A/n here is a bit of fluff and nonsense I came up with a couple of days ago, to combat the depression I'm going into over the direction the show is going with my Reid.
Disclaimer: For the hundredth time, I don't own CM. If I did I would, well I think you all know what I would do with the story lines.
Enjoy and thanks for your indulgence.
This is what happened…
I was sitting in front of my computer writing, one lovely spring day. It was a day just like any other day. Nothing earth-shattering had happened, I was still five foot seven inches tall, with copper colored hair, and sea-blue eyes. My favorite color remained purple, and wearing a pair of faded jeans, and a tee shirt was still my favorite outfit.
I had just opened a new chapter for my latest piece of fan fiction, when a hand fell on my shoulder, and a voice said. "What the hell are you doing here?" Of course after I screamed, then checked to see if my heart was still beating, I looked up into the disapproving face of Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, now how could that be, Thomas Gibson should have been in California taping the show, not in my house.
I pinched myself to be sure I wasn't dreaming, and then I took a good look around. I wasn't in my house; I was sitting in front of a computer at a desk that looked just like the one on the set of Criminal Minds, my favorite TV show, and source of inspiration for most of my fan fiction. I shook my head to clear it, blinked my eyes several times, and pinched myself again.
"Stop trying to give yourself a bruise, and tell me who you are before I have security throw you out."
"I - um… this is going to sound really weird, but I don't know how I got here. One minute I was sitting at my computer, and the next you scared the hell out of me, and I'm here. I don't even no how this is possible unless this candid camera, or something. Wait… I'll bet my brother in law set this up, you must be a look alike, great likeness by the way, how do you do it, make up, prosthetics, padding?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't know how you got past the Marine guard, but sneaking into a Federal facility is a federal offense."
I was starting to get a little peeved. Here was a look-a-like that was threatening me with arrest, and I hadn't done anything wrong. He was really good as Hotch though, he had the whole stoic thing down pat.
"Listen, whoever you are, it won't work. I'm not going to panic for the cameras and give the folks at home a good laugh, now I don't know how you did it, but I would like to go home now."
Hotch regarded me as if I were a regrettably slow child. He opened his mouth to speak, when a dark haired woman entered the bull pen. It was Emily Prentiss. Now I knew that it couldn't be Paget Brewster, it had to be another look a like. My brother in law had really gone all out, but I couldn't figure out why. It wasn't my birthday, and his penchant for practical jokes didn't usually include paid actors.
"Hey Hotch what's with the new girl; I didn't know you were recruiting new team members?"
"I'm not, I came in here, and she was sitting in front of one of the computers with no FBI credentials, and she won't tell me how she got in here."
"Well throw her out, have the MPs arrest her."
"Hey, I'm the room, stop talking about me like I'm not here." This was really annoying; they were taking their roles a little too seriously. I was going to kill Henry when I got my hands on him.
A familiar blond woman strode purposefully into the room. She was even more energetic looking in person. "Hey guys we got a new case…" JJ trailed off, and stopped in her tracks in front of me.
"Hotch, when did we get a new agent?"
"She's not a new agent, and she's leaving now." He took my arm, and began to manhandle me out of the bullpen. "Hey get your hands off of me, this isn't funny anymore."
"This isn't a joke, I'll give you one last opportunity to leave on your own, if you don't the base police will be called, and you'll be arrested."
"At least Henry got good actors to throw me out."
"Hey Hotch what's going on, and who's the fine looking woman you got there. Haley will kill you if you don't keep your hands to yourself."
"Be quiet Morgan, she's a civilian, and she's leaving, right?" He glared at me, and took my arm again. Damn it… if it bruised I was gonna sue someone. Then I saw him, and I was suddenly sure that this was a dream, because no look-a-like was that good. It was definitely him, from his long lanky body, to his chocolate brown eyes, and even the messenger bag slung over his shoulder. He stared at me with open curiosity, but he didn't say anything. I could feel the blush rising over my face to clash with my hair.
"Hey Reid, do you know this woman?" Hotch was looking back, and forth between us.
"Ah - no Hotch, I've never seen her before in my life." I could tell Hotch didn't believe him.
"Hey who's the new girl" Penelope Garcia breezed out of her office. "I thought we had a case, since when do we meet in the hallway, and not in the conference room?"
"For the tenth time I don't know who she is, she won't say, and she's not a new agent." Hotch flung a Garcia in an exasperated tone.
"Okay boss, just asking, don't have an aneurysm."
"Guys are we going get to work, there no time to stand around. What's with the new agent, Aaron?" Gideon strode up to the group from his office.
"Gideon, she isn't a new agent, I found her in the bull pen, she won't tell us how she got in here, and I was just about to see that she leaves."
The elevator doors opened, and he pushed me into the car. "Now get out of the building, and off the base, or I will call security."
The doors began to close, and I stopped them with my hand, I had just noticed something, and it wasn't good. I stepped out of the car, and into Reid. He blushed, and moved away. I couldn't worry about that at the moment. "Um, why doesn't the elevator car have a control panel?"
Hotch gaped at me like I was insane, and he pushed the call button again, the doors opened he stepped inside looked around, and stepped back out. "She's right there's no control panel in there."
The others looked at him, then at me, then into the elevator one by one. "Well, show her where the stairs are Hotch; we have to get back to work." Gideon said glaring at me.
Hotch reached out to grab my arm again, and I ducked away. "Stop it… you're going to leave a bruise, I can walk just fine on my own." I followed him down the hallway, and the rest of the group followed me. We got to the end of the hallway, and Morgan said, "Hey, what happened to the stairs?"
"What do mean what happened to the stairs, they're right -" Gideon broke off in confusion. What happened to the door to the stairway?
"You guys don't have a stairway to use if there is an emergency, isn't that against the fire code." Seven pairs of eyes turned to drill me, and I said, "What?"
"Come on… let's go back to the bull pen, someone needs to call security. I don't know what going on, but I'm sure there's a logical explanation. Gideon said, turning to walk back down the hallway.
"A logical explanation to why the stairs disappeared and the elevator has no controls, what is the Twilight Zone."
Hotch glared at me once more. "This all started when you got here. Why don't you explain it?"
"I can't, all I can tell you is that my brother in law Henry is a big practical joker, and I assumed he hired you guys to act like the characters of my favorite show, Criminal Minds. You're profilers, the best of the best. You're Agent Hotchner; you're the boss, a bully with no sense of humor, who never smiles. He's Agent Gideon, the unit chief, his office looks like the office of a college professor, with a table full of pictures of his past success. They remind him of why he does the job.
I point to Prentiss, "That's Agent Emily Prentiss, she's the new girl kind of nerdy, she speaks Arabic, we don't know too much about your character yet. The blond is Agent Jennifer Jareau, or JJ she's the liaison for the team it's her job to untie bureaucratic knots for you. She's athletic, and looks like a California girl even though she was raised in a small town in Pennsylvania. She's afraid of the woods. The other blond is Garcia, your resident computer genius; she and Morgan have this whole flirtation thing going on that never seems to get anywhere romantically. What is up with that, anyway?"
Morgan and Garcia refused to look at each other. They seemed to find the walls and the carpet far more interesting. Reid was now looking at me like I was his new best friend.
"Anyway, you're name is Agent Derek Morgan, your also a profiler, you teach hand to hand here at Quantico, and you're a complete ladies man. You love to tease Reid, and you have a mother, and three sisters. Your father died a hero, trying to save another child when you were nine years old.
I turned to Reid who blanched and looked away, "You're Dr Spencer Reid. You're a genius with doctorates' in three areas. You have an eidetic memory, and can read twenty thousand words per minute. Your 25 years old, and a bit autistic. Your mother is in an institution - oh I'm sorry Agent Reid my foot likes to live in my mouth." I couldn't believe I just said that out loud. What was wrong with me?
He was looking at me like I'd run over his puppy. I looked away, and my face was burning again. "I only told you all of this because I had to convince you I'm not crazy."
"Well, you might not be crazy, but maybe we are." Gideon said, "There's no stairway, and we should have reached the bull pen, but instead we're still walking down this hallway. What is going on?" He looked at me as if I had all the answers, but I didn't.
"Try one of the doors," Reid suddenly said.
Hotch opened the door, and inside was what looked like a break room, complete with vending machines and a sink, counter space, and a table. There were chairs, and couches, and a refrigerator. A man with dark blond hair, glasses, and blue eyes backed away from the fridge, shut the door, and turned to us. He had a soda in one hand, and a meatball sandwich in the other.
"Hey girl, where the hell have you been, I've been trying to get your attention for weeks now, and you keep ignoring me."
"Oh shut up, she ignores me the most." A black haired man with brilliant green eyes, and a lightening shaped scar on his forehead said, from the couch. "Guys I'm sorry but I -"
"Yeah, yeah we know you only have time for him." The blond gestured to the other person in the room that everyone was staring at. It was another Reid.
"Okay, just what the hell is going on." Who knew Hotch was so loud!"
"I think I know, I think somehow we all got pulled into the fan fiction universe."
"What?" Hotch nearly screamed. I'd never seen him this upset before, but I couldn't blame him; I was pretty freaked out myself.
"What's the fan fiction universe?" Emily wanted to know, her face showing only curiosity.
"It's a place where writers can post stories about their favorite characters from books, movies, and TV shows, their actually pretty fun, my favorite site is -"
"Garcia can we focus please?" Hotch turned his wrath on her. Clearly he didn't believe it, I didn't know if I believed it myself.
"Okay… so if we're in the universe, then who are these people," Gideon asked me.
'Um - I think their my muses."
"Muses, as in Greek mythology," Prentiss said, still looking fascinated by the whole scenario.
"Yes," I said trying to figure out what to do next.
"Actually, the muses were the nine daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne, not three guys in a break room at Quantico." Reid number one said.
"Hey, watch what you say, or I'll sue you for gender bias," Harry Potter said, glaring at Reid number one.
"Yeah, who is this joker Mabel, and why does he look like Spencer."
"Danny, I don't know, I don't even know why I can see you, mostly you guys just give me ideas on how to write the plots I get in my head."
"I don't know, my friend, I just inspire you, it's up to you to make sense of it."
"Oh… that was real cryptic, do you have to be so dramatic?" Harry stuck out his tongue at Danny.
"Hey, no one asked you, so go back to playing with your magic wand, and leave the discussion to the adults."
"Hey Danny… Harry… this isn't helping." I'm shouting, and they both glare at me.
"Hey, can we please just get out of here, we have jobs to do." Hotch moved between me, and my unruly muses.
"Sorry guys, Danny Messer is a bit of a hot head, and I have been ignoring him for awhile." I try to apologize, but they all just look at me.
We left the room and Gideon said, "So is that your name, Mabel?"
"No it's part of my pen name, I don't give out too much true information, and I like my privacy."
"You said part, what's the other part." My eyes stray to Reid, who looks like he's suffering from major sensory overload.
"Um - I'd rather not say if you don't mind."
"Actually I would, you appear here, and we get yanked into another world, and you tell us we don't exist except on television, I'm a little peeved right now."
"Okay… ok… jeez, my pen name is MabelReid."
I refused to look at Dr Reid; I wanted the floor to open up, and swallow me whole. It's bad enough to name yourself after our favorite character, but to come face to face with said character, and have them know that about you; well it's just too humiliating.
"My, man you finally got yourself an admirer." Morgan slapped Reid on the back, nearly knocking him to the floor.
"Shut up Morgan," Reid said, both of us were blushing so hard that I thought we might both spontaneously combust. Hotch was not amused, but then he's Hotch, he'd never amused by anything. "Okay that's enough Morgan; we need to find a way out of here."
Emily opened the second door and a bunch of little bunnies came hopping out of the room, one of them said to me. "There you are Mabel, I've been looking all over for you, and I have this great idea for a story -"
"Not now," I hissed at him. Oh why did this always happen to me at the strangest times. The other bunnies crowded around me, and tried to get my attention.
"What's this," JJ said, stepping away from the white fluffy little bunnies that were either sniffing my feet, or actively sitting on them.
"Ah - these are plot bunnies I think," Could this get anymore embarrassing?
"Just what is a plot bunny," Gideon asked, as I tried to shoo them back into the room they'd left.
"Well it's an idea for a story, and most of the time they are really hard to get rid of till you sit down, and write them out." I was still trying to get the bunnies to leave me alone, it took some doing but I managed to get them back into the room, and I shut the door.
"Finally, they can be extremely distracting, and annoying."
"I guess so," Morgan was laughing, nothing every seemed to ruffle his feathers, except for un-subs.
I saw Reid put a hand on the next door knob, and then he snatched it away like he'd been burned. "Ah - maybe we shouldn't go into another room, who knows what might be in there."
"Come on man, live a little." Morgan turned the knob, and nearly stepped or the edge into a large pool of water, no wait it was the ocean I think.
He cursed, stepped back, and looked at me like it was my fault. I shrugged, and looked into the room with the other. There were ships everywhere some were old, some were new, there were large clipper ships, and small yachts, and little tiny toy ships, all floating in the calm blue water in sunlight.
One particularly large clipper ship sailed off toward the sunset. On the bow there was the name in large gold letters: JJ/REID.
"What is that," JJ asked with a glance at Reid who blushed, and began once again to study the floor in front of him.
"Oh, ah these are ships."
"Well I can see that, but why does that one say JJ/REID on the back?"
"Um, you see in fan fiction, we like to put couples together that don't happen on TV, or in books, and a lot of people like you and Reid together. Actually you're my favorite, that's why the ship is so large I guess." I have never blushed so much in my entire life. The only thing that made it better was that JJ was now as red as Reid was.
"What about the other ships?" Garcia asked, and I mentally cheered her for distracting everyone from the JJ/REID ship.
"Well, there's just about any pairing you can imagine." I turned with a grin to Morgan; I had always wanted to give him a push. "There's even a MORGAN/GARCIA ship, see." I pointed out a large cruise ship in the distance.
It was gratifying to see Morgan looking nonplussed, and Garcia looking like the cat that swallowed the canary.
We made our way down the hall opening random doors. We found a room where everyone was singing in one half of the room, while others were lining up behind one another and shooting a gun, they would take one shot and then move on to the back of the room.
One room was in total chaos. There was Harry Potter in a sword fight with Orks from the Lord of the Rings. We saw several other characters in scenes that made no sense, and then Garcia hissed in my ear that this must be the cross over room.
Finally Hotch had had enough, he glared at me and said, "This is getting no where, are you going to get us out of here or not?"
"I don't know how," I said for the third time.
"Mabel, what were you doing just before this happened?" Gideon asked me.
"I was sitting down to work on my latest story for Criminal Minds and then I was here and…" I trailed off and looked at him. "It was a story about what happens when an author crosses over into the fictional world of TV- wait are you saying I did this?"
"Yes, and you are the only one that can fix it."
"But how?"
"How do you think it can be done?"
"Well… I suppose I could finish the story, and maybe that will send us all back to where we came from."
"It's worth a try, what do you need?" Gideon took my arm only more gently than Hotch had, and we walked back down the hall.
"I need a computer, and some privacy. But how, we can't get back to the bull pen."
"Open the door," Gideon said with a smile that spoke of trust and belief.
So I opened the door because there was nothing else to do. And there was the bull pen, just as it had always been. I had never seen anything so beautiful in all of my life. They gave me a desk, and some space. I know there were other questions they all wanted to ask me, but they left me alone.
I wrote my story, and when the last line was typed, I looked up, and there I was, back in my own place, in front of my own computer.
I swear it's all true, if you don't believe me, look at Reid's desk the next time the show comes on, that little stuffed pink bunny on the top of his in basket is the plot bunny responsible for this.
A/n the names, and appearances of the author and her relative has been changed to protect the innocent. I hope this made you laugh or at least smile. If it did, let me know by using the little review button.