Make her let go

by Rhodri

Severus' thoughts on how he is undeserving of Hermione.

Make her let go

Do you know how much it hurts?

I'm slowly making her fall out of love with me,

She won't leave me simply,

So I'll go cold,

It'll hurt less.

For her at least.

I'm pausing a little longer before I tell her I love her,

Kissing her a little less sweetly,

Holding her less tightly,

Like I'm her drug,

And she needs to let go to see that I'm ruining her.

But she's so beautiful,

Reddish brown locks around a face,

That I have adored since I've known it,

But the real beauty is her mind,

Brightest witch of her age,

And maybe the next few ages too.

It hurts so badly to push her away,

All this interference in my mind,

"Hold her", don't do it,

I need to go cold again,

Creep back to my dungeon,

Where I'm safe.

But when she's around,

It's like summer all the time,

Like a high that lasts for hours,

Where I'm 17 and free,

Except this time I have friends,

Not Professor, but Sev,

Here to live, and love,

And adventure with the woman he loves,

And be a man that he can accept.

And then, a crippling sickness,

To my stomach, like the floors uneven and I'm unbalanced.

Like I'm insecure suddenly,

And I'm Snivellus, pathetic, weedy,

And I can't defend myself,

And I want to hide,

Or die.

So I have to let her go,

Find someone she can love,

And who can love her back,

Someone who can be Sev.