I am suffering MAJOR blockage. JKR owns characters and what not.
Harry awoke feeling very strange. He climbed out of bed and poked Ron. Ron snored a reply.
Harry poked him again. Snore. Poke. Snore. Fed up, Harry took out his wand, and waved it, trying not to snicker. Happy with his handy wand work, Harry went down to the common room. What he saw sitting on the couch made him stop in his tracks. Sitting in front of the fire, grumbling under their breath, was Angsty!Harry. Angsty!Harry looked up and made a face.
"What are you doing here? Leave me alone to brood about how I'm too pathetic to ask Ginny out!"
Before Harry could reply, Slut!Ginny came through the portrait hole with Never Noticed!Dean.
Harry scratched his head. Slut!Ginny went over to Harry and hugged him tright.
"You look so cute when you are confused."
As if on cue, two Hermiones came down the spiral staircase, bickering. Hermione was looking slightly annoyed, while Ignored!Hermione was complaining something about not being listened to anymore. In tow was a half asleep Ginny, who instantly woke up when she spotted Slut!Ginny trying to lean on Harry while Never Noticed!Dean and Angsty!Harry were arguing who had it worse. To make matters worse, Ron emerged wearing a pink tu-tu, lime green bikini top and had a heart tattoo with Snape in the center on his right hip. Everyone in the room turned their heads and their jaws dropped. Ron just yawned.
"What?"
Ginny spoke up first.
"Nothing. Come on guys, lets go to the Great Hall and see whats going on there."
The crowd mumbled in agreement.
The group entered the Great Hall to find themselves in the center of chaos. Dumbledore was sitting at the Gryffindor House table chatting merrily to Ghost!Dumbledore, who was swapping hats with Sugar Addict!Dumbledore. McGonagall was yelling at Hippie!McGonagall to put out that bong and Draco was dueling with Gay!Draco. Gay!Draco dodged a stunner and yelled, "Back off! Harry is MINE!"
Slut!Hermione ran up to Slut!Ginny and whispered something, then they ran off to join Lovable!Draco and Sexy!Neville in the corner. Ron, still clueless as to his apparel, stared in horror as Snape came running up yelling, "Merlin, get them AWAY!"
Hermione pulled Harry to the side and pointed to Dumbledore's seat at the Head Table.
"There! Look! I think she's the cause of all this!"
With Hermione leading the way, the group made their way to the Head Table. Just short of the Table, they were stopped by Pedophile!Snape.
"Well, well, if it isnt the sexy Hermione herself."
Hermione squeaked and hide behind Angsty!Harry, who was standing moodily in the back.
Harry pushed past Pedo!Snape only to run into Sexy!Snape, who was staring at his reflection in a mirror. Before he could say anything to the startled teens, Harry steered the group away and right into Whiney!Harry.
"Why wont anyone pay attention to me? This sucks. Everyone is so freaked out. I hate this place. I miss my pare-"
Harry shoved his way past Whiney!Harry and up to the Table. They emerged from the mess and took in the sight. A girl with brown hair twisted in a clip and white headphones hanging out of one ear was laying in the chair twirling her wand with her feet dangling off of the armrest, looking bored. Everyone spoke up at once.
"Who are you?"
"What are you?"
"Why are you here?"
"What's going on?"
"Why is everything...WRONG?"
The girl raised an eyebrow, laid her wand on the table and pulled out a notebook.
"I'm Zo. I'm a fanfiction author just trying make a name and write something decent that people like. I'm here because I'm having writers block to the MAX and I decided to throw every version of character I've ever read or thought of into one room and pray for some inspiration. Nothing much is going on. Just take a look around. Ron what ARE you wearing?"
Ron looked down and noticed the top and tu-tu.
"DEARSWEETMERLIN!"
Ron took off running for the door.
Zo was writing something in her notebook. She stopped and looked at the remaining students.
"The sooner I get an inspiration, the sooner things go back to normal."
The girl put her pen down as Secretly Sweet!Snape handed her a giant mug of Cream Soda.
"Thanks Sevvie."
The group watched in horror as Secretly Sweet!Snape bowed and took a seat next to Zo. Ron came back wearing normal robes and was deep in discussion with Good!Draco about what was going on.
Crack!
Voldemort Apparated next to Harry and grabbed him by the shoulders.
"Potter! You have GOT to help me! He will not go away! I tried to Avada Kadevra'd him 56 times and he STILL will not die!"
Before Harry could react there was another loud crack. Fluff!Voldiekins Apparated in front of Harry and Voldemort.
"See! You really don't want to kill him! I told you!"
Voldemort yelped, let go of Harry and took off running down the hall to the doors, with Fluff!Voldiekins in tow. Secretly Sweet!Snape looked at Zo.
"You are so cruel. I like it."
Zo giggled and the group turned and ran for the dormitories.
Once safe inside, Harry addressed the remaining group members.
"Ok guys. I vote we barricade the portrait hole and hide in here until this passes."
Hermione threw in,
"How will we know when its over if we are in here?"
Harry thought for a moment.
"Ron, you'll go out every two hours and check on things, k mate?"
"WHAT? WHY ME?"
Before Harry could respond, Heroic!Ron came down the boys dorm stairs.
"What's all the yelling?"
Harry, Ron and Hermione explained the plan. Heroic!Ron volunteered so Ron didn't have to go. Ginny headed to the girls dorm.
"While we wait, I'm going to go take a nap."
Agreeing with the idea, the rest of the group relocated and went to sleep.
GAHHH!!!
IDEAS! COME TO ME! I COMMAND YOU!
JEDI MIND POWER?
ACCIO IDEAS!
Bleh. Hopefully I'll think of something tomorrow. Goodnight. Don't review this crap, its just brain barf.
~Zo