Better Together
Disclaimer: One again, not mine.
All typos are mine and mine alone.
Summary: Basically, yet another spin on what should have happened at the end of The Four Percent Solution. This can stand alone on its own, but I do make one brief reference to "Perfectly Imperfect." There are four chapters total to this one.
I blink a few times as I try to become aware of my surroundings. Something isn't quite right and I feel like I've been hit by a semi- truck. My entire body aches and slowly I reach my left hand out, trying to reach for something - anything that can give me a clue. When I reach out, I come into contact with the cool metal rail of the hospital bed.
Slowly, last night's events come back to me. I was in a car accident and my car was totaled. That much I can remember, but the rest is still a bit fuzzy.
Actually, I must have hit my head pretty hard during the accident because I think I had a hallucination that Harm was here last night. I close my eyes and replay the hallucination in my mind.
"I've been pushing you away," I said.
"Yeah, you have," he replied, his emotions even and in check.
I sigh, thinking about all the pain I caused him. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," he whispers. "You had to, uh, figure some things out. I understand."
How can the man be so understanding? After everything I put him through? And I'm not just talking about how I handled my diagnosis…this goes back to Webb and Paraguay, too.
Then he surprised me by leaning closer to me and taking my hand in his. "Look, Mac," he begins as he traces his thumb over my hand. "Nothing's changed. I'm still here. Let's just enjoy the good news – be happy. You're alive," he said with so much emotion.
"You know what makes that news better? We both are."
And then I saw it…a glimmer of hope in his eyes, as I squeezed his hand.
But it was only a hallucination…or a dream or whatever you want to call it. I've pushed him away so many times recently; I'm sure he's moved on.
By now there is dull ache throbbing through my forehead, I keep my eyes closed, and I go to pick up my right hand up so I can rub it away.
My hand is heavy, and I can't seem to move it. I gasp – what exactly were my injuries again?
When I work up enough courage to open my eyes, I see Harm's blue-green eyes staring back at me. "Are you okay, Mac? What's wrong? Should I get a doctor? Are you in pain?" He keeps rattling off questions before I have a chance to answer any of them.
I realize he is holding my hand, that's why I couldn't move it.
How did I not realize he was here before?
"No," I finally manage to speak, my voice hoarse. "I'm okay; I just, uh, didn't realize you were here."
"Hey," he says softly. "I told you last night that nothing changed. I'm still here and I promised you I was staying here all night with you."
"Wait…you were really here last night?"
"Of course I was. Mac, are you sure you are alright? You're scaring me."
"I'm okay. I just thought I dreamt that conversation or something. I've been so distant with you lately that I didn't think it possibly could have happened."
He's quiet for a moment, and I can pick up all the cues. I know that he is gathering his thoughts. "We have a lot to talk about, and we will," he assures me. "But right now, just focus on resting. You'll probably be released in a couple hours and we talk then. Okay?"
"Okay," I agree as I close my eyes and find comfort in the lazy circular patterns is thumb is tracing over my hand before I fall asleep.
I wake up at 0823 to a doctor entering my room. It's the same doctor from last night. He tells me that he's going to do a quick examination, and if everything is good, he'll release me at 0900.
Harm takes that as his cue to step out for a few minutes.
The doctor gave me the okay to be released, and Harm is back in my room at 0843 carrying a bouquet of roses and a gift box wrapped in holiday wrapping paper.
I raise an eyebrow, which proves to be painful because of the bruises, so I end up wincing before I speak. "Where'd you manage to find all that in a hospital on Christmas morning?"
"Actually," he's sheepish at first. "I bought the flowers on my lunch break yesterday and I had your gift for a long time. I was planning on bringing them to you after the trip to the Wall, and I figured maybe we could spend Christmas Eve together. But, since you had to go and smash your car last night," he attempts to lighten the mood, "It looks like you're going to be stuck with me today instead."
He places the roses on the table and I admire their beauty. They held up very well over night, probably because it was so cold. Then, he hands me the gift box.
"I didn't have time to go back to your place and grab you a change of clothes, so I thought maybe you'd want to open this now instead of later."
Intrigued, I open the box. "I love them!" I exclaim as I pull out the pair of fleece Christmas pajamas from the box. They are Marine green in color with little Christmas trees and reindeer on them.
He seems so relieved. "Now, I know they aren't exactly like the cowboy pair I caught you in a few years ago, but still. They were just as cute and they made me think of you as soon as I saw them."
Harm thinks my pajamas are cute? He thinks of me when he sees pajamas? I'm giddy inside! I feel like a teenager girl who has her first crush or something. "Help me up, Sailor, so I can go change," grateful that it is a button down top and I shouldn't need any assistance getting into it.
"Yes, ma'am," he obliges while carefully taking my hands in his and gently lifting me up. "Are you okay?"
I feel like that's the hundredth time he asked me this morning. "I'm okay," I assure him as I slowly make way to the bathroom to change.
Once I get in the bathroom, I remember that this damn hospital gown ties in the back at the neck and I can't lift my arms enough to untie it without causing excruciating pain. "Uh, Harm?" I call out.
"What is it, Mac?" He asks without even missing a beat.
"I need some help…"
"Is it okay to open the door?"
"Yeah, yeah."
Slowly, timidly, he opens the door. "What's wrong?"
"I can't reach to untie the strings behind my neck. It hurts too much."
He seems relived that it isn't anything serious. "I can certainly help with that."
He loosens the tie and his fingers feel so nice against my skin. I sigh contently before I can stop it. I know he heard and he makes no effort to pull away quickly. Instead, he uses both his hands to massage the tense muscles near my neck.
"Does this hurt?"
"No," I moan, happily. "It's great." I know that must have done wonders for his ego right about now. I can sense his smile without even seeing it. We stood there for two minutes and thirty six seconds before he stopped. "Oh, does it have to end?" I ask, I try to pass it off as a teasing tone, but I am truly disappointed with the lack of contact.
"I see more of those in your future, Mac," he tosses over his shoulder before he leaves the bathroom so I can finish changing.
TBC