Title: Take My Hand songfic
Author: TheCarbyLover
Rating: R
Spoilers: Set about a week after 'Primed'
Summary: There's a woman in the mirror
A/N: The song is 'Tag Min Hånd' - which means 'Take My Hand'. Helene(CharmedWorld) sent me the translated text, I just corrected a few things. I hope you like it! And it's a one-shot...
I've also posted this fic on Destinedto, where my alias is Skagengiirl.
Take My Hand
Can they see me?
I'm alone here
Can you not see me?
Or are they just not looking
Because they don't like me
For who I am
Everything crumbles or disappears
I have lost everything I knew about
I wipe the steam off the mirror and look at myself. The woman I see – it's not me. This woman in the mirror, she looks so happy and healthy, but when I look closer, I can see the pain in her eyes - the pain that is behind the façade.
Her dark hazel eyes are filled with tears. One single blink and they would pour down her cheeks. The sorrow in her eyes is so silent – just waiting to come out.
There are so many things inside of this young woman, which no one can see. I wish I could do something. It isn't fair that people like her should suffer – it isn't fair that ANY people should suffer. But that isn't the way the world works. In order to be happy, you have to go through the pain of life.
And this woman has – more than you'd know.
But take my hand
And I will go with you
When all courage fails
And all you fear, is right here
Come take my hand
And I will go with you
See life in front of you
Only waiting for you
If you dare
I look closer. The woman's eyes have fallen on the sharp object lying on the counter. I look at her arms in the mirror. They are already filled with scars from deep cuts with the same object. She runs her hand over the scars, and looks at me in the mirror. Sadness is written all over her face. I watch her lift the razorblade up and place it on the only clean spot on her upper left arm.
"No!" I say, but it's too late. Blood is already running down her arms, and tears are pouring down her cheeks. She looks at me angrily. Is she blaming me?
She lifts the blade up again and places it in her other hand. She looks at it, before placing it on her right arm. I watch her slid her wrist again.
The knife touches me
Now again
But the pain it goes away
When I hurt myself
I long for more love
I draw myself back
Hoping for the shorter days
To increase
I fall down – quick and hard against the wall. When I open my eyes again, I can see the woman in the mirror staring back at me. Fear written all over her face as blood forms a puddle on the floor.
That's when I realize… the woman in the mirror – it's not just some stranger. It's me! Tears are pouring down my cheeks and the blood just keeps coming. It's not stopping!
I'm scared now. What am I going to do? I just wanted the pain to go away for a minute – a little freedom.
Should I stop the bleeding, or just let all worries wash away? Why would I stop the bleeding? Who even cares about me? I have no contact with my family, so why would they care? But what about the team?
My thoughts quickly drift towards Martin – the best friend I've ever had and the only man I've ever really loved.
I slowly try to sit up and reach for a towel. I manage to grab the corner of a towel, before falling back down again with the towel over my arm. I don't have the strength to try and stop the bleeding again, and my vision's getting blurry.
But take my hand
And I will go with you
When all courage fails
And all you fear, is right here
Come take my hand
And I'll go with you
See life in front of you
Only waiting for you
If you dare
Then suddenly, I hear someone banging on my door, calling my name…
"Sam! Sam, please open the door?"
I recognize the voice immediately – my hero, my angel. "Martin…" I whisper, trying to get up, but falls again.
Then I hear the door getting kicked in. "Sam! Where are you? Please answer me!" He sounds worried, with a bit of anger evident in his voice.
Then he sees me lying on the floor with blood all around me. Worry and fear is written all over his face and he runs to my side. He takes the towel, wraps it tight around my wrist and holds my arm up, since I can't hold it up myself. He then grabs his cell phone and dials a number.
"I need an ambulance! My friend cut her wrist and she's losing a lot of blood." He croaks out, before giving my address.
After that, he hangs up. I actually see a tear slipping out of his eye, and he gets into a more comfortable position. He takes me up in his arms, hugging me and we cry in each others' arms.
But take my hand
And I will go with you
When all courage fails
And everything you fear, is right here
Come take my hand
And I'll go with you
See life in front of you
Only waiting for you
If you dare
"Oh, Sam, what did you do to yourself?"
I bury my head deeper into his chest. "I didn't want to do it, Martin. I just wanted the pain to go away." I manage to get out, before a big sob escapes. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Sam. It's going to be okay!" He says and rocks me back and forth, running his hands up and down my back.
Soon we hear sirens approaching.
He kisses the top of my head, still running his hands up and down my back. I'm glad he came, when he did. That's gotta mean that he still cares, right?
We hear the door open, and the paramedics come rushing into the bathroom. Martin lifts me up in his arms and places me on the gurney.
"Don't leave me…" I whisper, before blacking out.
"I'm riding along," is the last thing I hear.
When I open my eyes again, I'm at the hospital. Someone's holding my hand… I move my head to see who it is.
Take my hand
I will go with you
When all courage fails
And all you fear, is right here
I smile. "Martin…" I whisper. He lifts his head up.
"Heey." He smiles, kissing my hand and holds it in both of his hands. He sighs. "Please don't do this again, okay?" He says. "I don't want to lose you, Sam. I'll help you through this, okay? You shouldn't have to go through this by yourself."
A sob escapes, and I start crying uncontrollably again. "Okay." I manage to croak out.
He moves closer as he says: "Come here." And then wraps his arms around me. "You're gonna get through this." He says, reassuring me again.
I will go with you
"I love you, Martin." I whisper into his shoulder.
I feel him smile against my shoulder. "And I love you, Sam." He says, and kiss the top of my head.
I'm not alone anymore. He's here – my hero's here and he saved my life once again. He's taking my hand and leading me out of the dark and into the light.
Because of him, I can finally see the light at the end of the darkest tunnel. My hero, my angel… and my best friend!
Take my hand
And I will go
Come take my hand
THE END