Disclaimer: It really is what it says on the tin. Have a chuckle or two.
Blake flipped to the next page, amber eyes intently focused on the text as the heroine in the story raced towards certain doom. After spending the past week trekking through Forever Fall for the umpteenth time that summer alone, the Faunus was eager to submerge herself in the fictional world of her latest book series addiction. Five books down and she was on the last installment, the culmination of so many threads coming together in a bid to bring down the stalwart heroine who'd already weathered everything else the bad guys could throw at her- with some help, of course. Now, several plot lines were coming to a head, the do-or-die situation the author had hinted at since page one just a few moments away, and-
"Blake!" Her wife's voice rang out from down the hall, drawing closer. "Blake, did you seriously leave me to unpack by myself?" Barely biting back a groan as her ears fell, the Faunus raised her gaze in time with the woman appearing in the doorway, hands on her hips. "What are you doing?"
"I'm reading," she replied with a slightly raised brow, briefly noting how her wife hadn't bothered to change yet, much like herself. Their clothes were wrinkled but serviceable- the set they'd picked ahead of time for the debriefing session and not their combat gear- but there was still grime beneath coating their skin. The Faunus thought she could avoid the lecture by immediately retreating to her side of their study, the big comfy chair she used for reading abused enough from years of use to not mind a little extra dirt. Not that the woman wouldn't dedicate herself to cleaning up every stray speck come next week, but at least then Blake would be done with her book and able to help out before diving into the next series.
"Seriously, Love?" Weiss leaned against the door frame, blue eyes tracing up and down the Faunus' form. "You haven't even changed-"
"I really want to finish this book." She nodded towards the pages, indicating perhaps another hundred or so until the end.
"Blake Belladonna-Schnee, we just spent an entire week out in the wilderness, and the first thing you want to do upon returning home is read?" She rolled her eyes, massage her temple with one hand. "I'm not surprised, per say, but really- this is your first order of business?" At the Faunus' silence- because they'd been married long enough for it to be obvious when a question was rhetorical- Weiss let out a theatrical sigh, turning away to march down the hall. "I suppose I'll have to settle for Plan B, then."
Blake's ears flicked, registering the particular tone of her wife's voice: equal parts annoyance and mischievous intent. Hurriedly returning her attention to the pages and trying to lose herself in the fictional world before the real world could steal her attention away. The heroine was on the verge of starting the final battle, her companions at her side and every advantage stolen away, but somehow she would triumph, through sheer grit and-
"Who's ready for a bath?" Her ears perked at the sound of her lover's voice drifting down the hallway, a singsong lilt that effectively commandeered her attention away from printed words. Amber eyes shot to the doorway, waiting to see if it was simply her mind playing tricks on her or if Weiss was pulling out the big guns in an effort to thwart her reading. "You are, aren't you my little sweet?"
Her wife was cooing in that sweet little voice that never failed to bring a smile to Blake's lips, especially when she could coax it out without her wife's intention. However, a cold ball of dread dropped into her stomach the moment she realized there was only one reason Weiss would be talking like that to seemingly no one.
I am not jealous.
"A nice soak with my one and only; sounds lovely, doesn't it?" The woman in question entered the doorway, cradling the small abomination Yang had gotten her a year ago as a gag gift. Leave it to the former heiress to turn a joke into a means of psychological torture.
The horrid thing was a small, round, stuffed plush fashioned after a black cat, with wide yellow rimmed eyes, a comically small mouth, little ears a bit too much like her own, and a little tail- a little Blake, the blonde had explained, for whenever the woman was feeling lonely. Not once since it was brought into their house had the horrible little ball seen an ounce of affection while the Faunus was physically gone, though. No, it would sit on its shelf, untouched, the entire time she was away.
But the moment she got back, if she failed to pay her wife enough attention? Different story.
"A relaxing bath, scented candles, bath bomb, just the two of us- sounds romantic, doesn't it?" Lithe fingers traced around the plush's ears, making her own flick from the ghost sensation of nails lightly tracing around the sensitive appendages.
I am not jealous of a plush.
Only then did amber eyes deviate from the source of her ire to note that Weiss had pulled off a very quick change of clothes. Then again, taking off everything she wore and slipping on a nigh see-through robe wasn't too time consuming, especially with the belt half tied and threatening to open at the slightest tug.
"My sweet Little Blake, always there when I need her."
I. Am not. Jealous. Of a plush.
"Come, let's not delay." Blue eyes flicked up, meeting her gaze for just a second. "There's just so much fun to be had, and so little time."
She was less than a hundred pages away from finishing the book. Weiss was intentionally trying to entice her to put that off. Logically, finishing the book tonight meant she could spend all day tomorrow showering her wife with affection. Even if she didn't like the smug look that stupid little plush was sporting, she wasn't going to let it break her, and she tore her gaze away from the empty doorway to return her attention to the heroine's plight.
Her ears flicked towards the sound of running water, but she was not going to bend on this. If she read really fast, she might be able to grab a shower and slip into bed with her wife, at least cuddle up to the woman while they fell asleep. Yes, the appearance of that little monstrosity usually meant that Weiss would cuddle with it instead, just to drive the point home, but she could be very persuasive when-
And then the scent of the woman's potent vanilla bath bomb, one of the specialty ones she ordered from Atlas and only used for really long baths, the type where she would take extra time to massage out every lingering ache with deft fingers, and she was using it with that damn plush.
Fine. I'm jealous of a plush.
Slipping her bookmark between the pages quickly, Blake snapped the book shut and left it in the chair, shedding her jacket on the way out of the study. Her first priority was getting rid of that damnable plush.
Her second was being very thorough in reminding her wife that no mere inanimate object could compare to the level of comfort she could provide, regardless of how unwarranted the lesson might be.
Third? Sweet revenge.
Author's Notes: Apparently, there's such a thing as a neko dango- which appears to be a round cat plush. Tumblr user dashingicecream got one and posted a picture of it; I had this little scene and a few others pop into my head, and they made me laugh. Thought I'd share.