(anti)
_[ riku / kairi ]_
-drabble-
} down {
(safteysuit)
Tell Me Why
I never tried to be anything short of perfect. I was always trying to be the best. To be what you needed from me. Because I loved you. I loved you more than my own life.
I sacrificed absolutely everything for you. I sold my soul to the devil, I travelled until my feet bled so that I could find, I shut myself in the darkness to save you. I did all of that.
But you chose him. You chose him.
And all I ever wanted you to tell me is why. That's all I ever asked from you, and you didn't even have a good enough answer.
No matter what I ever did. I always ended up alone.
Call me crazy, call me stupid, call me whatever you like, but I think what I did was enough. I think I did all that was in my power. I searched for more power through the darkness so that I could have a better chance of saving you. And you choose him.
What is it about me that you find so repulsive?
Is it that I betrayed him?
Is it that I gave my heart to the darkness?
Is it that I wasn't there to say goodbye?
Is it that even after all that, I still had to rely on the darkness still inside me?
Or is it that I'm not him?
You could have the decency to tell me that. You could have the decency to tell me what I did so wrong that I couldn't earn your love. Even though everything that you could hate me for, I did to save you. To protect you.
I betrayed him because he betrayed us.
I gave my heart to the darkness to obtain more power to give you the heart you lost.
I wasn't there to say goodbye because I was too busy fighting off the million heartless inside that horrible place.
I had to rely on the darkness inside me so that I could win the fight between the one thing that was in the way on returning him to you safely. Because I didn't have the strength to go home and protect you myself.
I left him with those instructions. I told him to protect you. I never told him to come find me. I didn't want him to find me. Ever. I wanted to be away from both of you for the rest of my life. I couldn't, I can't live in his shadow, with the awful shame that I failed you.
You might think he came to find me because he was just such a good friend. That he was so dedicated and so great.
A good friend would have left me alone. Maybe I wouldn't be in the sorry state I'm in now if he hadn't found me.
I wish you could just let me leave. I don't want to be so desperate for your love anymore. I just want you to set me free.
I never meant to hurt you. I will never mean to hurt you.
- For Jenn. -
I truly apologize for this one.
I have no idea where this came from.
This is worse that one-sided. It's anti.
I never thought I'd see the day where I did that.
I'm frightened.
Is the world coming to an end?
Nonetheless, I hope you liked it.
I'll try to write some more Riku/Kairi happiness.
And your Clerith and Namora ones are on the way.
And a new Riku/Kairi one…
MERRY CHRISTMAS AGAIN!
I love youuuu! :)
R&R
It makes me happy!
Katie