Kiss from a Rose, a rurouni kenshin fanfic

"Kiss From A Rose"

Author's Note: I don't own a thing, I swear. One shot—as are most of my fics… Not graphic, but definitely implied.

Synopsis: Kenshin's watched and loved this girl for far longer than he would like to admit. What happens when Kaoru gets the courage to address his queer eye?

There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea.
You became the light on the dark side of me.
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.

He watched her all the time, when she wasn't looking. Sitting on the floor of the dojo, in a corner with his sword resting against his shoulder, he was nearly invisible. She practiced with Yahiko every day, teaching him her father's craft. She was average for a woman in her time, but she wasn't soft like women were supposed to be. Her training had taken its effects on her, her muscles in her arms and legs toned, rippling beneath her porcelain skin. But Kenshin knew she was a woman.

The war had been over for nigh a decade, but Kenshin felt its pangs every day of his life. The crossed scar on his cheek wouldn't let him forget his wrongs. The only time he didn't feel the guilt of his actions was when he watched her. She moved fluidly, blocking blows from her student, and spinning around to strike a blow of her own. She never fought to kill; her school wasn't about how to kill, but rather, how to preserve life. She was the epitome of a warrior's grace, knowing she had the power to kill, and still choosing the path of resistance. Kenshin admired that most in her.

Kenshin, where he was sitting in the practice room, could see the beads of sweat that riddled her face, he knew they would stop soon—the sun was almost completely beneath the horizon—and he would ask her if she wanted him to prepare her bath. It was their routine now, he was the silent observer by day, and the lonely guardian by night.

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and
The light that you shine can be seen.

Did he have the courage to tell her how he felt? He was sure somewhere he did. But he was nearly ten years her senior and a veteran, and a well-known killer at that—and she knew it. Anyone would be crazy to want to be with him. But he could not express how much he loved her in mere words alone. It was after their first winter together, when realized it. Yahiko was allowed to sleep in on snow-days, but Kaoru never once slept past sunrise. Many mornings, she was in the front yard with her katana, running over her own training before the sun had even thought about coming up. She had a true warrior's spirit.

It was December, and the first snow had shaken fall from the limbs of every tree in town. The ground was painted white, and the soft flakes were still falling when Kaoru woke and dressed for practice. She didn't know Kenshin would follow her, she didn't know she was being watched. She ran through her morning's exercises, and then paused and closed her eyes, and lifted her face to the sky. Kenshin knew in that moment that he loved her. Her raven hair stood out starkly against the white of her practice gi and the white all around her. Her face was calm, the little flakes melting away on the hot flesh of her cheeks.

Kenshin knew he loved her because he stepped from his hiding place and let her see him. He knew he loved her because his heart jumped to his throat, and he forgot how to breathe. He knew he loved her because in the snow, in that moment, she stole every thought he ever had about war and guild from his very soul.

Now, two years he has known. Known and done nothing.

Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh,
The more I get of you,
Stranger it feels, yeah.
And now that your rose is in bloom;
A light hits the gloom on the grave.

He was standing outside her room again. He wasn't breathing, just standing, listening to her sleep. He heard her turn over, facing the door now, and he backed away silently. The battles were over for now, but Kenshin couldn't know when the next would begin. He worried over her, fretted with every detail when she wasn't looking. But he knew she was a woman. He knew she was a woman who could take care of her self. In the past, she had to fight to stay alive, and he grew sick at the thought that he wasn't there to protect her. None the less, she won. And she had invited him back to her home—his home—freely. Kenshin loved her for that, too.

He was nearly to his room again when he heard her door slide open. He spun on his heels, and found her eyes in the darkness. "Miss Kaoru?"

"What are you doing awake at this hour, Kenshin?" she asked, lucidly.

Kenshin choked at the sound of her voice—it was clear that she hadn't been asleep moments ago. "I… thought I heard something…" he lied.

"Something's bothering you isn't it, Kenshin?" she asked, her deep-blue eyes narrowing. She stepped out of her room pulling her robe tightly around her, and walked to stand before him.

She smelled like flowers. Always true to her name. He knew lying was futile; she had always been able to see through him when they were alone. "Yes." He said, and didn't look at her.

There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain,
My power, my pleasure, my pain, baby
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny.
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby?

"Well, what is it?" she asked, obviously wanting to help. She reached and touched his hand. And their eyes met. Kenshin spun from her, and slid his own door open. "It's nothing, Miss Kaoru, I'm fine."

Kaoru followed him into his room, and Kenshin tensed. He knew that if he did not keep his love, his passion for her checked, she could be in danger. And the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. "Miss Kaoru, please, I'm fine, really."

"I don't believe you." She said, and walked up close to him, he could feel her heat on his back. "You've been acting weird for a long time Kenshin. And you've been quieter than usual lately. I want to know what's going on." She took his hand and jerked him down on his futon and she sat beside him.

Kenshin felt his heart in his throat, pounding, giving him a headache. His mouth was dry, and his hands and legs were trembling. He struggled to keep his inner warrior under control. His face contorted, and his eyes squeezed shut, and when he opened them again, he looked at Kaoru with the same calm, glassy purple. "I just can't sleep, Miss Kaoru, That's all. It's a bad time of year for me." He told her only half the truth.

"Because of what you did to Tomoe?" the question was innocent, but it hurt him.

"Yes." Kenshin forced a little smile, willing himself to tell her that she was the only thing that kept the guilt away—but he had not the words for such a feat. The thought had crossed his mind that Tomoe had wanted him to be happy, and in his most absurd of moments, he had thought that she had sent him to Kaoru. But Kenshin knew that he was hoping—wishing for the impossible. There was no way Kaoru could love him.

"What else?" she asked, leaning closer to him. Kaoru was no fool. She knew Kenshin had more he wanted to say to her.

Kenshin just looked at her for a long time. The words melded themselves to his tongue, and his tongue glued itself to the roof of his mouth.

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and
The light that you shine can be seen.

Kaoru sighed and leaned away from him. She turned her face to her lap and closed her eyes. "You know you don't have to hide so much from me. I am a woman now. A grown woman. I can handle anything you would tell me, Kenshin. I want to help you—but you never give me anything to work with."

The Battousai inside him implored him to speak, but he could not. He needed to know just how far she would go. He needed to know what she felt, before he could tell her what was keeping him awake at night. He knew she was pure, but he also knew that she was no prude. Had she conceived a love for a man like him? Kenshin did not know. He could not imagine. But he could hope. And he did. "Miss Kaoru, I…" and then the words fell from his lips like water—even his warrior's will could not keep them fenced behind his teeth. "I love you."

Kaoru's head jerked up, throwing her hair over her shoulder. When she looked at him, her cool blue eyes met hot, amber ones. A tear slid from the corner of Kenshin's eye in a silent apology, but the amber at last had prevailed.

Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
Stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grave,
I've been kissed by a rose on the grave,
I've been kissed by a rose
I've been kissed by a rose on the grave…

She stared at him a long time. So long, Kenshin began to wonder if he'd sent her into such a state of shock she might never recover. He closed his eyes again, seeking desperately the cool violet, and finding only red, fiery hot amber in its place. His secret was out—she had the truth. And Kenshin was terrified that she would not like what she had discovered.

Kaoru's heart pounded in her ears. Had Kenshin just told her what she thought she'd heard? Surely she was making things up…But no, she looked into his eyes, and she saw the amber, swimming through his mind—she had the truth—or at least the tip of the iceberg. It was her move and she knew it, would she tell him that she loved him too? She cleared her throat and looked away a moment to gather her wits, and then, leaning so close to him that she could feel his breath on her cheek, she whispered the words she'd thought in her head for over two years: "I love you, too, Kenshin."

His hands were on her before he knew what was happening, gripping her shoulders, tilting her head back, his lips pressed themselves to hers urgently seeking the softness and the sweetness he knew must lie between her own. He caught himself, and released her, but the taste was still there: it was desire—he knew it well, but he apologized and waited for the slap.

Kaoru's limbs felt heavy. Her neck felt like rubber and she nearly fell backward when Kenshin removed himself from her. She didn't hear the apology. But she had felt his mouth cover hers, and she had felt the heat rise up in her because of it. "No, Kenshin." It was a plea, "Don't stop."

...And if I should fall along the way
I've been kissed by a rose
...been kissed by a rose on the grave.

He didn't need to be told twice. Kenshin, though he didn't understand fully what this meant, reached for her again, and took her against him, and kissed her. This time, they were both prepared, and Kaoru responded to him. Her arms snaked themselves around his neck, drawing her even closer, intimately close, and she leaned on him, pushing him back into the pillows of his futon.

Kenshin knew then that this was what he had needed. All his years as a servant to death, a warrior, an assassin, he was missing only one thing. Love. He reveled in the weight of her body against his own, relished the taste of her kiss, delighted even in the scent of her hair as it fell around them. So this was what it was like to love Kamiya Kaoru. This was what it was like to love a warrior.

Kenshin's hands gripped her hard, afraid that if he let go, she would disappear. But Kaoru pulled away from him anyway. Leaning up, hovering over him she looked at him. Kenshin saw the question in her eyes and his stomach turned. "Kaoru." He said her name, the first time without the honorific. He saw her smile, and he said it again. "Kaoru."

"Kenshin, I…" she began, not knowing exactly how to tell him what she was thinking.

Kenshin sat them back up, putting some distance between their bodies. "Kaoru, I know it's fast. I'm sorry." But he wasn't, really.

"No." she said, looking at him, he read in her eyes that there was much more she intended for the two of them. That night.

Kenshin gulped, wanting to follow the path her eyes followed with his hands, but knowing that it was a big step.

There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain
My power, my pleasure, my pain.
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny, yeah
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby.

"Kaoru, I don't think…" but what he didn't think didn't matter, apparently. She kissed him into silence and when she pulled away there was no denying what she expected from him.

He trembled at the intensity in her eyes, the deep ocean-blue ad slipped into a silky shade of obsidian, a color that held a desire that demanded release. "…Are you sure?" he asked, and felt foolish. His hands reached for her none-the-less.

"Make me yours." She couldn't have made it plainer. And Kenshin did not need any more encouraging.

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and
The light that you shine can be seen.

His fingers had not slowed in their deftness as they removed the layers separating one body from another. And Kaoru's hands found themselves more useful than Kenshin would have guessed. The world melted away as loomed over her, kissing her into ecstasy.

Kenshin found peace with his past in Kaoru. He found solace and love and an ever deepening and expanding desire he had not guessed was there. When he shut his eyes he saw her in the front yard, dressed in white, the snow falling silently around her, he saw her face uplifted; he saw her hair waving gently in the wind. And when he looked down at her, the same woman he'd loved from afar, he saw the wings he had missed. All the time he was guarding her—he realized, in a moment of pure clarity that follows such a passionate encounter, that she was his guardian.

Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
Stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom;
A light hits the gloom on the grave.

That night as they lay together, limbs entwined, flesh against hot flesh, Kenshin dreamt for the first time since the war. Kaoru lay her head against his chest, lightly, her fingers making lazy circles on his abdomen. She traced many of the scars his nakedness revealed, thinking him more precious with every wound.

Kenshin felt her mark him where he'd endured the effects of past professions, and he felt the pain seep out of him with every scar she touched. He jerked a little, in his groggy slumber, when she reached a hand to his face. He felt her fear when she ran a shaking hand along his scar, first one, then the other, crossing. He knew she didn't need to hear it, but he said it anyway, "It doesn't hurt anymore."

What she said in reply surprised him, "Kenshin…It's fading."

The scar that for years plagued his dreams felt nonexistent. And Kenshin, though he did not understand why, knew it was Kaoru's love that had done it.

Yes I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey...