I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia.
The Marriage Registration Form
By waterrain
"America, What is this?" England asked slowly as he held up a piece of paper and listened as the blue eyed Nation cheerfully laughed.
"What does it look like darling? Seriously, You and me got really wasted." America replied cheerfully, he was smiling brightly, and looking at England's stunned expression.
"What we got married? This is our marriage registration form…"
"Yep. I put a lot of heroic hot dogs and hamburgers drawings all around it. You and me are totally married."
"I will never drink again. I can't believe I'm married to you."
"We can get a divorce, have a custody battle in court, and-"
"Why the bloody hell will there even be a custody battle?"
"Over Alfie Jones-Kirkland."
"What? How on earth did we even get a baby?"
"Well, There was a woman and she was not able to care for the baby."
"All in one night?"
"I'm America, sweetheart. I work miracles no matter my location in the world, sweetie."
"Stop with the annoying nicknames."
"Okay, Honey bunny."
"Knock it off already, America."
"I love it when you talk dirty to me, babe. It's so cute, but please Alfie Jones-Kirkland is here." America stated as he held Alfie Jones-Kirkland in his arms. "He is just an innocent baby. It's okay baby it's just that me and your papa are getting a divorce. It's not my fault."
"You are unbelievable, America."
"That's what you told me last night when you were doing the sexual deed to me. You were such a pirate last night plundering my heroic goodies. Don't you remember, England?"
"No. I have no memory of last night."
"We got married, had wild sex, and then received a baby when walking to the elevator. How could you forget all that?" America asked in a heart-broken voice, his blue eyes were filled with tears, and he looked as if England betrayed him. "You want to divorce me after deflowering my virgin body. After having your wicked ways with me and doing lots of kinky things to me. After we adopted a baby from a woman that couldn't take care of said baby anymore. You are really terrible, England. I feel used like a slut."
"America, I will take responsibility and we don't have to get a divorce. We still have the Special Relationship so we can remain married." England said softly and he honestly felt bad not to mention guilty.
"April fools, England! This is not even a real baby. It is an advanced doll that looks and feels like a real baby." America said cheerfully as he placed down the baby doll and grinned widely at the shelled shocked green eyed Nation. "Oh and by the way I'm still a heroic virgin. You really shouldn't get drunk. The marriage registration form is real you signed it last night and I decided to sign it in the morning. It's a real marriage form, but only me and you have seen it."
England didn't say a word, but he did punch America in the stomach and stormed over to the front door.
"Uh, England. This is your house."
"Shut up. I should have known it was a bloody prank."
"April Fool's day is my day while Halloween is your night." America informed the green eyed Nation and felt a bit frightened at England's evil chuckling. "Uh, I'll be going now."
"I can't wait until Halloween." England whispered to himself before cackling loudly, he noticed that America decided to race away, and the green eyed Nation smirked. "Oh, America. On Halloween I will have you screaming, crying, and whimpering for mercy."
England looked at the marriage form and he tilted his head to the side.
"First things first I will have the court make this marriage form official." England said as he placed the form inside of his suitcase and walked out of his home.
America was panting, he looked up, and saw France looking at him.
"What is wrong, America?"
"England is upset that he wrote his name in the marriage form last night."
"Did he rip it up or mark out his name?"
"No."
"Do you think he will go and make it official at a court?"
"Nah, I doubt it because he more than likely burned it after I walked away in a heroic manner." America said calmly and he has no idea that right now England is making it offical.
A week later America received a letter in his mail box, his blue eyes went wide in shock, and he swiftly pulled out his cell phone to call up England.
"England, Why am I getting a letter saying that you and me are-"
"Yes, We are officially married for I took that form to court and-"
",But how the-"
"Well, Love. I'm England and I made that marriage registration form real. You signed it. I signed it. You left it with me and I decided that I might as well make it official. We do have the special relationship, sweetheart."
"Knock it off, England."
"I love it when you talk dirty to me,darling."
"I want a divorce now."
"What about our little Alfie Jones-Kirkland?"
"You still have the baby doll…"
"Yes and the poor baby misses his mama. By mama I mean you, America. Come here my love and let me have my wicked ways with you."
America ended the phone call, his cheeks red, and he regrets his prank for it completely back-fired on him.
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