Eventual Title: The silent waves are my company
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing: Stefan/Elena
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Wordcount: 1.408
Used Lyrics: The Wind by The Fray
A/N: So Guys, TVD isn't something I'm really into, but my sister is, so this goes to you, F-ontiptoes. Anyways, neither this amazing nor the TV-Show are mine, so credits go to the Fray (Check them out!) and The CW! Thanks for finding your way and enjoy!
Oh my God, I think I'm lost at sea
The silent waves are my company
And I lost the land between the sky and sea
And wondering, "Will the wind ever come for me?"
Elena knows she's not alone. She knows there's Bonnie and Caroline, there's Rick and Matt and just in case she could still call Jeremy. She knows, there are lots of people looking out for her. She knows. Still, she can't help but feel lonely, well maybe not lonely, but empty. Like Stefan's leaving took all color of her world and now he's back, he's still holding it. She just wished he'd give it back.
"Elena?"
She looks up, startled, hair falling over her shoulders, giving her face free to the rest of the world as she sits on the window still in the library of the Salvatore mansion. She pushes a strand of hair behind her ear and pulls her knees up, Charles Dickens' 'David Copperfield' landing on the floor with a soft thud.
"Stefan."
He doesn't answer but walks over to her something strange, foreign in his eyes as he drops into one of the huge leather chairs standing nearby. He looks tired, she notices, thick dark rings building a crass contrast to his pale skin. His eyes are restlessly scanning the room, darting to another direction at even the tiniest sound. He takes deep, steady breathes, an old habit, something he usually does to reassure himself, his fingers tapping an irregular, rushed rhythm onto the armrest.
"What are doing here?" He asks, focusing on the fluttering of the silken curtains above her head, whispering long forgotten stories into the wind.
"Hiding." Elena says more to herself than to him, but she isn't keen enough to believe he wouldn't have heard her and at least she has his attention now, as he watches her with something calm and strangely familiar in his eyes.
"Damon's been looking for you." He finally says, his brows jumping up just a fraction, revealing hurt and something like defeat to her. Even after all this months she can still read him like an open book, she can feel him, all around her, like she can feel the golden letters stamped into the heavy leather binding of one of his beloved books. She doesn't miss a beat, though, because hurt isn't something she wants to find in those eyes. She wants to get lost and be found right there and then in these eyes. And defeat never dressed him well.
"I know."
He releases one long breath, a sigh almost, careful not form what she still hopes to hear one day again. Forever.
"You don't wanna let him wait, right?" he asks, his voice shaking only the slightest bit, as he laughs a breathless laugh, his voice pitched a little higher than usual. Cynicism doesn't dress him well either, she notes. He stands up, claps his hands together and walks over to the opposite window, peeling the curtains away to get a glimpse whether the world is still turning or time stood still, as it always seems to when he's with her.
"Stefan." Elena calls, softly, coaxing. He doesn't react, but listens intently to whatever lies Damon is telling Caroline upstairs. Lies about him loving Elena, lies about really meaning it. The sad thing with Damon and his lies is that for him they aren't lies. And maybe they aren't lies at all. Maybe, Damon loves Elena and maybe he really only loves for herself, but no matter how selfish that might sound Stefan loves her more. He not only loves her, needs her. He needs her to remind him of who he is, of who he can be.
"Stefan." She repeats a little firmer this time. She can tell he isn't really there, though she can't tell where exactly he is. He turns around eyeing her again.
"What is it you want me to do, Elena?" He asks tiredly, rubbing a hand over his eyes.
"I don't want you to do anything." She replies, knitting her brows together, as she slowly approaches him, her steps echoing on the dark, wooden parquet. He turns around complete, arms crossed in front of his chest, eyes looking anywhere but at her. He takes a step back; she takes one forward and then the other way around again, like they'd be dancing a dance only they have the choreography for.
"What is it you want then?"
Elena laughs, a bitter, unhappy laugh at his words, as she shakes her head and he's backed away far enough to stand right against the window, trapped, exposed to her, completely exposed to soft words, to blinding smiles, to kisses that stole his breathe and to bittersweet memories flashing in front of his closed eyelids, no matter how bad he begged them to go away and leave him be as the beyond help mess he really is.
"You should know me better, Stefan." She has her head cocked to the side, her lips pulled into a sad smile, as she stops only a foot or two in front of him.
"I do." He answers, directly looking her in the eyes for the first time this evening and it takes her breathe away, takes all the air from her lunges at once and pulls the ground from her feet, because she can see him again. There's no bitterness, no Ripper, no compulsion, nothing, only a silent plea for her to understand, to see that he just can't. Elena's not naïve enough to give up just like this, though. And somewhere deep in her heart, she just knows Stefan was counting on that, on her, not to give up on him. He takes a step closer on his own, the air wrapping around them like a blanket on cool days in fall after a heavy thunderstorm.
"Stefan, let go." She reaches out, carefully, as if he's a mile away, as if they're worlds apart, brushing her fingertips over his jawline. He sighs heavily, but catches her wrist in his hand anyways, bringing it down, but keeping it with him anyways, his thumb pressing lightly where her pulse throbs, feeling how it picks up speed at that little gesture.
"I'm trying, Elena. I promise, I do." She nods her head, ignoring the stinging pain in her chest and the way her eyes start burning.
"Will you let me know?" She asks, taking a stuttering breath, the air burning, hurting her lungs as the first stray tear seeks its way down her cheek. He takes a step closer, suffocating her with his presence, with his undeniable scent of old books and fresh grass, with memories aching to be forgotten, with just him. He brushes his thumb under her eyes, gathering all the tears to be shed, hanging in her lashes, before he cups her jaw and forces her to look at him.
"I promise." He mummers just before he leans down slowly, carefully and she can see him thinking, see him consider his options, as his breath fans across her lips.
"Please." It's not more than a breathe, formed to a word, he still he hears her and it doesn't take more than a second for him to lean down and press his lips softly to hers and It feels like home, and like flying and like fearlessness and just like them. He pulls back and exhales, shaking his head just slightly, his eyes glistening with moisture, that shouldn't be there if he really cared as less as he claimed to.
"Take care, Elena." He pleads, swallowing back all the bitterness, all the words hidden so carefully in the darkest corner of his mind, everything he could and would say if he just had any right to.
She nods like the good, brave girl; everybody wants her to be, like the big girl that learned growing up in nothing but the blink of an eye. Elena is just not sure if she wants to be brave, if she wants to be grown up so quick just because she has to be.
With one last smile, he's gone. And she knows she only has to wait. Elena's good waiting, she's patient and in years she'll still be patient, if he'd let her wait. That's okay, though. She can wait.
And if Caroline's right and there is something like destiny or serendipity as she likes to call, they're just ships sailing towards the unavoidable conclusion of all this craziness called life. She'd sail through sun and storm, through wind and weather if only he's there in the end. She knows it'll al be worth it in the end.
I dreamed I found the shoreline
You're standing there
I dreamed I found you waiting.
You were waiting for me, waiting for me.
Fin.
So there you go sweet-hearts. What do you say? Nay or Yay? Top or Flop? Leave love, not only in the review section.