"Be who you are and be that well."

-Saint Francis de Sales

Race cars and action figures lie scattered across the carpet. There are roads made up of dice and toothpicks for trucks to drive through. A dartboard is posted on the far wall across from the mat dedicated to toys a plenty. His toys: the small boy that dwells in the room, almost in confinement. He loves those toys, well not loves; it's more of obsessive of them. They are his thinking strategy. This compulsive need is what he uses to explain his thoughts.

Near didn't mind be looked at as nothing but an innocent child, at first glance. He would sometimes use it as an advantage. The white, flannel pajamas probably didn't make him look any older.

Today wasn't any different from any other day in Whammy's. Except for that it was the day before Easter. Most holidays pass by, with the exception of Christmas and New Years, but this holiday was unusually popular this year on account of Mello's shortage in chocolate.

He had decided to make his way around the building with a large sign that clearly read: "give me chocolate tomorrow and I won't tell Roger about you know what". When reading this your first guess would be, how did Mello find out? But after rereading it, something in the back of your mind tells you that you are quite gullible and need to acquire chocolate anyways because it is a holiday. A holiday that Near wished would go by unnoticed, like the others.

Not only did he not have any way of obtaining chocolate by the next morning, but he had enough on his mind besides Mello. Tomorrow was scheduled to be a visit from L.

Many times L had said he would visit, but had been rerouted and too busy to pass by. This wasn't an abnormal occurrence for Near. On the contrary, there were more planned but rescheduled visits from L than there were actual visitations. This didn't fluster Near as much as it would have if he depended on L for everything, which he didn't. He was sure that it wasn't an obsession, just another one of those compulsive needs.

For now, Near sat in his playroom on his mat that lay beneath his action figures and robots. One knee raised and the other underneath him, he grabbed two of his toys. Something about a quiet afternoon in the comfort of his own possessions enlightened him to think a little more positively about his idol nearing appearance. Maybe this time he would come and join them for a holiday. He would have too, he loves candy and sweets. This must be his favourite day of the year, besides Halloween of course.

"Good morning, Near. How are you?"

He played out the scene with his action figures; a plastic Superman walked up to a small Robin and talked in a small voice.

Robin talked back: "Hi, L. I am good, how are you? I have missed you a lot."

Near knew that the conversation would probably not be carry out like he wanted it to, but he continued. The Superman edged closer to the Robin contently.

"I've missed you too, but now I am back. This time, I will not be leaving."

"You won't? Why?"

"Near, I love you too much to leave you again."

Superman and Robin dropped to the ground. A slightly shaking pale hand rose to meet his curly white locks and began to attempt his third compulsive need; to twirl his finger through his hair. With a small cry he dropped his hand and placed his head on his knee. He felt a tear slide down his soft cheek and he raised his head angrily.

"No!"

L wasn't going to miss this visit. It was his choice on whether or not he came to the orphanage to see him and Mello. Falsely accusing his hero of forgetting or not caring was wrong of him. L always had a reason for what he did. There was always a reason. For now he had to wait and see what happened.

Near let go of another tear and took hold of a red robot.

The door burst open behind him.

"Near!"

He turned slowly to see Mello standing in the door way, a pair of goggles in his hand.

"I can't fucking find him! Matt is fucking gone! Where is he, Near?!"

Mello ran into the playroom and grabbed Near by the collar of his pajamas and lifted him off the floor. He pulled him close and looked straight into his eyes. Terror filled them quickly.

"I don't know, Mello. He must be here somewhere, I don't believe he would just up and leave." Near replied quietly, starting to shake again. He could feel the tears coming back, but he couldn't let them go. Not in front of Mello.

"Do you think I haven't fucking looked everywhere? He isn't in this goddamn orphanage, Near! Where is he? Where the fuck could he have gone?!"

Mello dropped Near and pushed him back. He could see the tears welling up and didn't want to be the cause of them, even thought he knew he was.

"I don't know, Mello," he repeated angrily, "I am as lost as you. Why don't you ask Roger?"

The thing with Mello is that once he starts swearing, it is very hard for him to stop. Another thing is that when he doesn't stop swearing, he gets angrier. Thus, the more Mello swears, the angrier he gets. Every action has an equal reaction.

"For fucks sake! How stupid do you think I am?! I am in line with you for L's succession, brilliant one! Did you honestly think I hadn't fucking thought of that? Matt has been missing all fucking morning, and I have a feeling that you know where the fuck he is! Now tell me!"

A small group of children had formed around the doorway since Mello had walked in screaming. They whispered to each other, wondering what was going on and why the two smartest boys in all of Whammy's were fighting. Even though Mello and Near often got in each other's faces, it had been a while since they got into a screaming match with each other. Though this was more of Mello screaming at Near and Near hoping Mello would get to the point and then shut up.

Whipping the tears quickly with his sleeve, Near stepped towards Mello and looked him heatedly in the eyes. Out of all the days Mello could have chosen to get frustrated with him, today was the worst.

"I do not know where Matt is, Mello. I haven't seen him since yesterday. Maybe he went out to buy something? Did you ever think of that, Einstein?" Near very rarely tried to offend anyone, so he didn't really know what to say to Mello without swearing.

Mello looked away suddenly and turned to the group settling outside the room. "All of you, piss off!"

The children scattered quickly and quietly.

"Mello, tomorrow is Easter. He probably went to buy you candy and chocolate." Near still stared at Mello angrily.

"Oh. Of course he did." Mello nodded and left the room silently. There wasn't anything left to say. All he had wanted was to know where his best friend had run off to.

Again, Near wished that this holiday would pass unmarked like the others. He let himself fall back on to the floor in his awkward sitting position and pushed aside the action figures. A hand in his head of curls once more, he thought about what he would give to L when he arrived. What kind of gift?

Penniless, he tried to brainstorm ideas of things he could make for L. Maybe he would like some cupcakes. Near wasn't quite sure how to make them but Matt was good at cooking and would help him whenever he decided to show up. Or maybe a cake: shortcake with strawberries. Wasn't that L's favourite?

He didn't know. Apparently there were a lot of things Near didn't know today. This wasn't very comforting. Being aware of everything was another one of his compulsive needs. It seemed he had a lot of those. That, in the end, wasn't very comforting either.

Near got up and headed for the kitchen. If there was any place to look for something to give to L for Easter, that would be the first place to look.

The hallways weren't as crowded as usual; dinner time usually stole away the children from the halls for a few hours. So he shuffled through Whammy's in complete stillness until he entered the kitchen.

The white kitchen was filled with bustling volunteers that worked full-time. They ran around filling plates and cooking the dinners for geniuses. Watching the white-coated bees fly around the metal and ceramic floors was enough to help Near lose his appetite if he had one.

He snuck in and around all of the workers to the cupboard where many of the cookbooks were kept. It was normal for children to come into the kitchen to make something to eat, most of them could eat whenever they see fit. So no one noticed Near looking through the cupboard.

He found a book on cookies and cakes. It wasn't that thick, but the hardbound cover made it a little heavy. Weakly, he lifted the book from the shelf and, holding it against his chest, left the kitchen happily. He had accomplished his first task. Next was to find the recipe.

Near flipped through the book, almost aimlessly. He had been looking for a recipe for the last 20 minutes and he hadn't found anything of any interest that would prove to L how much he cared for him. Beginning to give up the search, Near turned the page and saw it:

Strawberry Shortcake with Chocolate Sauce

It was perfect.