Aroma.
Normal Oliver.
Bold Fred
Bold/Italics George
Italics Katie
She's going to kill me.
One of these days she's going to walk past me like she always does, flicking her long dark hair over her shoulder, flashing me that perfect smile and moving those hips – and my heart will just stop.
Just like that.
Bam.
I'll be dead.
Haha, I think Oliver's in looooooooooove! Oooh!
Shut up, Weasley!
Note the use of our last name, Fred…
I have George, and I'm laughing.
I can see that, why are you laughing?
Well, because most people yell 'WEASLEY!' at us when they're pissed off, but Oliver just does that because he can't tell which one of us is which.
Oi! I can tell who is who!
You can now because we have different handwriting you prat!
Ah, come now George, no need to insult him…
Why not?
Because he's in love, old chap.
He is?
Yes, you prat, he is.
With who?
I'M NOT IN LOVE!
Hush now Ollie-Wollie.
Hehe, "Ollie-Wollie"?
Yes George, "Ollie-Wollie". Anyway, as I was saying – er, writing – Oliver is in love.
I AM NOT IN LOVE!
In love? With who?
Hi Katie!
Hi Fred. Who are you in love with Oliver?
NO ONE!
Yes you are! He's in love with y--------------
Ow. That hurt. No need to slap me. Oliver, you're such a girl.
And the problem with being a girl is?
Nothing – if you are actually a girl, which I think Oliver isn't…
Can't be too sure, though…
Oliver, you look like you're choking on a frog…
Oh wow! He does too!
A gigantic one!
A humongous one!
An enormous one!
A-
Stop it. Now.
Now you just look like you're very, extremely angry… Oh.
YES I AM BLOODY ANGRY!
THIS IS MY OWN PRIVATE NOTE, TO MYSELF!
NO ONE WAS ASKED TO JOIN IT AND NO ONE IS WELCOME TO JOIN IT, SO NOW, KINDLY… PISS OFF!
Wow, he is angry.
Fred, maybe we should, ah, disappear?
Perhaps.
Adios Katie.
You know French?
Idiot.
Haha, those two are hilarious.
That is a matter of opinion, I think.
What's got you in the dumps, captain of mine?
Nothing.
Sure, sure.
No really, I'm fine.
Well, I suppose I'd better leave you in peace to write your own private note to yourself.
If you suppose so.
Just one last thing though…
Yes?
That description you've got written up there of the girl you're in love with…
It's not… I'm not… I
Oliver…
Okay, fine. Yes, what about it?
It's rather morbid, isn't it?
What do you mean?
Well, love's meant to be a good, nice thing isn't it?
Well, yes… I suppose.
Then, why are you so intent on her killing you?
Because she is.
How so?
By being so goddamn beautiful… and smart… and funny… and close…
Close?
Erm, um, yeah, wrong um, word…
Oh.
Yes.
Well, all I'm trying to say is that if she causes you so much pain, then maybe you should give her up.
I can't.
Why?
Because she smells so good.
She what?
She smells so good… Like broom polish and mangoes and chocolate…
Ah, I see, and can you smell that smell right now?
Yes.
Oh.
Yes…
Then I advise you to tell her immediately, exactly how you feel about her.
Alright then.
So I'll be going now, so you can talk to Angelina.
WHAT!
Well, I was assuming it was her because all those smells relate to her.
You see, we went and polished our brooms this morning, before coming back up to breakfast where we shared a mango and then we've just come back from the kitchens with a cake for Leanne's birthday.
Yes, that would fit, I suppose.
Yes, so I'll be leaving now.
No! Katie, you don't understand.
Don't I?
No! Not at all!
What are you trying to tell me Ol?
Well, think about it… All those smells relate to Angelina because she was involved in activities to generate those smells, right?
Yeah…
But who was with her and doing the exact same things, and therefore must smell exactly the same?
Um… me?
Yes.
And the point is?
My God, when did you get so clueless?
Well, excuse me then, your Royal Intelligence, I'll just go and get smarter shall I!
No.
WELL WHY NOT!
Because you're perfect just the way you are.
Oh. Well then… That was sentimental.
GODDAMN IT KATIE, I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE GOING TO KILL ME ONE DAY!
No you didn't! You told me that the girl that you're in love with – oh… Oh.
Thank Merlin…
You? And Me? You love … me?
Yes Katie, I do.
Well, that happens to be brilliant.
Why?
Because I happen to be in love with you too.
Really? Me? You really love me!
Yes Oliver I do…
Why?
Because you're gorgeous and protective and you smell so good.
I smell good too?
Yep.
Wow. What do I smell like?
Leather, broom polish, grass, chocolate biscuits and aftershave.
Wow…
Oliver, stop writing now.
Why?
Because I'm going to kiss you, you idiot!
You a----------------------------------------------
Well then George, wasn't that sweet?
Indeed Fred, it was charming.
Their current display however isn't…
Mmm… It looks like he's trying to eat her face.
Yeah… Eurgh.
Eurgh.