Aww, I love TalaKai. This is my longest fic yet, so here you go...
"Tala?" Hands, shaking me. "Tala! Tala, can you hear me!" I groan. Stop shaking me! It hurts! I try to say the words, but somehow only a pained gasp and a moan get out. "H-hurts..." I manage finally. At least the hands have stopped shaking me. But now someone's shouting. Two people, three people...now there are too many voices to count.
"Tala! Tala, don't fall asleep!" Hm? Someone speaking to me in my mother tongue?
"W-what-" I choke out. Suddenly I stop. I hurt, all over, and I feel wet. I force my eyes open, but all I can see is a blur of red. They snap closed, but I can't stop thinking. That red...am I...bleeding? "Help..." I whisper. Strong arms take hold of me, and I feel myself being lifted up, my head swimming. "D-dizzy..." I slur. "T-tired..."
And it's true; I'm so tired I don't even know what language I'm speaking in. I don't even know where I am...or how I got here. My head feels like it's full of cotton wool, I can barely think anymore. "Why?" I try again. "Why, B-Bryan?" I feel a new hurt now- a fist of pain clenching over my chest. Now I remember who did this to me. It was Bryan. Bryan, who I loved...and who I thought loved me...but why? There must be a reason, some reason I can't remember. There has to be...
"Why's he asking for Bryan?" Says the first voice. I'm just gathering myself up to answer, when the russian voice does it for me.
"He's not. He's asking why Bryan did this to him."
Ah, now someone else knows. I don't have to worry. I can "Sleep..."
Tala woke up in a clean white bed, in a clean white room, screaming. Instantly three doctors rushed into the room, checking his monitors and heart rate, feeling his pulse, checking his eyes. On and on he screamed, uncontrollable, hysterical, and then he stopped as the door opened. His eyes glanced at the fur and the boots, and then he started screaming again. "GET AWAY FROM ME! GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!" More screams, and then another slate haired russian entered through the doorway.
"Get out, Bryan. You've hurt him enough. You nearly killed him. So get out." Hissed Kai quietly. Bryan looked down at him as if he were something distasteful on the bottom of his shoe. The doctors stared on, motionless, as Bryan leaned close up to Kai.
"I'll stay right here, thanks."
"Bryan, I'm warning you. Get out before I make you get out."
"What, you think you could take me?"
In a flash, Kai had whirled at him, stabbing his fingers into Bryan's eyes and kneeing him, hurling him to the floor. "Get out! Don't you dare come near Tala again or I will make you -SORRY!" He growled, as Bryan crawled backwards, holding his eyes. By that time the hospital security had arrived, and they dragged Bryan away. Kai turned to Tala. "Tala-ushka. Are you okay?"
"No." Tala had never been a good liar, and besides, the two drips stuck in his hands and the multitude of bandages around him made the answer to that question pretty much apparent. "No I'm not." Two fat tears trickled down his face and he inhaled sharply. "Why, Kai? Why did he do it? What did I do? I can't remember, but I must have done something..."
"You didn't do anything, Tala. Bryan's been taking advantage of you for a long time now. I tried to warn you, but you were in love with him. You wouldn't listen..." Kai crossed over to Tala and grasped his hands, avoiding the drips. "I could have said something...done something...oh Tala, I'm so sorry..."
Tala looked up at him, tears still in his eyes and on his face. "But you didn't do this to me. Bryan did..." He stared into Kai's eyes, and Kai was shocked to see the pain and suffering in his gaze. He was about to say something when the door opened again. Tala flinched, turning away slightly, but it was only the other bladebreakers, armed with presents. They settled themselves around Tala's bed, plying him with chocolate and sweets and magazines. Tala accepted everything with a smile, but Kai could see that he was hurting. He was radiating hurt, it was in his eyes, in his mouth, in the way he held himself even.
He sat next to Tala, holding his hand gently. Eventually the others left, waving and smiling. As Max closed the door behind him the smile dropped from Tala's face. Kai squeezed his hand. "It's okay Tala. He won't hurt you any more."
"I-I know. But...I'm starting to remember...I-" He shut his eyes, tears rolling out from under the closed lids. "He wanted me to sleep with him. That was what he wanted. But...I wasn't ready..." Tala snivelled. "I w-wasn't ready..." Kai pulled him into a hug as he started sobbing, making sure to avoid the most bandaged areas of Tala's body. Inside he was burning up with anger. How dare Bryan? How DARE he!
"I said no...a-and he tried to force me...he...had a knife." Kai stroked Tala's hair, becoming more horrified by the second. "I ran away...but he- he f-f-followed me!" Choked Tala, sobbing desperately, clutching at Kai as if he was the only thing in the world. "And then he hit me...and he kept hitting me...and cutting..." Tala's grip tightened. "He left me...he left me there to die!" He wailed. "I was so scared, Kai. But then someone came...someone found me...was it you? T-There was someone speaking to me in russian...or did he come back for me? Did I get it wrong?" Tala asked, suddenly panicking.
"No. He didn't come back. It was Rei who found you, and I was speaking to you. No-one else could understand you, seeing as you were speaking in russian. That's why they didn't get it when you started talking about Bryan."
"But you did."
Kai nodded, cradling Tala in his arms. He felt so overly protective and posessive of his little wolf that he dared Bryan to come back. He would kill him. He would kill him like he tried to kill Tala. His grip tightened and Tala whimpered.
"Stop that!"
"Sorry, Tala-ushka."
Tala laughed weakly, nuzzling into Kai's shoulder. "You've never called me that before..."
"You know how I feel about you. How I've always felt about you. That hasn't changed."
"It's nice to know someone still wants me...I feel so worthless, Kai."
"I'll kill him. I'll kill him for what he's done to you. You're not worthless Tala, and if you ever, ever believe that I'll be more angry than you could imagine." He pressed a finger to Tala's lips, stopping him from interrupting. "I love you, and you are worth the world to me. Don't -ever- think of yourself as worthless."
Tala relaxed further into Kai's arms, ignoring his hurts and aches. Right now he needed to be close to someone, to know that he was wanted. "Thank you. Thank you so much Kai-ushka." He whispered. There was a long silence, then Kai spoke up.
"They said they'd let you out tomorrow. You can...come and stay at mine. If-if you want to, that is."
"I'd like that. That would be nice." Tala yawned. "Would you mind if I went to sleep? I'm so tired..."
"No. Not at all."
Kai smiled as Tala's eyes fluttered closed, laying the sleeping redhead back onto his pillows. He settled himself in the visitor's chair with a book, preparing to watch over Tala all night.
And so at three o clock the next afternoon Kai helped Tala out of his limo, supporting him almost fully. Tala leaned heavily on him, his breath misting in the cold air. "I'm tired, Kai-ushka...and I hurt."
"Inside or outside?"
"Both."
Kai watched tears well up in Tala's eyes and felt a rush of hate against Bryan. He slipped his arm further around Tala's waist, feeling heavy-hearted. They reached the door of the mansion in silence, and the butler opened it for them. Tala was just inside when his knees buckled and he started to fall. Kai caught him, holding him up. "Tala...are you okay?"
"I hate him...but I still love him... and I don't want to!" Cried Tala. "I won't!" Kai held Tala to his chest, stroking his back soothingly. "I won't..." Whispered Tala, slumped against Kai, unable to stand. A sick combination of his actual wounds and his mental wounds were bringing him down, and it was tearing Kai apart. "I hate him..." Tala sobbed, clutching Kai desperately. "I hate him!"
"Shh, shh, Tala-ushka. It's okay." He hugged Tala tighter. "It's okay to hate him." Tala's sobs rose in volume and he clung to Kai as if he was the only thing in the world. He cried himself out in Kai's arms, burying his face into Kai's shoulder.
Kai stroked his hair gently, then lifted Tala into his arms, carrying him into the living room and laying him on the sofa. Tala looked up at him with empty eyes. "I feel broken Kai. I feel like he's taken me...and snapped me...in two..." He whispered, voice cracking. "How couldn't I know...? Why didn't I? Why didn't I listen? I'm such a f-fool..."
"No. No you're not. Don't say such things. He's the fool if he could hurt you in any way..."
"I let him do this to me...I let him...he wanted to...but I couldn't..." Tala gasped in a breath, his voice choked up. "I couldn't..." Suddenly Tala was laughing and crying at the same time. "I've spent my life being a whore, Kai..." He shuddered. "Do you know how old I was when I lost my virginity?" He went straight on, not waiting for an answer. "I was nine..." His eyes shut. "It hurt so much..."
"No...Tala..." Kai breathed, shocked beyond belief.
"I slept with men for money...because I wanted to stay alive, Kai. But now...I just want to die...I feel broken, Kai. Broken, abused...dirty..." His hands grasped the bandages on his chest and he tugged weakly at them. "I can't breathe..." He gasped for breath, eyes wide and desperate. Kai grasped him firmly by the shoulders and shook him.
"Tala! Tala, stop it!" He shook Tala once more and the redhead started breathing again, coughing and crying. Kai wrapped his arms around him and cradled him to his chest. "Please say something Tala...you're scaring me..."
"I don't know if I still want to be alive, Kai. I feel dead. Horrible, and filthy, and dead!" He lay limp, chest heaving with silent sobs."He's killed me...I'm dead..."
"No you're not. You're not dead. You're alive, and I love you, and if you die, then I'm coming with you. I could live with being apart from you, but if you were to die...I wouldn't be able to live..."
"I thought he was different...I thought he wanted more than a
prostitute! I was wrong, Kai, I'm wrong about everybody!" Wailed Tala, totally, utterly distraught. "I had a s-sister once, Kai. Did I ever tell you?"
"No."
"S-She was called Zamyska. She was m-m-murdered...she was a lapdancer...it was the only way we could live, Kai...the only way..." Tala was speaking in one long steam now, everything pouring over the floodgates. "After she died...I found out that she was
pregnant...and I hurt, Kai. I hurt inside...like fire...so much pain..." He shut his eyes tighter. "I always end up hurt, Kai. Zamyska, Boris, Bryan...everyone hurts me. I don't want to hurt like this any more...I can't live like this..."
"You don't have to Tala. I'll never let anyone hurt you again...I will give you everything I have, Tala, my today and all my tomorrows. They're yours. I love you. And that hurts, because every tear you cry is like a knife, Tala-ushka, and I feel like a failure for letting this happen to you. That he had the chance to harm you...to mar you, to make you cry...it's my fault, Tala."
"No it's not. It's not your fault. You've never done anything wrong, Kai. All you've done is help me. But I have to tell someone. Someone has to understand." His hands clutched weakly at Kai's shoulders. "My mother died when I was two, Kai, and I lived with Zamyska all the time after that. And then when I hurt, she would comfort me. When they k-killed her, I turned to Boris, and he pretended to care, and then when he hurt me I turned to Bryan, and now...he's done the same...I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust anyone ever again...
"My life is a mess, Kai. I've suffered, and cried, and been hurt and for what? What do I have? I have no friends. I have no team. I have no family. All I have is a beyblade and a broken heart!"
"And me. You have me Tala, and you always will have." Kai stroked Tala's neck and the back of his head gently. "Do you want to go to bed, Tala? I know you're tired."
"What if he comes back?" Whispered Tala fearfully.
"There are five armed guards on the roof of this mansion, and another twenty on the ground. None of the windows are open, all of the doors are locked. There's a lock on your bedroom door, and if you're still scared, I'm next door to you. And there's a gun on my nightstand. He will never, ever touch you, ever again."
Tala nodded. "I'm tired."
Kai lifted him up again, eyes staring over Tala's bruised, tear-stained cheeks. He carried him upstairs and into his bedroom, in which every corner was illuminated, and there were no places for anything to hide. There was one window, far too narrow for anyone to get through, and that was it. As Kai had promised there was a lock on the door, and Tala found that he could operate it from a switch on the wall next to the bed Kai laid him on.
Kai paused in the doorway, then turned. "I love you, Tala-ushka. Sweet dreams." He left the room and shut the door, leaving Tala alone. Suddenly Tala was scared again, and the walls seemed to close in on him. He looked around frantically, eyes raking the room. He was terrified; panic gripped his senses and he lay, paralyzed with fear. "Kai!" He yelled. Kai appeared in the doorway once more, holding a gun. "What's wrong?" He saw Tala's fearful expression and stuck the gun into his belt, crossing over to Tala and sitting next to him on the bed.
Tala curled up into himself, shaking. "Don't leave me...please don't leave me alone..." He shuddered. "I'm scared Kai. I'm scared...please don't leave me..."
"I won't leave you. I'll stay for as long as you want me to."
"I want to kill him, Kai. Is it right to want to do that? I'm scared, Kai. I'm so scared...will you stay with me? Will you hold me?" Kai nodded.
"If you want me to. Tell me what you want me to do and I will."
"Just hold me...and stay with me while I sleep, Kai...I'm scared..." Kai's arms wound around his waist and he leaned against the younger boy's chest, closing his eyes contentedly. "Safe..." He murmured. Kai stroked his hair affectionately.
"You have nothing to fear from me, Tala-ushka. Sleep well."
Tala's eyes fluttered shut and he fell asleep with a little sigh.
He woke much later and found Kai sitting on the chair next to his bed, asleep. His hand was still holding Tala's, but otherwise he was slumped in the chair, snoring gently. Tala watched him for a while then tugged at his fingers. Kai's eyes shot open and he blinked a couple of times. "Are you okay, Tala-ushka?"
"What are you doing on the chair?"
Kai regarded him with a small smile. "I didn't know how you'd feel sleeping in the same bed as me. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. Are you any better this morning? You've been asleep for..." He glanced at his watch. "Fifteen hours..."
"I don't ache as much. And...telling you everything made it easier to bear." He sighed, then winced as he tried to roll over and crushed one of his many bruises. "Bastard..." He muttered. Kai squeezed his hand gently.
"Tala...Mr. Dickenson called last night when you were asleep. They found Bryan." Tala could feel his chest constrict and he closed his eyes. "They found out why he did this to you. Tala...he was being brainwashed. For months, maybe years, Boris had been implanting things into his mind..." Kai sighed. "They don't think he'll ever recover. But if it's any consolation, they managed to convict Boris-"
"They're never satisfied are they?" Cut in Tala.
"Who?"
"Everyone." Spat Tala bitterly, his sadness giving way slightly to anger.
"Tala, you know Bryan was always short-tempered. I don't believe it was entirely Boris' fault that he hit you."
"Nor do I. I never said I did. He did this to me." Tala paused, then continued. "Everyone did this to me."
"Tala-"
"And what about you Kai? How are you going to make me cry? Maybe you'll leave me. Maybe you'll hit me. Maybe you'll just make me feel worthless, pathetic and useless. Who knows?"
"Tala!" Kai was getting angry himself now. "Don't say such things!"
"Why not, Kai? It's true. Everyone ends up hurting me. Whether they want to or not. I may as well leave now..." He tried to get up, but Kai took hold of him, arms gentle, expression hurt. "Tala, please. I know you've been hurt. But I won't hurt you. I promise."
"Bryan promised me he'd love me forever. You don't try and kill people if you love them, Kai! Promises are empty, no-one ever keeps them!"
"Then what do you want me to say? I'll do anything for you Tala, anything at all. I would maim for you, I would kill for you, I would -die- for you. You don't seem to understand the strength of my feelings for you! I couldn't imagine a life without you, Tala, because I love you so much I would die if you weren't around!"
"Leave me alone! I don't need you! I don't need anyone! I hate you!" Yelled Tala, struggling. Kai let him go sadly, laying him gently onto the bed, then turned away.
"I know you don't need me, Tala-ushka. But did you ever think that perhaps I need you?"
There was a long silence, then Tala spoke. "Kai, turn around." Kai did so, and Tala gasped, all of his hurts and aches forgotten instantly. Kai's face was a mask of sadness, and there were tears running freely down his face. "Do you really hate me, Tala?" His hand, shaking, reached down to his belt and pulled out the gun. He brought it up then held it a couple of inches from his head. "Do you...hate me?"
"No! Kai!" Tala forced himself up, kneeling, hands reaching out to Kai. His fingers connected with the smooth material of the younger teen's scarf and he pulled, yanking Kai on top of himself. The gun dropped to the floor, forgotten, and they collapsed into a heap of whispered apologies and pleas for forgiveness. Mixed up in the sadness there was need, and desperation, and soon they found themselves kissing, desperately, needily, greedily plundering each other's lips as if they were all that existed. Eventually they broke apart, and Kai gazed into Tala's eyes. "I will love you forever, Tala."
Tala gazed back and in that instant nothing seemed to matter. He smiled, tears of joy springing into his eyes. He laughed weakly, nuzzling into Kai. "This is how you make me cry, Kai. With happiness." His hand found Kai's and he clasped it in his own lovingly. "I love you too."
fin
Note to UlTiMaTe KaI LuVa- ushka is a russian honorific, people say it to show they love/respect a person.