Heaven
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except my own ideas.
Author's Note: This is my very first Harry Potter fanfiction! Please do give me comments if there's anything I didn't do well on!
Heaven
Heaven: a place, state, experience of supreme bliss - a Muggle dictionary
The bites. One after another, again and again.
There was no pain, not anymore, even as the snake struck his throat and as the poison coursed through his body.
No physical pain could measure up to the pain he had felt over the years over losing Lily.
Over being the one responsible for losing Lily.
He winced a little as the snake struck him again, and shuddered as he felt the poison eating away his body.
He wondered where he would go after this. What lies after death.
"The good people will go to a place where they will be happy forever - heaven." he remembered his mother saying many years ago.
He didn't think he deserved going to heaven-he didn't know if he really wanted to go there even. He was sure Lily- the kind and caring Lily that looked out for him-would be there, but if she was there, so would James, for all the good he had done (he knew it was impossible to deny this- he was, after all, an Auror, unlike himself, a Death Eater) -a constant reminder that she had chosen him over himself, a constant reminder that it was due to him that Lily hated him, a reminder that Lily died because of him.
Nay, heaven was no haven for him, even if he was allowed to be there.
As the snake slithered towards him, posed for an attack again, he though about the Mirror of Erised he saw six years ago. He remembered seeing her beside him, smiling, her hand in his, content just by being by his side, just as how he was content by being by her side.
For that short moment, he had allowed himself to believe that she was truly with him, that all that had happened was a lie, a nightmare that will pass in the morning and he will wake up with his beloved Lily by his side on the grass, as they did so many years ago.
That the past countless number of years was merely a nightmare.
He didn't know how long he had sat there for, staring at the mirror, drinking in each and every moment before him, without a care for the world.
It was only that moment, the only moment in 20 years, that his defences were down, and he let the slightest of tears slip past his cold facade.
He saw again that the Dark Lord sneered at him and recalled the snake, content to be rid of him. He never thought he would ever be thankful to the Dark Lord, but now, now that He granted his wish of death, of leaving this world and this life that had never given him anything, he wanted to thank Him, before remembering that He was the one who killed his beloved, who led him towards this path of destruction, who killed and tortured so many innocent lives.
At that moment, he felt sick, sick of having thought the Dark Lord as merciful.
As his mind wandered once more to what happens in the afterlife, he heard two pairs of footsteps, and then the familiar green eyes greeted him.
Potter.
Potter and Granger.
He motioned for Potter to take all his memories, all that he needed to defeat the Dark Lord. As Potter collected his memories, he stared into his eyes, and for the first time in his life, the eyes did not hold hatred or disgust.
That was all he needed, really. To see those eyes looking at him without hatred.
"Look at me..." He barely whispered.
As the eyes turned to him, he allowed himself to forget that he was looking at Harry Potter, to forget all that had happened in the past years, and to believe that he was looking at Lily.
His Lily, before all that had happened.
And for that short moment, he was in heaven, before the darkness engulfed him and he knew no more.
-End-
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