FF: I just can't believe
Author: Michelcz
Characters: Catherine Willows, Gilbert Grissom
Spoiler: upcoming season 9
A/N: This story is set up after the death of Warrick but before Grissom's departure and saying goodbye to the show. One important note. Sara never came back! And the story was written before the first episode was aired.
Grissom's POV
I just can't believe it. I can't believe that one of my oldest friend in the lab is dead. We still don't know who killed him but I can't just put away the suspicion that under sheriff is somehow connected to that murder. I just don't know why I'm thinking it. It has taken a toll on my. I feel that I'm burnt out so that I have only one thing on my mind these days. I have to leave the lab. I already wanted to leave the lab a year ago but I came back from my Sabbath. Today, I'm standing before the decision about not just leaving the lab but also the city where I've spent so many happy years. I want to forget that a city like is Las Vegas ever exist but I am not able to do this. I have so many strings which are tying me to that city.
The most important connection to this city is a woman. Not just some ordinary woman but one and only one Catherine Willows. My beautiful companion of more than twenty years. I've made a decision. I've decided to resign on the supervisor position and leave the lab and take an offer from the local university and start teaching there.
I can't believe that it's finally happening. I've been waiting for that exact moment my whole life. I've spent many lost years of longing after that woman and now I'm behaving like some having-crush-on teenager. I'm feeling like my legs are going to let me fall down on the sterile floor of that damn lab. It's something so surreal and unbelievable for me. Everything I'm doing just now, is standing in front of the closed door of Catherine's Willows office and trying to find the courage with which I came here. I'm glad that the door is closed 'cause she would be able to read in me in the moment she would see me standing here. She's only one who is able to read in me like in some book. She's the one that sees behind my thick barriers I've built around me so I couldn't get hurt anymore. I'd lived so many disappointments in my life so I wouldn't be able to take any more.
The ability of seeing behind the barriers is an another reason why I love this woman. Yeah, I, Gil Grissom, the man who's non-people person, love Catherine Willows. I was able to say it to myself. Now, I'm trying to encourage myself to knock on the door and have the most important speech in my life. I have been encouraged by the second most important person in my life to do it. I'm talking about my little butterfly, Lindsey. She told me go to after my dream and finally take a chance with her mother. She also told me that she's been waiting for this moment since she was seven years old and wished for me to become her father.
I've just said to myself that it's now or never and decided to knock on the door when the office door suddenly opened and extremely surprised Catehrine Willows has been standing here and looking up at me.
"Gil, what are you doing here? Can I help you somehow?" I heard the words coming out of the sensual Catherine's lips.
"Yeah, I need to talk with you, Cat. Do you have a moment now?" I asked.
"Of course, I have a time. You know that for you every time you need me. I've just headed for coffee but that can wait for another few minutes," Cath told him without hesitation.
When we walked back into her office and set ourselves on the free seats, Cath on the chair behind her desk and I seated myself on her desk.
"Cath, I made a decision which is going to change my life and possibly yours. I'm going to announce it at the end of the shift but you'll be the first one who'll hear it."
"Gil, what's going on? You sound so seriously. I don't like the tone of your voice," she said visibly shaken.
"Cat, calm down and let me talk. I know very well you'll hear some thing which will disturb you but don't interrupt me, please. I decided to leave. I know you want say that it's a harsh decision but I really thought it over and nothing is going to change it. One chapter of my life is going to end but it means I can start another one. The new chapter which will bring happiness and love into my lonely life. The last drop which led me to this solution, was Warrick's death. I'm leaving the lab but I am not going to leave the city. I'm starting teaching at the university of Las Vegas next month," I told her and stop speaking for a few moments.
"Warrick's death also showed me how short life is and that I need to start act on my feelings. Stop bottling the feelings I have and start showing them to the people for who I have them. I've spent two empty years in a relationship where I've been trying to find a happiness even though I knew that it's not possible with the woman who was next to me. I couldn't tell her that I love her 'cause my heart belonged, belongs and will always belong to only woman I am in love with. My heart belongs to you, Catherine Willows. It took my more than twenty years to say these three little words. I love you. But I finally said them and I'm now asking if you're going to help me to start the newest chapter of my life. Will you stand next to me for the rest of my life, Catherine?" I finished the speech with the most important question of the day.
When I finally look up into the Cath's face and saw the tears streaming down her face, I thought I made a mistake but suddenly I heard the words which let my dream come true.
"Of course, you silly, I'm going to stand next to you for the rest of our lives and hold your hand like you held mine during the worst moments of my life. And the reason why I'm prepared to do this, is that I love you from the moment I set my eyes on you, Gil Grissom," Catherine told me.
And finally, I could kiss the luscious lips of Catherine Willows for which I longed for so many years in my dreams.