Disclaimer: That '70s Show copyright The Carsey-Werner Company, LLC and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, LLC.
Author's Note: Dedicated to Prissy (nannygirl), the queen of Red and Kitty fanfic.
ONE DIFFERENCE:
KITTY IS PREGNANT
Kitty Forman was eight-months pregnant, bulbous in body and hormonal in mind, and the whole deal had sent Eric to hell.
His friends kept burning him, saying how Eric would soon be replaced by a real boy. Worse, Fez wouldn't shut up about how attractive Eric's mother was. "Sleeping with a pregnant woman is good luck in my country," Fez said repeatedly. "Brings fertility to the land. Laurie has given me permission to woo Miss Kitty—if she'll have me."
That last bit had to be Laurie's idea. She and Fez were married and both were living in the den. They'd moved in six months ago, and having her in the house was a disaster. Eric couldn't even pace in the living room—as he was doing now—without her commentary.
"Buck up, little brother," she said from the couch. "Get yourself a beer or something and enjoy the show."
She and Fez were cuddled together, watching Three's Company. Fez's gaze was glued to the TV, and he said, "Yes, Chrissy's boobs are extra bouncy in this episode."
"Gotta love Chrissy's boobs," Hyde said. He was seated in Red's pea-soup green chair. One of Red's beers sat casually in his hand, but had Red been here to witness the scene, his foot would've gone more than casually up Hyde's ass.
"'Buck up'?" Eric stopped pacing by the bookcase. "How can I buck up when an other-dimensional portal is opening in our house?" Red's cheerful exit this morning with Kitty had sent Eric's heart into spasm, and it hadn't settled down, even a half-hour later. His parents were on their way to the obstetrician. His mother required more visits due to her age, and Red seemed to enjoy going with her.
"The portal's getting bigger by the day," Eric said, staring at Hyde, "can't you feel it? Why am I the only one who can feel it?" He knew he sounded insane. Probably looked the part, too, when he began pulling at his hair. "Oh, God... why?"
Laurie sighed. "You need help, and I mean that sincerely, not as an insult." She pulled a lighter from her jeans pocket and gestured to Hyde. He pulled a joint from his own pocket, passed it to her, and she lit it. "I've got just the thing for you, Mr. Mopey." She got off the couch and brought the joint to Eric. "Puff on this and call me in the morning."
Eric's eyes fixed on the joint. "Now we're lighting up in the living room?"
"Eric, Mom and Dad won't be back for an hour. Her doctor's always a half-hour late—"
"'Eric'?" He gaped at her. "Not 'dweeb' or 'moron' or 'idiot'?" She'd just widened the portal further, and he grabbed her shoulders. "Laurie, you gotta stop this. Stop being nice to me already. Just be your bitchy self and insult me. I can't take it anymore."
She patted his cheek. "I'll get you that beer."
"No!" He hit her hand away. "No beer, no pot, no nothing!" He burst into the kitchen, screaming, and prayed she didn't follow.
Hyde was laughing, and considering his plans today, he was glad for the entertainment. "You really got him, man."
Laurie smiled wickedly and sat back down on the couch. "Yeah. Who knew being nice could be so naughty and fun?"
She passed the lit joint to Hyde, and he allowed himself a drag before pinching it out. Forman seemed to be losing his mind, but Hyde had a partial solution to that problem.
Two events had cemented Forman to the house: his mom's pregnancy and Red's heart attack. Though Red was finally taking care of himself with gusto, and the docs were impressed with his progress, Forman's presence kept Mrs. Forman happy—and a happy Mrs. Forman kept Red healthy. Hyde's presence, however, was a different story.
Forman was trapped here. He couldn't go to college, at least not yet. He existed in a limbo where he was being underappreciated, partly because Hyde always got to the chores before he did. Hyde could quit doing them, but that would add more stress to the Formans.
And Hyde refused to be an ungrateful freeloader. Bottom line was the family didn't have enough room for more than three kids. One had to go.
Eric had fled to the basement and found Donna there—and only Donna. No Kelso or Jackie to continue the torture. He thanked the Force for his good fortune and sought comfort in his fiancée's arms.
"I can't take my life," he said against her shoulder. "Would you take it? Please?"
"Uh... no," she said, "but I'll listen to you complain."
"Good enough." He sucked in a deep breath and began. "This is all Hyde's fault. Paranoid, impulsive, nurse-screwing Hyde."
"Hyde's fault?"
"If he'd just trusted Jackie wasn't cheating on him with Kelso," he said through clenched teeth, "then all these dominoes wouldn't have fallen. No Hyde fighting with Kelso on the water tower. No Kelso falling off the water tower. No Fez being caught by the cops that night. No Immigration Control discovering Fez's lapsed green card. No Laurie marrying Fez to keep him in the country. No marriage announcement giving my dad a heart attack. You and I could've gone to Madison together."
"Eric, we'll get there," she said and tightened her hold around his back. "Your dad's getting better all the time, and your new sister or brother'll be born soon. We'll get there."
"But I want to be there now. I'm stuck in this gulag with my sister, who keeps making out with Fez all over the house. Red took my college money away from me again after the heart attack..." He sat up and searched for something to hurt. He settled on a box of Kleenex and snatched it off the wooden spool table. "He took the money because I chose to stick around and help him—I mean, how's that for gratitude?" His fingers dug into the paper box and ripped it open. "Red said the money will go to the new baby, to prevent him from being a dumbass like me."
Donna coughed as tissue dust flew out. "That's so ridiculous. Red doesn't even know if the baby's a boy."
"Not really the point, Donna." Eric waved his hands in attempt to disperse the dust. "Though I am sick of Red calling the kid 'slugger' whenever he speaks to it through my mom's stomach."
"At least the nursery's painted a gender-neutral yellow."
"Yeah. Thanks to Joanne of all people," he said, and Donna gave him a look. With his mother less available due to the pregnancy, Donna and Joanne had grown closer. They bonded over their shared feminism, went to ERA rallies together, and barbecued. Donna's newfound protection of her could be quite fierce, and Eric was quick to clarify his meaning. "It surprised me Red actually listened to her. You know how they get along."
"Like, not at all?"
He nodded. "Exactly."
"I still remember that phone call," she said. "I heard your dad's voice from the hallway, screaming at my dad through the receiver to 'bring his ass over here'. Phones should come with a volume knob. My dad's ear rang for a week after that."
"Red should come with a volume knob." Eric leaned back on the couch and slid his arm around Donna's shoulders. "I'm just glad he converted Laurie's room to the nursery instead of mine. Mom put her swollen foot down on that one. And then she wandered through the house like a ghost, moaning, 'Blue or pink, blue or pink... blue or freakin' pink!' for the next week."
"Because she wants the sex of the baby to be a surprise?"
"Yeah, and it almost brought her to a hormone-fueled breakdown. Red didn't know how to stop it. Donna, he was so addled that he couldn't even call me 'dumbass'. I suggested the color purple, and he said, 'Shut it, what's-your-name.'"
Donna covered her mouth, but it didn't hide her laughter. "Could've been worse. He could've called you 'Foreplay'."
"According to my mom, he doesn't know that word exists."
"Okay, this conversation just took a nasty turn," she said, and her nose wrinkled with disgust. Eric's face matched the sentiment, but fortunately, neither of them had to work at changing the subject. Hyde's boots thudded on the basement's steps and gave them a way out.
"Oh, uh..." Hyde approached the couch hesitantly, "are you two gonna be here a while?"
"Maybe," Eric said. "Why?
"No reason." Hyde vanished into his room. The lock to his door clicked shut, and Donna stared at Eric, as if to say, What the hell was that about?
Eric had no idea, and he didn't care. "You ready to go see Laser Styx with me, m'lady? I can't believe it's finally happening."
"Actually," she said, "I'm really curious why Hyde wanted us to leave."
"He didn't say that."
"He implied it."
"Great," Eric pushed himself off the couch, "now I've got you arguing with me and refusing to see Laser Styx."He charged out of the basement. Bad enough he had to see the matinee show because it was five dollars cheaper, and five dollars was something he could ill-afford to waste nowadays. But now he'd be sitting there alone with no make-out opportunities.
"Eric, come on," Donna said. She'd caught up to him outside, halfway up the stone staircase. "You need to calm down. You're acting as wacky as your pregnant mom." She planted a hand on his chest. "Do you have heartburn and swollen ankles, too?"
Eric slid his fingers over her hand. "Well, actually, if you're nice enough to me today," a grin spread over his lips, "something else might sw—"
"Yeah, don't finish that thought," she said. "I know where your pervy mind is going, but if you're nice enough to me, I might just be nice to you."
"Lady," he moved in close and pecked her lips, "you've got yourself a deal."
Hyde managed to pack his green duffel bag despite Jackie's interference. He'd put in a pair of socks, and she'd take out three of his shirts, but in the end she gave up—at least with her hands. Her mouth was still going, arguing with him. He'd hoped to sneak out and set himself up at his new place before she knew what happened.
No such luck.
"Steven, you don't have to do this," she said, but he zipped up the duffel bag's last pocket, intending that to be his response. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she glared at him. She was worried, and he understood why. But she didn't have to worry, man. He'd been taking care of himself long before he came to live with the Formans.
"Look," he said, "I've overstayed my welcome. They're havin' a new kid. They don't need me crowding 'em."
"Where are you gonna stay?"
"Roy's... until I can find a place with a less disturbed roommate."
She groaned, in either defeat or revulsion. "This is ridiculous." Then she hightailed it out of his room.
Where she was going, he wasn't sure. Maybe to ask Bob to make room in the Pinciottis' attic for him. For too many reasons, that wouldn't be happening. Sure, he and Jackie would have an easier time fooling around. She'd been living with the Pinciottis' the last half year, but he was nineteen. His cousins and uncles had all been all on their own by that age. Time to carry on the Flanagan-Hyde tradition.
He gave his room one last glance before leaving. He'd miss the place—and the people in it—but he had to move on.
Red was more than pleased by Kitty's doctor's visit this morning. Dr. Sheets said the baby's heart sounded as strong as an ox, and the latest ultrasound showed the baby had maneuvered itself into birth position. Red pulled the doctor aside afterward to get him to spill the baby's sex, but Kitty intercepted with a shrill, "No!"
Red relented. Girl or boy, he'd be happy—as long as the kid was strong. Kitty's record of the "fetal kick count" was exactly as it should be according to Dr. Sheets. Red placed his hand on Kitty's stomach in the doctor's office, and their little slugger nearly knocked his palm away. Eric had never done that.
Once they were back home, Red cut up a fresh pineapple. Kitty demanded to eat one at least twice a week, and she did so today. He thanked God for small favors. Her other food cravings were more elaborate, things he couldn't possibly conjure up for her.
Unlike him, she was a cooking dynamo. She'd doubled her output during her pregnancy, but now she had to stay in bed more often. They relied on Steven increasingly to cook for her and the whole family, something Steven didn't even seem to realize he was doing. Red would have to reward him somehow because, unlike Eric, Steven was maturing into a responsible young man. Maybe they'd go to a car show in Kenosha together next week.
After one last cut, the pineapple was plated and ready to go. Red climbed up the stairs carefully with it and presented the plate to his wife. She snatched it from him gratefully and dug in.
The fork he'd brought went ignored in his hand. She popped chunk after pineapple chunk into her mouth, and he enjoyed the sight. In fact, he'd enjoyed most of her pregnancy—except for her crazy mood swings. He was a happier man than he'd been twenty-five years ago, as hard as that was for him to believe. Little moments had become precious to him, like watching his wife eat. But this particular moment was disturbed by a frantic knock on the door.
"Mr. Forman, please let me in!" The voice belonged to Steven's loud girlfriend, Jackie. She was liable to make the baby start bawling inside Kitty's stomach, so Red opened the door. "Ste—Steven's moving out," she said breathlessly.
"He's what?" Red said but made sure to keep his breathing even. He didn't want to aggravate Kitty—or his heart.
"He's moving in with his boss."
Kitty didn't quite put down her plate of pineapple, but she sat up more in the bed. "His boss? He's practically a stranger!"
"He's not a stranger, Mrs. Forman," Jackie said. "He's just strange. Roy was Steven's 'big brother' when his deadbeat dad ran off on him."
"Well—well, I don't care!" Kitty left the pineapple on her nightstand and tried to get out of bed. Red rushed to her side and helped her. "Red," she said and gripped his hand, "Steven needs a family and a mother to nurture him. He can't go."
"Sure he can, Kitty. You'll be nurturing our new son—or daughter—in a few weeks, and our old son refuses to leave."
Kitty's eyes became as hard as her grip on his hand. "Do you want Steven to leave?"
"No. He's the only real man in the house besides me."
"Then convince him not to go."
"Steven's already gone," Jackie said.
"No," Kitty said with a voice full of tears. "Red—"
If she said anything more with that pained voice, the cells of Red's heart would die off, one-by-one. "Jackie," he said, "you know the address of this Roy?"
Jackie did, and Red told her to follow him. They hurried downstairs to what used to be his den, now the love nest of his daughter and her foreigner husband. They weren't touching each other, much to Red's relief, but exchanging hair-care tips, of all the damn things.
"You," Red said, pointing to Laurie, "go upstairs and keep on an eye on your mother. I have to leave for a little while. And you," he pointed to Fez, "don't touch Kitty's feet."
"But they are so huge!" Fez said.
Red glowered. "So's my foot, and it'll lodge in that small ass of yours if you don't keep your mitts off my wife."
Fez visibly swallowed. He'd gotten the message.
"Come on, Jackie," Red said, and they left the house together. Steven's El Camino wasn't parked in its usual spot, on the street behind the garage. "What on this Goddamned earth possessed him move out?"
"He said he overstayed his welcome," Jackie said.
"Dumbass. Eric's the one who's overstaying his welcome."
"I know!"
Red heaved a sigh and shook his head; then he charged toward the driveway. Life was supposed to calm down in a man's fifties, but his kept getting crazier and crazier.
Laser Floyd had been a rocking ninety-minute, laser-filled respite, but returning home plunged Eric back into the burning pits of hell. Fez accosted him and Donna at the door. He seemed out of breath, and his hair was askew, as if he'd been pacing and tugging on his hair. Had he taken on Eric's freak-out mechanism?
"HydemovedoutHydemoveout," Fez said and grasped Eric and Donna's shoulders.
"Whoa, whoa. Slow down, Fez," Eric said.
Donna patted Fez's hand on her shoulder. "Yeah, try to separate out your words."
"I can't!" Fez shouted. "Miss Kitty's hormones have infected me! She's upset, and so I'm upset, and I need to eat something with sugar in it right now, damn it!"
Donna rummaged in her jacket pocket and pulled out a box of Milk Duds. "Will these d—"
"Gimme!" Fez swiped the box from her and poured the remaining Milk Duds into his mouth. He chewed like a maniac, with chocolate and spit dribbling over his lips. Eric and Donna took the opportunity to guide him deeper into the house, and he slumped onto the living room couch. "Ai... Hyde is gone."
"Gone where?" Donna said.
"Away. Forever."
"You mean he moved out?" Eric said.
"Yes, that's what I've been telling you, you sonuvabitch! Don't you ever listen?" Fez shook the empty box of Milk Duds and frowned. "He went to live with his boss, Roy."
"Roy? Oh, God..." Donna grabbed Eric's arm. "We have to do something. A little Roy goes a long way. Next thing we know, Hyde's at the reservoir, pulling an Ophelia."
"Um..." Eric flicked his eyes away from her, "an 'Oh, feel ya'? Like sympathy or—"
"Shakespeare, Eric. He'll drown himself like Ophelia did in Hamlet. We read that play in eleventh grade."
"Yeah, well, I was a little busy back then," he said, "you know, trying to get over you."
She waved at him dismissively. "Whatever. We need to get the phone book... unless you know Roy's address."
Eric shrugged, but Fez said, "Oh, I know where he lives. He invites me over every month to play pinochle. We bet with peanuts, and the loser gets his knuckles slapped."
Eric and Donna stared at each other, each with the same question in their eyes: which one of the wackadoos had come up with that idea? The answer didn't matter, though. All that mattered was getting to Hyde before the idea of living with Roy cemented in his mind.
"Give us the address," Eric and Donna said together.
Hyde had finished unpacking when Roy's buzzer system let out a piercing wail. Hyde covered his ears and shouted, "Is it always like that?"
"Oh, yeah," Roy said with an itchy-looking blanket in his arms. It was nearly the same color as his hair, a pale yellow "Thing's been broken for months. Landlord keeps saying he'll get right on it, but I guess 'right on it' means never." He left the blanket on the living room couch and answered the buzzer. Static answered him back with some half-formed words cutting through. They seemed enough for Roy because he pressed the door-release button.
"You know who it is?" Hyde said.
"No."
"Then why'd ya let him in?"
"He sounded angry."
Hyde stared at Roy with an unspoken burn scorching his throat. The man was almost forty-years-old and ran the kitchen of an upscale hotel. He should've had more common sense. "Do you have a bat?" Hyde said.
Roy smiled, and his cheeks flushed, easy to see with his fair skin. "You wanna play some baseball? We haven't done that since you were a kid. I still have that old pitching mitt—"
"No, I meant for bashing in some skulls, man, in case you let up a psycho-killer."
His smile fell. "Oh, well, I—"
Too late. The doorbell rang along with succession of heavy knocks. Roy rushed to the door and was about to unlock it when Hyde grabbed his wrist.
"Maybe you wanna look through the peephole first?" Hyde said.
"Right." Roy peered through the peephole, and his smile returned. "It's your girlfriend and some bald guy."
"Red?" Hyde pushed Roy aside and unlocked the door himself.
Red and Jackie stomped into the living room, and their reactions to the place weren't pleasant. Jackie let out a theatrically drawn-out, "Eww!" and Red said, "Steven, pack your shit. We're going home."
Hyde crossed his arms over his chest and backed up toward the couch. "I am home."
"Oh, this is not your home." Jackie marched toward him—then past him to the couch. She picked up the yellow blanket and rubbed her cheek against it. "Ugh! This is gonna give me a rash." She dropped the blanket back on the couch. "Steven, we can't make-out here. This place is a middle-aged bachelor pad and a total turn-off."
Hyde and Roy both glanced around the living room. The furniture was leather, the rug was shag, the shelves were stocked with How to Get Women books, and everything looked like it was third-hand, picked up from the sidewalk after someone else had trashed it.
"Not only that," Jackie continued, "you just know Roy's gonna watch us to pick up kissing tips."
"It's true," Roy said.
Red cleared his throat, as if the discussion embarrassed him. "More importantly, we need your help around the house, especially with a new kid on the way. I didn't clothe you and feed you for the last three years for you to run out when things get a little tough."
"I'm not running out," Hyde said. "I'm makin' room."
"For what?" Red said. "For me to serve Raisin Bran for dinner to a full house? For dirty clothes to pile up? You're the best cook we have after Kitty. You do laundry and chores without complaint—unlike Eric. Your leaving is gonna put more stress on the family than your absence..." he tapped his chest, "and on my ticker."
Hyde smirked. "You takin' guilt lessons from Mrs. Forman?"
Red didn't get a chance to answer. The buzzer system let out another wail, and all ears went covered but Roy's. He answered the buzzer, and a static-bathed voice came through. Hyde couldn't make out any words, but Roy pressed the door-release button.
"You got any idea who you just let up?" Hyde said.
"No," Roy said, "but he sounded scared."
"Great." Hyde subtly maneuvered himself in front of Jackie. If this next guest was a psycho-killer, he'd have to get through Hyde first. But Jackie took his move as an invitation to embrace him from behind. Her arms glided around his waist, her hands locked on his stomach, and her body pressed up against his back. "Jackie—"
"You can't stay here, Steven," she said.
"You want me to kick Eric out?" Red said. "Just say the word, and he's gone. You can have his room."
Hyde sucked in a deep breath and sighed. Had he done that much around the Formans' house? He'd been doing chores there for so long, like washing the dishes and cleaning out the garage, that he didn't notice. It was the right thing to do, man, helping out the family. Because the Formans had become his family. That was why he'd moved out, to help them. But rarely had he encountered Red sounding—or looking—so desperate.
"All right," Hyde said, "I'll move back in."
A grin slid across Red's face. He cupped Hyde's shoulder and said, "Glad to hear it, son."
"Yay!" Jackie let go of Hyde's waist and clapped.
Roy clapped, too. Hyde wasn't sure if Roy understood what was actually happening, but he would once Hyde "packed his shit," as Red had put it.
Jackie began the process for him. She unzipped Hyde's duffel bag on the shag carpet and tossed in anything of his she could find. Every move she made seemed like a celebration. She let out a loud, "That goes back home, and that goes back home," each time she put something in the duffel bag.
But the celebration was cut short by the front door bursting open. Roy hadn't closed it all the way before, and Forman dashed inside, screaming, "YOU CAN'T LEAAAAAAAAAAAVE!"
He landed at Hyde's feet and hugged Hyde's legs. "You can't move out, man," Forman said, half-sobbing. "You're all I have left!"
Donna arrived in time to hear that last bit, and she coughed purposefully.
Forman glanced at her, "And you, of course," then resumed hugging Hyde's legs. "Please don't go. I can't be in that house with my sister and Fez tainting it with their doings—and Red and my mom fawning over their new son. I need someone who cares enough to at least burn me."
"Calm down, Jan," Hyde said and pried Forman off him. Forman was in Brady Bunch territory, inching dangerously close to whining, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!" and there was no going back from that. "I'm staying in the house."
"Oh, thank God," Forman said. He remained kneeling and lowered his face to his hands.
"You," Red nudged Forman with his foot, "you're not allowed near the new baby."
"What?" Forman finally stood up. "Why?"
"Babies pick up behavior," Red said. "I don't want him to learn how to be twitchy like you."
Jackie squeezed Hyde's hand. "See, Steven? That's another reason the Formans needs you. To give the new baby a proper role model."
Roy nodded. "That's one reasonI wanted you around."
Hyde said nothing, but he'd made the right decision. The Formans, including Forman, needed him to stick around, just as much as he needed all of them.
Two weeks later, Mrs. Forman went into labor.
She was giving birth at Point Place Memorial Hospital, where she'd worked as a nurse until the sixth month of her pregnancy. Inside the delivery room with her were Red and her sister Paula. Hyde had caught a glimpse of them before they disappeared with a doctor behind a closed door.
Nearby in the waiting room, Hyde and Jackie were sitting together, hand-in-hand. Jackie's head rested on his shoulder, and their closeness relaxed him. He didn't have a lot of experience with this sort of thing. All his cousins were older than he was, and he'd never been asked to babysit anything that breathed—just beers and a motorcycle and, one time, a trailer. Kelso had told him tales of caring for his little brothers, but Kelso's stories and having the actual experience weren't the same.
Fez and Laurie were also in the waiting room, playing with stuffed animals they'd bought for the new kid. One was a blue teddy bear in case the baby was a boy, and the other was a pink bear if the baby was a girl. Hyde watched Fez and Laurie's goofing off until it became a dirty, simulated make-out between the stuffed animals.
Hyde's attention drifted to safer entertainment, to Forman, who was pacing through the waiting room. His fingers were crossed on both hands, and he kept chanting, "Please don't be a boy, please don't be a boy, please don't be a boy..."
"Eric, calm down," Donna said. She was seated in the middle of Forman's pacing route. "Your mom will still love you even if she has another son."
"Just less," Laurie said. "No more crustless sandwiches. You're a big boy now."
Forman barely seemed to register the burn, but he should've been happy about it. Laurie was acting more like her normal self toward him. She must've been nervous about the impending new arrival. Either that, or burning Forman was her way of lending emotional support.
Hyde shut his eyes. They'd all been in the waiting room for over three hours, and it was the middle of the night. He'd welcome a nap. Jackie had fallen asleep on his shoulder, and he wanted to join her in whatever dreamland she'd gone to. He laid his cheek gently on top of her head, but Forman's litany grew louder—"Please don't be a boy, please don't be a boy, please don't be a boy!"—preventing Hyde from napping.
"Keep it down, will ya?" Hyde said, but moments later, Forman's aunt Paula burst into the waiting room. She was clothed in hospital scrubs and a smile as bright as a neon sign.
Hyde shrugged his shoulder, and Jackie stirred until she woke. Fez, Laurie, and Donna all stood up, and Forman froze in his tracks like a cornered animal.
"It's a girl," Paula said. "A beautiful, perfect girl."
The room erupted in cheers, including Hyde's own, but Forman fell to his knees, crying, "YES! YEEEEESSSSSSS!" He flung his arms around Donna's legs then sobbed into them.
"Eric's been doing a lot of that lately," Jackie whispered.
Hyde slipped his arm around her waist. The joy of the moment had caught up with him, but he still managed a laugh at Forman's expense. "Yup."
Eric went with Laurie into their mother's hospital room. Kitty was holding the rosy-cheeked newborn in her arms, and Red was gazing at both of them with the most tranquil expression Eric had ever witnessed. The sight made him pause before approaching the bed, but the lure of his new sister was too much to resist. Her tiny fist was wrapped around Red's thumb, just as Red's heart was likely wrapped around her little finger.
"Hi, baby!" Laurie said. She touched their sister's pudgy forearm gently. "She's so pretty."
"Yeah..." Eric grinned and almost lost the ability to speak. He was full of emotions he didn't expect. "What's her name?"
Their mother had wanted to wait until the baby was born before naming it. She didn't want to burden it with a name that didn't suit its personality, but now that the baby was here, Eric hoped they'd come up with something.
"Brenda," Red said. "Her name is Brenda," and his voice took on a dreamy quality. "We chose a name starting with 'B' to honor our mothers and Kitty's father."
Kitty kissed the top of Brenda's head. "My first choice was 'Blenda, a traditional Swedish name."
"I wasn't going to name my kid after a kitchen appliance," Red said without any hint of annoyance, and Eric prayed his father's newfound serenity lasted longer than a few days.
"Can I hold her?" Laurie said, and Kitty passed Brenda into her arms.
Eric waited patiently, for about two minutes, before he asked for his turn. Laurie was reticent to give Brenda up, but their mother said, "Eric needs to bond with your new sister, too." Laurie made a face but handed Brenda over to him.
Red helped Eric position his arms properly to support Brenda's head, and Red did so without insulting him. Eric stared into his infant sister's blue eyes and felt a startling connection to her. Had Laurie experienced this with him when he'd been born? Probably not. She'd only been two.
"She's so small," Eric said. "I can't believe these things grow up to be us."
"She's a baby, dumbass," Laurie said. "D'uh."
Eric's joy didn't falter at the minor burn. Brenda's birth seemed to have brought the real Laurie out of hibernation, and Eric was relieved. The nice Laurie was unpredictable, but he knew all of the real Laurie's moves.
"Laurie, what did I warn you about?" Kitty said.
"Watch my language around the baby." Laurie peered up at the ceiling and slouched. "Fine, I'm sorry for saying 'd'uh'".
"If I can pass on one gem of wisdom, Brenda," Eric said sweetly, "it's don't listen to your big sister. She's the devil."
"All right, that's it." Red took Brenda from Eric's arms. "Both of you, out."
Laurie altered her voice to a baby-like timbre, which sounded ridiculous with an actual baby in the room "Even me, Daddy?
Red spared her a glance, "Even you," before returning his eyes to Brenda.
"Fine!" Laurie shoved open the door and stomped out.
Eric caught up with her and laughed. "Looks like you're no longer the favorite."
"Shut up!"
Laurie returned to her seat in the waiting room where Fez comforted her. Eric, though, slowed his steps and relished the moment. His parents having another kid would work out after all. Finally, Laurie knew what it was like to be number two.
"So, how is she?" Donna said. She'd hurried to his side and gripped his sleeve. "Does she look anything like you?"
"I think she may have my eyebrows."
"Your eyebrows?"
"Yeah, she seemed to waggle them a bit," he said, and Donna laughed before pulling him into a hug. "Her name's Brenda... and she's great. Really, really great."
Donna held him tighter. "I can't wait to meet her."
"I think you'll like her."
"You already love her."
"Yeah, I do," he said and nestled his chin over Donna's shoulder. They stood in the waiting room like that together, but all he saw was fluffy white clouds and sunshine. The fires raging inside his mind had stopped torturing him, replaced by a blossoming feeling that life was finally, blessedly, starting to go his way.