It's been over 25 years since the big fiasco caused by Mitch Connor and the citizens of South Park are no longer tainted with cat urine.
The Original Freedom Pals have stored away their costumes as crime is now gone from the town, leaving only petty squabbles. That isn't to say all is peaceful of course... having proved himself capable of making The Former New Kid now called Richie time-fart by means of force, a punch to the stomach, Eric Cartman is currently under strict watch by the Former Freedom Pals. He is to be kept at least three feet away from Richie Agosto to prevent the chance of it happening again despite his constant claims it was Mitch and not him.
And this is where we find their kids today
Aidan, Levy, Derick, Kendall and The New Kid's child, Ramona Agosto (mostly known as 'Mona' for short) stand waiting at the bus stop for school. Levy is reading a book to prepare for a quiz, Kendall is using a stick to draw a penis in the snow and Sam is staring at his iphone. Derick seems more interested in a squirrel sitting on a branch across the road. They both seem to be locked in some form of staring competition... this happens on a daily basis now and Levy is convinced Derick was most likely a Bulldog in a previous life and a fat one at that.
Mona had her eyes closed and she seems to be pretty tired, perhaps even asleep standing up. Her parents had taken her to visit her grandma and arrived home in the early morning which had evidently taken its toll.
"Do you think there's going to be another break in?" Aidan suddenly piped up, still scrolling through his phone.
Levy blinked and eyed Aidan. "What do you mean?"
"There was a break-in at the Photo-Dojo last night. That's three shops and a house so far" replied Aidan.
"Oh... wait, someone broke into Photo-Dojo?" Levy seemed miffed by the news which made sense as he rarely watched TV anymore.
"Yeah, they took all of the cameras" Kendall answered in his usual muffled voice.
Sam showed Levy his phone, the image displayed the lens-window of the store completely smashed in.
"Oh geeze dude, there really is a burglar! Do you think this is..." he paused to glance around for a moment before continuing albeit in a hushed tone "Do you think this is a job for... for the New Freedom Pals?"
"I don't know... we've never really dealt with plain old thieves before." Aidan resumed scrolling through his phone. "Besides, I don't think I want to risk... you know." He gave a look at Derick who was still staring at the squirrel.
"I swear you guys this squirrel... I don't think it's real." He finally spoke.
"It's probably just terrified of you fatass, quit staring at it," Levy mumbled, turning his attention back to his book.
Finally, the bus arrived to take them to school though Mona failed to wake up as the others boarded the bus and it began to pull away leaving him at the bus stop.
"WAIT! STOP THE BUS!" Levy yelled, the bus pulling to a halt once more as he ran back down the aisle and jumped off. With haste, he picked up some snow and formed a snowball before hurtling it at Mona to wake him up. "You're gonna miss the bus!"
Derick scoffed. "What the hell Levy, you should have left him there!" he blinked as Mona and Levy boarded the bus, the vehicle began to move once more as they took their seats. Levy sitting next to Sam and Mona sitting a few seats behind.
"Everything okay?" Aidan questioned.
Levy gave a quick look back, Mona was sitting in his seat looking out the window. "Yeah... I had to make sure he got on."
"...why?"
"Well... that's the first time he would have missed the bus. What if he used his powers and screwed everything up again?" Levy sighed. He always felt nervous whenever anything happened that could possibly upset or even remotely irk Mona.
"Dude, you need to relax you're overthinking things. Besides, it's not even that far to walk." Aidan blinked.
"I... I guess you're right. I'm just nervous, what if it all happens again? What if he reverses time o-or jumps us forwards? Or freezes it all together?"
"Levy, you need to stop thinking. Right now." Aidan chided. "The Mona won't do that and Derick is never going to get close enough to cause anything. Trust me... besides, we aren't playing super-heroes."
Levy sighed. "Okay..."
Finally arriving at school, the lessons were slow and boring as usual. Math and Science... Derick of course making rude and derogatory remarks as always.
Finally, it was lunchtime Aidan, Derick and Levy sitting at their usual table. Mona is sitting with Luke, Tom and Jake.
"Hey, Luke? Do you want my cucumber slices again?" Tom asked.
"Sure."
"Again?" Jake blinked at the two.
"Yeah, Tom's mom always gives him slices of cucumber-" Luke began only to be interrupted by Tom.
"I hate it! I hate cucumber! She always puts cucumber in my lunch!" he exclaimed.
"So I just usually have it so his mom doesn't yell at him" Luke added.
"Oh... do... do you have anything else you don't like?" Jake eyed Tom. He wasn't greedy but he wouldn't say no to free food.
"Oh... uh, no just the cucumber" Tom replied.
Luke blinked. "I have a pastry. I usually like them but lately, my dad's been putting onions in them and I don't like onions..."
Jake grumbled. "Oh... I don't like them either unless it's warmed up."
"Yeah, I usually put it in the bin... do you want it, Mona? I'll trade you for that" Luke pointed over to Mona's bag of dried figs... an odd snack choice for a lunch but Mona didn't seem too bothered, she was always given them for her lunchbox.
With only a moment's thought, she offered the bag over to Luke in trade for the pastry before tucking into his new snack.
Over at Aidan, Levy and Derick's table, Derick had once again pissed off Levy.
"You can't just make a country fatass!"
"Yes, I can! I declare that my house is now its own country. It's called 'Nojewsland' and our motto is: 'Nojewsland, to serve the king and banish Jews'" he waved his arms over his head in a rainbow gesture.
Levy glared daggers at Derick. "I swear- you can't just make your own country in the middle of America! The only way you could possibly have any chance is buying your own island and the cheapest would be around fifty thousand dollars which you can't even afford anyway!"
"Oh really? Then- oh, what's this? A letter from the president? For me?" he flashed a piece of paper filled with small text briefly. "Hm, let's have a read shall we. Dear Derick, we have received your request for a small area of land to claim as your own country and we approve of this. You may create your own flag and be king of your new country. From, the president." he gave a smile... one of those smiles that really just make you want to punch his face.
Levy sighed. "That's not real."
Derick huffed and folded the letter. "Pff is so! It's printed in ink and everything!"
"The only reason it's printed is that you found out the password to connect to your mom's printer! You printed it out yourself!" Levy snapped. "You told us you figured out the password last week!"
"You did say that last week..." Sam added.
"No, it's real! Why would I lie about something like this?" Derick replied.
"...forget it, I'm not arguing with you." Levy sighed.
At that moment the bell rang, signalling the end of lunchtime.
Now was time for French class.
Jake was at the front reading out his homework, having to write a welcome brochure about South Park in French.
At the back, Luke wasn't looking too good. He was leaning on his desk with arms folded over his stomach and groaning quietly to which Tom had taken notice.
"Luke? Are you okay?" He asked, concerned for his boyfriend.
Luke groaned again. "N-No, I think I'm gonna be sick..." he burped Mona eyed Luke perhaps suspecting something. Suddenly in the middle of Jake's reading Luke finally spewed all over his desk.
"OH GAHD!" Tom yelled.
Mr. Scotch blinked and looked over. "Tom! Don't you know it's rude to interru-"
"But Luke! Luke's sick! He needs to go to the doctor!" Tom blurted again.
Butters tilted his head before noticing. "Oh, my... T-Tom, take him to the doctor's office. Jake, go inform and fetch the Janitor... someone's gotta clean up this mess."
Sophie was holding her nose and trying her best to not look. "That's disgusting!"
Malory had run to the opposite side of the classroom.
Teddy blinked and reached over to pat Luke on the back. "Y-you okay there Luke?"
"Does he look okay!?" Tweek swat Butters' hand away. "Come on Craig, let's get you some help" he tried leading Craig out of the classroom.
Luke just burped and almost vomited again before following Tom out to the doctor's office.
"W-What if he makes the rest of us sick?" Teddy asked.
"That only works if he sneezes of you..." Derick huffed.
"Oh."
Suddenly there was a loud noise... a fart to be precise. All eyes suddenly shift to Mona who seemed just as surprised as everyone else... she'd never farted by accident before. The rest of the class, all but Sam, Levy and Kendall, began to snicker. Of course, the girls were less than impressed.
"Mona, that is not appropriate!" yep. Even Mr. Scotch called him Mona.
Levy exchanged a look with Aidan. "That... that's never happened before... right?"
"How should I know?" Aidan replied. "It was just an accident... right Mona?"
Mona held her stomach, her guts giving an audible gurgle before she farted again. Suddenly Tom, Luke and Jake were back in the room at their desks, Luke's desk and floor still soiled.
"...wait, what?" Tom blinked.
"I thought I told you, boys, to get him to the doctor's office!" Mr. Scotch snapped having noticed the boys back at their desks.
Luke, however, vomited again...
Levy stared, "...Dude! Aidan, we have to get him out of here."
"Yeah, Luke's really not looking too well" Aidan eyed Luke as he was led out... again.
"Not him! Mona! She just jumped us back two minutes!" Levy frowned. "We have to get her out of here before she jumps us all again!"
Derick tilted his head. "...so she can make Luke throw up? Like, over and over again?" a grin began spreading across his face.
"This isn't the time Derick!" Levy stared. "E-Excuse me, Mr. Scotch? Mona isn't feeling too good. Can we be excused to take her to the doctor's please?"
Mr. Scotch sighed. "Fine fine just, get her out of here she's stinking up the place."
Outside, Levy had Mona sit against the wall. "Dude, you can't go jumping us all back whenever you feel like it. Luke could be seriously sick!"
"Hey lay off Levy, she didn't mean it." Sam sighed.
Levy blinked. "Aidan, she has control over it. The only way she would lose control is-" he paused a moment before turning his attention to Derick. "You fucker!"
"What did I do?"
"The only reason she would ever lose control is if someone fucked her over. The only person here that would do that is you!" Levy glared.
The main door opened, Tom and Luke emerged followed closely by Mr. Donovan.
"Levy? We're taking Luke to the doctors. He's told us he traded some food with your friend there. Are you aware of any special food items or medication that might have been in the food?" Mr. Donovan asked.
Taking a moment, Levy shook his head. "N-No sir, not that I'm aware of... um, did Luke happen to mention what he gave to him?"
"As far as I'm told, a packet of dried figs were traded for a... uh-"
"Three-cheese, bacon and onion pastry" Tom piped up.
Levy blinked. "Th-Three... cheese?"
"Uhuh" Tom answered.
"Oh..." Levy looked back at Mona. "Um, Mr. Donovan? Do you know anything that um... helps stop people from farting?"
"...farting?"
"Yeah, our friend is having a... a bad day..."
"Oh...okay. Well, cutting down on fatty or sugary foods can help uh as can uh eating seafood and rice okay?" Mr. Donovan began. "See, they're low in a thing called carbohydrates. You should try getting more fibre in your diet too, that should help-"
"AAARGH! CAN WE JUST GET HIM TO A DOCTOR!?" Tom screamed, his voice failing a little.
"Oh uh, sorry kids. Come on." He'd lead Tom and Luke to the car-park to drive them to the nearest hospital.
Levy watched them go. "Rice and seafood? Hey, Mona?" He'd turn to face her. "Do you like seafood?"
Mona just blinked at Levy.
"What about the Chinese place uh, City Wok? They do seafood right?" asked Aidan.
"I-I think so... okay. We'll take him-" Levy was rudely interrupted... by another time-fart.
Suddenly, Mr. Donovan, Tom and Luke were standing beside them again, the counselor droning on about the carbohydrates.
"What the... M-Mr. Donovan? Weren't we just going to the hospital?" Tom seemed confused before his gaze settled on Mona. "Goddammit, I'm warning you! Luke is sick, he needs to go to a hospital because whatever was in YOUR food made him sick! Stop using your powers to drag us all the way back here!"
"He... he can't help it Tom! We're taking him to City Wok to try and get this all under control alright?" Levy defended.
"Then go!" Tom led Luke to the car... again.
"Come on dude, we've gotta hurr-" Aidan started only to be distracted by Derick... who was now wearing his Coon Jr costume. "...Derick?"
"You heard the man, this is a job for Coon an-" he stopped having received a glare from Levy. "Uh... F-Freedom Pals..." Coon sighed dejectedly.
"This really isn't the time for this Derick... wait, did you strip off and get changed standing right there?" Levy shook his head. "Agh! Whatever, let's just get to City Wok."
A/N- Mona needs help right away. Anyway remember to like and review. This is Boi Marsh signing out!