A/n: I suspect there will be a major absence of Fuinn in this season, so I just wrote this little two-shot for my head!canon because I needed to believe they still love each other and I needed a reason why they act like they never even dated, I liked it so I decided to upload it as my first story. I will go down with this ship and I will turn it into a submarine.
Finn
I'm sitting here in glee club and everything feels wrong. I'm smiling but that's just for show. They're all talking but I'm not, I'm listening for the one voice I know I wont hear. It kills me.
At first I didn't like the new Quinn, I'm the quarter back so I wouldn't ever admit it but she kinda scared me. She's all edgy and badass, and I honestly feel like she could beat me up.
"What do you think, Finn?" I look at Rachel sitting next to me and guilt flashes through me as I realise I was ignoring her to think about my ex.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening; I didn't sleep well last night."
That's not a lie, I didn't sleep much last night; I woke up at 2am and never slept afterwards. You see I had a dream last night, you know, one of those kinda dreams. It was about Quinn, new Quinn, being all bad and dominating and…
It was a good dream, but I woke up and couldn't stop thinking about her. At first I thought to myself that I love her pink hair, then I decided I still love her blonde hair. I think I love both.
I'm lying on my bed, my phone is switched off, I will just tell anyone who tries to reach me that it died and I didn't notice. I need to be alone. I can't stop thinking about today, I bumped into her, Quinn I mean.
We both walked around the same corner and I nearly walked into her. She stared daggers at me and said 'watch it' but her eyes looked sad. They were covered in make up; I actually kinda like it how it is now.
Hell, I love her eyes now, but I still remember her eyes the way they used to be. I think I love both.
I'm in the gym after football practice and she's back in my head again. I got tackled hard and went flying into a bench, I was fine but Coach Beiste made me sit out for a few minutes.
Quinn was sitting in the stands on the other side of the pitch, and I couldn't stop staring, she looked hot.
I don't care what anyone says, I'm not so big on the smoking but the new Quinn is awesome. She hates me, but apart from that she's awesome.
The way she dresses is so different now; she used to look nice, and innocent. But I love the way she dresses now, and while I think about it, I love the way she always used to dress. I think I love both.
Rachel is talking, but again I'm not listening, she doesn't notice, she listens to me less than I listen to her. Quinn used to listen, and I used to listen to her, I still do. That's why I'm not listening to Rachel right now.
Quinn isn't talking, so it's more like I'm listening to the way she moves. That doesn't make sense does it? I'm just watching her. I think she can see me watching her in the mirror on her locker door; I don't care. If she see's me at least she will still think about me. A little.
She's watching me as she walks past, again she looks angry, but I know her, she still seems sad, it breaks my heart.
I don't care if I sound like a wimp, it breaks my heart to see her so sad, I need to do something. It's my job; that's what boyfriends do.
Shit. I'm not her boyfriend, and that breaks my heart even more. I used to love the old Quinn, I still kinda do, but I love the new Quinn too. I think I love both.
My bed suddenly feels empty, I remember when Quinn used to lie in it, or when I would lie in hers. If I close my eyes I can almost hear her breathing, smell her.
Screw think, I know I love her. What have I done?
Is this my fault?
Would she still be happy if it wasn't for me?
Would she be in glee club still?
Maybe not, there's more to Quinn Fabray than that, but maybe she would.
I should tell her how I feel, I kinda of want to leave Rachel, but I've done this too many times, it doesn't matter how much I love her. She's done with me, and all it's my fault.
She'll never feel the same.