A/N: My first Naruto fic! I always thought it was funny how people who barely read the Naruto manga don't know who Asuma or Kurenai or even guy is. Of course though, everyone loves Kakashi, even if they are fans, and noone really cares about Asuma, Kurenai, or even Gai. So... I thought of a parody music video for D-12's My Band, starring The Crew, Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai, and Gai... Heh... Ooh, and please review! It's not my best work, but it's just good for a quick laugh...
My Crew by KashTheKwik
-----------------------
The show starts with Kakashi sitting backstage, grinning as girls begin running up to him, begging and squealing for him to sign their copies of Come Come Paradise. The Silver haired Jounin smirked behind his mask, signing each one. On the other side of the backstage, Asuma, Gai, and Kurenai sit at their table, waiting for someone... Anyone.... to approach them for a signature... They look up at the sign of the next show they would perform. In big, bold letters, it said "Hatake Kakashi"... and in smaller letters... simply, "The Crew".
Suddenly, a blond boy with glimmering blue eyes walks up to Kakashi... Of course, this young man is wearing an orange jumpsuit, and his breath smells faintly of ramen spice...
Naruto: Excuse me... Kakashi! What do you think about the relationship between you and your group?! Also... Do you have any ramen?
There is a silence as Kakashi looks up, as if in deep thought... Then finally, he walks onstage, and the other shinobis, follow, sighing at their job....
Kakashi:I don't know dude...
I think everybody's all jealous and shit
Cause I'm like the lead jounin of the crew
And I think everybody's got a fuckin problem with me dude
And they need to take it up with me after the show
Because...
Kakashi begins running back and forth, jumping inside the auditorium, from balcony to stage, from stage to balcony, in his ninja garb, shaking his "groove thang" and holding the mic to where his mouth would be, if not covered by his masking...
Kakashi: these chicks don't even know the name of my crew...
But they're all on me like they got the flu...
Cuz once I blow they know that I'll be the dude...
All because I'm the lead jounin of my crew!
Kakashi: So I get off the field right, and then I drop the spike,
Walk up to the hot chicks and I'm all like,
"Sup ladies, my name's Kakashi",
I'm the lead singer in The Crew baby,
They're all like "Oh my god it's crazy,"
"Sakura, oh my frickin' god it's Hatake",
"I swear to frickin god dude you're frickin' sweet"
"Please Kakashi, let's see the sharingan beat!"
And by now the rest of the Jounins feel envy,
Especially when I drop the headband and go sharingan-y.
All the chicks start yellin', all the hot babes,
Throwin' their bras and gettin' me till I call rape!
So like every single night they pick a fight with me,
But when we fight it's kinda like sibling rivalry,
Cuz they're back on stage the next night with me,
Dude I just think you're tryna steal the light from me.
Yesterday Asuma tried to pull a kunai on me,
Cause I told him Kurenai's my wife to be,
This shinobi shit, it's the life for me,
And all the other guys just despise me because...
Kakashi: these chicks don't even know the name of my crew...
But they're all on me like they got the flu...
Cuz once I blow they know that i'll be the dude...
All because I'm the lead jounin of my crew, my crew, my crew, my crew,
my crew, my crew, my crew, my crew, my crew, my crew...
Gai gets fed up to the point of catching Kakashi in mid-air, spearing him and grabbing his mic, to stop their sharingan wielding jounin from showboating anymore. A tussle begins till Gai falls through the air, landing on the ground, but mic in hand...
Gai: You just wanna see a jounin backwards don't you?!
Hey Neji how come we don't train on proto?
Smash these trees, and pull a performance,
But we get verse, and Kakashi's chorus,
You don't want my autograph, yous a liar
And no I'm Gai (oh I thought you was Asuma.)
What the hell is wrong with that taijutsu room?!
Cuz my shit is lookin smaller than a decimal
See I know taijutsu, see it's simple but,
All I did was read a Uchiha Itachi book,
So I'm more intact, tryna get on the map,
Doin' jumpin jacks whilin' get whipped on my back...
Gai laughs suddenly yelling "49-52!" As he runs away from a stampeding group of angry Kakashi fan-boys who threaten to shave his eyebrows with hedge-clippers! The screen in the back of the stage turns on to show Asuma and Kurenai speaking in The Crew's dressing room early today...
Asuma: look at Hatake's little punk ass thinkin' he the shit.
Kurenai: Yeah I know man find himself takin on a flick.
Asuma: Hey I thought we had an session with Yamanaka Ino..?
([Kakashi shows himself from a curtain:] No I had an session not you two!)
Kurenai: You gonna be late for mission!
Asuma: Man I ain't goin' to mission!
Kurenai: But our students are screwed up and his are leadin'!
Asuma: You know what man I'ma say somethin! Hey yo Kak!
([Kakashi looks from the curtain again:] You got somethin to say?!)
Asuma: Man no!
Kurenai: I thought you bout to tell him off, what's up!
Asuma: Man I'ma tell him when I feel like it, man shut up!
And you ain't even back me up when we s'posed to be crew!
Kurenai: When I was bout to talk right after you
I swear, I swear man....
Kurenai: They say Kakashi rock, but the crew does not
Once we sold out arenas to the Konoha park
I'm gonna let the world know that Kurenai is hot!
I should cut out his eye before the fight starts,
Ready to snap on a dumbass fool,
Every time I hear (Hey dude I love your crew)
We ain't a crew, we don't make decisions
We get D and Kakashi gets A Missions,
And these guys think I can't make things explode,
([Kakashi:] Kurenai carry my bag)
Fool carry your own!
Can't make it to the fight, genins in the way
(Who the fuck are you? Where's Sakura and Sasuke?)
Before Kakashi can get to Kurenai, the crimson eyed jounin and female of the group passes it to the resident smoker amidst all the chaos, then pushes Kakashi into a mob of screaming fan-girls, who nearly consume him...
Asuma: god dammit I'm sick of this group,
Time for me to go solo and make some loot,
I told you I made the jutsus, and wrote all the scolls,
Till Kakashi took all the rolls,
When I was a genin, I was in the back,
When I was a chuunin, I was in the back,
Fuck the other countries, I got suggestions,
Fuck Kakashi, ask us the questions,
Like who's the crew, how we get started,
(What about Kakashi?)
Bitch are you retarded?
Anyway I'm the hottest guy in the group
Cough up a lung, girls think I'm cute.
Gai told me to train taijutsu to get all buff,
I did two and half sets and then I couldn't get up,
Fuck crew, I'm out of this group,
I'm gonna start a fight with Itachi and fly the coop...
Finally, Kakashi gets the mic back, screaming into it in a boy-band like voice...
Kakashi: Girl why cant you see you're the only one for me
And it just tears my mangas apart to know that you dont know my name!
Asuma comes from behind, hammering Kakashi in the back and knocking him out....
Asuma: these chicks don't even know the name of my crew...But they're all on me like they got the flu...
Cuz once I blow they know that i'll be the dude...
All because I'm the lead jounin of my crew.Kakashi gets back up, and disappears... Asuma looks around, only finding a log where Asuma had been... and suddenly, Kakashi pulls the Subterranian Decapitation technique through tile floor, leaving Asuma there...Kakashi: My crew! My crew! My crew! My crew! My crew! My crew! My crew! My crew!
My cccrrreeeeewwww baby!
Asuma: The best jounins in all of Konoha- The Crew!
The scene finally cuts to the four jounin, Kakashi in the front, with a mic and wearing the outfit of a black silk shirt, open to expose his chest. He also wears silk pants to match, as the others in the back, merely do a background dance....Kakashi: I'm the lead jounin of my crew,
I love Come Come Paradise too!
And the lead jounin of my crew, my paradise!
Makes all the pretty girl's want to dance,
My paradise, look out for my next single it's called 'My Paradise'!
My para-para-para-para, my paradise!
Makes all the pretty girls want to dance,
And take off their underpants,
My paradise makes all the pretty girls wanna dance,
And take off their underpants, my paradise,
Where'd everybody go?
The scene ends with Kakashi looking around, a single spotlight on him and him alone... Suddenly, three pairs of eyes glimmer from the darkness... The last thing scene before the screen blacks out is Asuma, Gai, and Kurenai attacking Kakashi....
-------------------------------
And that's the end! Yes, slightly stupid I know... But please, review!