Hey, Just a little one-shot fic based loosely on the events of tonight's e4 episode. Just to let you know I have added a few of my own bits in as well

Written In Brendan Brady's Point of view :)

Hope you enjoy! xx

Goodbye, Steven.

I must have stood outside that door for a good 10 minutes or so before I actually built up the courage to knock. I'd been mulling it over the last few hours; how I would word what I wanted to say to Steven. I'd practiced my speech numerous times, yet here I was still thinking it over and over in my head working out how to phrase it. I knew Douglas would be home, he hadn't left Steven's side since he'd been discharged from hospital so it wasn't like I could tell him my real feelings towards him, the way I can't help but stare into his eyes when I talk to him, how I get the butterflies in my stomach that only 14 year old girls are supposed to feel for their first crush...

So there I was 10 minutes after I'd arrived bringing my fist up to the door, the noise that would signal an end to the hope, I suppose, that me and Steven would eventually get back together, be a proper couple...

He looked so perfect when he opened the door. Sure he'd been run over, been in a coma for a week and only been released from hospital a few days beforehand but if anything he'd gotten more attractive. His eyes stared into mine, and I stared back for a split second before they darted down to his jumper. I was going to comment on how hideous it was but I thought better of it. I'd probably be thrown out before I'd even said what I came here for in the first place. My eyes moved back up to Steven, they didn't have the longing in them that they had just a few seconds previous. They showed something different..

'What you doing here?' Steven asked me. How do I reply to that? I decided that I shouldn't, first I need to know that he's okay.

'How you getting on? Okay?'

Steven took in a sharp intake of breath, I wasn't sure if that was because he was in pain or he literally know how to answer me. Was he lost for words?

'Im fine'

See, my names Brendan Brady. I know when people lie and right at that moment I knew Steven was lying to me. He wasn't fine. I wanted to take his face in my hand right there and then and bring it back up to my eye level, but I was pretty sure his fian...husband wouldn't appreciate me doing so.

'Was wondering if I could have a word..won't take long' I pushed past Steven at that moment, nothing violent, just enough so I could get into the flat. That's when I noticed Douglas sitting there on the sofa with a cardigan as hideous as Steven's, wine glass full on the table. Lovely that, drinking when your other half is on medication and can't drink, rub in his face why don't you? I nearly laughed actually the sight of a giant crocodile on the corner of the sofa, almost looking like it was sitting on his shoulder and there Douglas was not even acknowleding my presence.

'Douglas' I gave a little nod. He didn't respond to me. It was blatent he wouldn't. He was obviously scared of what I would reveal to Steven. I know the whole story and I know that Steven doesn't know the whole story. That actually makes me a little smug now come to think of it one nil to the Brady.

I turned round again to face Steven. I didn't know he was so near to me, our faces were literally inches apart and I could feel his breath on me. I couldn't help but stare at his mouth, licking his lips. God, I still fancy that boy...

'Sorry to disturb your evening, I just wanted to let you know that I'm selling this place.'

OH BRENDAN WHY ARE YOU SO BLUNT? I'd practiced this so many times, all the other options I had were less painful, less nasty.

'Is this a joke' Steven replied.

'I like to think I'm funnier than that.'

I could have sworn I'd seen a little smile in the corner of Steven's perfect mouth after my last remark. I always did make him laugh, even when we wasn't...together.. I could still get a smile off of him, cheer him up when his down. I hope Douglas does the same.

'Well you can't! We've got rights! We need time to find a new place!'

'I'm not asking you to go anywhere Steven, if you wanna stay you can'

For a moment, I'd forgotten that myself and Steven weren't alone. We never were these days, up popped Douglas flaming Carter. 'What's the catch Brendan?'

'There is no catch Douglas, but thanks for asking'

I looked back into Steven's eyes, I've never really noticed how amazing they were before, so sparkly, but holding so much pain.

'The rent is fixed, they can't kick you out... the exact same but a different landlord...'

'It's all a bit sudden aint it?'

It was. It was sudden but Steven was unaware the pact I had made with the big man. That I had promised to leave Steven alone to get on with his life if he let him live. Steven deserved to live.

'Yeah...well I'm sure you know more than most life is short.. I wanna make the most of it..move on I guess?'

It was Steven this time who gazed back at me, bringing his eyes to mine. He actually looked distraught, believe it or not. That's what I'm telling myself anyway.

'You're leaving?'

'Mhm..Places to go, people to see, that kinda stuff'

Steven didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. Douglas didn't say anything. We were all speechless. I'd just told the love of my life that I was leaving, leaving him and my old life behind and starting a new one. I wasn't exactly expecting him to beg me to stay but I expected some sort of emotion.

'Just wanted to tell you in person you know..'

'Well thanks?'

Thanks? All Steven could say to me was thanks? Thanks for what? For telling him I'm going? For telling him myself before Cheryl or somebody else blabbed?

'Thats okay' I didn't really know what else to say. I could feel our last ever conversation together coming to an almighty end. I didn't want it to stop. I'd talk about complete shit if it meant I could spend another 5 minutes in his company.

I turned to Douglas again. I don't really know why but I could feel him staring through me. He really was apprehensive of what I was going to say. I'd never do that to Steven though. He has just proved to me he loves Douglas, however deluded that sounds and I wanted him to have a good life, the best life. Even if Douglas was trying to get me out of the picture it was for a good intention..

'I'll see myself out..night'

I slammed the door shut quickly, I could feel my tears starting to flow. Looking up to the ceiling I whispered 'There you go, done.'

I couldn't control my crying. I wanted him so bad, I just wanted to hug him, stroke his hair, just have him in my arms and that was never going to happen now. I wasn't allowed anymore contact with him throughout my entire life. This was the end. I touched the door.

'Goodbye Steven, I love you'

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