A/N: Just an idea that latched onto me a couple weeks ago that I needed to get out.
Warning: character death and some language.
Tsubaki stared down at her feet as she sat alone in the monorail cart, on her way back to the Librarium branch in Iwatsuchi. Her hands dripped blood and sweat together in a foul mix. She did not even acknowledge that others stared at her, most likely due to her uniform. At the moment, the last thing she wanted to do was think.
The monorail pulled into its station and a few minutes later, footsteps echoed down an otherwise empty hallway. Tsubaki's eyes did not wander as she strode but just remained focused on the door in front of her. She refused to think about anything else other than her destination. The blood-caked beret in her hand, tangible proof of what she had just done, did everything it could to render that impossible.
At just the mere acknowledgment of the blue hat, she stopped mid-step for just a moment. After collecting her thoughts, she forced her legs to move again. Four more steps brought her to the metal door and she rapped her knuckles against it. "Captain Hazama. May I enter?"
A voice drawled, "Ah, do come in, First Lieutenant."
"Thank you, sir." Tsubaki entered the office and almost slipped on the loose paperwork strewn across the floor. She walked straight up to the wooden desk and dropped the beret on it. "The mission to terminate Noel Vermillion was a success, sir." The words tasted like vomit.
"Hm? Oh, my. Can't say I expected this!" After swiveling his chair so he was no longer facing a dartboard on the wall, Hazama lifted the beret. His eyes broke from their perpetually closed appearance and cracked open enough to reveal slivers of yellow. A smirk, triumphant and sinister, broke out on his lips. He cocked his head toward Tsubaki. "Well, then. Allow me to congratulate you on a mission well done. And hey, dutiful as always, I see. Didn't even stop for a change of clothing before coming to see me. Although...it is rather messy..."
Tsubaki just nodded. Her ivory robes were no doubt coated with blood from her battle. She refused to look at herself to confirm. After a few moments, Hazama's smirk faded. "Hm? Ah, right. Please, give me your mission report, First Lieutenant."
"...Yes, sir." For the first time since killing Noel, Tsubaki forced herself to recollect the battle. As expected, the images that flooded her mind were kicks to the gut and knives to the heart. "We...I...actually set up a meeting with her under the guise of talking it out..." Her stomach twisted. For her to have stooped to so low a level... "Obviously, that didn't happen..."
"Well, duh. I'd hope not, after what she stole from you." He leaned forward, an unnerving grin on his face. "So, tell me. How'd it go down?"
"...I do not wish to divulge the details." If for no other reason than that just thinking about them made her sick. She did her best to keep her eyes off of Noel's hat, even as Hazama spun it on a finger. Almost as if he was taunting her with it, a reminder of what she had done. For all her effort, she could not keep her gaze on him. "All you need to know is that although the ruse failed in having N...Vermillion lower her guard, the mission was still a success."
"Oh, you're no fun." Hazama leaned in and placed the bloodied beret over his own fedora. Yep, definitely taunting her. "At least tell me...did the little bitch have any last words?"
The question was a slap across the face that summoned up yet another memory. Noel, bleeding as her breath weakened and the light in her eyes faded, pleading for Tsubaki to watch out for Hazama, to remember their time together. All with a smile on her face, which struck Tsubaki harder than any of her attacks had and shattered her facade of rage.
Tsubaki took a deep breath and met Hazama's eyes once more. "She did. They are none of your business. May I please be dismissed? I...still need to..."
"Now, now, hold on. I have some, ah, extended orders for you."
Tsubaki glared at him. She wanted nothing more than to get away from this man and be alone with her own sorrows. And if this was remotely similar to her previous orders... "Can this wait until-"
"Nope, sorry. Top priority." Once certain that Tsubaki was going to listen, Hazama allowed his smirk to widen. "Private Makoto Nanaya. Currently working with Sector Seven."
Those horrid yellow eyes shined through cracked lids. "Guess who gets to deal with her."
"N-no..." Tsubaki shook under his gaze as she looked down. "That...can't be..."
"Yep. Look at that. Everybody you ever cared about has betrayed you! How does that..." Hazama cocked his head in curiosity. "...Are you alright, First Lieutenant? You seem to be crying. Allergies, perhaps?"
"I-It's nothing." Inside, Tsubaki seethed. How dare he! After having delivered such orders, after she had slain her best friend, after he had been the one to spur such feelings inside her... This was all his fault, and he had the gall to mock her for it. But she could not allow her rage to show in front of this man...this monster. Rumors of his strength, comparable with that of the Grim Reaper, had permeated the whole of the Librarium the past week. "...Please just leave me alone..."
"Are you sure? I mean, wow, is your face gray. Like looking at a corpse." The concerned mask of Hazama's face was offset by the slightest curl of a smirk. He indicated a couch in his office. "Why don't you lie down for a bit? We wouldn't want you fainting now, would we?"
"...I'm fine, Captain." Tsubaki made no further attempt to conceal her glare. To mention corpses now, after what she'd done... Words, spoken in her own voice, came back to her. What she had said to Noel. What she called her. In that flash of envious rage, she had spouted nothing but hatred, only regretting it when Noel lay in her arms, whispering that last request... Her knees felt like rubber, like they would give at any moment. She had meant none of what was said, and now all she wanted was to have her best friend back. Trembling, she turned away from Hazama and stumbled toward the door. "I'm done here. If you wish to speak with me, do so tomorrow."
"Off to mourn a traitor?" Hazama cocked his head again. "Or just to bawl about how shit you've made your life? I mean, really. Who the hell's gonna be your friend after this? Somehow, I don't think Makoto will exactly accept you back after this. And who knows with Jin... It seems you've met with a terrible fate. And who gets the blame for all of this? Hm? Why don't you answer that before you go wallow in self-pity?"
"...Shut up, you bastard." Tsubaki slammed the door shut behind her and finally allowed her tears to fall without constraint. She kept her head down as she bolted out of the Librarium branch with no regard for the looks she received. Her mind insisted on replaying every possible memory of Noel it could latch onto until she dropped to her knees in the middle of some crowded street and deafened all around her with banshee wails. She did not even notice the NOL officer pull her off to the side and lean her up against the wall to clear the road, such was this black hole of misery. She sunk down to sit and hug her knees as she cried.
Hazama, for all his insults and manipulations and jabs, was right. She had nobody left except for the organization that had brought this upon her. And it was all her fault for giving in to that burst of jealousy. She, who had been rendering some fabrication called 'justice' since she had joined Zero Squadron, had taken an innocent life, one that called her a friend until her final moment. That was not a crime; it transcended that into an outright sin.
Eventually, Tsubaki's tears died down and she continued on her way. Where, she had no idea. She was hollow inside. Broken. Lost and confused. At some point, she pulled herself into some alleyway to stare up at the sky. Once she organized her mind enough to allow for coherent thought, she would reconsider loyalties. For now, however, all Tsubaki could do was mourn who was lost.
