Title: The Heaven I'm Headed To
Summary: "You use faith a lot more than you think, Bones."
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Booth/Brennan
Series: Long Trip Alone, part 3/11 (1: Band of Brothers, 2: Prodigal Son's Prayer)
Length: 1000 words
Genres: spiritual, romance
A/N: I'm not entirely happy with the way this fic came out... Meh. But I'm posting it anyway because I've taken too long on it already. Bear with me.
Note on the series: This is part of a series I'm writing for the LiveJournal community ficalbum. Each fic is based on a prompt from each song on Dierks Bentley's CD Long Trip Alone (not in order). The series is going to have a total of 11 one-shots spanning Booth and Brennan's relationship, set in an AU following season 1 where Goodman never left and Cam never showed up. Reading "Band of Brothers" is not necessary to understand/enjoy this, however reading "Prodigal Son's Prayer" is.
The Heaven I'm Headed To
(Long Trip Alone Part 3)
Brennan sighed tiredly and let her eyes roam around the darkened church sanctuary. Then she turned to look back at Booth and noticed that he hadn't gone back to reciting prayers like she had expected him to.
"Don't let me stop you from praying," she said.
He shrugged. "I was pretty much done anyway."
She knew that that wasn't entirely true, and her eyes narrowed marginally at him. She tried to tell herself that she wasn't trying to keep him praying to hear his words, but she only partially succeeded. "Really, Booth," she said, voice marginally but not noticeably harder than it had been a moment ago. "Keep praying, please."
"Why the sudden interest in my prayers, Bones?" Booth defended somewhat playfully. "Do you suddenly care about the eternal fate of my soul, or are you just being nosy?"
"I just don't want you to stop praying just because I came and sat down with you," Brennan answered, though it was only partially true. "I wouldn't want to interrupt your talk with your God. I don't think he'd like that very much."
He chuckled. "Bones, I think I've already talked God's ears off enough today. Besides, it's not like I'm not going to make it into heaven because I stopped praying for a few minutes."
Brennan sighed, conceding the fight. "Fine, Booth." She paused and looked over at him, trying to put a curious look on her face as she asked a question she already knew the answer to. "What were you praying about?"
He shrugged. "Lots of things. I was just thanking God, mostly. For my life and what I have… And for your safety." He glanced away, obviously hesitating for a moment before going on, "I've been praying for you lately, Bones. Not just for your safety, but for you."
She was surprised by his bluntness and she just blinked at him for a second, unsure of what to say or do. "Really?" she finally and tentatively asked.
He nodded, folding his hands. "Yep." He looked away from Brennan, his eyes instead falling on the altar at the front of the church.
She struggled with how to respond for a long moment. Finally, she decided on the words she wanted to say. "I appreciate the thought, Booth," she said. "But I don't think even your prayers could help me that much."
Booth turned back to look at her, frowning. "What do you mean, Bones?"
"Well, Booth, even if I did believe in a God and in heaven—which I don't—why would I believe that there was a space in that heaven for me?" she said, a barely detectable hint of bitterness finding its way into her tone. "I was born the daughter of bank robbers and murderers." She nodded once. "I'm part of a family of convicts and law-breakers."
Booth sighed as he leaned back. "A, that's not what I meant when I said I was praying for you. B, God doesn't really care who your family is. He cares who you are, Bones."
Brennan half-chuckled, half-sighed at Booth's words, looking away from him. "I'm not really the most innocent person either." This time she couldn't keep the bitter edge off of her words.
"Hey, you didn't let me get to C," he said, using a finger under her chin to turn her to face him again. She looked up and saw care in his brown eyes. "C, there's room for everybody in the heaven I'm headed to. There's a place for preachers, thieves, and prostitutes. Saints, soldiers, beggars, kings, and renegades. For anyone who finds God's amazing grace." He smiled lightly. "Hey, if there's room for me, there's room for you."
Brennan smiled lightly.
Dropping his hand for her chin, Booth returned the smile, but sighed. "But, even if I tell you there is room for you in heaven, you're still not willing to give God the benefit of the doubt, are you?"
Slowly, Brennan shook her head. "It's a nice sentiment, Booth, but…"
As she trailed off, Booth sighed again. "You're really something, Bones. You like to think you don't have any use for faith. But what you don't realize is that you use faith a lot more than you think you do."
She raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "Really?"
He nodded. "Really. Every day." He held up a hand and began counting on his fingers. "You put faith in your science. You put faith in your fellow squints. Hey, you even put faith in me."
"Booth, that's different," Brennan insisted.
He raised an eyebrow. "How?"
Brennan opened her mouth to reply, but found she didn't have the words to do so. She really didn't know what to say. She struggled to find words, or just something, to say in response, but for once, she couldn't think of anything.
"Ah, see?" Booth said smugly. "Not that big of a difference."
"Booth, I…" Brennan trailed off, shaking her head.
He looked at her, smiling like he did when he knew exactly what she was thinking. "I know. You're not ready for that." He stood up and brushed past her, moving to leave. "Just promise me you'll think about it, okay?"
Smiling back, Brennan nodded. "Okay. I'll think about it."
He waved shortly at her. "Good night, Bones. See you tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow, Booth," she agreed, nodding at him.
She watched him turn and walk back up the church aisle, out into the foyer, then out through the church's double doors. Then she sighed as she turned to look forward again at the altar and stained glass windows of the church. She didn't really have anything to do now but what she had just promised Booth she would.
After all, there was no time like the present.
TBC in the next Long Trip Alone fic, "Soon As You Can". Which I'll post... as soon as I can. lol.
Please review.