Disclaimer: I don't own anything!
Author's Note: This is my first story. I would really appreciate reviews. I hope you like it!
"Why do you care if I'm happy?" His blue eyes pierced her so deeply she was rendered physically incapable of answering him the way she should have.
In fact, it wasn't until much later that night, as she was futilely trying to fall asleep, that she realized what she should have replied with.
The words fell out of her mouth as they fell into her brain, despite the fact that she was alone in her bedroom. Even Rachel was sleeping peacefully in the next room. The irony was almost too much. She finally had found the guts to admit what she had been avoiding for so long, and she was completely alone anyway.
Even a few hours later, after Rachel had awoken for a bottle and then easily slipped back to sleep next to Lisa in her bed, sleep was still eluding her.
Realizing what she needed to do, she let out an audible groan, which almost woke her daughter. She rose from the bed and dressed quietly– old yoga pants and a zip-up hoodie overtop the short, pink nightdress she was already wearing. She gingerly tucked a still-sleeping Rachel into her car seat with extra blankets for the chilly early-spring air, and grabbed a bottle on the way out in case she woke up.
It wasn't until she parked her car at the curb in front of his home that she started to second-guess herself. She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. "What are you thinking, Lisa?" And as if on cue, his words rolled into her mind, followed by the image of his beautiful stare.
"Why do you care if I'm happy?"
With this, she unbuckled her seatbelt, unhooked Rachel's seat and made the short trek to his doorstep in record time. Her finger hit the doorbell three times rapidly to let him know she was serious. She shifted her weight and hit it a few more times to let him know she was cold.
Finally his uneven footsteps could be heard on the other side, and the door swung open to reveal him rubbing his eyes in flannel pajama pants and a white undershirt. He stared at her blankly, apparently too tired to greet her. She stared back, and felt her eyes already beginning to water. Could she go through with this?
He stepped back silently, motioning her to come inside. The door closed behind her as she walked into his living room, setting Rachel's seat down on the sofa and turning to face him once again.
Apparently he had found his attitude in those few seconds.
"Are people supposed to bring their kids along on booty calls?"
She didn't answer him; just took some deep breaths and willed her tears to stay back until she was in her car again. He took a few steps toward her and noticed something was wrong when she sniffled and dabbed frantically at her eyes. His instinct kicked in before he could stop it.
"Lisa, what's wrong? Are you okay? Is Rachel okay?" He looked her up and down quickly, searching for any obvious signs of injury. And he shot the same look toward the sleeping face in the car seat. Finding nothing, he looked back to her.
"I'm fine. Rachel's fine…" she trailed off and diverted her eyes away from his.
He almost kicked himself then when he let out a sigh of relief, realizing that he probably wouldn't get away from this one without her knowing that he cared.
Truth was he more-than-cared. He was certain that she was the one thing in his life that actually did make him happy. The vicodin eased his pain. The alcohol clouded the complicated thoughts that ran amuck in that big, miserable brain of his. The strippers and hookers got him off, satisfied him enough so he could fall asleep each night without thinking about the things he really needed. Even the methodone didn't make him truly happy.
She took away his pain. She simplified the messy thoughts in his head. She softened the hard outer wall he worked so hard to keep up. And sexually, oh did she satisfy him. Even without being physical with him, she satisfied him in ways he never knew before.
He had realized today when she didn't answer his question the way he hoped she would, that he could live with his physical pain if it came down to it. What he couldn't live with, though, was the pain of losing Lisa Cuddy.
He hadn't slept yet tonight. Instead, he tossed and turned, trying to figure out how he was supposed to stay in his shell and love a woman like Lisa Cuddy at the same time. Just as he had come to his conclusion– that there would come a day when he'd willingly give up his reputation to make her happy– that damned doorbell started.
House looked back at the woman in front of him. She was hurting, and he didn't know why. He tried not to think about what would happen later if he allowed himself to let down the wall further for her.
"What's wrong then?" He stepped closer to her. His hands stretched open and balled back into fists again as he resisted the urge to reach out to her, to sweep her hair back from her face.
When he spotted the tear that escaped her right eye, he broke down. He moved slowly, so as not to startle her. His thumb gently wiped the track away as he was careful to make that the only contact they shared. He could have kicked himself again when his hand landed on her shoulder briefly, and then trailed down her arm.
Cuddy was so startled at such a rare display of care from House that she looked up into his eyes suddenly, searching for anything that could give her some clarity in this crazy situation. He looked back at her then softly, and she again found the courage she needed.
"It's because…" she stumbled slightly. "It's because you make me happy, Greg."
His eyes burrowed slightly and she took it for confusion.
"You make me happy, and that's why I care about you being happy."
They never could decide who moved first, but in the end it didn't really matter. All that mattered was that they ended up together. Their lips met so quickly and so gently at the same time. It was all very confusing to Lisa, really.
His hands were at her waist; hers were moving slowly up his chest to his shoulders and around his neck to grab at his hair as the kiss deepened. She opened her mouth to him when she felt him ask permission with his tongue sliding across her lips.
His hands grew restless. They groped at her hips and back, pulling her closer to him and lifting her up to her toes so he could gain better access to her mouth. He took a risk by sliding them down to her ass slowly and squeezed, and was happy he did when she let out a sigh.
They broke apart after a minute or so, and he searched her eyes.
"Is this what you want?" he asked her in a husky voice, so low she wasn't entirely sure he actually had spoken.
She responded with a chaste kiss.
"I want you," she whispered.
House didn't break eye contact with her as he grabbed the zipper of her hoodie, slid it down, and then slowly pushed the jacket off her shoulders, taking time to admire the slightly lacy nightdress she was wearing, even if there were pants covering her long legs.
"Rachel will probably sleep for at least another hour… as long as we're quiet, that is."
Her words sunk in. He lifted his eyes from her beautiful body and saw her sly, and slightly embarrassed grin. If only she knew what she was doing to him. He should be the embarrassed one, he thought.
She chuckled quietly to ease her nerves, and he swiftly began kissing her again while simultaneously lifting her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, reveling in the feel of his hands on her bottom. When he began walking toward his bedroom, she broke the kiss.
"This has to be hurting you," she pleaded with him quickly.
"I don't feel the pain with you," he answered simply and caught her mouth again. She let his words take effect as she kissed him, and then felt herself being lowered onto his bed, and then landing softly.
He smiled at her softly and took her hands in his, kissing her knuckles and nuzzling her wrists. She couldn't believe she was seeing this side of him after all this time.
He slid her sweatpants down her legs, and kissed the newly exposed skin as he went. She rose to her knees on the bed, and kissed his lips as he stood on the floor next to her. She pulled his shirt up and off and was reaching for his pants when he laid her back down. He pulled his own pants off gingerly, avoiding the scar tissue on his thigh.
When he settled himself down next to her, she immediately reached to the mangled patch of skin, massaging it gently. She couldn't help but blame herself for his injury. She looked into his eyes and apologized silently. Then, without thinking much, she repositioned herself and placed feather-soft kisses to the area.
House hated that scar. It was uglier than anything he could have imagined. But Lisa was pouring out her soul to it, and it was a beautiful sight. He reached out and gently pulled her back to him, kissing her quickly.
"It's okay."
She kissed him back intensely and they were back on track. He started tugging her dress up, touching as much of her skin as he possibly could on the way. When it was off of her, he took a moment to just admire the woman in front of him. God, he was in for it.
She had had enough foreplay apparently. She pushed his boxers down his legs quickly and then toed them off the rest of the way herself. She attacked his mouth again and rolled on top of him. He let her have her way on top while he explored her perfect breasts with his hands. She moaned and sighed as he squeezed and rubbed, making her nipples quite hard in the process.
He flipped them over and settled himself on top of her once again as he moved his mouth from her lips up her jaw line, behind her ear and then down her neck again, settling at the hollow of her collar bone. He nipped and sucked here while her hands roamed his back, clawing for more.
"Greg."
It was a demand of sorts. And he chuckled, sending additional waves of pleasure over her as he moved to kiss her breasts. He took one nipple in his mouth and sent one of his hands downward, past her belly, to her core. He slid one finger up and then back down her slit, and smiled when he realized just how turned on she was.
"Anxious, are we?"
She whimpered, and he didn't dare test her further. Two fingers slid into her and began working away as he switched his mouth to the other breast. He sped up his hand and allowed his thumb to seek out her clit, rubbing over it gently. She reacted by arching her back, pushing her breast into his mouth further, and giving his fingers access to a new depth.
This time it was House who groaned. He felt his own body reacting to her obvious pleasure.
His mouth left her chest and traveled toward his hand, kissing the trail along the way. When he ran his tongue over her bud, he saw her hands clench the sheets on either side of him into fists. The reaction was so exciting that he did it again and again. His fingers moved in and out of her hot core while he nipped and sucked at her clit. It drove her crazy and she pushed his head into her further.
He switched it up by removing his fingers so he could lap at her, and his fingers moved over her clit. Again, her body arched. He latched onto her, licking and sucking frantically while she bucked against him. Her moans grew louder and he was glad they had thought to close the door behind them. Her legs went over his shoulders, keeping him tight to her. He could feel her getting closer and had to pull himself away from her just before she could release.
"You son of a bitch," she whined, pulling his face up to her and kissing him hard.
"Couldn't let you get off that easy," he replied deeply as he adjusted himself between her legs. He felt her hands glide up and down his back, squeezing his ass before she slipped a hand between them to guide him into her.
He searched her eyes once again to make sure she wasn't having second thoughts about this new step. As much as he hated to admit it, this relationship mattered too much to him to screw it up completely.
"Lisa, are you sure you want this? I can't change."
"I said I want you. And I meant it."
He nodded and kissed her before pushing into her slowly, but as deeply as he could, watching her face as he did so. Her eyes rolled and her breath caught. He let out a guttural groan as he felt her tighten around him.
Once they had adjusted, he started moving, slowly at first. He planted small kisses on her lips, face and neck but watched her react to him as much as he could. They kept eye contact as they sped up their pace. Her nails again scratched at his back, begging for more.
She whimpered between pants. "Oh, God yes" and "Mmm, Greg" and "Oh, fuck," which was his personal favorite. He pumped in and out of her faster and faster to match her requests for more. Every inch of her face showed pleasure until the very last minute, when her breath quickened to an almost impossible pace, and she let out a beautiful cry as her muscles contracted around him and she came hard. He pumped a few more times and then came himself, pouring himself into her. They kept eye contact as they came down from it all.
He collapsed on top of her and rolled them both onto their sides, without leaving her. They breathed together and held one another as he placed kisses on her lips.
"Why the hell did we wait so long to do that?" she asked, breaking the silence.
He kissed her deeply and replied, "I don't know, but we should probably do that as much as possible from now on." They both smiled and fell into a silence for a few minutes.
"Lisa."
"Hmm?"
"Will we be okay? Now that we…" his question trailed off, but she knew what he meant.
"Greg, this will change things. But I'm really not sure that I could go back to the way things were before. I need this to be our new normal. And I need you to deal with that."
"Okay." He kissed her. "But I hope you realize that I will still be a jerk at work. And I will still annoy you. And I will still wreak havoc in the hospital. And I will still fight you tooth and nail before I do clinic duty."
She laughed and caressed his cheek.
"Of course I do. You're the only you I want."
He smiled and kissed her again.
Lisa Cuddy was in love with Greg House. She couldn't say it to him; he wasn't the type for 'I love you's.' So she spelled it out with her finger on his back.
And so, this was the way they did things for a while. Days fighting at work turned into nights loving one another at home. They ended their days tangled in one another's arms, a set of sheets woven between and around them, the lights of passing cars outside casting shadowed patterns over their faces.
Every night she spelled out her feelings to him. Sometimes just writing the three essential words, and other times writing long verses. But it was always the same idea.
It was just a couple months after their first night together that she finished writing, and kissed him quickly before closing her eyes. He caressed her cheek and whispered her name. She opened her eyes again to find him smiling down at her.
"Lisa, I love you too."
One small tear and another exchange of smiles later, they both drifted off to sleep.
