Sumary: This is my take on how Luke and Lorelai could find their way back to each other, is Lorelai's POV. This is a song fic, lirics from Spoiled by Joss Stones. There's also two lines from the show itself, one from episode 7.01 and another from 7.02, both from Luke.
Disclaimer: C'mom people, I do not own this...
AN: Just one more thing, read and review please! I really want to know your thoughts on this fic
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Spoiled
I kind of thought that I'd be better off by myself
I've never been so wrong before
She was the one to pull the plug, sort of speak. They were killing each other that way and she knew it, and the worst part was that she knew he knew it too.
But Lorelai wasn't expecting to be like that. She loved him, she truly did. But she though she could get over it, it would be hard, yes, but not impossible. After the things he said to her, after telling her that they weren't meant to be, she was sure that she, Lorelai Gilmore, would be able to forget him and move on with her life.
She got home after running into Luke on the market and had a good long cry, eat tons of ice cream, watched The Way We Were and told Rory everything that had happened between them in the past six months. And after all of that, Lorelai thought she could actually go on with her life and just don't se him, out of sight out of mind right?!
It was only a few days after that Christopher decided to go to her, tell her that he wanted to be with her, that he loved her. Lorelai knew better, she knew she couldn't just start something with someone, especially Chris, in such a short amount of time after her break up with the guy that was supposed to be the one she would be spending the rest of her life with. But even then, even when she knew she just shouldn't do it, she called him, and they indeed started a relationship that she knew was destined to fail.
You made it impossible for me to ever
Love somebody else
And now I don't know what I left you for
They were through. She couldn't take that anymore, she didn't love him. It was that simple. She knew it would end up that way, which was the only way something involving her and Chris would end up like, but she tried to love him. Just like she did with Max some years before… she wanted to love him, with all her strength actually, but love is not something you can transfer to a person like that.
Like always that something didn't go his way, Christopher acted like a baby, he fought and told her they were right together, that they loved each other and they should be together. They were high school sweet hearts and their destiny was to be a family, him, Lorelai and Rory. The only problem in that plot of his was the fact that Lorelai didn't think that way.
She couldn't live in a lie anymore; she tried so hard to make everything work out with Chris, she thought that maybe they really could make it work this time, she was letting herself believe that she was falling for him, with the movies and the trip to Paris but reality was something she couldn't ignored for ever.
The fact was that she missed Luke. It was not like sometimes she thought about him and just looked the other way and everything was fine again, she couldn't take away his face from her mind, the image of him in her house, her bed. It was something she just couldn't put away from her mind anymore.
Denial land was a place she no longer knew.
See I thought that I could replace you
He can't love me the way you do
'Till now I never knew
Christopher was nothing like Luke. They couldn't be more different.
As Chris was the guy that liked to impress a girl, it didn't matter what it was, he liked to give presents, and make dates cute, romantic and adorable; it really was one of his best qualities. He was creative in that department, and Lorelai could not say she had a miserable time with him, far from it; it was like being with an old friend at the movies or at dinner. But just friends.
Luke was the guy who wouldn't take his girl to Paris on the third month of dating, first because he hated to fly and second he just didn't saw the point of doing something like that, but he would take the girl out to a nice dinner and just talk, and even though Luke is not known for his talking skills, Lorelai could confirm that when it comes to sweet talk, Luke was definitely talkative.
And that was the thing, she didn't want the kind of relationship she had in the past, the kind that felt like she was out on an auction and he was one of the many guys wanting to take her home. Not that Chris was thinking like that, because she didn't think he was, but she felt like that.
And with Luke she felt like herself, like her life was full and that he was there just for her, the whole Lorelai, not just the good Lorelai or the sexy Lorelai. He was there for her and he loved her just the same, even with the coffee addiction, the bad eating habits, the insane chatty. He just loved her and that was everything she needed.
I'm spoiled
By your love boy
No matter how I try to change my mind
What's the point it's just a waste of time
I'm spoiled by your touch boy
The love you give is just too hard to fight
Don't want to live without you in my life
Everything with Luke was better, easier, happier. She hated felling this way now, like she would never be able to get that kind of happiness again.
She wanted that, that sense of comfort, love, safety… she wanted that back. Those two years that they've spend together were without a doubt the best of their lives, his and hers. She just wished she would have said something when she still had the chance.
Yell, scream, hit him, anything that could have made a difference! She wasn't the type that kept quiet and let the other person do what they thought were right without giving them her impute on the matter. But she had lost him before, and that was one hell of a month. She didn't want for that to happen again, so she kept quiet and let him run that thing. Only now she hoped she had spoken up, told him about her feelings and made him see that she was hurting and that she wanted to be included on his and his daughter life.
If she had had the courage to speak and make him see her point things could have turned out differently.
I tried to tell myself that I'd be over you in a week
Or two
But baby that was 'bout a year ago
I've never seen the word love so personified as I do
With you
And that is why I just can't let go
After things when down with Chris she buried herself in her work. She was determined to not let her Luke thoughts take the best of her. She just knew he wouldn't take her back, and she just didn't want to go over the diner and make sure of that fact.
It was hard no try not of think of him, it was like he was in every place she went or anywhere she looked. She almost gave up drinking coffee, that's only to show how determinant she was to forget him… his words still hung on her head, day and night she remembered his face when she told him she had slept with Christopher, the look on his face on the street later that day, the distant look he had on at the market. His words, two sentences she never though it would be possible to come out of the mouth of one Luke Danes.
It's like my life isn't even real to me unless you're there, and you're in it and I'm sharing it with you!
That alone had broke her heart in so many pieces she wasn't even sure if she would be able to get it all back together. It was overwhelming to see him like that, like he was fighting for his life and she was the one who would let him keep it. All that faded away quickly after she said what she had done. She never thought it would be able to hurt him like that, but there she was, proving herself wrong.
It's just, we're not right together, you know? You're you, I'm me. I just… want to stop pretending we're something else. You don't belong with me. You belong with someone like Christopher. And I just... let's just stop fighting it, okay?
And when she thought she could not get more hurt, that she could not be more miserable with her life, he told her she should be with Christopher. And the pain she saw in his eyes two days before, she was sure he could see in her own eyes now.
And I would only be fooling myself if I tried to
Believe there's room for someone else in my heart
In two days two sentences that could not be more different in meaning. She didn't know what to think, now that she had allowed herself to think about him, and all of that had happened. She wanted to believe he meant the first sentence, that he really loved her with all that power and strength. But his second sentence was said with the same coherence than the first one, and she just didn't know what to do. Now more than ever.
She tried with Christopher, she gave then a chance. But she couldn't be with him, he wasn't Luke, he just wasn't who she really wanted to be with. After all their problems and all the hidings, she wanted him. With daughter or no daughter, she just needs him. He was what was missing from her life; he was the piece that was missing for her to fell whole again.
There ain't no way I'm getting over you
I don't know what I've been trying to prove
I'm hopeless, helpless when it comes to you
She wanted to go to the diner, she wanted to tell him that what she did was wrong, she should not have slept with Chris that night, she wanted to tell him how sorry she was. And in her mind he would tell her he was sorry too, that he should not have kept the whole April thing from her, that he should not have pushed her away like he did. He wanted to kiss him, she wanted to hold him and never let him go again.
All she wanted to do was that, just go to the diner and tell him she loves him and that everything they had done wrong they could fix it, together. But she was too scared to do that, she didn't knew if he would say that he loves her too, or if he just wanted to be alone. She still didn't know what of those sentences was the right one. She wanted to believe it was the first one, that his life wasn't whole without her, that he didn't even cared if anything happened to his diner if she wasn't there with him.
She had nothing to lose. She had lost him already, so Lorelai Gilmore decided to face her fears and marched over to the diner with a clear mission in mind, she wasn't letting this one last breath of hope slip through her lungs. She just needed to try one more time, because if she didn't, she would never forgive herself.
I'm spoiled
By your love boy
No matter how I try to change my mind
What's the point it's just a waste of time
I'm spoiled by your touch boy
The love you give is just too hard to fight
Don't want to live without you in my life
She still couldn't believe it, she was just too amazed to actually think about the happenings of the night.
She went to the diner, she gave him an half an hour speech and he actually listen to the whole thing, without interrupting her one single time. And he talked back after she said he could respond, and if it's possible his speech was almost longer than her.
He apologized, she apologized. They didn't yelled, there was no reason for the yelling this time. This time was different, they talked, like really talked. Everything was out in the open now, they knew exactly what the other was felling and they were glad they could still communicate after all this time. She apologized again, and so did he for the rest of the night.
After six months they were able to sleep again, not like they were currently sleeping, but they slept peacefully and content with the world again. They forgave each other for everything, for keeping daughters at arms length, for sleeping with ex boyfriends, for not talking to one another, for letting the other think they didn't love each other anymore.
But more important than that, they forgave each other for past mistakes and were glad that they still could work things out, that they still had that one chance, their last chance, to make things the right way, to make each other happy, to make each other whole for the rest of their lives.
The End