A/N: It has been a while since I have wrote a story. Life happened and found myself not being able to write as much as I wanted to, and my desire to write was no longer there. I found myself really struggling to write, but I recently have had the urge to write again as of late. I also started playing this new Harry Potter game on my phone, and that gave me the urge to write a Harry Potter story XD.
This story is a bit based off of my experience attending the Pride Parade within my hometown. I am more of an ally, although I do consider myself as someone who is bi-curious. I am also polyamorous, which I hear is a sub-community within the LGBTQ+ community, you can correct me if I am wrong. If you wondering, no, my fem!Harry will NOT be polyamorous, but there may be references to the polyamorous lifestyle in one of my one-shots. If this makes you queasy, I suggest you read something else because I will not shy away from it. Basically, I was really inspired by attending Pride Parade and celebrating with other people of different types of sexual orientations, genders, lifestyles, etc. and it really inspired me to write a story about learning to accept and love who you are through a Harry Potter story, as I am learning to love and accept who I am myself and learning to accept who other people are.
There will be a focus on social justice issues for LGBTQ+ youth, references to biphobia, homophobia, etc. in some of these one-shots. Under no circumstances will I accept flames! If you send a flame, despite me asking you not to, I will delete the flame. You have been warned! Constructive critique will be accepted, tho.
Summary: A series of one-shots that focuses on a bisexual fem!Harry. Hariana 'Harri' Rose Potter learns about her sexuality at a very young age and struggles to navigate her way through the years at Hogwarts with it.
Rated: T for references to sexuality, language
Chapter One: Realizing It
Second Year
Harri was having a bit of a mental breakdown. Well, not an actual one where her mind was gone and needed to be sent to the loony bin. No, not that kind of mental breakdown. It was more of the kind of mental breakdown that a pre-teen goes through when they discovered something that may be seen as bad or impure to others. Like, the first time a pre-teen discovers masterbation. Harri was still trying to get that image of catching Dudley doing just that in the bathroom one time during the summer before she came back to Hogwarts for her second year.
Ew, gross!
This discovery was a bit different, though, and Harri was not sure what to do about it. That she, Hariana 'Harri' Rose Potter, the Girl-Who-Lived, was bi.
Harri thinks that she knew she was bi ever since she was little, but could not exactly put a word or label to it until just now. Aside from learning that she was a witch when she was only 11 years old, Harri always knew she was different. She always found herself not only liking boys, but girls as well! She might have known ever since she kissed this popular girl during her primary school on a dare. It was just a dare, but after their lips touched, Harri had found that the kiss was rather…pleasant. She did not necessarily feel repulsed by it, but to be kissed by her felt rather nice.
But she thought nothing of it after that, thinking that it only felt nice because it was a good kiss, despite it only being a dare; and that she only liked boys, having a bunch of crushes of Muggle male popstars. But even as much as she tried to deny it, the thoughts kept coming back into her head.
Every once in a while, she found herself looking at a girl and think how pretty she looks and found herself developing somewhat of a crush on her. As of late, she discovered that she had a bit of a crush on Ginny Weasley, her best friend's little sister, and it was only until she read an article in the Daily Prophet about a well-known wizard coming out as bisexual that she finally able to put a word for these feelings she has been having for both boys and girls over the years.
As enlightening as this discovery was, Harri was filled with a sense of fear and dread. Not because she was scared of these feelings…well, maybe she was scared of them a little, but she was scared mainly because of how everyone she knew would react if they ever found out that she, the Girl-Who-Lived, was bisexual. As far as she knew, not many people were very accepting of people who were bi in the Muggle world, and the Wizarding World did not seem that different either.
Harri could recall getting caught kissing the popular girl by her primary teacher and getting a severe reprimanding from her, remembering her saying that it wasn't "natural" for girls to kiss other girls. Going back to the Dursleys that same very day was no better. When she got there, she discovered that the Headmaster had called and told Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia what had happened. Not being happy about Harri kissing a girl was an understatement, Uncle Vernon was livid! She has never seen him that angry until Harri was told that she was a witch by Hagrid. She had gotten a severe beating from him and was given no meals for three days because of it. Vernon had yelled at her so loudly, telling her that she was going to get kicked out and that she was going to get AIDs if she ever did it again. Harri did not even know what AIDs was until she overheard the news on the TV talking about it while she was doing chores, but the experience left her feeling so scared and ashamed for even liking it that she tried desperately to suppress these feelings, and it worked, to an extent.
As much as Harri loved the Wizarding World (it was where she discovered a part of who she was, after all), there was one thing that Harri noticed that makes it similar to the Muggle World, and that is their animosity towards people who were gay or bi, or anyone who did not seem to follow the gender norms of society. Even in the Wizarding World, there seemed to be a sort of social standards of what is acceptable and not acceptable for both boys and girls. For example, Harri did not consider herself too much of a girly girl, more of a tomboy than anything else, and she often got ridiculed by her fellow female peers for preferring sports over putting on makeup and dressing up, or preferring to wear jeans and t-shirts over dresses and skirts. Even Malfoy liked to mock her by calling her a "butch".
With some of these social norms in place, Harri wondered if the Wizarding World had the same set of attitude towards queer people that most Muggles seemed to have, or if they were different. From the way the Daily Prophet article described the wizard coming out as bi sexual, she thinks it is not so different. The journalist who wrote the article was borderline homophobic, making slights at the wizard's sexual orientation and even included an interview with some of the wizard's relatives of how promiscuous he was because of the "many lovers" he has had. She didn't even really know what that word was until she asked Hermione, and it took some time before the bush-haired girl finally stammered out what it meant. It did not necessarily make Harri feel good and she started to wonder if maybe that because she was bi, she was promiscuous.
Was she really, though? Did being bi sexual mean that she was promiscuous?
Harri did not know for sure, and she did not necessarily want to go up and ask Hermione because that would mean she would have to disclose to her that she was bi. Harri did not think she was ready for that yet as she was unsure of how Hermione would react. Hermione did not seem to be the kind of person who would judge her for being bi, but she wasn't sure, nor was she sure of how Ron would react. And the fear of possibly losing the only people she ever really loved and cared about is what kept her from telling them.
The need to talk to somebody about it was becoming stronger every day, but who could she talk to? She couldn't think of anyone who she could trust with her secret. Then she thought of something…
"Is there anything that you wish to tell me?"
She recalled Professor Albus Dumbledore asking her that question when she was in his office the day Professor McGonagall sent her to his office over Justin Finch-Fletchley and Nearly Headless Nick being petrified. She could tell that he sense something was wrong, and it is probably why he asked that question, but hearing Hermione's voice about how hearing voices was not a good sign, she choose not to say anything. But now, she is thinking that maybe this is something she can tell Dumbledore about it.
There was still that fear of the possible consequences of what might happen if she confessed to him that she was bi sexual, but she had a hunch that maybe this was something she could trust him with.
With her mind made up, Harri got up from her bed and made her way to Dumbledore's office.
Harri could feel herself lose her nerve as she stood right outside of Dumbledore's office. Here she was about to go and confess to someone her deepest secret, and she wasn't sure if she could trust him with that secret. The memories of the Headmaster at her primary school telling her uncle and aunt about her "bad behavior" and them punishing her for it kept playing in her head over and over again.
What if Dumbledore is like the other Headmaster and sees me as someone who is sick and needs help? What if he just tells my uncle and aunt what I am about to say and I end up getting punished for it again?
Taking deep breaths, Harri tried remaining calm and tried not letting her anxious thoughts get the best of her.
'It was now or never…'
And Harri wasn't sure how much longer she could take without telling anyone before she finally exploded. Raising her hand, she finally knocked on the door.
"Enter!" came the jovial voice of Dumbledore.
Steeling herself before she lost her nerve again, Harri slowly opened the door and went inside the office, seeing Professor Dumbledore sitting in his office with Fawkes perched right beside him.
"Ah, Harri, what a pleasant surprise!" Dumbledore said with a smile on his face when he saw that it was her. "Come in, come in!"
Harri approached his desk, still feeling apprehensive about saying what she wants to say.
"I trust that Miss Granger is recovering well from being petrified?"
"Hmm? Oh yes, of course, she is doing well!" Harri replied. "She was a bit disappointed that you cancelled the exams, but that is how she is."
Dumbledore gave a small chuckle.
"Of course. She is an exceedingly bright witch, your friend, I can tell that she is going to accomplish great things."
"Of that I don't doubt, sir," Harri said.
The small talk was helping Harri feel a little more at ease and maybe better prepare of what she was about to say.
"So," Dumbledore began, "what brings you here, Harri?"
Harri took a deep internal breath, trying to calm her nerves.
"I kind of wanted to talk to you about something, something that has been bothering me for a while. It has nothing to do with the Chamber of Secrets, but it has more to do with an article that I read in the Daily Prophet earlier…"
"I assume that you mean the article that everyone in the school is talking about?" Dumbledore asked
"Sir?"
"The article that talks about my friend's sexual orientation."
"Ah, yes, yes, it is that article…"
Harri bit her lip, unsure of how to say this.
"Is there something you wish to tell me, Harri?"
There was that question again. Harri could feel herself getting more nervous by the minute.
"There…is something…I wish to tell you, Professor."
"What is it, Harri?"
Harri took a deep breath before she finally said what she needed to say.
"I was particularly bothered by what the article said about his sexual orientation, and…and it got me thinking…. The way the article described it made it sound as if it was a bad thing, for the wizard to be attracted to both sexes, and it just got me thinking—"
"That what this article said about someone being bi, does that mean that you are like this as well?" Dumbledore interrupted her.
It took a moment for Harri to register what Dumbledore had said, but once she did, she looked at him in shock, gaping. How did he know that was what she was going to say? She could see him looking at her with understanding and he got up from his desk.
"I understand how you feel, Harri…" Dumbledore began as he walked around his desk to stand in front of her, "as I myself have had these thoughts when I was your age."
Harri's eyes went wide as she finally understood the meaning of his words.
"You mean that…?"
"Yes, I am," Dumbledore replied, "although I am not of the same orientation as you."
The shock did not wear off quite yet for Harri. Here was her Headmaster, expecting him to be repulsed by her and punish her for having such "sinful" thoughts, only to be surprised by having him not only accept her feelings, but confess himself to her that he is gay.
"I understand what you are going through, Harri, Dumbledore said. "And I can tell you that your orientation does not put you in a category that people put you in. You are who you are, you feel what you feel, and that makes it valid."
Dumbledore continued,
"I know that it can be scary being who you are and being in two different worlds where both don't want to accept you for who you are, and I think that's why it is good to have great friends to help us guide us through it."
For once in the twelve and a half years of her life, Harri felt a weight lifted off her shoulders and a smile came onto her face. She was accepted! And by someone who himself was a little like her, more or less. But then his words about friends registered in her mind and her smile fell a bit.
"Uh, sir, I haven't exactly told my friends yet about it," Harri said. "A part of me is still scared of what might happen if I was to tell them. I can imagine Hermione being a little more accepting, but Ron…"
"I understand…"
"Let me leave you with this one piece of advice then: your true friends are the ones who will love and accept you no matter what. Those are the kind of friends that you want to hold on to. Do you understand?"
Harri nodded, even though she only understood a little of what he said. His words only became more clearer to her when she finally confessed to Ron and Hermione about her sexual orientation.
"Good," Dumbledore said. "Now, off you go! You got a lot of packing to do before you take the train back to London."
"Thank you, Professor."
And with that, they bid each other goodbye with Harri going back to the Gryffindor House, feeling a lot less heavy than she did before and a lot happier. For once in a long time (not ever since she found out she was a witch), she did not feel so alone.
A/N: I decided to have Dumbledore disclose to Harri about his sexual orientation, I felt as if anyone should be the first to know about Harri being bi it's Dumbledore since he is gay (JK Rowling said it herself) and who better to understand her situation than him? Next chapter will focus on Harri coming out to Ron and Hermione in her third year.
Also, I want to make sure that I bring out the experiences of being bi-sexual as accurate as possible, so if you have any suggestions, please feel free to leave one. I am only going based off of my own experiences of being polyamorous (and being polyamorous is somewhat different than being bi) and what I know about the bi community through research and friends. I will also accept suggestions on different titles for the story as I am not sure if this title really fits, just can't think of a different title right now. Once again, tho, no flames! Constructive critique are welcomed.
