Once upon a time (that's how all stories start) there lived a little boy
called Hairy Peter. It was unfortunately ironic that he an unusual hairdo
no hairdresser would come near. He was the first ever boy to have a natural
pink Afro (there was a girl from Tokyo that had a natural pink Mohican but
that's another story)
He lived with his Aunt Petunia and his uncle Vernon. They were horrible! They liked everything to be normal so they could NEVER let Hairy outside. It was extremely unlucky for Hairy that his Aunt had got drunk and stupid (stupider than normal) and done naughty things with Vernon which lead to the birth of a thing they decided to name Dudley. Dudley was a pain in the ass and Hairy hated him more than anything. The house Hairy lived in was a beautiful house, perfect in every way but he lived under the stairs in a dusty cupboard full of dust and bugs that liked to nest in Hairy's "hairdo". He stayed here miserably eating only Shitake mushrooms and amusing himself with one of the pens with the moving boats inside He finally escaped when he stole Dudley's mobile and phoned the NSPCC.
They took him away and shoved him in an orphanage. He wished he had not phoned the NSPCC for his life at the orphanage was much worse. He survived on gruel (somehow he missed the mushrooms) and even though they had a playstation they had no games so Hairy had to wait hours in a queue to have a 5-minute go flipping the lid.
When Hairy just thought his life couldn't get it surprisingly got better. All because of a letter. The orphanage workers are meant to keep letters private but obviously one of them had a sneak peek. Mrs. Carpen the Orphanage worker was later found dead of shock in the torture chamber with the letter in her hands. Hairy was never bothered by the letters he received, they were normally death threats from his family (they had to pay a 1,000 pound fine) but when he found his letter was the cause of his worst enemy's death his obviously thought it would be something interesting. At first he thought it was a hoax that the Hoghairs school of hairdressing and wizadry were asking HIM to join but something at the back of his mind told him it was true (an enchanted talking owl flew in, pecked his head and told him). He was so excited to escape but how would he? He didn't want everyone to die!!!! So Hairy packed his belongings (1 broken toothbrush and a handful of mouldy shitake mushrooms to remind him of the good days), and ran to the station.
He lived with his Aunt Petunia and his uncle Vernon. They were horrible! They liked everything to be normal so they could NEVER let Hairy outside. It was extremely unlucky for Hairy that his Aunt had got drunk and stupid (stupider than normal) and done naughty things with Vernon which lead to the birth of a thing they decided to name Dudley. Dudley was a pain in the ass and Hairy hated him more than anything. The house Hairy lived in was a beautiful house, perfect in every way but he lived under the stairs in a dusty cupboard full of dust and bugs that liked to nest in Hairy's "hairdo". He stayed here miserably eating only Shitake mushrooms and amusing himself with one of the pens with the moving boats inside He finally escaped when he stole Dudley's mobile and phoned the NSPCC.
They took him away and shoved him in an orphanage. He wished he had not phoned the NSPCC for his life at the orphanage was much worse. He survived on gruel (somehow he missed the mushrooms) and even though they had a playstation they had no games so Hairy had to wait hours in a queue to have a 5-minute go flipping the lid.
When Hairy just thought his life couldn't get it surprisingly got better. All because of a letter. The orphanage workers are meant to keep letters private but obviously one of them had a sneak peek. Mrs. Carpen the Orphanage worker was later found dead of shock in the torture chamber with the letter in her hands. Hairy was never bothered by the letters he received, they were normally death threats from his family (they had to pay a 1,000 pound fine) but when he found his letter was the cause of his worst enemy's death his obviously thought it would be something interesting. At first he thought it was a hoax that the Hoghairs school of hairdressing and wizadry were asking HIM to join but something at the back of his mind told him it was true (an enchanted talking owl flew in, pecked his head and told him). He was so excited to escape but how would he? He didn't want everyone to die!!!! So Hairy packed his belongings (1 broken toothbrush and a handful of mouldy shitake mushrooms to remind him of the good days), and ran to the station.