AN: The title doesn't really have anything to the story. Or maybe it does? I don't know, it's hackneyed, but I still like it. Anyway, this is post-Ice Age and pre-Ice Age 2 (because I haven't seen it yet). Also, there is a sort of Manny/Diego hint. You'll know it when you see it; I can't do subtle. Never thought I'd ever consider writing any sort of animal slash…whatever. This is also posted at LJ, at my Ice Age specific journal (created yesterday).
ETA (8/12/14): Some minor edits made!
Disclaimer: I don't own Ice Age, sadly.
Summary: Diego, Manny, and Sid: the weirdest herd ever. Shouldn't be surprising that the members might be weird, too. Right?
The Nature of Things
"Come on, Manny, what happened to looking out for each other?"
"Forget it. And when I said that, I wasn't referring to helping you trick some females into liking you."
"But Manny-"
"I said no, alright? You remember that thing I said to you before?"
"No, but-"
"I said 'Hey, if you find a mate in life, you should be loyal.' Remember that?"
"But Manny-"
"No, Sid. Go find some other way to impress your lady friends. I'm not helping you."
Sid sighed, then scampered off, presumably to find some way to coerce some female sloth - or sloths, as was usually the case - into thinking he was actually mating material. Yeah, right.
...Well, okay, Sid wasn't all that bad once you got past the fungus, matted fur, the smell, the funny proportion of his eyes, the...hm. Maybe he should have thought about that before thinking it.
Before Manny could strain - and possibly scar - his brain thinking of things about Sid that might be considered even marginally attractive, Diego loped up beside him, glancing at him and then at Sid's retreating figure.
"Where's the cheese puff going?"
"Where else? To find mates. Again."
Diego snorted. "Can you imagine him reproducing? Now there's a scary thought."
Manny thought about it for a second.
Yup, mind definitely scarred. Possibly for life. The last thing he needed was more Sids running around, causing trouble. One was enough.
Apparently, Diego thought so too, seeing as he groaned and put a paw over his eyes.
"Geez, I think I just wasted one of my last 8 lives."
Manny quirked an eyebrow. "You're the one who brought it up. Next time keep in mind that not all of us have extra lives."
This time it was Diego's turn to snort. He then stretched out, yawned, and laid down in a spot where the most sunlight seemed to reach and, seemingly content, proceeded to nod off.
Manny turned back to face the direction Sid had left in and frowned. He knew he couldn't force Sid to take on his one-mate-per-animal view, but that didn't mean he had to like it. The sloth saw things his own way, and so did he.
Manny turned back to Diego and frowned again. Diego was the only saber tooth for miles - naturally, herbivore herds picked living spots well away from their natural predators, and their three-man herd was no different. Except for the fact that technically, a predator was a part of their herd.
But even if he and Sid were to one day do something ridiculous like decide that it was okay to go live near a pack of sabers, well, Diego had never made clear what he thought about mates. He had, from what Manny had seen, lived with an all-male pack. But, Manny reasoned, Diego was level-headed. He probably believed in the one mate thing, too.
So why was thinking about Diego and mates making him kind of queasy? It shouldn't, not really. Thinking of Diego's better qualities, ones that a potential mate would find attractive, was far, far less nauseating than thinking about Sid and such qualities.
…Wait, what?
Manny snapped out of it when he heard Sid shuffle back to them, female-less.
Manny gave his best inquiring look. "So how'd the mate thing go?"
Sid looked at him, tilting his head. "You know, you still have a very cruel sense of humor."
Manny nodded. "I know. Now, are you gonna take take a break and nap like the big kitty over here, or what?"
"I am not a kitty. I'm a fierce tiger, okay?" Diego glared at him with one eye, and Manny smirked.
Sid grinned. "Whatever, kitty. Ooh, a dandelion!" Sid pounced on the dandelion, and Diego pounced on Sid, which turned into an impromptu wrestling match that wasn't really a wrestling match since Diego always won.
Manny looked over the rest of his herd with an almost-smile. His herd was weird, he had to agree with that. And maybe some of that weirdness was leaking back to his head. Or, you know, maybe he was catching some of it from Sid.
But whatever the cause of the slight weirdness about Diego, well...he had his herd. And he had a feeling that as long as they were together, everything would be fine, weirdness or not.
"Ow! Hey! I felt teeth on that one! Manny!"
"Oh, come on, you big baby! That barely grazed your neck!"
Manny rolled his eyes. Weirdest herd, indeed.