A/N: Hey guys! I know, I know, I know - I'm a terrible person. I promised a few people that I'd have a new fic up after that last oneshot I posted and that it's been a few months since I said so but... it's here now! That's a plus, right? Better late than never!
Warning: To those few people who don't particularly like Finn - you're going to have to get through a little bit of Finchel to get to the Faberry. Sorry.
Rachel was happy. Finn was finally shaping up to be the leading man she hoped he would be, putting more effort into Glee club, and even trying to improve his dancing. Rachel wasn't helping him with that though. She refused to. Even she couldn't help him with his dance skills.
Rachel just couldn't see him ever becoming a successful dancer, though she'd never tell him that. The combination of his height and the length of his limbs just didn't liken him to the level of dancing that most people were capable of. But nonetheless, she was proud of his efforts.
It was their second week at school. Today they were spending their lunch hour in the auditorium, practicing a song and dance routine to show the other members of Glee club. Rachel hoped it would heighten their spirits and get them ready for Sectionals. After all, it was the final year for some of them – it would be their last chance to qualify, and possibly make it to Nationals.
"I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life…" Finn sang, clicking his fingers at his side and making his way across the stage. He was frowning at the same time, probably because he was having trouble putting everything together, like he always did.
Rachel tried not to laugh. He really did look like a constipated monkey in that moment. Finn was never good at multitasking, she mused, except when it involved his x-box and food.
"Finn?" Rachel interrupted when he reached the other side of the stage. She pressed pause on the CD player playing the backing track and looked at him.
"Did I do something wrong, Rach? I swear, I'm trying really hard but – "
Rachel smiled at him. "You're doing fine, Finn. I just had a thought, and I think it is necessary for me to voice it. I feel as though you would benefit greatly from it."
"O-okay." Finn looked at her questioningly. "What's up?"
"Maybe it would be easier if you simply walked and sang?" Rachel suggested. "I can see that the inclusion of clicking to the beat has made the routine rather difficult for you, which I don't actually understand, seeing as you are a perfectly competent drummer."
"Yeah, I guess." Rachel knew from Finn's expression that he had no idea what she'd just said.
So she repeated it in simpler terms. "Finn, you don't have to click anymore."
"Oh." He looked a little pleased. "That's great! I was having trouble with that whole clicking thing."
Rachel managed to not roll her eyes at him. "I know you were, Finn. That's why I'm saying you don't have to do it anymore."
Finn just grinned at her. "Thanks, Rach."
"That's okay. Now," Rachel continued, "Shall we take it from the top?"
They were finished rehearsing, and Finn was walking Rachel to her locker so she could pick up her books for her next class.
"We're close to perfect!" Rachel gushed about their routine.
Finn nodded as they stopped at Rachel's locker and she took out her books. "Does that mean we can show everyone at the next Glee club meeting?"
Rachel gasped and pulled her head out of her locker. "Of course not, Finn! I said that we're close to perfect, not that we are perfect. One must not perform unless they are sure that their act is completely flawless. I, for one, know that our performance still needs some work. And I will not present our song to the Glee club until it is ready. What kind of co-captains would we be if we presented a less-than-perfect performance? The members of Glee club look up to us as role models, Finn, and we must show them our aptitude for perfection."
"Okay, Rachel. Our song can wait." Finn said simply. He knew better than to argue with Rachel Berry about performing.
"Thank you, Finn. I hope you understand my requirement for absolute perfection. How else will I prepare myself for the level of perfection required of me when I reach Broadway? I have no qualms about setting high goals for myself, and everyone knows that the groundwork necessary to reach those goals begins right now."
Finn only understood half of what Rachel had just said, so he just nodded. "But, Rach, you really don't need to try so hard."
"Finn, did you understand what I just said?" Rachel raised an eyebrow. "I said that I need to get everything right here if I want to achieve my dream of being on Broadway. I have to try."
"Yeah, I know what you said." Well, he knew now, when she said it in fewer words. "But you still don't need to try so hard."
Rachel's jaw dropped. "Finn! I – "
Finn held up a hand to silence her. "Let me finish."
Rachel closed her mouth and looked at him inquisitively. He'd never told her to stop talking before. She waited.
He just shrugged. "You don't need to try so hard because you're already perfect. And if Broadway doesn't want you, then they're crazy. They don't deserve you. You're better than Broadway."
She stood still for a moment. Then tears gathered in the corners of her eyes, and Rachel stepped forward to wrap her arms around Finn.
"Those are the sweetest words anyone has ever said to me." She breathed into his shirt. "Thank you."
"It's okay, Rach." Finn answered softly, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin atop her head. "It's true though – you're perfect. I mean, sometimes you talk a lot, and I don't really understand what you're saying, and you get really obsessed with performing and stuff, but you're still perfect. I think singing is like breathing for you. It comes so easily, and whenever I watch you sing, you look alive. Just like you're breathing."
Rachel laughed a little, stepping out of his embrace. "Thank you, Finn. It really does mean a lot."
Finn gave her his wrinkly eyed, crooked smile. "Any time."
Rachel smiled a teary smile and pulled her books out of her locker. "I think you're the best friend anyone could ever have, you know."
"Really? Thanks!" Finn grinned, closing her locker door. He looked to the ground, scrunched up his face a little and then looked back at Rachel. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course." She was a little concerned now. "What's wrong, Finn?"
"I just…" He looked like he was searching for the right words to say. "I wanted to know why you broke up with me over the holidays. I mean, I thought we were going good… but then, out of the blue, you came over to my house and dumped me." He frowned. "I just don't understand."
"Oh." Rachel looked pained.
"Was-was I not enough? 'Cause I can totally do more for you, y'know, if you wanted. I want to be the perfect boyfriend, Rach." Finn turned his pleading, puppy-dog eyes onto her.
"Finn." Rachel almost whined. "I told you – it's not you, it's me. You were the perfect boyfriend, even though you did sometimes forget about our dates and anniversaries and movie nights…" She sighed, hugging her books close to her chest. "It's just me. There's something… I can't be in a relationship with you anymore. There is a reason, I promise you. But I can't tell you right now."
"Okay. I believe you." Finn nodded. "Will you tell me the reason?"
"Not now, Finn."
"Will you tell me ever?"
Rachel sighed. "Come over to my house on Friday night, and I promise I'll tell you."
Finn tried to act nonchalant about finally knowing the reason he was unceremoniously dumped over the summer holidays, but his eager eyes gave him away. "Okay, Rach. Are you sure though?"
Rachel just had to smile at him. Even though she broke up with him, he was still being sweet, and cared enough to ask whether she was okay with it. "Yes, Finn. I promise to tell you on Friday, okay? I just need some time to figure out what I'm going to say."
Finn nodded. Rachel sighed. Today was Monday. She had four days to figure out how to say why she broke off her relationship with Finn. It wasn't like she didn't know why (because she did); she just didn't know how to tell him. Because telling him would mean having to admit it to herself. And it was something she didn't even want to think about right now.
Friday came far too quickly for Rachel's liking. All of a sudden, the bell signalling the end of the day was ringing, and Rachel was getting into her car and driving home.
Finn had been poking and prodding her about it and, every time, Rachel would reply with an "I'll tell you on Friday, Finn". For once, she was glad that they didn't share any classes together, because she was already frustrated with his endless questioning. She still had to endure him during Glee though, which was a pain. But she held her head high and told him to wait until Friday. And now it was Friday.
A few hours later, the sky was darkening, and Rachel had only just registered that she was at home. The doorbell rang but she didn't hasten answer it.
As expected, it was Finn.
"I come bearing gifts." He said with a grin, showing her the bag containing a bucket of Rachel's favourite vegan ice cream.
Rachel smiled hesitantly. He was being very kind, and Rachel wanted to tell him to stop, because she couldn't handle all of his niceness. Especially when she was going to be telling him the reason why they were no longer a couple.
Which was a very daunting subject.
Rachel took the bag from him and led him to the kitchen where she put the ice cream in the freezer for later. Then they traipsed up to her bedroom, because Rachel thought Finn should be comfortable (and seated) when she delivered the news.
They both sat down on her bed, side by side. Finn turned a little so they were looking at each other. He looked at her expectantly. He thought it was weird how she hadn't said that much since he arrived, and wanted to proceed with caution.
"So, Finn." Rachel said with false enthusiasm, clapping her hands together once. "I assume you know why you are here tonight?"
"Yeah. You were gonna tell me the reason you broke up with me, I guess."
"Okay. I should get straight to it." She breathed deeply, and then exhaled.
But didn't say any more.
"Rach?" Finn queried.
Rachel seemed to be aware of the fact that she hadn't said anything. Her mouth was open, as if she was about to speak, but still nothing came out.
"Rachel, it's okay." Finn said in a placating tone. "You don't have to tell me. You're not ready, I can tell. It can wait."
All of a sudden, Rachel was in tears, and Finn was holding her to his chest, whispering soothing words into her ear. Rachel shook her head and tried to talk through her tears.
"Finn, I-I-I need to tell you this." She said, hiccoughing slightly and pulling away. The tears had slowed, but they hadn't completely stopped.
Finn eyed her warily. "Only if you want to."
"I want to." Rachel nodded resolutely, pawing at her wet cheeks. "I feel bad knowing that you don't know the real reason I broke up with you."
"Okay. Take your time."
Rachel took another deep breath and looked him in the eyes. She'd stopped crying.
"Finn… I'm gay."
Finn lost consciousness.