TRC is not mine, which is good because I could never have come up with such a ridiculously huge marketing ploy in the first place. I don't have anything to market, you see. But CLAMP? Hoo, boy.
This contains some super cute sh*t and then some ALMOSTSEXUALHAPPENINGS.
Enjoy, if it's at all possible to do so. And if it's not, maybe...leave? Or you could, I dunno...try to stay and see what happens.
Kurogane burst loudly into the upstairs bedroom with a deep, menacing growl and a glare that could peel paint. However, the curses he was preparing to toss at a certain duplicitous blonde died in his throat at the sight before him. He reluctantly lowered his sword.
Two of the room's three occupants turned in surprise at the entrance of their dark visitor, while the other seemed oblivious. The princess and the idiot were sitting cross-legged on the bed while the demon spawn bounced around in what was most likely unwarranted excitement. It had shiny pink ribbons tied at the base of both ears.
"Ku-Kurogane-san," a wide-eyed Sakura started in a very small voice, apparently afraid that the furious ninja might lash out at her with his massive katana if she were to somehow aggravate him further, "Is something the matter?" He noticed that she turned only partially to face him, so as not to disturb Fai and whatever business he had with the back of her head.
"I'm sure Kuro-pon just wanted to join in the fun, right Mokona?" The slender man's irritatingly smooth tenor chimed in, followed by the happy sing-song voice of the manjuu.
"I'll bet Kuro wants Fai to braid his hair too, and with lots'a bows!"
Kurogane was of course at a loss. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before managing anything coherent. His expression shifted back and forth between a frown and a scowl before settling on 'bemused and disgruntled.'
"What exactly are you doing?"
"More like, what exactly was I doing, because now I'm all finished!" The blonde 'hyuu'ed cheerfully after tying off the end of the braid he'd been working on with a pink ribbon, snatching up a hand-held mirror from someplace on his person and reaching over the princess' shoulder to show her his handiwork. She let out a happy sound and clapped her hands together in delight.
"Hanyaaan-! Fai-san, it looks so nice!" She exclaimed, reaching up to tentatively run her fingers across the strange new hairstyle she'd been given; two braided pigtails, starting just behind her fringe and trailing down.¹ She had always thought her hair was too short for anything even remotely involved.
"I know! It really suits you," Fai smiled and reached up to ruffle her bangs and the two longer wisps that remained unbraided.
"Sakura is so cute, but Mokona is super cute too!" Mokona crowed happily, swinging its ribbon-clad ears to and fro with great vigor.
Kurogane shuddered at the palpable concentration of 'genki' in the room. He could have sworn there were sparkles and bubbles dancing along the outer edges of his vision, and the cuteness was practically stifling the air with its saccharine sweetness. He resisted the strong urge to gag.
Sakura beamed down at the obnoxious creature before scooping it up in her arms. "Un, Moko-chan! Let's go downstairs and show Syaoran-kun, okay?"
Mokona clambered up onto Sakura's shoulder, and after a sweet smile and a quick bow to Fai and Kurogane, the green-eyed princess bounded out the door and thumped down the stairs rather loudly for a girl her size.²
There followed a moment of silence before Kurogane decided to bring up the most recent grievance on Fai's ever-growing list. He'd already propped his sword against the wall so he settled for expressive and vaguely threatening hand gestures. "Well, moron, if you're done acting like a woman, I'll have you know that I am missing certain articles of clothing that I-What the hell are you doing?" He snapped as Fai suddenly snatched his hands from their violent waving and held them in a soft but surprisingly firm grip. The ninja tried yanking them away, but to no avail.
"You know...I'll bet mean ol' Kuro-pipi just wants some ribbons in his hair, too!" Fai exclaimed before pouncing on his victim. Kurogane, who had pretty much expected this course of action, immediately let out a snarl of rage and tried vainly to get a good grip on the slender man's waist so he could drag him over and toss him out the second story window to a splattery death.
He struggled rather valiantly, remembering his earlier irritation and feeling the all too familiar urge to slaughter the other man rising within him. The two wobbled around precariously for a few moments before the back of Kurogane's knees hit the bed. He let out an undignified squawk as he landed with a bounce and an all too pleased mage squirming around in his lap.
In. His. Lap.
Brow furrowed in intense anger and no small amount of discomfort (and perhaps a little arousal, however unwilling it may have been), he gripped the blonde's forearms and made to shove him out of his personal bubble. Said blonde did not move from this straddling position, however. In fact, Fai leaned forward until they were nearly nose to nose, his grin wide and lecherous and far too knowing for Kurogane's comfort. The ninja swallowed thickly, feeling his own face heat at their close proximity. It took him only a moment to re-realize the awkwardness of it and, still gripping the man's arms, he prepared to toss him off again, already growling out an angry protest-
Fai, if possible, leered even harder and shifted his hips-slowly-against him, once, twice, and oooooh it was good.
Kurogane clenched his eyes shut, unwilling to meet that horrible, conniving, contemptuous, gorgeous gaze. But it was not to be.
He felt one of those long fingers tap under his chin, and he dared to open his eyes and meet those mischievous blue pools with his own crimson. And they were close, frighteningly, agonizingly close, and it was all he could do not to lean in just a little further and nip at that pouty lower lip.
"...I can't braid your hair, Kuro-myu." Fai smiled easily after the breathy utterance, sapphire eyes dark with some unknown emotion.
Kurogane was willing to hazard a guess as to what it was. He reached out suddenly to bury a hand in those wispy blonde locks, all too ready to pull the mage in and have a taste of that perfect mouth when Fai chuckled gleefully and in a complicated motion too fast for the ninja's lust-addled brain, spun himself around so that his back was facing the taller man's chest.
"-Oooh, but you can braid mine, Kuro-da!"
Kurogane promptly face planted into the area between the wizard's shoulder blades, letting out a groan. Fai just squirmed pleasantly under the weight and began babbling more nonsense.
"Kuro-wan, your head is too big and heavy! You'll snap my spine with the weight of it!"
'Kuro-wan' growled and resisted throttling/ravishing the living hell out of what was probably the most irritating creature in all of existence, save that wretched princess of his who'd so maliciously placed him in this position in the first place.
¹ Just to clarify, it's a French braid...I guess. I just didn't want to say French braiding because this is a different universe and lord knows if any of them have been to France or, alternatively, know what France is.
² Kaijuu. She'll never change, because CCS was so much love. :)
And whoa. Talk about serious hyphen/comma abuse. And does anybody else ever have spacing errors and problems when they upload a story, no matter how many times you try and fix it? Is it the format I'm uploading it in?
Anyways, if you liked it - please review! :)
If you hated it and it made you want to f-king die, please review! :D