Disclaimer: This is heavily based off a story I read called "75 ways to make Erik angry" by Mira-Jade. I claim absolutely nothing to this, because if I hadn't read the Mira-Jade story, I would have never written it.
Read 75 ways to make Erik angry.
Now, very sadly, I have killed many Geriks, Kay Erik, Leroux Erik, and Silent Film Eriks due to this fic. But I don't care!
Thanks to Kloolk and Mira-Jade for some of these ideas!
Slight bashing.
This is 35 Ways To Kill A Phantom.
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Lock him and the phangirls in a room together.
Lock him and Raoul in a room together. Give Erik the choice of Raoul or the punjab.
Same as #2, but switch out Raoul with the managers.
Give Erik the choice of his death or Christine's.
Wait, that one might not actually work. He was sorta ticked off around the end of the movie…
Paint a picture of Christine on a wall with automatic spikes. Yell "Look, Miss Daae!" Press the button and smile as he's skewered.
Tell him that he's just been married off to Carlotta. Smile as he has a heart-attack.
Tell him about all the slash fics on this site. Repeat smile-and-heart-attack-thing.
Leave him, Rose, Veng, and Insane in a room together. Give the three Anti-Phans weaponry.
Force him to live with Raoul for three days.
Make him sniff his own drugged candles.
Have Christine and Raoul make-out in front of him.
Paint a picture of Christine at the bottom on the his lake. Tell him that she's stuck in there and needs his help.
Tell him Christine's actually his sister.
Tell him Raoul's actually his sister.
Yes, I said sister.
Give him the Carlotta soundtrack.
Sign him up to be one of the seven members of the Raoul fan-club.
Nominate him as PRESIDENT of the Raoul Fan club.
Leave him and the Canadian Raoul fan-girl in a room together. Once again, give him punjab option.
Leave him and the phangirl Kloolk in a room together. Ignore the manly screams from Erik.
Make him watch the scene in the 2004 remake where Christine accepts Raoul's purposal. Repeat.
Lock him and a pack of rabid chinchillas in a room together.
Make Erik watch Golden Girl reruns.
Okay, I'm getting off subject of Phantom of the Opera-ness. I'll go back.
Take Carlotta's poisoned bottle and give it to Christine.
Tell him that Madame Giry is his sister, then say that Christine is Meg's sister.
Make the lake deeper (about 300 feet).
Then carve a hole in the gondola.
Then, as he sinks, play Titanic music and freeze the top of the lake.
Introduce Erik to all the R/C fanfics.
Quicker death for those with Christine having Raoul's child.
Show Erik the gravestone in the end of the movie that says Christine was a wife and mother.
Give him my iPod, complete with about 34 Kelly Clarkson songs.
Use his own punjab against him.
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A/N: Most of these involve having Erik die from shock, heart-attack, or something like that.
This is a oneshot. Just review.