Hello Rysli community, I'm back!

Yes, I'm aware it's been far too long. But I've had the most stressful 8 months or so and things seem to be finally straightening out for me. So my writing mojo has finally re-appeared.

This is a Rylsi story that sort of pounced on me recently. Please give it a chance. It's not going to make sense at first, (it is called Senseless haha). I think most of you will be very confused after this chapter but… it'll make sense… hopefully. Which isn't bad for a story called 'Senseless' I reckon!

Anyhoo, I have a few other stories on the way. My Jartha story has a few chapters. But I really need to make sure they're all ready. And I have also started writing the sequel for 'So I've Fallen in Love'.

But for now… Enjoy!

Ryan took a small sip of his glass of ice cold water and looked at his watch for the third time in the last five minutes. Sighing, he drummed a quirky rhythm with his fingers on the surface in front of him, the white table cloth almost muting the sound. This was a habit Ryan had taken up as a result of waiting on his sister one too many times, though he liked to think it was because he could play a bit of drums. He scanned the restaurant one more time only to find it hadn't changed, except one couple had perhaps left. Ryan had never been to this place but he decided he liked it. From the high ceilings and the beautiful chandelier, it was plain to see the restaurant was very up market. In addition, a light jazz tune was being played on a sleek, black grand piano sat in the centre of the room. Despite being much more skilled on the guitar, Ryan had always had a soft spot for the piano. Then Ryan's mind shifted to Toby. The man certainly knew his audience…

Just then Ryan felt a cool draft on the back of his neck. He turned to see the polished glass doors swing open to reveal the man himself.

"Speak of the devil." Ryan murmured to himself, grinning as his boyfriend entered the restaurant, removing his scarf. Even if Ryan hadn't caught a glimpse of the trees swaying outside, he would have known it was freezing out. Toby's sandy hair, which was usually immaculate, was ruffled and his cheeks were completely flush. The chocolate brown eyes he owned even looked a bit watery from the wind. These very eyes darted around the restaurant and found Ryan's. Toby then smiled shyly and weaved his way through the tables towards him. Ryan quickly stood up to receive him and still found himself half a head shorter. At over six foot, Toby towered over him.

"At last." Ryan grinned as Toby made an attempt to flatten his hair.

"Let me guess, you turned up ten minutes early again. You may as well turn up late Ryan. I always do." Toby joked, raising his eyebrows in a way that made him look quite adorable. Ryan took in Toby's appearance. The man always dressed well. He had met Toby through Sharpay, who had landed a job with Ralph Lauren about a year ago in fashion design. Toby was effectively her boss but the pair got along well at work. Sharpay had almost insisted that Ryan and Toby went out on a date, determined that they would hit it off. She hadn't been wrong. If he was honest, Ryan had been expecting some airhead that was just obsessed with clothes. It turned out that Toby had actually graduated from art college. His joint passion for design and fashion had led him to Ralph Lauren and he had been climbing the ladder ever since. He was very laid back and very charming. What had really struck Ryan though, was how passionate Toby was about his job. Even now Ryan spied a small sketch book poking out of his satchel. Having seen the contents more the once, he knew this book was full of not just doodles and designs, but every day things that Toby had just seen and desired to sketch. Even Ryan had been sketched once or twice…

"There's no new ones today I'm afraid." Toby said with a chuckle, obviously haven seen Ryan looking at the book. Ryan met Toby's amused expression and couldn't help it any longer. He promptly, tugged the front of Toby's sweater and pulled him in for a short but sweet kiss.

"What was that for?" Toby asked as they drew apart, his cheeks now looking a little redder. Ryan just shrugged.

"As comfortable as I am here, I think we should probably order." Ryan murmured reluctantly. "After all, I have been waiting fifteen minutes." he added jokingly.

"Your own fault Evans."

After the meal, quite a few glasses of expensive wine and Toby paying the bill, the couple found themselves strolling through the frosty streets of New York. It was silent, but contently so. Both were wrapped up in scarves but only Ryan wore gloves. He could see that Toby's hands were clearly cold. He kept rubbing his hands together and blowing on them as his jacket didn't seem to have any pockets. It was a shame to watch Toby's hands getting redder by the minute and he knew all he would have to do was hold his hand to help. However, he wasn't sure how well that would go down. Toby had been very specific on their first date that he wasn't looking for anything serious. He hadn't gone into detail and Ryan didn't want to push him. He had only deduced that Toby's last relationship had been pretty messy and he just needed time. Ryan had had no problem with how casual their relationship was. They went on dates but Toby wasn't keen on doing 'couply' things like holding hands. They slept together now and again but Toby would never stay the night. They talked as much as a any other couple would. Sometimes they could talk for hours. So therefore, Ryan had had no problem with this arrangement… until recently. He found himself automatically reaching for his hand before he remembered and stopped himself. He also often found himself hoping that Toby missed his bus when he left his apartment so he would have to spend the night. He never did. And if ryan was honest with himself, he wasn't sure if there new instincts were just a product of his romantic nature… or if he was beginning to fall for the boy.

Ryan respected what Toby wanted, of course he did. But he was, by nature, a compassionate person. And when he noticed how red raw Toby's hands were becoming he couldn't help but reach out to him. Before he could chicken out, Ryan quickly grasped Toby's left hand and held it tightly in his glove clad right. Ryan had been expecting a number of reactions. He had expected Toby to stiffen, recoil or, if he was really lucky, smile and hold on. However, neither of these happened. As if he had been expecting it, Toby sighed and swung Ryan round to face him, though he seemed to be concentrating on the pavement.

"What is it?" Ryan asked tentatively. He looked around for some kind of clue and noticed they were standing in none other than Times Square.

"I can't do this Ryan." Toby said, finally meeting Ryan's gaze.

"Sorry." Ryan said hastily, letting go of Toby's hand as if it burned. "I didn't mean to… Your hands just looked cold that's all."

"No Ryan. I mean us." Toby said calmly, his brown eyes a mixture of concern, guilt and sympathy. There was a small silence in which a few flakes of snow landed around them.

"I thought we were doing great." Ryan eventually said. It was strange, he had been expecting pain and he felt disbelief more than anything.

"We were." Toby nodded, taking Ryan's other hand. "You've been so great Ryan. Letting me take things slow and everything. A true gentleman." he smiled and Ryan couldn't help but smile back.

"But, I think that's all we can be. Casual. And not even because of what happened. I've had a great time with you and everything but… something's missing." Toby said softly. He looked at Ryan's worriedly and Ryan could see he was genuinely afraid of hurting him. Ryan wasn't even sure if he was hurting him. It hadn't really sunk in…

"Please tell me what you're thinking." Toby said quickly, giving Ryan's hands a small squeeze. "I thought you wanted things to go further and I wasn't sure if I'd be doing you some damage if I cut things off…" he rambled. Ryan looked at his companion in surprise. Toby was one of the smoothest talkers he had met. This man did not ramble… ever.

"You're really quite worried about me aren't you." Ryan grinned cheekily. Why was it so easy to joke about this? Judging by the confused look on his face, Toby was wondering the same thing.

"Yeah I am." Toby said, biting his lip nervously.

"I did want things to go further." Ryan said slowly, trying to decipher his thoughts. "I mean, you're amazing. And I feel…"

Toby kept his gaze fixed on Ryan as he fought to find the right word.

"Okay." Ryan said definitively. A small smile appeared on Toby's face.

"Good. I didn't want to hurt you. You're a good guy Ryan."

The boys let go of each other's hands and naturally leaned in for a close hug.

"If you're really okay with this," Toby said as they let go of each other, "We can be friends right?" he asked anxiously.

"Do I have a choice? " Ryan joked. "I've heard you and Sharpay are joined at the hip at work."

This broke the tension between them and Toby's concerned look disappeared as he laughed.

"Speaking of which…" Ryan murmured. His phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket. "That's her."

"How many times do I have to tell you guys. The whole psychic thing is too creepy." Toby remarked, wrinkling his nose. Ryan just smirked and read the text from his sister.

"Big news! Come round so I can tell you. I need to see your face when I tell you this! Xxx"

By the time Ryan reached Sharpay's block, the snow was coming down a lot heavier. Luckily, Sharpay had managed to flirt her way into getting an apartment near Times Square so she could go and see the shows she wanted with ease.

"Eeew. You could have shaken yourself off on the stairs." was Sharpay's first reaction when she saw him. Admittedly, he was covered head to toe in snow and she probably didn't want him anywhere near her favourite pink satin pyjamas.

"Sorry Shar. I've got some news too." he said, taking one step inside.

"Wait!" Sharpay ordered, running down her hallway. She returned with a massive hair dryer.

"Aw seriously Shar?"

"Hold still!"

Once all the offending snow was successfully melted onto Ryan, he was allowed inside.

"Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt your date but I had to tell you." Sharpay said excitedly as she practically skipped into her living room, Ryan trailing (and dripping) behind.

"Well it's ok anyway. We sort of broke up." Ryan muttered. Sharpay stopped dead in hr tracks and turned round in surprise.

"Aw Ry! Are you ok?" she asked, waiting until Ryan had removed his sodden jacket to give him a hug. The hug lasted all of of two seconds before she stepped out of it in surprise.

"You're ok." she announced, before he had even opened his mouth.

"Kind of…" Ryan said slowly.

"But… I thought you really liked him." Sharpay said, looking up at him in confusion.

"Me too." Ryan nodded in agreement. "I'm kind of sad. I kind of wanted this one to go further. But I actually feel ok about it." he said. It wasn't even a lie. Maybe Toby had been right. Maybe something had been missing.

"So we can still all go and see Chicago next week?" Sharpay checked, looking even more concerned than when Ryan had told her he had just broken up with his boyfriend.

"Yeah I'm sure it'll be fine." Ryan laughed, giving his sister's shoulders a squeeze before settling on her plush white sofa.

"So, tell me what this big news is. As big as mine?" Ryan sighed as he sunk comfortably into the sofa.

"Well, I don't know if you're really in a romantic mood now… but some people we know are getting married." Sharpay grinned.

"Who?" Ryan asked, though he was almost certain who it could be.

"Troy and Gabriella!"