Though I love my wife, Madame Vastra, dearly, and though she often displays a calm demeanor, her temper has often been a sour topic between us.

"I swear, when I am free of these chains, I shall carve out your entrails and make you watch as I DEVOUR THEM SLOWLY, YOU DISGUSTING, FLEA RIDDEN, APE!"

Now, normally, I get a bit peeved when she uses the word "ape" because it's often use as an insult against, well, people like me, and most likely you if you're reading this. Sometimes she tends to think she's better than normally people because she ain't normally people. Sure, she's a reptile lady, but the only difference between is a bunch of green scales, that's what I always say, anyway. 'Sides, I like her scales quite a bit, thank you very much.

Vastra's tounge darted out at the apes with a crack like a whip, but they were just out of reach from her poisonous lash.

Of course, the only reason I didn't get peeved when she used the word "ape" is because, this time, she was actually talking to an ape. Three of them, as a matter of fact. The both of us were chained up like a pile of lumber to a big copper pipe. The apes only snarled back since they couldn't actually talk, you see. That'd be a bit silly, wouldn't it?

Two of the apes returned to the massive cranks attached to a maze of gears, while the third took his place at the helm of the aeroship. From the outside, it looked like one giant hot air balloon the length of an ocean liner connected to a long compartment for the passengers, which is where me and the Madame currently found ourselves trapped. The apes turned the gears and we could hear the roaring flames being pumped into the silver and red balloon to keep it afloat.

"I apologize for that outburst, my dear," Vastra said to me with her customary composed tone of voice, "but we must find a way to free ourselves and stop this airship from reaching its destination."

"Bit obvious, don't you think?"

"I have little patience for humor now, dear. But you may overwhelm me with a plentiful amount of jokes."

"Maybe Strax will-"

"Strax fell head first into the Thames, we'll be lucky if he can even be fished out. This is no time for naive flights of fancy. We need action!"

Through the window of the aeroship, I saw Big Ben was only a few meters away. It wouldn't be long now before-

I should probably go back a bit and explain a few things first though. This whole matter started on a rather rainy Sunday morning...