A/N: The latest in the holiday fics! Wheeler and Linka's first Christmas together. Will it be as memorable as all their other holidays?

Disclaimer: Not mine. They belong to the great Ted Turner. Don't sue me!

Chapter 1

Bah Humbug

I don't know what to do. I'm lying in bed next to the most beautiful girl I've ever met. I'm madly in love…but I don't know what to do. I'm afraid I've made a mistake…like I've done too much too soon, and now…I'm tossing and turning because I think the only thing I have left to offer her is disappointment. She'll have all these expectations and all I'll give her is a life full of let downs. What was I thinking? Why did I ever believe that I deserved her? I was blinded by my hormones. I wasn't thinking about what was best for her in the long run, just what was best for me in the short run. I finally got the girl of my dreams and have spent the most amazing year of my life with her. But that's all about to come to an end. How do I explain it to her? How do I tell her I can't be the man she thinks I am? I can't keep letting her think I'm this great, romantic guy. I'm a fake, a phony. And sooner or later, she's gonna find out…and she's gonna hate me when she finds out the truth. And it'll be over anyways…why didn't I realize this sooner? I should have seen this coming. And now we're both going to get hurt.

I'm about to roll over for the umpteenth time when a hand reaches across my chest and holds me in place.

"I swear to God Yankee, if you roll over ONE MORE TIME, I am leaving and going back to my own room," Linka says sleepily.

"Maybe you should."

"You want me to leave?"

"Yeah."

After a long pause, she props herself up on her elbow and asks,

"Is everything alright?"

"I just can't sleep and obviously, it's keeping you awake…so you should go back to your room and get your rest. Don't let me keep you up."

"Wheeler, if something is bothering you, I want to know. You can tell me anything…you know that right?"

"I know," I say. "I just…I don't know what it is. I just have alot on my mind."

"Well, I am awake now…perhaps there is something I can do to get your mind off whatever is bothering you?" She says suggestively as she reaches around and runs her hand down my torso.

I grab her hand and stop it just as her hand begins to slide under the waistband of my boxers. How do I tell her that that's not possible. She can't take my mind off whatever is bothering me, because she is what's bothering me.

"No Linka. It's…I'm just…not in the mood."

"Oh. I see. Ok. Then, if you did not want me here tonight, you should have just said so," she says as she climbs out of bed.

"It's not like…nevermind," I say as I roll onto my side and pull the covers around my shoulders, my back facing her.

"I am sorry if I have done something to upset you. Goodnight Yankee."

"Goodbye Linka," I whisper, unsure of whether or not she heard me.

I woke up the next morning after only getting a few hours of sleep. Linka and Gi were in the kitchen finishing breakfast when I entered. Linka looks like she didn't get much sleep either.

"Good morning Wheeler!" Gi says.

"G'mornin' Gi," then I look at Linka and nod, "Hi."

"Hello," she says coolly.

"Wheeler, you look like you could use a few more hours of sleep," Gi points out. "Looks like Linka could too! What a coincidence," she says with a wink.

I know Gi means well, and any other day, her joke would have been funny…and true…but today, it just made things awkward.

"Sorry I had to drag her away from you and wake you both up so early...after obviously having a rough night…but I've got some Christmas shopping to do and I wanted Linka to come with me to help me get some ideas for you."

"You mean you're not done yet Gi, the official shopaholic of the Planeteers!?" I ask.

"Oh, and I suppose you're completely done with everyone?" She replies.

"All except one."

"Do you want to come with us?" Gi asks.

Yes

"No," I lie.

I do want to go with them. I wanna be with Linka. I wanna walk around the mall holding her hand like all the other couples our age are doing. And I know what guys at the mall are like. They're gonna see two pretty girls by themselves, and all these guys are gonna be hitting on them, following them...Let 'em. If I can't give Linka what she deserves, I can't stand in her way if someone else can.

"Is something wrong Wheeler? You're going to pass up a chance to spend free time with Linka?!"

"I'm just not in the mood for shopping," I say.

"You are not in the mood for anything lately," Linka says under her breath.

I look over at her to let her know that I heard her, but then I look away. I'm not gonna argue with her.

"Are you ready Gi?" Linka asks.

"Yeah, whenever you are."

"Wheeler, is there anything in particular that you want for Christmas? Give me some ideas of things you want or need," Linka says.

"Don't bother gettin' me anything. There's nothin' I want, nothin' I need, or nothin' I deserve. Just save your money."

"Of course I am getting you something! Do not talk like that! Why would you think that you do not deserve anything? I WANT to get you something, and I AM getting you something, I just thought I would ask you for some ideas if there was anything you wanted."

"I told you. NOTHING. Am I not speaking clearly? You know what nothing means right?" I say as angrily as I can. This hurts so bad. The look on her face…it's hurting her too...which is hurting me even more.

"Da. I know what 'nothing' means, smartass. Perhaps it is you that does not understand…I AM BUYING YOU A CHRISTMAS PRESENT! I was just giving you the opportunity to get something you wanted. Now you will get whatever I decide to get you, and if you do not like it, that is your own damn fault!"

Wow. Linka never swears…not in English anyways.

"Fine. It's your money. Waste it however you'd like," I say as I leave.

What's wrong with me? Why can't I just be honest with her? Tell her what's bothering me? Because I know she'd talk me out of it. Would that be so bad? I know I'm being irrational. I don't like Christmas. I'm being a scrooge. I'm letting all of the emotions that get me down every year cloud my judgment. Am I really gonna let the same feelings that get me down every year interfere with the best thing that has ever happened to me? Do I really feel that I'm not good enough for her or is it just the self depreciation that I go through every year at Christmas…a product of my raising. Why do I want to hurt myself by pushing her away? Why am I doing this when I know that it's hurting her? Because I know in the end, it's the best thing for her. I can't be the one that breaks up with her though...she needs to dump me. It'll hurt her less if she's the one that ends it...if she's the one that's in control. I hope that someday, she'll see that too, and we can remain friends. I know one thing's for sure. I'll always love her. That's why I have to let her go.

To Be Continued...Wait? What am I doing?! These are supposed to be happy, lovey dovey, cheesey, drama free fics! But I can't do Christmas. This chapter is called Bah Humbug for a reason...that's how I feel. And I'm taking Wheeler down with me! And as a result, I'm gonna have to make you all suffer through my holiday blahs and a not so happy, lovey dovey, cheesey, drama free fic. It's gonna be a sad Christmas. You've been warned. It'll probably get better. I just haven't gotten that much written yet. I just wanted to get this posted before I changed my mind!