Title: Look At What I've Done
Rating: T for language
Summary: Randy......kitchen.......take a guess.
Warnings: none unless stupidity counts.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no harm is meant.
Beta: None, all mistakes are mine.
A/N: Just a little fun for Mr. Cena's birthday. I apologize for the holidays if you don't celebrate them.
Happy 33rd birthday, John!!!!!!
The fourth of July fire, the Thanksgiving burnt turkey or maybe the Christmas fiasco. Take your pick but it really didn't matter since one or maybe all these incidents should have kept Randy Orton from going anywhere near a kitchen. Lord knows John sure as hell had tried.
Alas, it seemed Randy would not be deterred and here he was, at it again. Trying to cook or maybe it was called burning down the house in his book.
He cursed under his breath for what seemed like the up-tenth time that night. How he managed to over boil the pot for the third time he didn't have a clue.
Perhaps he should lower the temperature.
After cleaning the stove top off again, he place a fresh pot of water on the burner and turned the knob to medium. Hopefully this time he'd catch it before disaster number four. Randy then turned his attention to the hamburger meat, which he fortunately had remembered to thaw, as he thought of the occasion.
April 23 was today's date and while yes it was a certain champ's birthday, it was also their anniversary. Five long ass years putting up with whatever bullshit life threw their way. Work being the biggest strain of all though they'd been lucky enough to stay on the same show. The travel, the stress and sometimes even annoying co-workers getting the best of them but somehow they'd made it work. Difficulties be damned.
The meat was seasoned and place over, you guessed it, medium heat before he checked the water. It was only just beginning to bubble, small ones breaking the surface so he figured he had a little extra time. Now came the cake.
Oh sure, he could have gone and ordered a cake from the bakery but he really did want it to be special. Geez, he was turning into a sap, tonight's plans being a perfect example. Good thing no one was here to witness cause he'd lie right through his teeth if accused.
His trademark smirk covered his face as he removed the contents from the box. No he didn't have his grandma's recipe but Mrs. Crocker's would work just fine this time. Water, oil and the yellow cake mix were all added to the mixing bowl. Last would come the eggs since they weren't exactly known for cooperating with him. Past experiences had taught him to crack them in a separate bowl then add them to the mixture.
Grunting, he removed shell from the first cracked egg while the second one caused him to growl when it smashed completely on the counter. Once three whole eggs joined the party, Randy turned on the mixer, coughing when some of the powder flew up at him. The pan was filled and then shoved into a 350 degree oven. In theory, about 20 or 30 minutes from now he should have a perfect circle of a cake.
We'll see.
Salt and spaghetti noodles were then added to the boiling water and the meat received a few good tosses. He set the table using the good china, gifts from both their moms, but the candles remained unlit for now. After making sure the wine was chilling he grabbed himself a beer and glared at the stove top and oven. Possibly if he could intimidate them, nothing would burn or explode. Otherwise he could always practice his punting.
Temper temper, his lover's voice sounded in his head. About another 45 minutes and he'd hear that voice for real, hopefully congratulating him. Grey blue eyes soften, a small grin forming as he took a trip down memory lane.
Though John may have been older he still managed to act like a child for the most part. Pulling pranks and telling jokes every chance he could, his endless amount of energy never failing to amaze those around him. It probably didn't help that Cody and Evan were coaxing and helping out now a days.
Despite all that, John was still the voice of reason, a damn good friend with a strong shoulder when needed and one of the few people who could calm Randy down. A small blessing to those who put up with them.
Believe it or not, Randy had matured over the years. He wasn't as hot headed or quick to anger but he could still wreak havoc when he snapped, hence the nickname. Trusting John however, helped break down some of his defenses when it came to sharing his heart. The older man encouraged him to open up a little more or at least let the likes of Cody, Ted and Evan into their inner circle. He'd never admit it but loving John had changed him for the better and he would put up one hell of a fight to keep him.
A crackle and pop brought Randy back to the present. The grease from the hamburger meat was making a mess all over the place.
His lips curled into a snarl when he tried to turn over the meat, some of it was starting to stick to the pan. A little bit of elbow grease later, he left it to finish cooking but wiped down the stove top and counter. The noodles need a little bit more time but he still fired up one of the back burners for the sauce. Yes, store bought, but at least he was trying.
Sauce added and cake checked, he stepped back to admire his work. Chuckling to himself, he figured it was smooth sailing from here on out and it was only twenty minutes till the birthday boy was scheduled to arrive back home. The spaghetti would be ready in about ten and the cake would be pulled hopefully as the front door opened. John enjoyed icing cakes, while eating half of it out of the container.
In all honesty though, Randy should have known better. Really.
Priceless theme music filled the quiet kitchen signaling one of his boys was calling. He growled as he reached for his cell. He'd told them not to disturb him unless there was a death or there would be one.
He frowned then flinched, pulling the phone away from his ear as Cody's whine carried through the speaker. Another lover's spat between him and Ted.
Damn it, he still couldn't figure out how he became referee between the two of them.
Randy sighed heavily taking a seat at the kitchen island, momentarily forgetting about the food as he listened to the latest argument. Nonsense, no doubt.
The smell of burnt hamburger and popping noises broke through the pounding at his temples and Cody heard a muttered shit before the line went completely dead. As fate would have it Randy couldn't make a simple dinner to save his life.
The stove top was flooded with watery red sauce, the noodles having overflowed, the sauce bubbling and popping away in its pot.
Hisses and curses escaped him when he reached to turn off the burners. The grease from the meat was doing a little dance of its own. Needless to say, it was now all stuck to the bottom of the pan.
As His temper started to gain heat, the cabinets received a few kicks before he bolted to the oven, remembering the cake. Yanking the door open he reached in and of course burned the shit out of his right hand.
Shit, fuck, damn and everything else in the book filled the air as he sucked on his fingers and tried again to retrieve to cake. Using the oven mitten this time.
The sound of the door opening was muffled by the viper kicking the oven, more cabinets, a chair, pretty much anything in reach.
As soon as John had entered the house he smelled the trouble, literally. Cautiously, he made his way to the kitchen where Randy was still throwing his tantrum. The older man sighed in relief, thanking whatever gods that had kept Randy's mess mostly controlled this time. A hell of a lot of scrubbing was going to be needed to clean up still and guess who would be doing the scrubbing.
"Randy." John called leaning against the door frame.
The younger man turned to face him grinning timidly.
"Why."
Randy stammered for a sec before giving up and actually pouting, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the counter.
"Aww, baby how sweet. Were you trying to make me dinner" John cooed causing his lover to growl.
"NO!, I was......I was fixing myself dinner"
"Uh huh, and the yellow cake you don't like?" he teased as he took a step into the war zone.
"The kid down the street" Randy fibbed.
"If your talking about Trudy, you actually threaten to choke slam her last time we were home. Why would you be baking her a cake?"
John was now standing in front of his lover, his own trademark smile in place with crossed arms as he waited on Randy's answer.
"Fuck you" Randy deadpanned before smirking.
John just pulled Randy into him kissing the smirk right off his face.
"So I'll order some pizza then" Randy murmured against John's kiss swollen lips.
"Yep, then presents" Sighed John as he wrapped his hands around the taller man's neck with Randy's settling on his hips.
"Nope, your too old for presents" Randy retorted earning him a slap to the back of his head.
"Jackass"
"Yet you still love me"
Their hold on each other tightened as they kissed again. This time much slower, getting reacquainted with each others taste.
When the need for air became too much, Randy rested his forehead against John's.
"Happy birthday, old man"
"Happy anniversary, baby"
A/N2: This was only going to be an anniversary fic but then a friend reminded me that John's birthday was coming up so I combined the two days, in case you were wondering.