The melancholy of bella swan episode 1: new sos brigade member!
Haruhi sits at her desk tapping her fingers on her cheek out of boredom. Haruhi's face light up, as she grabbed the back of kyon's shirt, causing him to fall backwards on her desk. Kyon started yelling at her "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Haruhi smiles and says, while spinning her finger around(who knows why?) "You were absent yesterday. A stinkin' twilight character TRANSFERRED TO OUR SCHOOL!!" Kyon stands there, his mouth open in shock, with a mad expression on his face because he thinks haruhi might be taking drugs. "What are you talking about?" said kyon, right when haruhi thought he was going to stop talking. Most of the class looked at haruhi and kyon, as haruhi said "BELLA SWAN JOINED THE SOS BRIGADE!" in a happy voice, as she pointed to a girl sitting next to her. By the way, the girl (who was obviously bella), had her hand on haruhi's chair, and she sitting so close to haruhi that nobody noticed. And I think you can figure out where she would move her hand if she thought haruhi would let her. Kyon didn't notice any of this, by the way. He just said "Uh…" and sat down. The class continued their lesson, and images flashed through kyons head. Images of things like bella introducing herself to the class in a similar way haruhi did, saying shes only interested in aliens, time travelers, espers etc. At the end of class, haruhi grabbed kyon again, and said "Okay kyon, sos brigade meeting!!!!", as she pulled his tie and went to the club room. When haruhi got their with kyon, she let go of his tie and looked around the room, her eyes narrowing. Kyon had no idea what she was doing, so they just both sat down at the table. Haruhi then heard extremely loud footsteps that sounded like a girl was jumping up and down while at the same time trying to run to haruhi's clubroom. Mikuru wasn't late, like bella was, and she was making some drink, what drink? Well I don't know. But it seemed to look like chocolate milk. "Why does chocolate milk look so much more yummy and delicious when mikuru makes it?" Thought kyon, as mikuru gave everyone some chocolate milk. The footsteps were getting louder, and they were so loud that mikuru dropped the plate she was holding, and it fell on the floor, but didn't brake. Who knows why? Who cares why? Anyway, The door opened super fast and there was bella, running in extremely fast in the room as if she was late for a meeting with some sort of god or goddess. She was wearing a ponytail, and of course kyon couldn't stop looking at her like an idiot because of it. She was also holding a very pretty dress, and said, with a smile "I GOT A NEW COSTUME FOR MIKURU!! I THINK ITS MUCH CUTER AND MORE MOE THAN ANY OTHER SHE HAS WORN!!!" Expecting haruhi to molest her and try to undress her and force her to wear the costume, mikuru shivered with unnecessary fear. She was very wrong about what she thought. Haruhi just sat at the table reading twilight while bella ran to mikuru and hugged her. Next thing you know, bella is saying "COME ON, MIKURU CHAN!! TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND PUT ON THESE!!" while trying to strip mikuru and pull her dress off. Blah blah blah. Even kyon didn't notice because he was too busy staring at bella's hair like an idiot. Haruhi continued to read for several minutes when mikuru was suddenly wearing a very cute moe dress, Extremely similar to alice-chan's. (in my personal opinion, it is only moe when alice wears it.) Anyway, you know how retarded kyon is, and can't control himself in public, so he started showing all of the signs of an aroused male, just like whenever mikuru is in the same stinkin' universe as him. Haruhi put a bookmark in her book and looked at mikuru chan "Where did you get that dress, mikuru-chan?" "Stop pretending not to notice that bella just molested her." Thought kyon. Bella smiled "Well you see haruhi, I just came in here with it and took her clothes off, so im the one who got the dress." "Stop pretending not to notice that haruhi is pretending not to notice that you just molested mikuru." Thought kyon. "I got it from alice-chan." Haruhi smiled "What did you do, steal it?" Bella laughs "Of course not, you silly head!" Haruhi smiled again. "Okay. Anyway, were going to look for aliens today. (She never found out how bella got the dress hehe…)While walking with the rest of the sos brigade out of the school, haruhi made a list of nicknames.
Jacob=jake-kun
Bella=suzua-chan (suzu means bell in Japanese.)
Alice=alice-chan
Edward=Edtango-kun (tango means word in Japanese)
Haruhi just put the list in her purse, and continued looking for aliens.
"Okay everyone, Were going to split up!" said haruhi, walking toward a restaurant.
Haruhi held out a hat that pieces of paper in it. She walked into the restaurant, holding it in her hand. The sos brigade sat at a table and haruhi said "Everyone picks a paper from this hat telling them who their partner is. I go first." Haruhi picked a paper from the hat that said "Mikuru" on it. Bella started crying "I WANT TO BE HARUHI'S PARTNER!!" Haruhi threw the hat in the trash, causing kyon to say "Uh, haruhi…" haruhi ignored him, and said "Okay. Im with bella. Kyon is with mikuru because he likes her. Itsuki is with yuki because neither of them care who they are with. Okay. Now we will order food so we don't starve to death." Haruhi turned around "Uh…waiter?" The waiter passed by her. She got mad, turned to the sos brigade, and said "I'll get him this time, don't worry." Several minutes, haruhi was saying things to the waiter and yelling to get his attention.
"Er…waiter?"
"Waiter dear?"
"Hey wait a second, waiter, waiter!!"
"WAIIITTTTTTEEEER!!!!!"
It turns out the waiter was kyon's cousin. Not until she said "WAITER, I HAVE PICTURES OF KYONKO WITH A PONYTAIL!!!" did the waiter notice her and come to the table. She also had to flip to the page in the twilight book wear Bella was wearing a ponytail, and shove it in his face. The waiter said "What would you all like?" It took hours for them to order their food, due to haruhi's constantly changing her mind. They ate their food, and haruhi realized bella was missing from the table. She didn't seem to care…much. Well, it turns out that bella had a teleportation device, and teleported to forks. She looked around for aliens at forks, on account of "I swear I saw an alien here once!" thought bella. She looked around and saw jake-kun, ran to him, grabbed his shirt, and pressed the button on her teleportation device. She opened the door to the restaurant and found out the sos brigade was done eating. She went outside and saw haruhi standing in the middle of the sidewalk, looking for her. She ran to haruhi and said "Haruhi! I found an alien!" Jake-kun's eyes widened in shock "Er…alien?!" Haruhi put her thumb down, and said "That's just jake-kun, bella." Bella smiled "But you have to admit he looks like an alien!" Haruhi frowns "But he isn't" Bella smiles again "Okay! I will go look for one!" several minutes later, bella returned with Edward. "This guy looks like an alien." Edward almost laughed. Haruhi said "Hes not an alien, believe it or not." Bella got frustrated "Okay, now I will find a REAL alien!" said bella as she ran away. She came back later with alice, and said "Shes an alien." Haruhi looked pleased "You found one!" Haruhi turns around facing kyon, itsuki, yuki, and mikuru. She then said "You oughta be ashamed of yourselfs! Look, bella has very little experience searching for aliens and it only took her 3 tries to find an alien! You all have been searching for aliens for over a year and you never found an alien!!"
End of episode 1
Bonus: Dress explaination
Bella-chan liked alice-chans dress and they exchanged outfits. However, bella thought mikuru would look cute in it, and that its better than any stupid retarded maid or nurse outfit out there. Therefore, bella decided to let mikuru wear it. Just thought I would let you know