Veronica's POV. Anyone know what exactly happened to Leanne (her mom)? Yeah I seem to like Jake Kane lately. No idea why though.
don't own.
Forgetting was not an option.
It had never been. She was never going to forget her best friend. Never. For as long as she lived she would remember her. Every single thing about her. Ever moment they spend together. The sound of her voice. The sound of her laugh. She would remember it all.
She should have known it wasn't that easy.
Some things just slip away. Because she's to young to really remember what happened. Or because to much time passes. And details just slip away. Things you didn't think were worth remembering at the moment. Things you never think about again. Things that become unused are forgotten.
She never thought she'd forget. She should have realized.
Remembering it all was difficult.
It should be the happiest day of her life.
She got into the university of her dreams. Stanford. Sure she still had to get a scholar ship. But she got in. That was something. Her father was just as exited as she was. For a second – a split second – she wonders what her mom would think. She would be happy. She would be. She's sure of it.
Maybe it's just a lie she tells herself. Just so she doesn't feel the pain.
She calls Wallace immediately. He's just as happy as she is. He knows they probably won't be at the same school. But they might be close to each other. Depending on which other schools he gets in. It doesn't matter. You're celebrating tonight. You all got in college. It's time to celebrate. Forget school for one night. Forget everything for one night. Forget the fact that there's an entire bus of class mates that will never get in their dream school.
They go to the beach. It seems stupid. Boring even.
But for all of them it feels like home.
It happens in the middle of the night.
She's asleep. Dreaming of Stanford. It's a long forgotten memory. When she was a child Jake Kane had once taken the three of them to Stanford. It's when she fell in love with the school. The dream is weird though. It's a memory that much is clear. But it's unclear. As if she's looking at it trough mist. It's completely silent as well.
She wakes up screaming. She doesn't remember the dream.
Once she calms down enough she goes for a glass of water. Her acceptance letter is still there. She smiles. Her biggest dream. She had been dreaming it for years. Along with her best friend. Suddenly she wants to share it with her. She does it without thinking. Her brain doesn't catch up with her actions. She goes to her room and picks up her phone. She wants to call Lilly.
She needs her best friend. She forgets she's dead for a second. Then everything changes.
She can't remember the number.
She freezes.
She has forgotten her number. She never thought it would happen. She called it so many times. And now it's gone. Gone. Disappeared. Teas appear in her eyes. She's forgetting. This can't be happening. Not today of all days. She takes a deep breath and tries again.
It's gone. Slowly other realizations come.
The dream comes back. She can't remember much about when they were small children. Only some memories are extremely clear. Some memories even of later years are forgotten. Forgotten because at the time they were not important enough to remember. She can't remember the password of her computer. Or the number of her locker. She can't even remember what Lilly gave her for her 8th birthday.
It's all gone. She can't remember it. The realization hits her hard.
Lilly is slowly slipping away
She begins to wonder.
Will she forget other things as well? Did she forget these things because they weren't so important? Because she was to young to remember them? She forgot things. She can't deny it. But she remembers other things. She has very clear memories of Lilly. Other things are not forgotten.
Does this mean she's forgotten? Or just that she never remembered?
After all the forgetting of the phone number could be seen as normal. She hadn't called the number in almost two years. When she thought about it, it was rather normal she would forget it. When you stop using something eventually you'll forget it. She remembered other things. But this forgetting had inspired a fear in her. Would this mean that one day she'd wake up and have forgotten her?
Maybe one day somebody would ask her about Lilly Kane.
And she'd have no answer.
She tried to sleep.
She didn't succeed. The happiness she had felt that morning had faded. The next morning she tries to put on a show for her father. But he sees right trough it. He doesn't ask questions though. He must see it in your eyes. You only look this distraught about Lilly. He must have been expecting it. Your dreams are coming out. Hers never will.
She doesn't go to school. She goes to Lilly's grave.
There she breaks down. She falls down on her knees and for the first time truly cries. She doesn't know how long she sits there. After a while the tears run dry. Suddenly she feels a hand on her shoulder. She looks up to find herself looking at Jake Kane. She hasn't seen him since she found out who murdered his daughter. She thought he was still in jail. Apparently he isn't.
She thought he would be angry. He just looks understanding.
He offers to buy you lunch. You agree.
At first there's silence.
They sit in front of each other. Aware of the baggage between them. The history. She is his dead daughter's best friend. His fugitive son's girlfriend. He is the man who destroyed her father's career. Destroyed her life. Slept with her mother. Might have been her father.
He had set in motion some things. He could never take them back.
Still she finds herself opening up to him. Perhaps because they had both loved Lilly. And they had both lost her. 'I think I'm forgetting her.' Veronica's voice is barely louder than a whisper. Jake is silent for a long time. She thinks he might not have heard her. He did. 'You wont. You loved her Veronica. She was your best friend. You're afraid to forget her. But you won't. You can't. We can't. Lilly is a part of you. a part of us. We couldn't forget her more than we could forget ourselves. You won't forget her. I promise.' Their eyes meet and she believes him. They eat the rest of the lunch in silence.
When they leave he shakes her hand. 'I'm sorry.' He suddenly sais.
She tells him she already knew that.
She doesn't tell her father about the lunch.
There's no need for it. She didn't ask Jake about her mother. She wanted to. But she didn't. She figured she had been searching for her mother for years. If her mother wanted to know about her. If her mother wanted forgiveness. She should look for her daughter.
That's why she was the mother. She thinks Leanne might need a new dictionary.
She gets the box the next day. Jake Kane mailed it to her. It's filled with pictures and tapes. Every single one of both her and Lilly. He tells her she can take copies of them. He just wants them back. Now Veronica will remember the things she was to young to remember. A ghost of a smile appears on her face. She watches the tapes for the entire day. What a way to spend a Saturday. Wallace arrives at a sudden point. He sees the tapes and sits beside you.
He never talks. He just sits by your sides. Watching as two little girls run across the screen.
He smiles. It's how she knows he's the best friend she's ever had.
He's her brother.
She dreams again that night.
She's floating alone in a Lilly covered pool. She looks at the sky with tears in her eyes. The sound of laughter makes her look up. And there she is. Just like Veronica always remembered her. Beautiful. Smiling at her. 'Here we are again. We've been here before.'
Veronica almost smiles as well.
'I thought that was goodbye.' 'It was. You're not forgetting Veronica. The phone number doesn't matter. It doesn't mean anything. You won't forget about me Veronica. You already told me that. You could never do it.' Lilly sits up and reaches out over the gab between them. She hugged Veronica close to her.
It's the first time Ghost Lilly has ever touched her. Veronica feels home.
She wakes up with a smile on her face.
She knows she'll never forget that.