Pain & Pleasure

Pain

Bella's POV

Stupid.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Why did I do it? I knew not to do it. I knew it would end in this. Of course it would have ended in this. There was no other outcome because I'm me, Bella Swan. There's no way I could have done it and walked away without something aching in pain. That's just how it is.

But still, I did it. Why?

I almost rolled my eyes at myself. I knew why. There was a very obvious reason why I did it.

Because he was the one that told me about all the great benefits. He was the one that told me how free it would make me feel, clear my head of all my crazy thoughts. I tried it because he suggested it.

Had it been any other person, I would have laughed in their face. Tell them they obviously didn't know me well enough. Tell them there was no way in hell that doing this would be beneficial for me.

I took another slow step forward and my body screamed in agony.

Fuck.

This would take a while.

I looked up the sloping hill and glared at the old, grey building that seemed miles away.

Who in their right mind chooses to take a jog at 5:00 in the freakin' morning?!

Him. That beautiful, god-like man that I would pounce if I wasn't certain he would throw me off of him like a diseased animal.

I secretly thanked God that things didn't go according to plan. That I didn't happen to 'accidentally' run into him in the morning while he was taking his daily morning jog so that we could jog together.

We rarely spoke to each other unless we absolutely had to. Just one glimpse of his dazzling green eyes and beautiful bronze hair had my brain turning to mush. I had to always look at my feet when I spoke to him because if I looked up and saw his breath-taking face, I would be rendered unable to form a coherent thought, let alone a response.

It was only about a week ago. We were working on our biology lab reports together. I was having a crazy day to begin with and so when he sat down right next to me in the library, so close that I could feel the heat of him on my skin, my already jumbled thoughts muddled together even more. He was so close. I could feel his breath on my neck and shoulder when he leaned over to say 'hello' and it caused my body to break out in goose bumps.

Just the thought of how close he was to me, how sweet he smelled, made me shiver as my body tingled and throbbed.

He asked me what was wrong and so I told him that I had just been out of it lately, that my thoughts were all over the place. He nodded and understood exactly where I was coming from. Stress from teachers and school got in the way of his work and stress of getting into medical school was always there, eating away at him. He suggested for me to take a jog in the morning because that and playing the piano were the only things he did that actually cleared his mind some.

Seeing as how I was completely inept to anything musical, I chose option A. A nice, morning jog. I probably would have been better off banging my head against a piano than this.

If he saw me now, he would probably laugh in my face and walk away disgusted.

My whole right leg was caked with mud. There was also a bit of blood seeping from the gash from when my calf hit the jagged rock at the bottom of the stupid, slippery hill.

Obviously, I should have taken into account that it had rained during the night and so everything would be wet and slippery.

But my mind had been otherwise occupied. It's not an easy task getting those images of his gorgeous bronze hair, those dazzling green eyes, and those lips that begged to be caressed out of one's mind. Damn near impossible, if you ask me.

Stupid Edward. Always distracting me without even knowing it.

The agony was still sharp but step-after-step, my body was slowly becoming accustomed to the rhythmic spasms of pain. I took slow steps but was quick to bring my right leg forward so that I didn't put too much pressure on the swollen ankle.

It was probably just a sprain. I had hurt myself more than enough times to know that it wasn't broken. If it were broken, I would probably still be sitting there in that pile of mud screaming for help. And with my luck, Edward probably would have been the one to find me.

The mud was still wet and gooey. I could feel it moving down my leg slowly. I hoped it wasn't making its way into my body through the gash on my leg.

Walking up the hill was harder. I needed to put more pressure on my sprained ankle to push myself up the sloped ground.

Ugh, this was ridiculous. I probably looked ridiculous. At least no one in the right mind was awake at this ungodly hour.

If everything went well, I just might be able to make it to my room, grab my things, and hit the shower before a line built up. We had co-ed showers but there were a lot of them so at least I wouldn't be waiting a long time if there was a line.

As I thought about all the worst-case scenarios, something big and wet hit me right smack dab in the middle of my forehead.

I looked up and another came and fell right in my left eye.

Rain? Are you freakin' kidding me?! This one goes down as a worst-case scenario.

I quickened my pace and my body groaned in pain again.

My shirt was white. I refused to be a part in the wet t-shirt contest last year and I wasn't changing my mind now.

When I finally made it to the big wooden door, I pulled with all my strength and slipped in. As it shut, the oldness of it made it groan in protest. They really needed to get that fixed.

And furthermore, this damned old school only had one elevator at the exact opposite end of the campus from where I stood. You would think that seeing as it was a private college with immensely large funds they would invest in the installation of new elevators and grease oil for all the creaking hinges around the school? Nope. They spent all their money on advertising. It was a relatively new school. My class would be the first to graduate. How exciting.

Whatever. It would be quicker for me to just take the stairs.

Leaning against the left banister with all my weight, I started to make my way up the three flights of stairs to my floor.

Each level was in accordance to your grade level. The highest level was for teachers and some alumni that chose to stay on school grounds. The second highest level were for those in their fourth year of undergrad, and it went down from there. The ground level had the Great Hall, the cafeteria, the gym, the labs, and a variety of other rooms. The second level was where the majority of our lectures took place.

When I finally made it to the fourth level, the level for all the second years, I was out of breath and my arms were sore from holding all my weight.

I flashed my card against the laser and the door clicked open. I tugged at the metal door and started to make my way down the long hallway.

Luckily my room was closer to the exit and so I made there quickly. Unluckily, the showers were at the very end of the hall and so I would have to manage to get all the way there without making any loud noises that would probably wake up the entire floor such as my body crashing into a door, a wall, a floor—anything really.

Room 404. I unlocked my door with the room key and tried to make my way inside as quietly as I could. There was a little bit of grayish light seeping through the blinds so I could just barely make out the shapes of objects. The floor however was still black and dark and so I had to feel for my bag of toiletries.

"Shit," I hissed when I hit my toe on the edge of my bed post.

I heard rustling behind me and I spun around quickly.

"Bella?" a groggy voice called out.

"It's just me Alice. I'm going to take a shower," I said as I turned back around to hunt for my stuff.

"What time is it?" she groaned. She was always groggy and disoriented when she woke up but once she washed her face, she was as perky as Lauren Mallory's fake breasts.

"Um, it's probably close to six right now," I answered her a little distracted.

Shit. I needed to hurry up. Most people didn't have class until 8 but some—usually the shallow ones who spent an obnoxious amount of time fixing their hair and make up and picking out their clothes—would wake up around 6 to take a shower.

I needed to hurry. I couldn't have Lauren seeing me when I looked like this. She would have a field day with the rude remarks.

And worst yet, Edward tended to finish his jog around 6. Which meant he would probably hit the showers at 6?

Shit, shit, shit.

I grabbed my towel off my chair and made my way back to the door. Alice was fast asleep again so I closed the door behind me and made my way down the hall.

I kept close to the left wall, using it as support so that I didn't put too much pressure on my ankle. I tried not to make a lot of noise as my hand gripped the doorknob of the closed doors for more support. Hopefully everyone was still fast asleep.

I was getting closer and closer to the showers with each step and my pace quickened when I saw the white fluorescents of the bathroom.

Until I came to room 426. His room. Please, please, please don't be awake.

I grasped the chilled door knob with my left hand and pulled my left sore leg forward, closer to the showers.

And of course, with my great and fabulous luck—please note the heavy sarcasm—the knob turned quickly, the door swung inwards, and I slammed into a hard, warm chest.

"Ohmygosh, I so sorry," I said hurriedly as I tried to right my feet. Oh God, oh God, oh God. Please, please, please don't let it be him. Please tell me it's his roommate. Please be Emmett!

"Bella," I heard a sweet, velvet voice whisper my name.

Fuck.

"Morning Edward… sorry for erm—slamming into you," I said, a warm blush colouring my cheeks.

"It's okay," he replied in that beautiful husky morning voice of his. He stepped back and appraised me completely.

Great, just when I thought it couldn't possibly get any worse.

"Jesus, what happened to you?" he asked, concern etched in those dazzling green eyes I was melting in to.

I looked down and took in my appearance for the first time since I had made it out of the rain.

The rain damped my white shirt in patches and so now my black lace bra was relatively visible to all. There were also speckles of dirt on the right side of my shirt and my right leg was completely caked with mud and blood.

Ugh. Blood. At least the stench of wet mud was strong enough to hide the salty, copper smell of the blood.

"I um, went for a jog and slipped," I answered quietly, speaking to my chest. He's going to laugh at me.

"Oh. I heard the rain earlier so I didn't bother going today. You should have told me you were going, I would have come with you," he said. "But, it's usually really muddy and slippery when it rains," he added.

I gave a small laugh. "Yeah, I figured that out that hard way," I looked up at him and smirked. He grinned.

"You're bleeding, you know?" he said, looking down at my leg again.

"I know, I'm trying to make it to the showers to wash all this crap off of me before the whole floor wakes up."

"I was just going to take a shower myself. I have to go set up the biology lab for the first years," he said stepping out of his room and pulling the door closed behind him.

See, that was the other thing that made Edward Cullen the most sought after guy on campus. Not only was he devilishly handsome, but he was freakishly smart. A genius I tell you! Always at the top of his classes in all of his classes. And seeing as I happened to be right behind him in that aspect (though my social life was the complete opposite to his busy one) we were often paired together in labs and on assignments. Not that I minded. But at the same time, having him so close did tend to make my brain go all fuzzy.

I took a slow step forward and cringed when I remembered that I wasn't gripping the handle for support anymore. With all my weight on my sprain left ankle, my face scrunched up with pain.

And it was noticable enough that he caught it.

Worriedly he asked, "What's wrong?"

"I think I sprained my ankle," I muttered. I hated sprains because it wasn't so painful that you needed to get a cast or anything but it was painful enough that you have to walk really slow and with a limp. Limps caused people to get curious and ask questions. I hated the unnecessary attention from people.

His attention however, was a different case entirely.

He crouched down in front of me and got on his knees to get a better look at my swollen ankle.

I couldn't stop the gasp from my lips. When he got down in front of me, one hand on the ground for support while the other one rested comfortably on my hip, my entire body blazed with fire. It didn't help matters that I had so often fantasized this exact position though his head was a lot closer to my body and we were always in a more private location—usually my bedroom.

I felt his gentle fingers skim across the swollen area and I imagined them skimming over another swollen area of mine.

Stop.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't imagine him like that. Not now. Not here. Not when he was so close to me and I could very easily moan out his name accidentally.

"Yeah, I think it's just a sprain. Though it is swollen pretty badly," he said, looking up at me with those gorgeous bright eyes of his. "But I'm a little more concerned about this cut on your leg. We need to get that leg washed quickly before it gets infected," he said with that doctorly tone of his. He probably picked it up from his father, Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Him and I were well acquainted due to my...physical instability.

He stood up and wrapped his arm around my waist and draped my left arm over his shoulder.

"Try to put most of your weight on me," he said ask we slowly made our way to the showers.

The bathroom and the showers were tiled and usually slippery. Luckily, no one had showered yet and so it was still relatively dry. He helped me walk to one of the shower stalls, sliding the curtain to one side allowing me to step in.

"You think you'll be okay?" he asked, concerned.

I nodded and blushed a little. Maybe I could play it up a bit and get him to shower with me.

Hah! Yeah right. Never in a million years would he agree to that. He had the most beautiful girls throwing themselves at him. He wouldn't ever be interested in me when he's got so much better waiting for him...begging for him.

I sighed. Plain-Jane Bella.

For all I knew, he and Tanya might be a 'thing' again. They had been on and off over the past few months but he always broke up with her when things got serious.

Maybe he was afraid of commitment? Or maybe Tanya wasn't his type?

I scoffed in my head. She was tall, had a gorgeous physique, and a flawless face. I'm sure she was every man's type.

"I'll be over there in that stall," he said pointing at one directly across from mine on the other side of the room.

It was a narrow hall and each wall was line with ten showers. The twenty showers in total were enough to accomodate to all the second years on the floor.

"If you need help or anything, call me, okay?" he asked, his eyes burning with something I couldn't catch because it was gone almost as soon as I made eye contact with him.

"I think I'll be okay," I murmured.

I'll admit, I was a little shocked that he was helping me without even laughing at how silly I probably look right now. I think if the positions were reversed, I wouldn't be able to contain my giggle at the situation. Instead, he was acting so concerned and helpful. It felt...nice. I'd never had someone take such an interest in my well-being before. After my parents divorced, I saw my dad on rare occasions and with my mom being as hay-wired as she is, no one's ever taken care of me like he was.

He nodded his head and turned, walking to the other side of the room and into the shower stall opposite from mine.

I pulled my curtain back and let out a little sigh, hoping to clear my head a little.

Of all the possible people to run in to, it had to be him.

I hooked the shower curtain to the wall so it would stay closed and then pulled my shoes and socks off very slowly. Then I peeled off my wet shirt and my bra and threw them on the bench with my muddy shoes and wet socks. I had to sit down to get my pants off and then I dropped my panties and threw them on the bench along with the rest of my things. Resting my toiletries down and my towel, I turned on the shower and adjusted it to the right temperature.

I sighed and felt my body relax under the hot water. The muddy water dripped down my body, washing away the caked on dirt and swirled around my feet.

I rubbed my hands down my right leg trying to get the mud off my skin. I washed around the wound trying not to inhale too much as the blood seeped from it and swirled and mixed with the muddy water.

When most of the mud had washed off my body, I poured a dollop of my strawberry scented body wash onto my loofah and began to scrub my body.

I felt dirty and gross so I decided I would wash my skin twice. After the first coating of bubbly foam, I rinsed to get rid of all the dirt and sweat and who knows what else that was caked to my body.

I bent down to scrub my feet and wash my swollen ankle gently.

Something red in the water caught my eye. At first I thought it was my 'time of the month' but then I remembered the gash. Before I was able to stop myself, I took an involuntary breath and caught the scent quickly.

It was strong because all the fresh blood that poured out as soon as all the cakey mud had washed away from it.

I groaned loudly as black dots began to cloud my vision. The strong stench of my own blood was making me dizzy. I grabbed the bench as my other hand flew to the wall for support but I wasn't quick enough. My bag of toiletries fell from the bench and hit the tiles loudly, bottles rolling in every direction.

Following my bag was my heavy, woozy body. My knees slammed against the floor first and then my hands and body slapped against the tile. My head rested gently on the cool tile before I lost consciousness…

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