Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama, it belongs to Fresh TV (lucky bastards). I do own the 26 contestants that appear in this story. With that out of the way, let's begin!
P.S.: This is a re-upload of the previous version, no real changes, except here it'll be published in one whole chapter, not in two parts like on DeviantArt.
P.P.S.: If you read this, can yopu please give a review. Part of the reason this was re-uploaded was because I felt this was ignored.
The camera opens up on an island in Canada that up close looked like a summer camp. The camera then shows various regions of the island, such as the mountains, lake, beach and finally, the campgrounds. The campsite looked basic enough. There were three cabins, one slightly larger and nicer cabin, a large restroom, and a dining area. The door to the dining area swung open to reveal a pile of semi-expired meat crawling away as a large, middle-aged black man chased after it.
The camera then moved to the dock. Stranding there was a man in his late-20's with jet-black hair and eyes, a slight tan, and a five-o-clock shadow. The man wore a teal short-sleeved oxford shirt over a long-sleeved white T-shirt, khaki pants, brown sandals and a seashell necklace. The man wore a proud smile on his face as he awaited the start of his show, ready for another summer of humiliating teenagers who were desperate for their fifteen minutes of fame. The man turned front and center to the camera, and began to speak in a voice that wouldn't be out-of-place for a surfer.
"Yo," he exclaimed, "Chris McLean here, ready for yet another season of Total Drama! As you can see we've relocated to a new island, that conveniently was also a summer camp at one point. You all should be familiar to the rules by now. Teenagers compete, yadda yadda yadda, losers most vote someone off the island and can't come back, yadda yadda yadda, last one standing wins a million big boys."
Chris paused for a minute to regain his breath. "This season, though, we're shaking things up a bit. Over the break, there was a change in management, and our new producer wanted the series to have a more educational theme to it. So, this season, not only do we have new contestants, the first letters of their names all begin with a different letter of the alphabet. In addition, the challenges this season also have a bit of a letter theme."
"Um, Mr. McLean?" Said a young voice. The camera then turned to a young man with red hair, blue eyes and glasses. He wore an unzipped green hoodie over a grey T-shirt, blue slightly-worn jeans and black shoes.
"Ugh," Chris moaned. "What is it Brandon?"
"It's Brian, sir," Brian stammered. "I wanted you to know the contestants will be here any minute, but the challenge isn't finished."
"Well, hurry it up! Geez, I knew I shouldn't have hired a teenager as my assistant. I'll stall them, but you better be done when we get to the challenge area, or you're fired!"
"Yes, sir!" Brian squeaked as he ran back into the forest.
"Now where was I?" Chris asked himself. "Oh yeah, the contestants. We have 26 weirdos to introduce, all in alphabetical order. Here comes the first one. Meet Austin!"
Austin was a tanned, muscular boy with dark hair, green eyes and a cocky grin. He wore an orange shirt with red pants with grey shoes.
"Hello, Mr. McLean," said Austin, "Austin Andross, here and ready to begin the competition."
"Do you have a strategy in mind?" Chris asked.
"I plan on allying with the strongest competitors, the ones that deserve to make it far."
"Cool. Now just take your things, and stand on the end of the dock." As Austin did so, Chris muttered something akin to "Roid Monkey" under his breath.
The next boat appeared along with a pale, athletic-looking young man, with dark hair and brown eyes. He wore a navy football jersey with the number 2 on it with black jeans and shoes. The young man wore a scowl on his face.
"Bryce!" Chris introduced. "S'up, buddy?"
"Bite me," Bryce replied as he made his way towards the end of the dock.
"Hey," said Austin. "Y'know, you look like a tough guy, I bet we'd work well together."
"Hey, man, it's cool if your gay and all, but I'm not."
Austin gained a blank look on his face as Bryce sat down on the edge of the dock, listening to his music.
The third boat arrived carrying a tanned girl with wild blonde hair. She wore a camo top with cargo shorts and brown shoes.
"CeCe!" Chris began. "How's it hanging?"
"Pretty good, Chris," CeCe replied. As CeCe made her way to the end of the dock she waved to Austin and Bryce, the former of whom waved back.
Boat #4 had another girl on board. She was a pale red-head with green eyes. The girl wore a cyan tube top with matching skirt and white flats. The girl bounced off onto the dock to introduce herself.
"HI! I'm Danielle Davis, but most people call me Danni. I'm a huge fan of reality TV, such as Big Brother, The Amazing Race, Survivor, The Challenge, and of course, Total Drama! I've wanted to compete since season 1, and now I am! Isn't this exciting?!"
The other three teens stood silently trying to process what had just happened.
"Danni," Chris said, "I like your enthusiasm and all, but please stop talking and go to the others."
As Danni did so, she turned to CeCe and gasped. "Hey," she began, "Aren't you CeCe Cornell, the star of that survival show?"
"Yup," CeCe replied. "I'm the star of Survival Girl, but this year, I'm just CeCe, the teenager."
"Cool!"
The fifth boat arrived just then. The teen that came from it was a blond man with blue eyes. He wore a green polo shirt with purple shorts.
"Hey, Erik," Chris greeted. "You claimed to be a master strategist in your audition. You plan to back that up?"
"Of course," Erik replied with confidence.
The sixth boat contained a bald black girl in a pink shirt with navy sweatpants and black flats. She was currently on her cell phone texting.
"Fiona, what's hanging?" Chris asked. Fiona continued texting, ignoring Chris, who kept calling her name. Eventually, he just smacked the phone out of her hands, causing it to fall into the water.
"Hey!" Fiona yelled. "The hell was that for?"
"Introduce yourself to the nice people over there," Chris said as he pointed towards the teens. Danni was waving hello.
"Ugh, fine. I'm Fiona, and I was in the middle of texting my friend until someone had to mess with me." She then made her way to the end of the dock, pulling out another phone, and continued texting.
Chris sighed in annoyance as the next boat arrived carrying a black boy wearing a red shirt, blue shorts, white shoes and a happy grin.
"Hi, I'm Greg," he said. The boy made his way around the dock, shaking hands or high-fiving most of the campers.
The next boat carried a very attractive Japanese girl. She wore a black tube top, Daisy Dukes, and grey sandals. The most noted part of her was her large, ahem, chest. The boys (even Bryce) all stopped and stared for a little bit, while the girls glared in annoyance.
"Hitomi!" Chris greeted. "What's going on?"
"Nothing much," she replied. She then gave a coy look to the blushing Erik and Greg. "Glad to know I'm already making a good first impression."
She gathered her things and shashayed towards the dock, particularly where Bryce was sitting.
"Hey," she greeted as she sat down, Bryce gave a nonchalant nod as he tuned her out.
The next camper was a tall atletic black girl with short hair. She wore a white hoodie with pink pants and grey shoes.
"Hi," she greeted. "I'm Imogenn."
"Hey," Austin greeted back. "I'm Austin. So, are you some kind of athlete?"
"Yep. I do hockey, baseball, softball, basketball, wrestling and track. I'm also an honor student. My dad calls me a jack of all trades."
The next camper was a pale youth with brown hair and black eyes. He wore a blue shirt with black pants and blue sneakers.
"Jack, s'up?" Chris asked.
"Eh," Jack replied. He then walked to the end of the dock.
The next camper was a bespectacled Latina girl with brown hair and eyes. She wore a red T-shirt with blue skinny jeans.
"Yo," she greeted. "I'm Katarina. When do we start?"
"When everyone else arrives," Chris replied.
As Katarina moved down the dock, the twelfth camper arrived. He was a blonde youth with green eyes. He wore a cyan polo shirt with khaki shorts and green shoes.
"Lance, my man," Chris greeted exchanging a high five with the boy. "What's up, bro?"
"Nothing much, just ready for the game." Lance then moved down the dock, giving Hitomi a wink, which she returned.
The next camper was a tanned blonde girl with blue eyes and pierced ears wearing a white sundress. with white flats. She gave a bright smile as she descended gracefully onto the dock.
"Greetings," she said in a honey-sweet voice. "My name is Mary Sue. I everso hope we all become friends during our time together." As she made her way through the teens, the next boat arrived. This one contained a spikey-haired boy that looked similar to Mary Sue (same eyes, same face, though his was more masculine, same height), wearing a black shirt and acid-washed jeans with a chain.
"Nolan!" Mary Sue exclaimed happily as she rushed to hug the boy, though he looked a little unhappy with the gesture, partially because she was suffocating him with her vice-like grip.
"You know him?" Asked CeCe.
"Is he your boyfriend?" Greg asked, hoping the answer was "no".
"No, silly, this is my younger twin brother, Nolan!" MS replied, loosening her grip on her brother, allowing him to slip out of her grasp and breathe.
"Mary," Nolan spoke, "Your here?" Oh, joy..., he sarcastically thought to himself.
"Isn't that a bit unfair?" Bryce asked.
"Wouldn't be Total Drama if it was fair," replied Danni.
"Yeah, we're brother and sister," Nolan spat, "Big whoop, now can we get on with this?"
"Just move to the end of the dock," Chris replied.
The next boat carried an Asian boy wearing a green hoodie with black shorts, and black and white shoes, strumming an acoustic guitar.
"Oliver," Chris began, "you're a musician. Got any tunes you wanna play."
"Working on one right now," Oliver replied. "Should be done by the end of the day."
As he went to the end of the dock, the sixteenth contestant arrived. He was a pale boy with dark brown hair and blue eyes, wearing a white muscle shirt and red shorts. He eyed the girls very closely as he walked off the boat.
"S'up, honies?" He greeted, primarily towards the girls. "I'm Pietro, but you can call me the man of your dreams. He walked with swagger to CeCe, who put her hand in the air, as if to ward him off. "Not happening."
The next boat dropped of a tanned girl with glasses wearing a teal sweater and plaid skirt with knee-high socks and white flats. She was buried into a copy of "The Great Gastby".
"Quinterie," Chris said, "put the book down, and introduce yourself.
"Fine," she responded. "I'm Quinterie, and I like to read. There, happy?"
"Very."
The next boat carried off a strong-looking Latino man with spikey hair and pierced eyebrows wearing a grey muscle shirt and blue jeans.
"Russell," he said as he made his way to the back.
"Hey, handsome," Hitomi purred. Russell stayed silent, not even bothering to acknowledge her. "The strong, silent type?" Hitomi asked. "I like that."
"You may like the next contestant too," said Chris. "It's Sylvia!"
Sylvia was a short white girl with red hair and glasses. She wore a black shirt with a green mushroom from Mario, with pants that had the Halo logo on them and shoes with "SEGA" printed on the sides. In her hands was a Nintendo 3DS, playing Mario Kart.
"C'mon, c'mon," she said focusing on her game. "Crap, Spiny Shell! Curse you, Luigi!"
"Ugh," Chris moaned. "You teens today and your technology."
Sylvia put her 3DS away, as she went to greet the campers.
"Hi, I'm Sylvia Shayne" she said. Mostly everyone greeted her back in response.
Chris sighed. Why did he agree to so many kids this year. This was gonna be a long summer. Fortunately, one of the last teens was arriving. He was a bespectacled blond wearing a yellow shirt and purple pants with sandals.
"Hey, I'm Trev," he introduced himself. "Can't believe I'm here, man."
"I know, right?" Danni asked excitedly.
"Well, you are, Trev," Chris said.
The next boat contained an Indian boy with blue hair, no shirt at all, blue jeans and brown shoes.
"Ugo," Chris begun, "you claim to be the best Total Drama player ever."
Ugo scoffed. "I don't claim to be, I AM!"
Bryce coughed, mumbling something akin to "douchebag", unfortunately Ugo heard it, and got in Bryce's face.
"Excuse me? Just who do you think you're talking to?"
"A dead man if he doesn't back off."
"That's it, sporto, you asked for it!" Ugo turned to everyone and loudly spoke. "Everyone, I command you all to vote off, uh, what's your name?"
"Bryce."
"Bryce! He has offended the greatest Total Drama player ever, and he must pay for his insolence!"
"Sure," said Sylvia sarcastically. "We'll get right on that."
"See to it that you do." Ugo replied, oblivious to the sarcasm.
The next camper was a pretty girl with dark hair and blue eyes. She wore a long-sleeved black shirt with blue shorts and 1/2 in. heels.
"Vanessa," Chris said, "you're a matchmaker, right? Any potential couples?"
"Yes, yes I am," she replied. "And no, these things take time, but you and Chef do come to mind..."
"Okay, forget I asked!" Chris yelled with his face turning red in embarrassment.
The next boat dropped off a white-haired girl in a pink dress.
"Whitney, girl, how you doing?" Chris asked.
"I've been better. I haven't spent this long away from Jake, but I think I can manage."
"Oh," said a deflated Pietro. "Jake's your BF, huh?"
"No, he's my son."
The teens mouths dropped.
"I'm sorry, does that bother you?" Whitney asked.
"Of course not," Mary Sue replied. "I love kids! Oh, I'm Mary Sue, by the way!"
"Whitney," she replied shaking MS's hand.
The next camper was another girl. She was a blonde girl with green eyes. She wore a black halter top with blue skinny jeans and sneakers, with large headphones hanging around her neck.
"Hello, Total Drama," she yelled excitedly. "DJ Xanthie here, ready to make this a summer-long party to remember!"
"Awesome!" yelled Danni.
The second-to-last boat dropped off yet another girl. She was a strong-looking Asian girl with dyed crimson hair and had a scowl on her face. She wore a forest green top and black pants with combat boots.
"Listen, dilholes," she sneered. "I'm Yvette, and if you get in my way, I'll crush you. Got it!"
The other contestants nodded, some more intimidated than others.
The final boat dropped off a black boy dressed in a green shirt and blue jeans.
"Hi, I'm Zach!" he greeted.
"And I am done with introducing you guys!" Chris exclaimed. "Now, not too far from us is the confessional. Why don't you all go in and give us your thoughts.
Confessional: It begins!
Austin: So, this is the confessional, huh? Well, after getting to look at my competition, I can tell there are some who I know I can work with, and some who need to leave ASAP.
Bryce: Well, so far, this sucks, but if I'm gonna be here a while, I might as well get used to it. Besides, maybe here, people can finally recognize me as a true competitor.
CeCe: I've travelled all over the world, and have had to live in some pretty dangerous places. Total Drama doesn't got jack on the Philippines during the monsoon season.
Danni: So, now that I've got my energy out of me, I can say that this will be a good summer, and I can't wait to plan out my game moves!
Erik: This game has far too many floaters in it. Hell, almost all of the winners have made it to the end without doing anything. I think it's time somebody fixed that.
Fiona (still texting): This island so far has some decent Wi-Fi.
Greg: Hi, Mom and Dad!
Hitomi: Hmm, so many boys, so little time. I wonder who will fall first to my charms. (giggles deviously)
Imogenn: I can't wait for the challenge to start! Austin? Yeah, he's cool, but I'm not here for romance, I'm here to win!
Jack: Everyone says I quit pretty much everything I've done. Well, not this time!
Katarina: Y'know, every vote in this game counts, so I'll just need to be in control at all times.
Lance: So far, so good. Those dweebs won't know hit them by the time I'm through.
Mary Sue: I've succeeded in everything I've ever done, and everyone likes me! Well, except Nolan. The main reason I signed up was because he did, and I figured this could be a good way for us to reconnect.
Nolan (punches the wall): Just freakin' great! You producers just had to bring Ms. Perfect-and-Wonderful here, didn't you? Now my chances at finally being noticed have sunk. Thanks a lot...
Oliver (strumming his guitar): Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine...
Pietro: Man, all these pretty girls! It's a dream come true!
Quinterie: I'm not much of a talker, I'm more of a reader. I didn't even know I was signed up for this! I was too busy with my Hunger Games book!
Russell: In shows like these, it never pays well to be the biggest personality. So, I'll just keep my conversations to a minimum.
Sylvia: Man, this is nerve-racking! I'm no good with people, that's why I play video games!
Trev (is peeing): Ohhh, yeahhh... Wait, is that a camera? Fuu...
Ugo: This game will be a walk in the park. And you wanna know why? 'Cause I'm the greatest Total Drama player ever. If I tell these peons to jump, they'll jump. If I tell them to vote themselves off, they'll vote themselves off. Why? I'm just that good.
Vanessa: Some many different personalities here. I know I'll have fun paring people off!
Whitney: I know, I'm a teen mother, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person. I've just made a few dumb decisions. But I love my son, and I'm doing this for him.
Xanthie: Wassuuuuuuuup?!
Yvette: Hm, monsters, every last one of them. They're judging me right now, and ya know what? Screw 'em! They'll all pay for tormenting me, every last one of them...
Zach: Wow, the confessional! Man, this is big, I can't believe I'm here. I just hope my secret doesn't get out- I mean, what secret?
" ," called a voice from Chris's walkie-talkie.
"Ah, Blair, challenge ready?"
"Affirmative. And, my name is Brian."
"Don't care, Brook, we'll be there in 10. McLean out." Chris turned to the teens, who had overheard the conversation, and were eager to begin the challenge.
"Now, if you'll just follow me to the woods..." Chris began, but was cut off by Greg.
"Wait, Chris, before we begin the challenge, can we get a bite to eat?" Several contestants voiced agreement.
"Fine," said Chris. He spoke into his walkie-talkie, "Bobby, hold off on the challenge, the campers are gonna eat first."
"Those poor souls," replied Brian.
As the teens walked towards the Mess Hall, Chris turned towards the camera and began to speak. "Well, there you have it! 26 new teen freakazoids here for the million dollars, and getting ready for there first challenge. Who will win? Who will lose? Found out when we come back from the break on Total Drama Alphabattle! Yeah, I like the sound of that name."
The camera then faded to black, ending the first half of the episode.
The camera opened back up to show the teenagers waiting in line for their food. The Mess Hall wasn't bad-looking by any means. It was just basic-looking. There were plenty of chairs and tables to sit on. The kitchen looked clean, despite the fact that the food there was terrible. Their server was a tall, middle-aged black man who looked rather fit for his age. He wore a yellow shirt, green pants, brown combat boots and a chef's hat with apron. This was Jerome Hatchet, better known as "Chef".
"Listen up," he boomed in his voice that reminded some of the teens of a drill instructor. "I serve it three times a day, and you will eat it three times a day. Now, grab yo' trays, get yo' food, and sit your butts down NOW!"
The contestants did so, too afraid to ask a question, or make a snarky comeback. And contrary to however Oliver might've tried to defend himself, he did in fact pee himself a little. After Greg got his food, all of the teens were served, allowing Chef to return to his room which was conveniently in the Mess Hall, where he sat down and turned on the TV, which was airing a soap opera.
"No, Cassidy," he cried. "That isn't Michael, that's his twin brother Jordan, disguising himself as Michael!"
"Way to spoil, man!" Yelled Erik from the dining area. "I missed all last week, and now I can't watch because you spoiled me!"
"You heard him?" Hitomi asked.
"You watch that show?" Sneered Ugo.
"SIT YO' BUTTS DOWN!" Chef yelled.
The teens took their foods, and spread out to find seats.
Bryce took a seat in the far back, kicking his feet up on an empty chair, twirling his "food" around. It was a bit lonely, but Bryce didn't mind. He preferred to work by himself, if needed. But, he knew in a game like this, you needed friends, or at least allies.
Well, at least the team isn't here. He thought to himself. "There's that I guess."
"Hey," said a voice from behind him. Bryce turned to see that it was Lance.
"Oh, hey, Lance, was it?"
"Yeah," The blonde boy replied. "Mind if I sit with you." Bryce shrugged, which Lance took as a "yes".
"So," Lance began, "Your a jock, right?"
"Yeah," said Bryce.
"What sport?"
"Football."
"Position?"
"QB."
"Nice!" Lance grinned. "You must be Mr. Popular back home."
"Not really," Bryce said with a scowl. "I'm the back-up quarterback. I only fill in when the "star" of the team is sick or some junk. Usually, I'm just a benchwarmer."
"Oh," Lance frowned, though not in sympathy. Man, this guy was a loser! Still, he knew better than to vocalize these thoughts. "Well, maybe you'll be more than just a benchwarmer here. Hell, how about you and I start an alliance."
Bryce frowned. "But we've just met. I just told you one thing about me, and I don't know anything about you."
"So," Lance countered. "As partners, we'll get to know a lot about each other. And besides, in a game like this you need help. You didn't have the best first impression on the dock. And even if your strong, it's the ones who don't fit in that get cut first. So, what do you say?" He stuck his hand out waiting for a shake.
Bryce thought for a minute. Something about this seemed off. Lance was giving off a bad vibe, but Bryce thought that about near everyone, so that was nothing. Eventually, he sighed and shook the other boy's hand.
"You've got a deal," Bryce said. "But, don't try anything funny. I've got my eye on you."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
Confessional: I dream of many things.
Bryce: So, 30 minutes into the game, and I already have an alliance? I'll work with Lance, but I don't trust him 100% yet. Hell, I don't trust anyone in this game.
Lance (he's throwing a tennis ball at the side of the confessional): So, Bryce doesn't fully trust me, eh? Well, he shouldn't! You see, my plan in the game is to ally with people, then backstab them as soon as I can. All the great players have made at least one big backstab. Heather to Lindsay; Courtney to Justin; Alejandro to Duncan; Scott to Mike; those were huge! But, I plan to top them, just you wait. (Instead of catching the ball, he clenches his fist, allowing the ball to hit him in the face) Ow!
At another table, Mary Sue, Greg, Nolan, Whitney and Russell were talking. Well, Mary Sue was talking, Greg and Whitney were listening, Nolan was scowling and Russell was observing the competition. If his plan to stay under-the-radar was to work, he needed to keep an eye out for anyone who could be a problem for him.
"And that's how I won my fifth consecutive science fair!" Mary Sue said, finishing her story. Greg and Whitney clapped for her.
"Wow," Exclaimed Greg, "I didn't know you could do that with plastic! You're really smart, you know that?"
"It was nothing," Mary Sue said modestly while blushing and rubbing the back of her head with her left hand.
"Don't be so modest," Greg replied.
"Wow, Nolan," Whitney said to the younger twin, "You must be really proud to have such a talented sister."
"Like you wouldn't believe," Nolan replied sarcastically. No one seemed to notice the tone in his voice other than Russell, though.
"So," Mary Sue began, "You guys have heard enough about me, what about you? Who are Greg, Whitney and Russell?"
"Not much to tell," said Russell. "I live with my dad, have a dog, play soccer, that's all there is to me."
"As you know, I'm a teen mother," said Whitney, "but I also like drawing, reading and spending time with my boyfriend."
"Would this be the same guy that knocked you up?" Asked Nolan, getting a look from his sister for his lack of tact.
"Yep. Xander, that's his name by the way, has been fully supportive of me and Jake. It's been hard for us, but we make do."
Mary Sue awed. "That's so sweet! I wish I had a boyfriend."
"I'm just a normal guy," said Greg. "I live with my parents, like to play video games, hang out with my friends, get A's and B's on my report card, nothing major. Unlike you, Mary Sue."
"Hey, I'm nothing special." Mary Sue blushed. "Really, I'm not."
"That's not true," said Whitney. "You're one of the most interesting people I've ever met."
Nolan couldn't take it anymore. It was school and home all over again! He took his tray, emptied it, and stormed out of the Mess Hall.
"Rude," Whitney frowned.
"Are you sure you're related?" Russell asked Mary Sue.
"Hey!" Mary Sue frowned. "Nolan's a good guy, he's just a little temperamental, that's all."
"A little?" Russell replied.
Confessional: Well, he is the little brother.
Nolan: Isn't this great? Mary Sue's already the toast of the town, despite doing nothing and I'm ignored again.
Mary Sue: I wonder what caused Nolan to be so angry. He can be a bit irritable, but it's never for no reason.
Greg: Wow, Mary Sue is so perfect! Beautiful, intelligent, strong, sweet, the whole package!
Whitney: I hope my son grows up to be as amazing as Mary Sue!
Russell: Very interesting relationship those two have. Maybe I can use their tension as a way to cover myself from votes.
In another table, Austin and Imogenn were discussing about their lives. Austin was the oldest of three brothers, was an honor student, and was captain of his school's baseball team and chess club. Imogenn was an only child, and was on her school's basketball team. Currently, she was describing their championship game.
"I was dribbling the ball, and the other team was all over me, trying to get it. I noticed the timer was nearing zero, and I was near the hoop, so I went for it."
"Did you make it?" Asked Austin.
"No," she said sadly. "I missed; they got the ball and scored the winning basket."
"That must've sucked."
"Yeah. But we didn't mind. We were really happy to just make it there! And we had a lot of fun, so no point in getting upset."
"Ah."
"Ahem!" Coughed a snide voice. When they turned to see who was calling their attention, they saw it was Ugo, who was grinning his usual foul grin.
"Move aside, lesser people. The greatest player ever requires a place to sit. Be honored that I chose to sit with you. Now, you are my alliance-slaves, and will do whatever I ask of you. You are to also call me "Master" or something like that. If you disobey me, you will face the consequences. Any questions?"
"Yeah," Imogenn said with a frown. "Who do you think you are? All you've been doing since you got here is going around acting like your God's gift to the Earth, but your not. You're an asshole, and I don't want anything to do with you. And neither does he, right Austin?"
"Yep," he confirmed, trying to eat his "food" and not exactly succeeding.
"Um, excuse me," said Erik as he walked up to the feuding teens. "Can I sit here?"
"Sure," said Austin.
As Erik did so, Ugo got angry again. These idiots dared to deny him, the greatest Total Drama player ever, but would hang out with this shrimp? This would not stand!
"Hey!" He yelled. "Why can this loser sit here, but not me, the greatest Total Drama player ever!"
"Because unlike you," Austin said with a scowl, "He asked nicely, and isn't completely irritating. Besides, so what if he's not the strongest?"
"But, you're a Social Darwinist!" Ugo replied. "You have to think guys like this runt can't last in this world."
"I'll have you know," Erik said indignantly, "that I am a free runner, and I graduated as my class's Valedictorian. I am not a "runt", as you call me.
"There you go," said Austin. "Besides, your view of Social Darwinism is very misguided. Being physically fit, which you admittedly are, does not make you worthy. You also need to have the brains to succeed in the real world, which I believe Erik has."
"Thank you," replied Erik. Ugo had enough with this conversation and stormed off.
Confessional: More like the Lamest Total Drama player ever.
Austin: I hate people who act like Social Darwinism is all about just being strong. It's a very idiotic viewpoint, and I aim to prove it wrong on this show.
Imogenn (sighs in annoyance): God, that guy is so annoying! He's like my teammate Ra'Quel. Acts like they're the biggest thing ever, when really they're all talk! He's got my vote if he's on my team and we lose.
Ugo (punches his left palm with his right hand): Ugh, why isn't anyone listening to me and letting me dominate them like they should be! I'm the greatest Total Drama player ever, and I deserve to be treated as such, Goddammit!
Erik (looks thoughtful): It was nice of those two to stick up for me. But I'm not interested in playing the game with them. They've been stuck like glue since they met, and are probably aligned already. Can't risk being the third wheel.
At another table, Danni and CeCe were talking. Danni was a fan of CeCe's show, and was so excited to get to know her.
"So," Danni begun, "Favorite movie?"
"The Blue Lagoon. Favorite TV show?"
"Total Drama, duh. Though I do like Degrassi as a guilty pleasure. Favorite location that you were in?"
"Hard choice. I'd guess The Amazon. The wildlife was simply amazing."
"Hey, CeCe?" Danni asked.
"Yeah, Dan?"
"Do you want to be in an alliance?"
"You mean, like, voting together and stuff?"
"Yeah, but we'd also make sure that each other is safe from the vote. What do you say?"
"Hm," CeCe thought. She knew she'd be getting some offers for alliances, but not this early. And she had no idea that sweet, hyperactive Danni could want to play the game. Nevertheless, from what she knew of the excitable redhead, she was nice enough, and who knows, maybe they'd make the top 2.
"I'm in," CeCe said, shaking Danni's hand.
Confessional: Why doesn't anyone ask me to join their alliance?
CeCe: Yeah, it's only Day 1, and I'm not sure if we'll be on the same team, but I get good vibes off of Danni. Plus, she's a fan, and I love to give the fans what they want.
Danni: Eeiii! CeCe Cornell actually aligned with me! This is even better then when Fabio won Survivor: Nicaragua!
Outside the Mess Hall, Pietro slicked his hair back as he swaggered up to Quniterie, who was in the middle of "The Chronicles of Narnia".
"Hey, babe," he said in what he hoped was a seductive tone. "Why don't you put the book down, and take a look at something even better." Pietro wiggled his eyebrows up and down to emphasize his meaning. However, it was for not, as Quinterie seemed to absorbed into her book. Pietro sulked off to the stairs, where Oliver was sitting.
"Ow, man," Oliver said sympathetically. "That must've sucked."
"Yeah," said Pietro sadly.
"Why are you obsessed with these girls, anyway?"
"Well, my friend, I've always wanted a girlfriend. And hook-ups happen on this show a lot, so I figured it'd be a good idea."
"Ah. Well, good luck to you."
"Hey, Oliver," said Pietro.
"Yeah?"
"Do you got an eye on any of the girls here?"
"Nah, none of them are my type."
"Oh. Well, more for me! I'mma go see if Fiona's interested!"
Pietro walked off, waving bye, which Oliver returned, chuckling.
He's a strange one. Oliver thought to himself. But, I like strange...
Confessional: Do you like to tame strange?
Pietro (he has a slap mark on his face): Well, Fiona was a bust too. Apparently, she doesn't like it when you say something's more important than technology. Oliver is alright, though. I think he's the only friend I have out here, so far.
Fiona (she's texting the whole time): Ugh, Pietro is such a creep! Take a hint, poser!
Oliver (strumming his guitar): Pietro may be a bit of a perv, but he isn't a bad guy. He just needs to chill out a bit.
Quinterie: Was Pietro flirting with me? And I was too busy reading to pay attention? Oh, not again! And he was actually one of the cute ones!
Behind the Mess Hall, Sylvia, Hitomi and Vanessa were talking.
"So," Vanessa said. "Lots of cute boys here, right? Any you two in particular like? I am a matchmaker after all. I can set you up!"
"I don't know," Sylvia said shyly. "I'm kinda ignored by the boys back home. I'm too geeky for them, apparently."
"Shocker," Hitomi snarked. "I'm not into one particular guy. In fact, my goal here is to get with every one of them by the end of the summer. If I'm lucky, I'll get lucky tonight."
"I see," Vanessa said evenly. She could be a problem...
Confessional: Total Drama Hook-Up!
Sylvia (sighs as she plays her game): If I did want a boy, he'd have to be as hot as Link, cool as Sonic, mysterious as Ezio, and nice as Crash. But, I don't think I'll be finding him anytime soon...
Hitomi: Am I slut? Yeah, but who cares? I mean, it's my body after all. Besides, I have some standards. If he's taken or gay, than he's off limits. I'm not really looking for love, just a good time.
Vanessa: Girls like Hitomi are my worst nightmare. They go out of their way to try and cause relationship drama. I'm gonna keep an eye on her.
Back inside the Mess Hall, Jack and Zach were having an arm-wrestling competition, Xanthie was referee. It looked as though as if Jack wasn't putting any effort in at all, though. Katarina and Trev, who was sitting on a windowsill, were talking and Yvette was scowling at all of them.
"And Zach is the winner!" Xanthie cheered.
"Whatever," Jack muttered. "Arm-wrestling's too hard." He inwardly sighed. The whole "not quitting on things" thing was going to be harder than he thought.
"Hey, man, good game!" Said Zach as he reached for a high-five. Jack returned it, with a small smirk.
"So, do you have a favorite hobby?" Trev asked Katarina.
"I like to read when I'm bored. You?"
"Nature walks. They're really good for the soul."
"Agreed."
"Ugh! You people make me sick!" Yvette yelled.
"Excuse me?" said an indignant Zach.
"We're just hanging around!" Xanthie said.
""Just hanging around" my ass. Do you honestly thing you're fooling me? You're gonna form a clique and start pushing people around like this." She pushed Trev out of his spot, and onto the grassy ground.
"I'm OK!" he called.
"Look, Yvette," said Katarina, "We've done nothing to you, so I don't know why your attacking us."
"Did nothing to me?" Yvette asked in a sarcastic way. "Bull. You did do something."
"Well, what is it?"
"I'm not telling you. In fact, I don't know why I'm bothering with you low-lifes. I'm outta here!" Yvette stormed off, pushing Trev down again as he was climbing back up.
"Well, that happened," Jack remarked dryly.
"Hey, you know what would be great?" Asked Katarina.
"What?" Xanthie asked back.
"Why don't we form a little clique, or alliance if you will? The five of us could work together fine."
The boys seemed down with it, but Xanthie wasn't so sure.
"I don't know," the DJ said. "I mean, you guys are cool and all, but I didn't come her to play any strategic game. I just wanna have a good time, y'know? 'Sides alliances on this show are always up to no good."
"Yeah," said Katarina slyly, "but our alliance is different. We're all good people, and we'll vote off any party poopers."
"But, who's to say we'll all be on the same team?" Xanthie countered.
"That'll be even better! If a few of us are on different teams, we could be able to relay information towards each other."
Xanthie still looked a bit unsure. Making an alliance wasn't how she wanted to do things here, but Katarina seemed so willing. Plus, she did have a few good points.
"Alright," Xanthie reluctantly said. "I'll join."
"Yay!" Said Trev, pumping his fists in the air. He then fell off the windowsill again.
"Still OK!" he shouted.
Confessional: Lots of alliances forming today...
Yvette: Maybe I'm being a bit harsh, but I don't give a s**t. They're all the same. All of them.
Jack: This alliance thing seems like a lot of work. Maybe it'll be the thing I need to get over my quitting problem.
Zach: I was a bit unsure about the whole alliance thing myself, but I decided to keep quiet. Kat seems like the type who dislikes it when people don't so what she says.
Trev: Alliances FTW!
Xanthie: I hope I won't regret this.
Katarina: My first alliance, score! But Xanthie's right, there's no guarantee that we'll all be teammates. Oh well, not like it'll matter. I'll just tell them how to vote, and they'll do it. I allied with the people who seemed like they'd do what I say without question.
As lunch drew to a close. all 26 teens were back inside, waiting for Chris. Speaking of, he appeared a few seconds later with Brian in tow.
"Hello, fresh meat! I'm back and ready to announce that the first challenge is complete!"
"What?!" The teenagers (Brian included) asked.
"Yep. You see, my new assistant Brion, here,"
"It's Brian," the bespectacled ginger corrected.
"Yeah, whatever. He had this whole Alphabet Puzzle set up for you guys, but that would take too long, and it was a dumb idea."
"That sounds kinda fun, actually," said Imogenn.
"Thank you, Imogenn," Brian said.
"Stop interrupting me!" Chris yelled. "Now, as I was saying, remember how I said that the twists and challenges had an Alphabet theme? Well, the first challenge was the first letter: "A", and "A" is for "assimilate". You had to make with the social activity. ow, for the second twist: "A" is for...
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... "Auto-Eliminated"! Heh, heh."
The contestants were shocked and slightly scared. Some of them were going to get cut right away? They all hoped it wasn't themselves.
"And here's how we decided it: "A" is for "Audience Reception"!
"Isn't that "AR", technically?" Asked Oliver.
"Dude, you'll be eliminated if you don't quit the chatter!" Chris scowled. He then smirked again. "The two, count 'em, two, people that we, and by "we" I mean "me", believed wouldn't make the most interesting characters on TV and would put a hamper on the ratings, are going bye-bye."
"Well, who are they?" Asked Ugo impatiently. "I mean, I'm obviously not one of them, because people are here to see me be the God this game deserves, but I wish to be indulged."
"Well, Ugo, it'll all depend on who doesn't get the safety symbols." Brian then pulled a crate seemingly out of nowhere, which contained apples.
"Yes," Brian deadpanned. "Even these are Alphabet-based. Oh, and don't eat these apples, they'll be important for later."
"Where did the crate come from?" Hitomi said to herself.
"So," Chris said, "you all know the drill: I give you apple, you're still in. You don't get an apple, you are out of the game. And you can't come back. Ever."
"Yeah, sure we can't," snarked Nolan, causing a few campers to laugh.
"Hey, I mean it this time!" Chris replied, slightly irritated that these nobodies kept mocking him. "There's way too many of you little terrors to keep track of this season. Once you're done, you're done."
"Now, the following players are safe:" He said as Brian threw random apples to the safe players. The campers quickly noticed that the apples felt rather hollow.
"Lance."
"Russell."
"Imogenn."
"Oliver."
"Vanessa."
"Bryce."
"Nolan."
"Austin."
"CeCe."
"Hitomi."
"Trev."
"Pietro."
"Sylvia."
"Zach."
"Whitney."
"Quinterie."
"Mary Sue."
"Yvette."
"Jack."
"Ugo."
"Xanthie."
"Katarina."
"Erik."
Greg and Danni looked nervous. One of them was about to be eliminated on the first day, simply because Chris was a douche. Fiona was too busy texting to notice what was going on.
"And the final apple goes to...
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(dramatic pause)
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(suspenseful, ain't it?)
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(lol, not yet)
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(ok, one last time)
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"... Danni." Brian threw Danni the final apple, and the excitable superfan was relieved. Fiona was still texting like there was nothing else in the world but her and her phone. Greg looked crushed.
"But," Greg stuttered. "Why?"
"Dude, all you did was give glowing praise to Mary Sue. At least Whitney seems interesting, even if she did the same exact thing."
"Hey!" Whitney exclaimed.
"And Fiona was only concerned with her phone. Nothing interesting about that."
"What's going on?" Fiona asked, finally looking up from her phone.
"You and Greg are the first two people to be eliminated from Total Drama Alphabattle," Brian said sympathetically.
"Whatev," Fiona said going back to her phone.
Later that night, Greg and Fiona were at the Dock of Shame, awaiting the Boat of Losers.
"Man, this sucks," Greg said angrily. I wish I could've stayed longer. I did not deserve this!"
"Hey, I got eliminated unfairly too, but I ain't complaining."
"Oh, who asked you?"
Chef arrived on the boat, awaiting his passengers. The two got on the boat (Greg doing so reluctantly) and vanished into the night.
Meanwhile outside the cabins, the 24 remaining teens stood as Chris began to speak.
"Now, it's time for another twist: "A" is for "Assembly". It's time to form the teams. There will be three teams of eight, and no team swapping. If you don't like your team, TS. You might've noticed that your apples are a bit hollow. That's because they're made of wood. Inside each apple is a coin with your team logo on it. Those with the same logo will be teammates. Now, open them!"
They proceeded to do so. "Hey," Pietro said. "Mine has a tornado on it! Cool!"
"Same with me!" Said Ugo.
"You will be Team Tornado," Chris said. "All of those with the Team Tornado logo will be chilling in the cabin to my left.
Pietro, Ugo, Oliver, Quinterie, Austin, Whitney, Imogenn and Trev stood with their things at their cabin.
"Hey, Chris," said Ugo, "Can we change the team's name? I was thinking Team Ugo, or Team Ugo is Really, Really, Really, Really Hot!"
"NO!" His teammates yelled.
"Geez, tough crowd..." mumbled Ugo.
Confessional: They'll breeze through the competition!
Austin: So, this is my team? Nice.
Imogenn: Look out, everyone, here comes the dream team!
"Mine has a bunch of rocks," said Hitomi.
"So does mine," Lance said.
"You are on Team Landslide!" Chris exclaimed. "You'll be in the middle cabin."
Hitomi, Lance, Vanessa, Jack, Bryce, Katarina, Zach and Sylvia stood at their new cabin.
"Hey," Hitomi purred to Bryce, who ignored her.
Confessional: They'll win by a landslide!
Katarina: Hm, I'm on a team with two of my allies. Good.
Lance: So many teammates, so many backstabbing opportunities.
"Mine has a waterfall on it!" Exclaimed Danni.
"I guess that makes the rest of us Team Waterfall," observed Russell.
"Ugh, yes, Russell, it does," Chris whined.
"Meaning we're on the cabin to your right," Said Nolan, with an amused grin on his face.
"YES, now will you stop interrupting me?!"
Danni, Russell, Nolan, Mary Sue, Yvette, Xanthie, Erik and CeCe stood at their cabin.
Confessional: I don't have any victory-related waterfall puns.
CeCe: Man, what a baby.
Yvette: Ugh, this is gonna suck.
The campers entered their respective cabins to turn in for the night. We then cut to Chris, ready to give the outro.
"Well, that's it for now! 1 letter down, 25 to go! An "A"-mazing start, am I right? Well regardless, "B" there next time on for another exciting episode of...
Total...
Drama...
ALPHABATTLE!
The camera cuts to black, ending the episode.
Well that's the end of Episode 1. Hope you liked it.
Onto the elimination. I always planned for the elimination to go down this way, since it seemed so goofy and random. Fiona was always planned to go here. Greg was going to last a little longer, but I really didn't like to write for him, so he switched spots with someone else, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
And as for the long pauses, that was a one-time joke. Sorry if it pissed anypony off. :(
Next time: The contestants settle in and compete in their first challenge.
Ja ne,
-Brian