Isabella: This is something I've been thinking about for quite some time, and I thought it would be cool! What if Edward ruled the country? How emotionally and physically scared would everyone turn out?! Read as the madness unfolds!!

Dog: Disclaimer: Isabella Butterfly does and will never own FMA, because if she did...the world of FMA would crumble into tiny pieces.

Isabella: I hate you, Dog. I hate all of you, but mostly you.

Dog: (Pees himself)

Cat and Mouse: This is the 1st chapter! Enjoy!

Fuhrer Bradley woke up in his blue tulip-patterned PJs, pulling on his eye patch and getting ready for the day.

"Now, what's on the menu for today? Oh yes! My vacation starts today!" The man said happily, straightening his uniform top.

He walked into the office that was conveniently located right next to his military dorm, with his secretary Juliet Douglas, or Sloth, greeting him.

"Good morning, sir. Your dry-cleaned pants are on the couch," She said.

"Thank you, and a good morning it truly is! I'm starting my vacation today!" The Fuhrer said, his mustache curling up as he smiled.

"Did you remember to pick your replacement?" Sloth asked, looking over some papers.

Umm...

"You didn't, did you?" Sloth asked knowingly, leaning her head on her fist propped up on the table.

"O-Of course I did! What kind leader would I be if I wasn't always on top of things!" He exclaimed, holding his fist in the air.

"Whatever, you just better pick someone quick, the meeting starts in...15 minutes," Sloth said.

"Then I shall make my way to the meeting room!" The Fuhrer said, turning and leaving the room.

Sloth sweat dropped.

"Sir, pants."

"I know," The Fuhrer grumbled, walking back into the room and grabbing his pants.

"Oh shit!! I completely forgot about my replacement!" The Fuhrer exclaimed, running his fingers threw his mustache

"Who should I pick?! Haruko?! No, Archer? No, too creepy. Kimbly? ...no.." He said to himself, thinking of candidates to take his place of control while he was on vacation.

Roy Mustang walked into the office with a grin on his face.

"Good morning Colonel, sir," Riza said.

"A good morning to you too my dear lieutenant! What a wonderful day in our beautiful country it is!!" He said enthusiastically.

Havoc peered up at Roy from his paperwork.

"What's with you? Your not usually this cheery or patriotic," Havoc asked.

Roy smiled wider and sat at his desk.

"Well men, do you know what today is?" Roy asked happily.

"Tuesday?" Falman answered.

"Happy Tuesday!" Fuery cheered.

"The 2 month point of Havoc not having a date?" Breda asked, looking up from his paper.

Havoc sulked. Poor EmoHavoc...

"No you idiots! Today is the day that the Fuhrer picks his replacement for while he's on vacation! That means being president of the country for 3 months!!" Roy cheered, eyes shinning as he squealed like a little girl getting a pony.

Fuery frowned and hung his head in disappointment.

"And?" Havoc asked.

"The Colonel thinks he's going to get the job," Riza said.

Roy raised his fist.

"Because I am!! I'm the best candidate! Imagine, the country at my finger-tips. There will be peace!! There will be order!! THERE WILL BE MINISKIRTS!!!" Roy declared, standing on top his desk.

Riza took out her gun, making bullet holes around the Colonel's desk.

"What about everyone else?" Havoc asked.

"Well, Haruko may be some competition, but Archer is too creepy and Kimbly...no..." Roy said.

"Now if you're all done, TO THE MEETING ROOM!!" Roy exclaimed, zooming out of the office.

"Does this mean no happy Tuesday?" Furey asked sadly.

"BARK!" Black Hayate responded, wagging his tail.

Roy waited anxiously as the crowd of military officers gathered in the meeting room.

Fuhrer Bradley stood in front of the crowd on the stage, Sloth standing next to him.

The room quieted down and waited for the Fuhrer to speak.

The Fuhrer coughed nervously.

"Fellow officers of the state, as you all know, I will be taking a long, 3 month vacation. During this period of time I will be in need of a replacement Fuhrer. I thought long, hard, and thouroughly (sp?) of whom I would choose, and my decision is as clear as day, perfect and durable. The person whom I chose is responsible, trustworthy, a hard worker-"

Sloth coughed. "Ahem-Stop Stalling!-cough!"

The Fuhrer groaned and stared out into the crowd.

"And now to the point. The replacement Fuhrer is..."

Roy started shaking. "Yes...YES!!" He said excitedly.

"Is..."

CLANG!!!

"OUCH!! FUCKING CHRIST!!!"

"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN BEAT YOUR ASS EDWARD ELRIC!!!"

Ed ran into the room. His P.O.-ed mechanic Winry Rockbell chasing after him with her deadly wrench of doom. Al ran behind them, attempting to stop the arguing. Ed stopped and waved his arms at the girl.

"Ch-Chill out Winry! It's not like I meant to break it!!"

"Then WHAT, Edward, happened to my auto-mail?!"

"...I slipped?"

"WRONG ANSWER, ALCHEMY FREAK!!"

CLANG!!!

"Why can't we all just get along?!?!" Al cried.

The officers watched in amusement, some snickering at Ed's weakness against a girl.

The Fuhrer got an idea!

Saved by the midget!

"THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST EDWARD ELRIC!! He will be our replacement!" He announced, pointing to Ed.

Ed looked at the Fuhrer, ignoring his bleeding skull. "Huh?" he asked.

The officers' jaws dropped.

The Fuhrer rushed over to Ed.

"Congrates my boy! You get to rule the country for the next 3 months! Here's my private dorm room number you can rest and get settled there! My advisors will show you the rest. Goodbye and good luck Seeya later!!" The Fuhrer said, taking off his uniform, a peice of paper and a key, and handing it to Ed.

"Here's one of my spares," The Fuhrer said, giving Ed an eye patch.

The Fuhrer ran out of the room in his underwear, fearing an attack.

Sloth sighed. "I'm out," she said dully, walking out of the room.

Isabella: Roy is so gonna be emo after this...

Cat: DON'T VOTE FOR PEDRO, VOTE FOR ED! ELRIC FOR PRESIDENT!

Mouse: Is Winry gonna be the first lady?

Dog: You have an evil mind Bella,

Isabella: Do we need to get you fixed?

Dog: (Pees himself, again.)