a/n: this is my first attempt at a fan-fic so pretty please let me know what you think. btw i own nothing twilight, except my team edward keychain.

BELLA

This was all kinds of fucked up.

And I knew it wasn't going to get any better soon.

I was laying on the cold tile floor of my living room. Alice with a damp towel to my forehead, and the tall man in blue hovering. I looked around, raised my head slightly- I saw the glass and the blood... My stomach lurched again. The officer asked where my parents were.

Phil picked me up from Vickie's the next afternoon, apologizing and telling her Renee would call her later. His knuckles were white with the force of his grip on the steering wheel, the muscles in his toned arms were taut. The ride home was silent and uncomfortable. But better than the yelling I had been expecting.

The front window of the house was covered with plywood. Phil looked over at me as he pulled into the driveway. His hazel eyes bored into me, he said nothing. He didn't need to, I could feel his anger. I noticed a beer bottle in the rocky landscaping of the front yard, though the red I had seen on the front porch last night was no longer visible. Phil got out of the car, and walked up the walk and I followed wordlessly with my head down.

Thank God for Alice. I don't know how she did it, but things were relatively clean. The glass was gone, as was the blood. I don't think I could have handled that again. Couches were pushed back into place around the coffee table, I had spent much of the night before attempting to dance on. Empty plastic cups and bottles no longer lined the bookshelves. The only tell-tale sign that this house had been the sight of a lot underage drinking the night before, was the guilt on my face and of course the broken front window.

"Your mother is in your room," Phil finally spoke.

I walked through the arched walkway and down the salmon colored hall as I slowly came out of my haze. Things has seriously gone too far. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why the fuck was my mom in my room waiting for me? What the fuck was Phil doing home?

He had a game tonight. And he was here? My mom was spending the long labor day weekend with him in Texas. And she was here? My brain couldn't wrap around any of this. And I sure it wasn't just my wicked hangover.

The door to my room was open, Renee's back was to me. Her dark hair cascading down either side of her face as she bent over something on my bed. She turned walking toward my dresser, closing an empty drawer and opening another. She stacked my pants in her arms, What the hell! She glanced over at me before turning back toward the bed. She looked older than she ever had, tired and sad. Under her nose was red and raw, her eyes were ringed in red and puffy, they sparked with the slight tinge of green they always did when she cried. And on my bed was a large almost full duffel bag.

All kinds of fucked up.

She placed the stack of pants in the duffel. Turning back to the dresser.

My breath hitched. She looked over at me again. She was so sad. I dropped my gaze to the floor and sad nothing as Renee opened another drawer.

I knew this was not good, but couldn't find my voice to question what was happening. I looked up at her, my eyes full of panic and confusion. And Renee could read me like an open book. Her eyes met mine.

"We decided something" she spoke softly.

What I wanted to scream, but my mouth couldn't find the words. Though it opened. All that came out was a soft hiss, like a balloon deflating, as my breath escaped me. Renee stared at me for what seemed to be hours before I could manage a slight nod, willing her to go on.

"So," she started slowly, "we think maybe you...." Renee stopped, considering her words.

What the fuck!! I screamed in my head, What is going on? Renee looked into my dark brown eyes, watching as the confusion in them turned to anger. Who the FUCK is WE!!! My mouth opened again, as my ire rose, I had never yelled at my mom, ever, now I was trying to rein myself in.

"The ticket's already been purchased."

More confusion. My head swam. My breaths were coming fast and shallow.

"Your going to stay with your dad for awhile."

I swallowed. I may have swayed. I was dizzy. I lowered myself to the cool Terra Cotta tile. All kinds of fucked up.

"Your leaving in the morning."

"Mom..." I whispered.

"I think I've got everything you'll need packed up for you..."

"You can't..." I could barely hear my own words.

I heard Phil shifting his weight in the hall behind me. Of course he would be there. Making sure Renee didn't falter. I'm guessing that a lot of the "we" Renee had spoke of was really "they". Phil and Charlie.

"I'm sorry..." Renee started.

"Please get out, " I whispered. I wanted to be by myself to fall apart. I knew there was no talking my way out of this. I knew that Phil wasn't' going to leave my mom and me alone to give me a chance. I had fucked up and now I was fucked.

When my mom met Phil, it was great. She was so happy and I loved when she was happy. Of course I was skeptical. I'd seen Renee fall in "love" before. Always too quickly and often it didn't end well. Then I met him, and I thought he was a good guy. Young maybe, I mean he was only 10 years older than me, though when had Renee ever acted her age. He nice though, and he seemed to have his crap together. More together than Renee. And more than the handful of men she'd been involved with that I actually met.

So then the unthinkable happened. Phil moved in with us. It wasn't too bad. Actually at first it was great. Phil could kind of cook, so I wasn't making every meal. He could remember to pay the bills and feed the fish. He could remember where mom had left her keys and he could look at a clock or calendar every once in awhile. I realized how much I'd taken care of Renee, and now I had time to be a kid myself. I focused more on my school work, and I spent more time with my best friend, Alice.

Last summer Phil and I were home while Renee was taking a pottery class. I was prepping dinner in the kitchen when Phil came in and said he wanted to talk. He asked me for my my mom's hand, it was sweet, and of course I said OK. He proposed that night, 2 months later they were married.

That's when things got weird.

Maybe Phil hadn't thought much about being a parent until he married Renee. I mean he was around me, he knew I was Renee's daughter. But what that meant for him was less defined. But it was as if he suddenly felt the need to define his role as "step dad".

To say that Renee's parenting style was lax, probably an understatement. But Phil's... well it was definitely different than my mom's. There were arbitrary rules and expectations, he began to question me endlessly about everything. He was even getting on Alice's nerves. I started spending less time at home. Which brought on more questions and then he grounded me.

That was the tipping point.

I was shopping with Alice, which wasn't on my list of top things to do. I swear sometimes Alice thought I was an overgrown doll. But I'd lost a bet, over how many times my neighbor Jasper could manage to walk past while we were sunning on my porch, well Alice was tanning I was trying not to burn. I don't usually make bets with Alice but boredom had gotten the better of me. By the way the answer was 7, 7 times in 45 minutes.

So shopping was my punishment. I'd told my mom I'd be home around 4:30 to start dinner. It ended up being closer to 6, since we'd ran into some friends at the mall and had dinner with them. It was a Thursday, Phil was usually at the gym late Thursdays and Renee had called to say she'd be at the school late, so I didn't even think about it.

When I got home Phil was livid. I still don't' know why he was home. He went on and on about how he had no idea where I was. Hello, you could have called my cell phone and asked! When I said I'd had dinner with boys from school, I thought his eyes would pop out of his head. I walked away as he was relaying the terms of my grounding and shut my bedroom door in his face.

I know that some of the coaches from his team had teens, they were probably giving him all sorts of advice and warnings. But Phil had known me since I was 14. He had to have some idea as to what type of person I was. I couldn't think of anything I'd done from the time he'd moved in to make him not trust me. I'd been a good student, in several AP classes, I was always home on time. Still he doubted me so greatly. As I sat in my room, behind that closed door I figured if he was going to think the worst, maybe I'd show him what it was like. That probably wasn't the best choice I'd ever made, but it was too late to change things now.

I reached for my phone to call Alice and realized that my phone was gone. They couldn't be fucking serious. I wanted to go grab my cell phone from my purse, but my purse was in the living room and I wasn't going out there. Besides I'm sure that it had been confiscated as well. I thought about sneaking out my bedroom window and walking the six blocks to Alice's but the small blinking light in the corner of my window sill told me the alarm had been activated. Plus, without my cell I wouldn't be able to let her know I was coming, and I wouldn't have made it past the gate.

All kinds of fucked up.

Fingering the heavy ring hanging from the chain around my neck, I curled up on my bed to cry and sleep off my hangover.