This is going to be difficult... Elsa thought to herself as the plane was ten minutes away from the airport. I can't believe it's almost been two years since I last saw my family, especially Anna. Elsa knew that seeing Anna again would bring up old feelings that she had tried to suppress for so long. Why am I such a sick person? Why do I have to have feelings for my own fucking sister? Why can't I love her as just a sister? Elsa had said this to herself almost every day for the past two years. Elsa thought if she ran away from Anna that the feelings would eventually disappear. Elsa tried so hard to keep these feelings away and the worst part was she ignored Anna for two years because of it.
Why am I such a terrible person? Not only do I have feelings for my sister, I also fucking abandoned her for two years! I doubt she will even want to see me... Elsa had spent the last two years in college and she never made any contact with her family the whole time she was there. In fact the only reason she was returning home is because she had made Anna a promise when they were children that she would be there when Anna graduated, no matter what the circumstances. When they were younger everything was normal, well more or less. Elsa loved her sister, Anna but only as a sister and nothing more. But as Elsa got older she began to develop feelings for her younger sister and she hated herself for it. Even when Elsa was home she didn't have much interaction with Anna once she knew how she felt about her. It just pained her to be with someone who she loved so much; knowing that she wouldn't lover her back, well at least not the way Elsa loved Anna.
I wonder what has changed. I wonder if Anna hates me after what I've put her through. Hell, I would. But I can't live without her in my life anymore. I'm going to try and make this right again if it isn't already too late. Elsa was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard "Ladies and gentlemen we will be descending into Arendelle International Airport shortly. If you could please fasten your seatbelts and return your trays to the upright position that would be much appreciated, thank you." With that Elsa fastened her seatbelt and prepared for landing.
After Elsa went through baggage claim and retrieved all of her things she went outside to hail a taxi. After she flagged one down she jumped in the back. "Where can I take you this evening, Ma'am?" The cab driver said in an exhausted tone. Elsa just handed him a paper with the address to her house written on it. She wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody. "Long flight?" he asked.
"Yea, you could say that." Elsa said, getting comfortable in her seat and putting on her seatbelt.
"I had a bit of long day my-" He was cut off by Elsa.
"Listen, I hate to seem rude but I would really appreciate it if I could be left alone." Elsa had too many thoughts running through her mind to try and focus in conversation. With that the cab driver just nodded, put the car in drive, and took off.
Elsa was so nervous about finally coming home that she was slightly shaking in her seat. She hadn't told her family that she would be coming home and staying until summer was over. I should have called them and told them I was coming. But then again they were always fond of surprises. I just hope they're home right now. Random thoughts flew threw Elsa's mind at how her family would react to seeing her and how she would react to seeing Anna again until finally the car pulled in front of her childhood home.
"That will be forty dollars." the cab driver said.
"Thank you," Elsa responded as she handed him the money and stepped out of the car. Elsa walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," she heard a familiar voice say. The doorknob slowly turned and the door opened. "Can I help yo-" Elsa's mother froze. "E-Elsa," her mother said standing in complete shock upon seeing Elsa as tears began to form in her eyes.
"Hi, mom," Elsa gave her mother a nervous smile as her eyes wandered to the ground. "Sorry I didn't call or anything I just wanted to supri-" Elsa stopped when her mother practically tackled her into a huge hug.
"I've missed you so much," her mother whispered, tears rolling down her check on to Elsa's shoulder. "I'm sorry I hadn't called while I was at college, Mom, it's just that things were really busy up there and I just lost track of time." Elsa said in a low apologetic tone. That's a fucking lie. You just couldn't manage to find the courage to call her after you practically left for college without even saying goodbye.
"It's okay dear I understand. I'm just so glad you're home," she said squeezing Elsa even tighter in her hug. How can she be so understanding after two years of almost no communication! I don't deserve to be forgiven after what I've done. Elsa's mother released her from her embrace and stepped back with red eyes from the crying. "Well come in, please," she said trying to regain her composure. Elsa stepped into the house noticing that almost nothing had changed. The living room still had those hideous couches, although Elsa had to admit they were quite comfortable. The kitchen hardly changed minus a few minor things.
"Where is everyone?" Elsa asked her mother.
"Well your father is working as usual and I believe your sister is upstairs in her room making sure everything is in place for her graduation tomorrow." As soon as Elsa heard her mother say that Anna was upstairs, shivers fell down her spine and hands began to shake.
"A-Anna's upstairs?" Her voice was shaking.
"Yes dear, you should go say hi to her. She has missed you more than you will ever know." Her mother said.
"Okay, I will" She replied still trying to figure out what she was going to say to her.
Elsa began walking up the stairs to the second floor. Anna's room was the first room on the right and Elsa's was the second. When Elsa reached the top of the stairs she noticed Anna's door was left open and light was gleaming out of the room. Oh god this is it. Don't fuck this up more than you already have Elsa. Just go in and say hello. See if you can still rebuild the relationship you once had with her. Elsa walked in front of Anna's doorway to see her sitting at her desk facing the other way with headphones in listening to music as was checking her Facebook on her computer. Elsa's hands became clammy and shaky when she saw Anna sitting there. The room smelled how Anna always did which was an arrangement of tropical fruits which Elsa always loved. "Anna?" Elsa said with no response from her. I guess her music is too loud. She started walking towards her and with every step the butterflies in her stomach grew worse and worse until she was standing right behind her.
Elsa tapped her on the shoulder and Anna took out her headphones and turned around. "Yes mo-" Anna's face filled with shock and disbelief when she saw her older sister standing there nervously clutching her signature French braid with both hands with a nervous grin on her face. Oh my God she looks even more gorgeous than the last time I saw her. I didn't even think that was possible. Anna had her beautiful auburn hair in dual braids which fell over both of her shoulders and stopped right at her breasts. She still had those adorable freckles that ran over the bridge of her nose and her checks. Her crystal blue eyes were wide open and started to fill with tears at the sight of her older sister. Her mouth hung agape in shock showing off her pearly white teeth which Elsa always admired. "Oh my God, Elsa!" Anna screamed as she leaped from her chair and wrapped her sister in an even bigger hug than the one her mother had just given her. Elsa shivered as soon as her body made contact with Anna's. Control yourself Elsa. Conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel. She thought to herself as she graciously returned the hug to her younger sister. Well at least she's not mad at me. That's a good start.
Elsa felt tears building up in her own eyes as holding her sister there made her realize what a huge mistake she had made pushing her away those past two years. "Anna, I'm so sorry for being a complete dick and disappearing from your life. It's just tha-" Anna stopped her as she felt tears building up on her shoulders.
"Elsa, it's ok. I understand that you were busy in college and all and you're here now and that's all that matters." Why is everyone in this family so forgiving? I can't believe that after all this time they still welcome me as if nothing has happened.
"Really?" Elsa responded in a surprised tone.
"Well I mean it wouldn't have hurt to have called or something but hey, I can forgive you for that, as long as you make it up to me." Elsa smiled at her sister response as Anna began to back away from the hug.
"Well I guess I could start by telling you that I actually showed up for your graduation, just like I promised." Elsa said as genuinely as she could.
"Wow, you actually remembered" Anna said as the tears that were built up in her eyes began to roll down her checks.
"Of course I remembered! Listen, Anna I know that with the lack of communication we've had recently you might think that I stopped caring about you. But trust me when I say that there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about you. It's just..." I wish I could tell you the actual truth. I ignored you all this time because I have these feelings for you and I was trying to make them go away. Which was obviously a huge waste of time because it didn't fucking work at all. "It's just that I was being an inconsiderate, selfish bitch and I put my needs before everyone else's and I don't think I can apologize enough for that."
Both girls were now crying when Anna said "Well I'm not gonna lie Elsa, it hurt. You turning your back on me without giving me a reason why. I can't tell you how many times I cried myself to sleep thinking that I have lost my sister." I knew it was too good to be true. No one can be that forgiving.
"I'm so sorry Anna and I didn't think you would forgive me so easily so I understand if you are still upset with me. But just know that I am going to work very hard to try and regain your trust and friendship. Even if it takes all summer." After Elsa said that, Anna brought herself and hugged Elsa once again. "I love you Elsa. No matter what, I will always love you." If only you knew just how much I loved you Anna. If only you knew how much I want to be with you. "I love you too Anna." Well that went better than expected.
After both girls regained their composure they released the hug and just stood there in awkward silence for a few minutes. "Uh- well do you want to sit down?" Anna asked.
"Um... yea, sure." Elsa replied. Both girls sat down on Anna's bed.
Elsa definitely seemed tense and she guessed that Anna had noticed when she asked, "Are you okay, Elsa?"
She sat there contemplating whether to tell her why she was so tense. "Yea... I'm fine." She responded. You're such a coward! Just tell her that you're tense because you're speaking to the girl you love and shut out for two years. "So... uh, are you excited for your graduation?"
Anna's face of worry immediately left as excitement filled her eyes. "Oh my gosh yes! It's gonna be so great! After my whole life of schooling it's finally over. Well at least until I go to college. Speaking of college, how is college going Elsa? I bet it's going great. Did you make a lot of new friends? What am I saying of course you have. Who wouldn't want to be friends with you?"
Anna paused. "Oh god I'm rambling, aren't I? I'm sorry, it's just- We have so much to catch up on." Aww, Anna you're so cute when you ramble.
"It's ok, Anna. You could talk my ear off for the rest of the summer if you want. I'll always be here to listen from now on." A goofy smile grew on Anna's face. "So have you decided on what college you're going to go to?" Elsa asked.
"Um, well yea but I actually haven't told anyone yet. I was waiting for the right time to bring it up." Anna said. That's weird; I wonder why she hasn't told anyone.
"Well, do you- uh, do you want to tell me?" Elsa could tell that Anna was nervous but she didn't know why.
"Um, well-" Anna was interrupted by the sound of a car pulling up to the driveway. Elsa went to the window to see her dad get out of the same car he had when she last saw him.
"Dad is home." Elsa said in a low voice as a smile grew on her face. "Sorry Anna, we can talk later but I'm going to go say hi to dad." Anna just nodded and followed Elsa as she flew down the stairs to reach her father at the door.
I wonder if he will cry too. Nah, I don't think I've ever seen him cry. Why would he start now? The door creaked open and Elsa's father saw both of his daughters waiting at the door. "Well," he said, "what a pleasant surprise." He wrapped Elsa in his arms and she nuzzled her head under his chin. Wow I've missed this so much. I'm such an idiot for leaving in the first place.
"It's nice to see you too dad." As she continued to hug her father, her mother came out of the kitchen. "Okay everyone, dinner is ready." Great! I'm starving. Elsa thought as she released her father and walked to the kitchen with Anna while her mother stayed back to give a kiss to her father before trailing Anna and Elsa into the kitchen. Elsa sat down next to Anna and her father sat across from them.
Her mother went into the kitchen to bring the food and returned saying, "Sorry there's not too much food, I wasn't expecting you home Elsa." Yea, I should have called before showing up.
"Listen I just wanted to say how fucking sorry I am for disappearing from all of your lives. I know that you all seem to have been very forgiving, which was surprising. But I just wanted to say that I'm going to try my best to make it up to all of you." Her eyes started to water and she could feel tears building up.
"Oh, Elsa, of course we forgive you. Sure, everyone makes mistakes but at the end of the day we are family and we will always love you, even if you do mess up a little. That's what family is for: to pick each other up." It was a huge relief hearing those words from her father.
"Well, dig in! We don't want the food getting cold," her mother said passing the meatloaf down the table. After the family finished eating they talked for a while and caught up on all the memories that Elsa had missed upon over the past two years.
"Um- excuse me." Anna said. "I have something I want to share with all of you." Anna seemed really nervous as she continued to talk "I-I uh... I think I have decided on what college I want to go to. I got accepted to the university that Elsa is going to and I think my final decision is to go there as well."
"Darling that's great news!" Her mother said. Oh god Anna is going to go to my college! How am I supposed to control my emotions with her on the same campus as me!
"Anna, why were you so nervous about telling us this?" Elsa said in a caring tone.
"Well I-I just thought that maybe you didn't want me to go to the same college as you..." Anna said trying to avoid eye contact. Great! Your sister thinks that you hate her! Good going Elsa.
"Of course not! Anna I know I haven't been there and it would be only natural to think that I didn't want to see you, but I've missed you so much. And, since I'm making it up to you, if you want maybe we can move into an apartment together?" Wait... what! Why did I just say that? How am I going to control myself with Anna living under the same roof as me! I mean I would love to have her living with me but if I see her stepping out of the shower or changing or something I would probably jump on her right then and there.
"Really? Oh my god, that would be so awesome!" Well too late to back out now. Looks like you're going to be spending summer with her as well as living with her after you leave.
"Well I'm glad to see that you two will have the chance of getting close again." Their mother said. Elsa just showed a loving smile to Anna as she picked up her plate and brought it to the sink. She looked at the time and realized it was 9:00 and said goodnight to her parents and began walking upstairs with Anna.
"So do you want to come in my room and hang out before I go to bed?" Anna asked.
"Of course," Elsa responded walking into her sister's room. She plopped down on her bed and noticed a sharp pain in her back "Ow, my back is killing me from that plane ride." Elsa mumbled.
"Do you want me to give you back massage?" You have no idea how much I would love that. Unfortunately I don't think I could control myself with you touching me like that.
"Thanks Anna, but you don't ha-" before Elsa could react, Anna flipped her over and hovered over her with one leg on either side of Elsa and began massaging Elsa's back.
"Nonsense! I would be more than happy to." Ohmygodohmygod. Control yourself Elsa. Conceal don't feel. Elsa was beginning to feel hot as her sister's hands wandered all over Elsa's back. Oh my gosh Anna that feels so good. She let out a quiet moan as Anna kept massaging her. "Does that feel good Elsa? It's been so long since I've given a back massage. Mom use to need them all the time." Shivers shot down Elsa's spine.
"This feels amazing." Elsa said with a quiet squeak in her voice. Anna could only chuckle at her sister's response. Oh Anna, if I was giving you the back rub right now. Your shirt and bra would already be off. Actually I don't think the back rub would last very long. It would just lead to me kissing you and touching you.
As Anna was massaging her she accidently hit a ticklish spot on Elsa's ribcage. Elsa began to laugh "H-Hey, that tickles," Elsa said amidst her laugh.
A devious smile grew on Anna's face. "What? This?" She said as she began running her fingers up and down Elsa's sides causing her to laugh uncontrollably.
"A-Anna, s-stop that!" Elsa said on the verge of peeing her pants, but Anna didn't let up. Okay Anna now you've done it. Elsa thought as she turned over on her back and pushed Anna over so she was now in between Anna's legs on top of her. Now it's my turn! Elsa began assaulting Anna's sides with a barrage of light pokes causing Anna to now be the one laughing.
"E-Elsa, I'm g-going to p-pee!" Anna said. Elsa then stopped tickling her but was still on top of Anna in between her legs. Elsa was still feeling flustered after having physical contact with her sister after two years. "I missed being close with you like this," Anna finally said after she regained her composure.
"Yea, me too" Elsa responded. Elsa could feel how red her checks were and she was still worked up over the whole tickle fight so she thought she would go to her room. "Well it's getting late and tomorrow's going to be a big day for you, Anna," Elsa said as she got off Anna's bed and started walking towards the door. "Goodnight Anna, I love you." Elsa said when she reached the doorway.
"I love you too, Elsa." With that response Elsa walked out and shut the door.
I love that girl so much. I just wish she knew how I really felt.