I Remember Everything
Disclaimer : I do not own Castle.
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Psychologist: What do you remember?
Beckett: I remember everything.
Beckett, she was unique. Most detectives after they passed their psych eval, they won't come back to see the psychiatrist. Although theoritically she had passed the test, she hasn't really recovered from her PTSD yet.
There was no any new leads for the last 3 months. With more and more homicide happened in New York, and moreover no one knew about what Montgomery had done, Gates closed the case. Precinct days were not as fun as usual, without their father-figured Captain Montgomery.
Meanwhile, Castle was still tailing her, but something felt really different. Something has completely changed, it's their relationship. Not like before the shooting, even though right now he's close to her, yet so far. Knowing that Beckett didn't remember about the shooting, and everything went black after she was shot, means that she didn't remember what he had said to her, when she was lying on the grass right after she was shot.
No, she remembered every little details about it, she just lied.
She couldn't stand cheating on him anymore. He deserved to know the truth. Guilt pained her heart whenever anything reminded her on anything Castle-ish. His face, his joke, his scent, his concern, and all of their bittersweet memories. It's the time to reveal the truth. She was ready to face any consequences. If he's angry? He's got the right to be angry.
She took her cell phone and searched for his name on her contact list. She quickly sent him a text.
"Castle, we need to talk. Right now."
As soon as he read her text, he called her afterwards. On a short discussion, they had decided to meet at the park near her new loft.
Around 15 minutes later, Castle arrived at the park. It wasn't so hard to find her there, the park was very quiet, and she was sitting on an old rusty bench. He quickly ran towards her while waving his right hand. Kate was staring somewhere absent-mindedly, and she didn't know that Castle was there. There's a frown on her face, indicating that something was wrong. He tried to hide his concern as he greeted her. She slowly turned her head towards the voice which she already recognized.
"Hey.."
Her voice was even worse than when she was still in the hospital. She sounded so desperate, hopeless, so lost in the dark of her mother's case.
"What's wrong, Kate? Tell me."
This was such an agonizing pain knowing that Castle was a very nice person, and by the fact that in just less than 1 minute later, she would break this person's heart. She was trying to figure out the best way to say this, but unfortunately, no matter how she was going to say this, nothing changes the truth.
"I remember everything, Rick. The shooting, the way you were trying to safe me, the chaos, and.."
He was totally dumb-founded. But before she said the last thing she remembered that day, he cut her.
"But, but you said you don't remember anything, do you?"
"Sorry Castle, I lied. That day at the hospital, I wasn't ready to face the truth. As I said to you, I need some time. I do remember every single details of it. And the last thing I remember that when I was lying on the grass, and you confessed to me. The way you said it to me, you meant it. It pained my heart for the last 3 months. I kept thinking on that, and finally I'm ready to crush this wall between us. I'm ready to face all the risk, including risking my heart. I'm ready for it, Castle. I love you too.."
Her eyes were teary. Her voice broke when she said the last sentence. But there's some kind of burden lifted up after she said that. Finally, after 3 years of pretending, she finally found some courage to say it. They loved each other, and now they're ready to go to the next level.
He was shocked, but then relieved. Unexpectedly, he wasn't angry. He was smiling instead.
"Thank you, Kate."
"For what?"
"Thank you for making me know that actually you love me too. I've been waiting for this answer, Kate, for a long long time. Thank you for being Katherine Beckett, the one who never ceases to amuse me."
Hearing his answer, she felt so glad that she has this kind of person besides her everyday, everytime from now and forever. She burst into tears. Seeing teardrops falling from her delicate eyes, he quickly used his thumb to wipe it away. He hold her hands firmly, facing each other.
"Why are you crying, Kate? Is there anything wrong?"
"No, nothing's wrong. These are happy tears. I really really don't know what to say. I'm very happy that finally I can say this."
"Kate, I-"
He was cut by a sudden kiss from her. Sometimes, there are words better left being unsaid. This kiss just symbolizes everything.
"You know what, Castle? I still remember every single moments we have throughout the last 3 years."
"Oh, really? Let me test your memory."
They began sharing their moments. From their first case, daily coffee, safe word, Turner and Hooch, the day before Hamptons, magic trick with ice cube, high-tech investigation with Agent Shaw, Beckett's wannabe Natalie Rhodes, nearly die frozen in each other's arms, saving New York from a dirty bomb, driving a Ferrari in LA, giving speech on Captain Montgomery's funeral, Heat Rises book signing, sitting on swingset next to each other. They were having a really great time each other.
And finally everything led them here. Sitting and holding each other's hands. This is no dreaming. This is a dream come true. Every songs make sense.
"Kate Beckett has shown me the ropes of homicide investigation, not to mention how to make sense of songs." – Heat Rises
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Author's Note : Hi, readers! Thank you for reading my first ever fanfic. I'm just wondering should it be better if I left it as a one shot fanfic or do you want me to continue writing for the next chapter? If you want me to continue, I'll start finding new ideas. Reviews will be appreciated :)