It hurts when he's gone.
More specifically, you hurt when he's gone.
When you're with him, you don't get that embarrassing stutter as much, or sound uncertain when you talk.
Because you know with him, you can say or do anything and he won't laugh at you. He'll laugh with you.
He doesn't treat you like half a troll, no, your goofy clown treats you like a "real motherfucking being", as he would put it.
You know that he's been pushing for a red romance, and you were confused at first. But that's okay, because he takes things slow.
Your first kiss is light, lips meeting for scarcely more than a few seconds. But still, that familiar brown blush is blooming on your face, and that endearing spacey smile of his is showing.
You never knew Gamzee was strong enough to actually lift you out of your four-wheel device and clear off the ground into his arms, but he is. He's so warm, and you just want to cry because someone finally cares about you.
And he takes you onto the couch and just lies there with you, stroking your hair and not saying anything because there's honestly no room for words.
~
Here in your room in the lab, you can both be alone.
So no one (Vriska) is around to see Gamzee touch you, no one can laugh (Vriska) when you make those small sounds in the back of your throat that you're so sure are noises that a girl would make, no one can judge (Vriska) how skinny you two both are when you take off your clothes.
He is so perfect for you, because he doesn't care about imperfection.
Your name is Tavros Nitram, and you are slowly bleeding out.
Your own weapon is protruding from your chest, and why isn't Gamzee here with you?
He should be here, kissing your face and telling you everything is going to be okay and just to believe in miracles and everything would be alright why isn't Gamzee here and your mind is clouding up and it's hard to think.
A last shard of hope glimmers when you hear a honk in the distance. Your eyes crack open just barely, and is that a figure walking towards you?
The last thing you see in a silhouette of your matesprit with scratches on his face that you long to heal.