Disclaimer: These characters belong to Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro and TPTB and are not mine. I make no profit from their use.
A/N: This is a sequel to "If Only." You don't need to read it before this one but it may help with background to our characters as they relate to this story.
If Forever
Chapter 1
"So we're alone?"
"Yes, love, we're completely alone. Now, let's get you settled." Maura moved to take Jane's jacket from her and hang it up.
"Let's go into the bedroom, Jane."
"I know I just got home from the hospital, Maura, but I'm not really tired."
"Neither am I, love," Maura said against Jane's lips.
Jane turned and led Maura into the bedroom. Even if she had been tired her feelings for Maura, and the fact she was going to have a chance to show Maura how much she really loved her, reenergized Jane.
They slid under the covers. Jane rolled Maura onto her back and kissed her with a passion rivaled only by Maura's. Jane's eyes raked over Maura's body.
"My God, Maura, you're as beautiful as ever. Damn I'm stupid. Why did I ever let you get away?"
Maura giggled. Just the look on Jane's face as she took her in aroused Maura to no end. The anticipation built up between her legs and Maura pulled Jane's face down to hers.
"Less talk more action, Detective," she smiled up at Jane before kissing her.
"Yes, ma'am," Jane said. Jane's hands began roaming Maura's body, finding all the spots Jane remembered from before and a few new ones as well. Maura's body writhed beneath Jane's and Jane thought she was the luckiest woman in the world.
Jane stared at the blank computer screen. For a long moment she wished she had a typewriter and could just pull the offending blank page out of the machine wad it up and throw it away. As it was, she could navigate off the page…
"Jane, what are you doing?" Frost asked. He spent the better part of two hours running surveillance videos while he noticed Jane spacing out and sighing periodically at her computer screen.
"Nothing. I just-nothing, Frost."
"She's trying to write a poem for Dr. Isles," Korsak volunteered.
"Thanks, Korsak, for not keeping your word," Jane snarled.
"You were trying to write a poem?" Frost tried hard to keep from laughing but lost it. Jane jerked her head up and glared at him.
"Yes, tomorrow is our one week anniversary. I want to tell Maura how I feel about her."
"Aww, how sweet," Korsak said, making gagging noises. Frost laughed again.
"I don't know if this will help Jane but I used to be pretty good in my English classes."
"Yeah, Frost, that must be why you mentioned lips like tempur-pedic pillows when she received that gift basket from Jorge," Korsak laughed.
"That was strictly spur of the moment, Korsak. I do my best work when I've had a chance to sit down and think for awhile."
"Well this isn't helping me at all. I've never been very good at expressing my feelings," Jane protested as she shut down the computer.
"Actually you're wrong about that, Jane. I can think of many times you've managed to express yourself quite eloquently," Maura said. She entered the bullpen and handed off a file to Korsak. Stopping by Jane's desk she perched on the edge and smiled at her girlfriend.
"Oh? And would you care to elaborate, Dr. Isles?" Korsak said playfully.
"No, please don't Maura. These Neanderthals don't need enlightening."
"Yes, we do. You said so yourself Jane, just yesterday when you took that suspect down after he tried to disappear down the alley. Just as you tackled him to the ground you were screaming at me that I should be the one to have to roll him into the curb since I had ape-like arms."
"Jane you tackled a suspect yesterday and wrestled him to the ground? Is that why you were grunting and groaning in bed last night?" Maura was upset. Jane was supposed to tell her if she was injured in any way. Maura was a first-class massage therapist and she wanted to help Jane recover so she had less pain.
Jane glanced at Frost's and Korsak's too interested faces and placed her hand on Maura's arm. "Uh, Maura, I think you need to filter your responses a little bit."
"Jane, all I said was you were grunting and groaning in bed last night and I had nothing to do with it," Maura protested and then stopped as she realized what she said. Frost and Korsak grew quiet, listening to every word. Jane sighed.
"Never mind, I think we fulfilled their fantasies for awhile."
"I'm sorry, Jane," Maura said. She hopped off the desk and turned for the elevator. Jane saw her 'kicked puppy' expression on her face and grabbed Maura's arm.
"It's okay, Maura, you didn't mean anything and the guys just like to read all kinds of innuendo into every innocent remark." Jane put her arm around Maura's shoulders. Although everyone in the precinct knew they were together and living with each other in Maura's home Jane didn't like being affectionate around her coworkers.
"I just don't like finding out you're hurt when you come back in from a call. I wish you'd tell me these things, Jane. I can help you, you know. I could have given you a massage to make your back feel better."
Jane leaned in to whisper in Maura's ear. "You can give me a whole body massage tonight if you like." Maura shivered. She kissed Jane and returned to the morgue.
Jane resettled at her desk trying to corral her thoughts about Maura in a small poem. After a few more minutes of blank paper Jane gave up. She wadded up the paper and aimed for the wastebasket. "Two points!" she called out as the paper landed perfectly in the trash.
"My sister should be playing for the Celtics," she heard Frankie's voice behind her.
"Yes I should. But I decided the city of Boston and its fine people did better with a crack homicide detective instead," Jane quipped.
Frankie sat down on the corner of her desk. "I came to talk about Angelo and Caitlyn."
"Aren't they in school today?"
"Yes, I dropped them off this morning. Angelo's teacher told me she needs to speak with you. I guess Angelo has been having trouble on the playground. He's being teased by some of the other kids."
Jane's shoulders slumped. "I was afraid of this, Frankie. I was hoping for a little more time before we had to deal with all of this."
"Maura suggested counseling, didn't she?" Frankie asked.
"Yes, but I was hoping we could bring them home, get them settled back into a routine with Maura and I first. I can see that isn't going to happen."
"Ma thought Angelo should have been at the funeral."
"I know. We talked about it. Frankie, Angelo started having nightmares right after Joey died. Somehow the nightmares morphed into him being upset at his daddy being locked in a box for all eternity. How am I supposed to let him see Joey in a casket at his age?" Jane leaned forward, her head in her hands.
"I just wish they hadn't been in the car when Doyle's men opened fire."
"Yeah, I still don't know why that happened when it did. I haven't been in touch with Daddy Dearest lately," Jane said sarcastically. She glanced over at a large case file that sat in the bottom of her inbasket. It was Joey's file. His assassination as well as his involvement with the Shannon Clan, a rival Irish mob to Paddy Doyle, was spelled out in numerous pages in that manila folder. Jane read it every night and added to it daily.
Maura completed the autopsy at Jane's request. At first Maura thought it better to have one of her assistants do it for complete objectivity until Jane pointed out that Maura's meticulousness would help to make sure Joey's file was complete. Although they knew he'd been murdered by Doyle's men Jane knew it was highly unlikely anyone would ever be convicted of his murder. She wanted the file completed for herself and her family.
Maura's autopsy report and related lab results took up one-third of the file. The rest was information on both the Shannon Clan, which Joey headed, and other members of various Irish mobs known to be in the Boston area. Detailed diagrams and reports of the day Joey died, when Jane rode the hood of his car while trying to stop Joey from running away with their children, also populated the file.
Jane sat back and sighed as she thought of it. She knew Joey needed to be taken down but she was hoping to arrest him, not have him shot to death with his children in the back seat of the car. Jane still recalled with vivid clarity the look of horror on Angelo's face.
And now Angelo was having trouble at school. "Thanks, Frankie, I'll tell Maura to set up the first counseling sessions and we'll get started. Is Angelo still resistant about coming home?"
"He doesn't talk about Maura's house directly Jane, just says how much he enjoys 'batching' it with me."
"As long as he doesn't turn into a permanent bachelor at your place, Frankie. I appreciate your willingness to keep him for a little while longer."
"Sure, Jane, anything for my nephew. And my sister," Frankie added, kissing Jane's cheek as he stood.
"I have to get back out there. Come by anytime, you know that." Jane did know. She and Maura visited her kids daily but Jane wanted them home. They couldn't be a family with her children farmed out to Frankie and her parents.
The night Joey was killed Maura's house was still considered a crime scene. Angelo was checked out at the hospital and upon discharge Jane asked Frankie to take him home. She only intended it to be overnight; when the investigation moved off Maura's property Jane wanted her kids to come home. Unfortunately the trauma proved to be too much for them to handle from the beginning and Jane acquiesced to Angelo staying with Frankie and Caitlyn with her grandparents.
Jane frowned when she thought of Caitlyn. Tears started down her cheeks as she thought of her little girl, reduced to a quivering mass curled in a ball on Jane's old bed. Caitlyn scrunched down in the back seat when Jane leaped onto the hood of the car and Joey accelerated backward in an attempt to throw Jane off the car. Jane didn't think Caitlyn saw the actual shooting but couldn't be sure.
Caitlyn wasn't speaking. To anyone. She didn't want to talk to Angela, not even about needing a glass of water. When Jane came anywhere near her Caitlyn howled. The only one who could reach Caitlyn was Maura. She allowed the medical examiner to sit with her and hold her, stroking the little girl's back in a soothing manner. But Caitlyn spoke to no one.
After their last visit to her Maura broached the subject of counseling to Jane.
"I know, Maura. I know they need it but I was hoping we'd get them home first, settled into a routine."
"I don't think that's possible right now, Jane. Caitlyn needs some help now."
"I know," Jane replied in such a despairing manner Maura reached over and rested her hand on Jane's thigh.
"With time, Jane, she'll be fine," Maura consoled. She hoped so. She was afraid Caitlyn needed to be hospitalized but wanted to wait and see what the counselor suggested.
Jane snapped out of her reverie when she heard Maura's heels as she exited the elevator. Maura was ready to leave for the day. She grabbed Jane's jacket for her and held it open. After Jane stepped into her jacket Maura reached up and wiped away Jane's tears.
"None of that, love. Everything will be fine, in time."
TBC I'm hbCarolyn on twitter.