Summary – "Superior judgement!" Rodney screeched, "what 'superior judgement'? She's writing about us!" Rodney finds something disturbing on one of his scientist's computers. McShep, slight submissiveness, very slight.
Rating – PG13
Disclaimer – If I owned John and Rodney this is what they'd be doing, as this is not what they're doing they probably belong to the people who created them, one of which is not me.
Not So Superior Judgement"Major!" Rodney's cry attracted the attention of everyone in the mess hall. They all tensed for a moment, waiting to see what disaster was befalling them at this particular moment in time. But as Rodney skidded over to the table where John and Radek were talking most went back to their meals. It wasn't as though the vocal scientist would hesitate to let them know if they were needed, after all.
Rodney came to a stop near the table where John and Radek were already standing up.
"Is problem in labs?" Radek asked urgently but Rodney shook his head.
"Yes, well no, well yes but I need the Major to help me with this one Radek."
Radek shot them both an amused and knowing look as John blinked, bewildered. "Ah, I understand completely Rodney."
Rodney froze for a split second, staring at him before crying desperately, "not you too!"
Radek watched in bemusement as Rodney grabbed John by the arm and hauled him out of the mess hall, really, who did they think they were kidding?
John Sheppard had long since learned that if Rodney McKay was running through the halls of Atlantis then it was better to simply follow him until he had time to explain. People could be dying while he demanded an explanation!
Which was why when he followed Rodney into one of the smaller labs he was surprised to see no one on fire, no one screaming and no one obviously dead. In fact, the lab was completely empty.
"What?" He grabbed Rodney by the arm shaking him slightly, "what is it!"
In reply Rodney pushed him down onto a chair behind a computer and unlocked the terminal. "That," he gestured at the screen. "Go on, read that."
John frowned, "'Yes…'" He paused in sight shock, "'please Sir fuck me harder…'?"
"Don't read it out loud," Rodney swatted at him desperately, John ignored him as he continued to read in warped fascination.
"'Yes… need you… please John'." He reared back in shock. "This is porn, porn about us?" Rodney nodded grimly and motioned for him to read on.
"'There, harder, oh God…'" He paused, "I though you were an atheist?"
Rodney spluttered. "That's hardly the point Major!"
John spun round in the chair to look at him, "then what is?"
Rodney gaped at him, "well aside from the fact that a member of my staff-"
"Wait," John held up a hand, "you don't know who it is?"
Rodney shot him an exasperated look, "I don't know yet, though I'd put my money on it being on of the women, but right now that's hardly the point. The point is that whoever it is is writing down their depraved little fantasies about exactly what happens between us on missions, in the transporters and in the jumpers."
John looked up from the screen, "in the jumpers?" He asked in a casual tone.
Rodney glared at him, "I might have known you'd pick up on that." Okay then, maybe not so casual.
"Anyway, yes, in the jumpers, aside from that…" Rodney hesitated and then exclaimed triumphantly, "how about the fact that I'm calling you 'sir'? I'm always written as the bottom."
"Always?" John frowned, "you mean there are more?"
Rodney nodded solemnly.
"Even so," John shook his head, "of course I'm on top!"
Rodney spluttered, "excuse me!"
"Of course I'm on top," John repeated, "you're such a natural bottom."
"Natural bottom!" Rodney bellowed. "Let me ask you something Major, have you met me!"
John waved a hand dismissively, "yes, yes, but in bed, I would have to be in charge."
Rodney's eyes darkened. "Oh really? How about you Major? With your military background and inane flaunting of the rules you're the perfect candidate to be on your knees in front of me, wouldn't you just like to lose control sometimes?"
John shot him a strange look. "Nevertheless," he gestured at the screen, "she obviously sees something we don't and I think we should adhere to her superior judgement when it come to position."
"Superior judgement!" Rodney screeched, "what 'superior judgement'? She's writing about us!"
But John was just nodding at him, obviously sympathetic that Rodney couldn't see what he so clearly could and that caused something hot to spark behind Rodney's eyes.
Hauling the surprised pilot to his feet he muttered, "I'll show you 'natural bottom'" and with that the scientist pinned John against the wall and kissed him harshly.
John's mouth fell open immediately as Rodney kissed him and he moaned as the scientist's thigh spread his legs wide and began to rub at the developing bulge.
"Knees." Rodney ordered when he'd managed to pull back for long enough to gasp the word out.
John dropped immediately and looked up at him, smirking.
"Yes sir."
Rodney's legs buckled for a second before he gained control, moaning frantically as John started to open his fly with his teeth.
Miko Kusanagi pulled away from the door, breath hitching and eyes wide, mentally she ordered the door to lock and remain so.
Forcing herself to walk away, she began to plan a new story. One set in the labs, maybe with John on his knees this time.
After all, maybe her boss had a point. In spite of what she'd thought, the words 'please sir, fuck me harder' had sounded very nice coming out of the Major's mouth.