A/N : guys, I'm back again! I'm SO making progress. *is proud of herself* Okay, so this scene really got to me. I really miss the friendship the two of them used to have; somehow I feel the writers have forgotten about it, giving all the Arwen stuff more thought (I'm not a big Arwen fan, so naturally this makes me upset). And I really want Arthur to stop and think about what he's doing. Hence, this little story. I'm going to write at least one more chapter, maybe even two, but PLEASE tell me what you think? It really means everything to me.

xo, as always

Merlin

"You know, Merlin – you couldn't keep a secret if your life depended on it!"

If ever he'd felt like punching Arthur in the face (preferably causing a nosebleed) it was now. Not that he would…because even in this moment of pure rage, of heart pounding and bitterness on the tongue, he still felt that connection to the idiot. That loyalty that kept him going every day, careful not to ponder on whether Arthur would do the same for him. Lately, it seemed questionable. The mere fact that he thought Merlin would ever sell him out to his father – it hurt beyond compare.

For the past year, Merlin had thought they'd moved past this stage. He'd grown to think maybe the prince trusted him, believed in him the same way Merlin never doubted him. Things had changed.

All that flashed through his head in that one small second before his mouth opened to scream his reply. Words that, no doubt, would present a big risk if Arthur stopped to think about them. They were nothing but the harsh truth, the one that physically ached : he could never tell Arthur about this, about his magic. "You'd be surprised," he screamed back.

The fire in Arthur's eyes turned to a slow burning ember. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He should have calmed down. Instead, it seemed the question only added fuel to his anger. He was sick of being treated this way, sick of Arthur pretending he was the most important person in this friendship, the one who knew it all. The thing is, right now it seemed the prince didn't know anything. Not about him, anyway.

"You think you're so clever?" Merlin retorted, adding a laugh. "These past weeks, it seems like,.."

Arthur granted him his all knowing, slightly bitter grin. "Like what, Merlin?"

It was then that he realized with a force of a thousand armies punching him at once. His hands, raised in battle, fell to his sides. He couldn't say the words he felt like screaming. Arthur would call him an idiot and that would be that. He closed his eyes briefly to gather himself. He took a step closer to Arthur, who seemed to notice he'd calmed down, and said, his voice a mere whisper : "Here's what we'll do. I'll help you, with Gwen."

What he didn't say is that afterwards, he'd leave. Mostly because at that precise time, Morgana entered Arthur's chambers, but also because he couldn't do this to Arthur – not when his heart was on the verge of falling apart. Merlin would have to mend it first.

When the girl had been saved and Merlin was...himself again, he walked to Arthur's chambers, feeling little confidence. He nearly returned to his own room – twice! – and his fingernails were wearing thin, but it needed to be done. Though it wasn't going to be easy.

The first thing he saw upon entering the room, was Arthur's gaze trying to lock with his. The prince cleared his throat ostentatiously, motioning for Merlin to sit down. He preferred to stand. "I've been wanting to talk to you," he began.

Oh no, you don't. Not this time. "Er – so have I." Taking a deep breath, he continued his train of thought. "I'm going away for a while."

Arthur

Arthur dropped his quill, his eyes as large as those big saucers they used at ceremonial dinners. "What?"

"Yeah," Merlin explained. "I need a little time off.. for personal reasons. If that's all right with you."

"Merlin, if this is about earlier…" That's as far as he went. It was as far as he could go. For some reason, his mouth wouldn't form the words and he hoped Merlin knew him well enough to understand what it is he wanted to say.

Either way, his servant decided to save him the trouble. "It's about a lot of things."

He didn't exactly know how to respond to that. A lot of things regarding him? Regarding them? He mostly seemed incredulous, as if Merlin leaving had never been an option. Always just there, to catch him whenever he fell down. Not that he'd ever admit to being 'saved' by Merlin, but in the ways it counted, his friend had remained by his side. "I'm going to be by your side, like I always am… protecting you."

Even this afternoon, when they'd fought, Merlin had still been willing to help him save Gwen. He could've walked away then, but he didn't. Instead, he chose now to leave.

"How long will you be gone for?"

Merlin's mouth twitched. "I'm not entirely sure. Probably no more than a week of two."

Wait – what? "Two weeks?"

His servant smiled a little, sensing his distress. And then he just turned around, moving towards the door. "I'm sure you'll survive."

He didn't know why he didn't order Merlin to come back, point out that he'd never even given him his permission to leave and demand he stay in Camelot. He'd certainly treated Merlin like a true servant these past weeks, so he didn't know what stopped him now.

The crown prince only watched the door fall closed, feeling as if somehow it represented the end of something. A sudden sense of loss enveloped him and whatever that meant, it wasn't good.

"At least tell me where you're going." With those words, he entered Merlin's bedroom the next morning, fully expecting the boy to cave in and abandon this insane idea that had crept into his mind. He was servant to the crown prince, after all; and he was needed here in Camelot. But the chamber was empty. Unnaturally tidy, as if it already conceded to the fact that its occupant would not be returning for some time now.

He felt as if he'd been struck. So naturally, this meant his defences came back, full swing. The annoying sadness that had been there made way for anger – how dare he just leave? Arthur needed him now more than ever!

"Sire?"

Turning on the spot, he came face to face with Gaius, who hurriedly took a few steps back upon seeing Arthur's temper rising through the roof. "You've just missed him," the physician explained, "he left only half an hour ago."

"Whereto?"

Gaius rolled his lips inward. "I don't know, sire. To be honest, I'm not sure he does, either."

Arthur bit his tongue trying to control the panic that was starting to rise in his throat. Great, now the idiot might just wander off the path and get himself killed in the process. He knew how Merlin could get on road trips.

"Well, do you at least know why he left? Is it because of what happened yesterday?" He'd hoped Gaius wouldn't even hesitate and immediately say it had nothing to do with that, but honestly – he knew Merlin better than that.

"That might have something to do with it," Gaius told him, "but it's not all."

Arthur pinched his brow and sighed. "Great."

"Merlin would give his life for you, my lord. If he thinks you no longer trust him…"

"Well, why was he talking about his own secrets, then?" Something about Merlin's reply still nagged him, haunting him for a good part of last night. Gaius, however, gave him a reassuring smile.

"We all have our secrets, Arthur. Merlin is no different. Your trust is more important to him than anything else in the entire world. He thinks of you as his friend, but if you for any reason decide you are not, then he.."

"He's like a brother to me," he heard himself say. "An annoying little brother at that."

Gaius remained silent for a while. "Have you told him that?"

Well, no. Because it went without saying.
Didn't it?

Okay, pleaaaase tell me what you think? Pretty pretty please? I'll give you heaps of virtual cookies and cake!
xo, as always

Mae'side