Hello, this is a first for me in this fandom. I do love Twilight and I love the Wolf Pack and one of the first stories I ever read was a Paul/Rachel Fanfic. I had a rough draft (from when I was like thirteen) back in the day and I dusted it off and republished, and I hope you all enjoy.

So here is the first chapter, I approximately hope this will be twenty chapters, this story is AU so the meetings and the ages are a little different. I think that Paul must have graduated by at least Eclipse if not before New Moon so I would like to reiterate that Rachel and Paul's one night stand was consensual and legal. I am writing this with the belief that they were both seniors. I know that does kinda effect the Jared/Kim relationship but I am writing him a year younger than Paul. So yeah some distortion of cannon. However all major events in Breaking Dawn will remain the same.

I hope you all enjoy this story and will review and let me know what you think, any questions then please ask in a review or send in a PM and I will be more than happy to give you any answers.

Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. The only character that does belong to me is Shay.

Please Read and Review.

And I will update as soon as I can.

(PS) grammar and punctuation are not my strong point so fair warning...

Also I am rating this story as M as upcoming chapters will have M rated content.

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction. When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to help pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 1-I Would For Me

Rachel's Point of View

I breathed carefully through my nose as my surroundings came back to me. I was in a car that much I knew and judging by the wetness near my hairline I was bleeding. I was supposedly spending my summer with Rebecca and her husband in Hawaii before I went back to Washington for the first year of my scholarship and I didn't understand for a second why my body seemed to be distended, why something was pressing against the wheel.

And then it came crashing back to me. The real reason I had left La Push in the first place, brown eyes, warm hands on my skin, and the crushing disappointment when I realised there would always be someone better. Because Rebecca was always the pretty twin. Who would ever want me?

But that wasn't important right now, what was important was the fact that there was blood dripping from my head, someone was shouting my name and I couldn't feel my baby now at seven months kick like she usually did. Blood dripped from my mouth and all I could remember was a blind sighted panic that seemed to seep through me before I blissfully blacked out to the screaming surrounding me and to a pair of dark brown eyes that nearly seven months ago I had looked into.

Someone was shaking me awake. It took me a second to realise that it was the kind lady next to me. "I think we're going to be landing soon" she whispered next to me and I nodded managing a small thanks and a smile. "Nightmare?" she asked and I nodded deciding to go with that story. In truth I wasn't sure what to classify that dream anymore. It was the one that haunted me at least twice a week and the decision to come home had only intensified the feelings of fear that I was suffering.

God I hated the idea of coming back to La Push, after the accident I had managed to deflect Rebecca long enough for her not to call my Dad and I'd managed to defer my transfer to Hawaii's best college for much the same scholarship. God knows anyone who had seen me at the time wouldn't have minded so much upon seeing the state I was in. I was fortunate enough that Rebecca had only been out of town for the two days I had been under and therefore hadn't had the time to do anything before I was awake and ordering her to listen to me.

For the last four years I had completed my degree while living in Hawaii with my daughter. My angel, Shay Sienna Black. Being a single mom in this climate with no father and college loans and bills to pay meant that money was tighter than ever (and I had been raised with two sibling's and for most of my High School years had I had been raised on a single disabled parent's salary) I shook my head. I had left Shay with my sister, whatever my idiot brother was doing that demanded my presence at home I knew that I didn't want her near it.

I also didn't need her around the other shadier characters of my past. The mistakes I had committed before I had left La Push and people I had left and who had left me. There were certain aspects of the past that I didn't need around my innocent little four year old who still believed in magic and needed me to check under the bed that there were no monsters.

There was a lot that Shay didn't need to know about her mother…at least not yet.

I got off the plane steadfastly ignoring my hands shaking. What with Jacob gone I wasn't sure if my Dad would brave the traffic and come out to see me or if he had one of Jacob's friends do it. My Carry-On item had been a bag containing a laptop and an umbrella and I had only one suitcase. I didn't plan on staying longer than a month at best. And even then a month was far too long. I knew deep down that while I had promised my Dad a month I would be home within two weeks. Realistically three if Jacob still hadn't shown up.

It was Embry Call who was waiting for me. He had been like Jacob's third limb, he and Quill, Jacob's other best friend. He had changed however, gone was the baby fat that had made him so cute and easily likeable as a child and in it's place was hard muscle. His hair was sticking up in places and he had the look of a child who had grown up very quickly and it hadn't been his choice. His face lit up when he saw me and I was slightly amused to see that his eyes ran over me before they snapped back onto my face. I knew that motherhood had made me curvier than I was before but it wasn't the extra weight that I was worried about.

"Rachel" he cried sweeping me up into a hug so tight that I nearly screamed in shock. He spun me around and dropped me back on the floor. Jesus he was burning hotter than the sun in Hawaii in August "Are you feeling alright?" I asked him sceptically as way of a greeting "You're burning up"

Embry grinned looking sheepish, "Yeah" he confessed "Kinda a strange growth spurt, don't worry about…nobody else is" I took the nobody else bit to mean his mother and my father who had been a surrogate father to Embry with pride despite the painful rumours that he was more than a surrogate. I knew about that story and I didn't dwell on it. Such rumours and the people that held them I viewed in open contempt.

I nodded allowing him to pull my bag along. "So why's he disappeared?" I asked. There was no need for Embry to pretend, we both knew exactly what I was talking about. The version I got from my Dad was that it had something to do with Bella Swan the shy girl I remembered faintly from childhood.

"Bella Swan…" at my nod of recognition he continued. "She's getting married and I don't think Jake took it so well…" he trailed off as if trying to find the words to form what had happened in my absence. "Isn't she younger than me?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "Yeah" Embry said grinning "She's eighteen, and he's just graduated too…his names is Edward Cullen and she's madly in love with him, I don't know how Jake ever got his hopes up that she would leave him" he shook his head.

I rolled my eyes I didn't hold to much stock in the beliefs that my Dad held about the Cullen's. Besides I didn't want to judge, God knows that I had had a child when I was that age and didn't marry the father.

"So did he tell you when he was coming back?" I asked trying to keep the irritation out of my voice. Embry threw my bag in the trunk and opened the door. "No" he said cheerfully "But she did invite him to the wedding so I'll imagine he'll rock up for that" he opened the door for me and I slid in trying and failing to pretend that my hands were not shaking. If Embry noticed he was gentleman enough not to mention it.

"I'll drop you off at your Dad's and then I'll leave you to get settled. I think there's gonna be a bonfire in a couple of days so that should be fun" he was filling in for my lack of conversation and God Bless him I loved him for it. I bit my bottom lip managing a smile. "Thanks" I said when the little house came into view. It was exactly like I remembered it, the same slanted roof and the yard and my Dad in his chair watching me. Suddenly I felt self-conscious. I had left home three months pregnant (admittedly unknowingly) and I had returned with a four year old (that admittedly he didn't know about) one of the easiest ways to keep my Dad out of the loop about my pregnancy and spare his judgement was to stop myself from coming home.

In all fairness I never said the plan was a good one.

My Dad had aged since I had seen him last. The worry that Jacob's disappearance had obvious cost him was clear on his face as well as the relief that swept over it upon seeing me. It had been a long time and I could tell he was checking me over to see if there was anything different about the way I look. "Rachel" he said warmly grinning as I bent down and allowed him to hug me. "God I have missed you, you look so grown up"

God my Dad had no idea. "Thanks" I said beaming. "How's your sister?" he asked as I grabbed my bags and waved goodbye to Embry. I turned to stare my heart almost stopping. My Dad shot me a look "She told me you spent the summer up there" he nodded at my look at relief. "Yeah she's doing…" it was hard to find the words that described what my sister was doing "Fine" I said finally "She enjoys working at the gallery" that much was true, Rebecca was working at a gallery in Hawaii and seemed to enjoy it every second.

My Dad nodded as I entered the house. "And you?" he asked raising an eyebrow. I dithered. It was right there, to tell him about Shay but there was something stopping me. Maybe it was the fear that he would press me about what really happened four years ago. Answers to the questions I still wasn't sure I was ready to answer. Not without preparing myself…not until I knew about…him.

"Good" I said finally forcing a smile "Glad to have graduated" my Dad nodded looking thrilled, "I meant to go up and see you but what with everything going on the past year…" he trailed off looking embarrassed and I nodded letting the conversation die.

"Where is he?" I asked finally cutting through the crap. My Dad blinked having the nerve to looking surprised by my questions. He wheeled to the kitchen and began to make himself a cup of tea. "I don't know" he said finally.

"And all of this is over Bella Swan?" I asked sceptically. My Dad sighed again, "I don't know" he said finally. I stared at him incredulously. "Why" I said carefully "Do you not seem more upset about what the hell is going on with Jake?" I asked every word deliberate and slow.

My Dad smiled that small smile at me before dipping his head down so that I couldn't see his face. "Your brother will come home when he wants to" he said finally "It's not my place to tell you what's going on in his head" he smiled again cutting of my furious reply. "I'm just glad your back, I've missed my girls" his tone was so warm and soothing that I couldn't help but smile. It was brittle, I didn't want to forget anytime soon about the subject of Jake but this was also the first time I had seen my Dad in nearly four years.

So yeah, I let it go.

Once I had unpacked, showered and changed into my comfy pair of 'Mommy Jeans' and an old t-shirt that had more holes in it than cloth I set about making dinner my feet bare on the carpet. My Dad had steak and I set about frying it along with some chips I found in the freezer. Yeah…I would have to go shopping.

My Dad hung up the phone just as I was plating up. "Sam Uley and a couple of people are stopping by" he mentioned as we ate "They won't be staying long, they just want to make sure you haven't poisoned me" he said that with a wink and a smiled unable to stop myself. "I heard he and Leah broke up" I mentioned casually. My Dad nodded looking down for a second.

"He's happy now with Emily" he said carefully "And I think one day Leah will find her Happy Ending as well"

I carefully hid my derision. Leah Clearwater had been more Rebecca's friend rather than mine but she didn't seem like the type that would simply wait around for a man to give her happiness. And I did remember Sam mostly as the quiet kid a year older than me with the no-show Dad. God it really had been a long time hadn't it?

I was just washing up when the door opened. "Billy" came a deep voice and a man completely unrecognisable to the Sam Uley I had once known stepped in. he had shorter hair and more muscle and seemed to emit an aura of leadership. The boy next to him also half naked I recognised as Jared Cameron. I swallowed harshly.

"He's next door" I said hiding my shaking hands beneath a dishcloth. Sam nodded flashing me a smile. We hadn't known each other all that well for there to be anything else. Jared beamed showing of his infamous dimples before following.

The door opened again and I turned around glass in hand to see who it was.

The glass shattered on the floor in pieces but I didn't care. Because in the split second all I could see was brown cropped hair and warm skin and hands that I remembered intimately, achingly well. All I could see was dark chocolate brown eyes my favourite shade in the world because for the last four years they had been the eyes of my daughter. Of Shay.

Standing in front of me looking like he had been hit over the head with something heavy, his eyes filled with something that looked like an aching sense of devotion and adoration was Paul Lahote.

The man I had fallen in love with four years ago despite all the reasons not to.

The man I had given everything to four years ago despite all the reasons not to.

The man who I still loved four years later despite all the reasons not to.

The man who had gotten me pregnant four years ago.

Shay's father.

Oh shit.

He was still staring at me with that look on his face that had made me fall in love with him all those years ago, like I was special, like I was meaningful, like I was worth something. I could feel my heart being beating in control again and my hands stopped shaking. It was like my whole body was calming down for the first time since the accident. I knew with painstaking foresight what that meant.

And I knew intimately I would never let myself go through that again.

So please let me know what you think and if this any good.