I'm not that girl
Hands touch and eyes meet sudden silence and sudden heat. Hearts leap in a giddy whirl. He could be the boy but I'm not that girl. Don't dream too far. Don't loose sight of who you are. Don't remember that rush of joy. He could be that boy but I'm not that girl. Every so often we long to steal to a world of what might have been. That doesn't soften the ache we feel when reality sets back in.
Leah closed her eyes and remembered how Jacob had made her feel. When she was in his pack she felt better about herself. Everything in her life was finally setting into place. Flashback: Jacob took Leah's hand and said "Are you ok? You've been awfully quiet tonight. You are thinking about Sam again aren't you? Leah he never meant to hurt you. Now I should head back to check on Bella. This baby is killing her. I can't believe I'm saying this but Edward is right. She won't make it through birth. I have three days with her and that's it."
Leah smiled and said "Jake I'll run the boarder for you. Go spend some time with Bella. I'm sure that she'll be fine. You really care about her don't you?"
Jacob held Leah's gaze for a minute and then said "Yeah I do. Bella has always been there for me. She is my best friend. Thank you Leah once you're done running come inside. I want to talk to you."
After Jacob went inside Leah whispered to herself "What am I doing? I've always promised myself that I wouldn't ever dream too far again. I promised that no one person would ever steal my heart like this again. I am not in love with Jacob Black."
Just then Seth came running over to her and said "Leah what do you mean you aren't in love with Jacob? Sis Jacob could be the one for you. Have you ever considered it?"
Leah nodded slowly and said "When ever I'm around him there is a peaceful silence between us and my face flushes. I haven't felt this way since Sam dumped me." End flashback:
Tears flowed down Leah's cheeks. Everything was different between her and Jacob now. Ever since Renesmee had been born Jacob spent all his time with her. She tried to act like nothing was bothering her but deep inside her heart was breaking.
Leah couldn't stop herself from thinking about what could have been. Seth saw the pain in his sister's eyes and said "Leah stop thinking about how you and Jake could have been. All that is going to do is upset you more."
Leah sighed and said "Reality hurts more then my dreams right now. I had hope that Jake would have been the one to find my heart. He never cared about me at all. All he cares about that child. Why do I let myself get into this? I swore I wouldn't ever let a guy hurt me this much again."
Seth put his arm around Leah and said "I didn't want to tell you but he imprinted on Renesmee. He had no control over it. I'm so sorry Leah."
Leah forced a smile and said "It's ok. I've accepted that I'm not the type of girl that he wants. He might have been the guy for me but I'm not that girl for him. Thanks for telling me. I love you little brother."
Blithe smile, lithe limbs she who is winsome she wins him. Gold hair with a gentle curl that's the girl he chose. Heaven knows I'm not that girl. Don't wish. Don't start. Wishing only wounds the heart. I wasn't born for the rose and pearl. There's a girl I know he loves her so and I'm not that girl.
One night Edward's family needed to hunt so Bella asked Leah and Jacob to baby sit. Leah sighed while she watched Jacob rock Renesmee in his arms. He spoke softly to her and said "You are so cute Nessie. Yes you are my angel."
Leah sighed and said "Jake can I talk to you?"
Jacob nodded and said "Sure just let me put miss sunshine to bed. Do you want to hold her? Leah what's wrong?"
Leah frowned and said "Nothing just play with Renesmee. I'm going for a run."
Leah didn't think she just turned and ran from the house. Renesmee put her hand to Jacob's cheek and showed him Leah hugging Seth and saying "I'm in love with Jacob Black."
Jacob gently took Renesmee's hand in his own and said "Nessie I'm going to have Uncle Seth watch you for awhile."
After Seth got there Jacob ran to find Leah. He found her sitting on La Push first beach crying. When she heard Jacob she hastily wiped her tears and said "Should you be with Renesmee?"
Jacob slowly walked over to her and said "Leah. What's wrong? You are my Beta remember. We have to work together. Please talk to me."
Leah bitterly snapped "Oh so now you want to know! Well I don't want to talk anymore. Go away!"
Jacob sighed and said "Leah please. Don't be like this. I really want to help you. Now what's wrong?"
Leah took a deep breath and calmly said "I'm tired of wishing for love. Every stinking time I fall in love with someone they imprint. I hate it Jacob! You have no idea how it feels to be tossed aside time and time again. I'm tired of trying to tell you-."
Jacob took Leah's hand and said "Tell me what Leah? What have you been trying to tell me? I can't help you if you don't clue me in here."
Leah looked at Jacob sadly and said "It doesn't matter anymore. Just forget I ever said anything please."
Jacob gently said "Leah. If you tell me you'll feel better. I'm not going to leave you alone until you tell me."
Leah started to cry in between sobs she said "I'm in love with you. It doesn't make any difference because of Renesmee or as you call her princess sunshine. Maybe I just have to accept that I wasn't born to fall in love. I don't care anymore Jacob. You have the girl you love and I'm not her. I have to come to terms with that in my own way."
Jacob sighed and said "Leah there is someone out there for you. I'm sorry I didn't realize you were in love with me sooner. You are a good friend Leah. Once I got past the angry and bitter side of you things were better. Can I sit with you for awhile? I have a lot to think about."
Leah sighed and said "Jacob I don't care that you imprinted on Renesmee ok. I'm glad that you are happy. She is a sweet girl and I can see why you love her. What are you thinking about? I spilled my guts now you spill yours."
Jacob sighed and said "How do I tell Renesmee? What if she doesn't love me in return? I already had to deal with rejection once. I don't think I can face it again."
Leah smiled and said "Jake I'm sure Renesmee will love you. If by some chance she doesn't I'll be right here to catch you. That's what friends are for. I'll always be here for you Jacob."