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Operation: D.A.T.E.-T.W.O.
Dastardly Antagonist Tries Exterminating Terrific Wooing Opportunity
Writer Operative: Numbuh Infinity
Disclaimer: Mr. Warburton, Curious Pictures; it's their baby, baby.
Author's Note (as of June-18-2007): Be aware this was written and finished around Season Three or so (August-September 2004), so you may see some things that contradict canon. I also tried to fix some remaining typoes as I'm uploading this to new fanfiction sites. Hopefully the formatting is retained, too.
Summary: Nigel and his girlfriend finally go on a real date and try to enjoy to it, but their night is made difficult when a single annoyance continously tries to destroy their perfect evening! Question is, who and why? Nigel/Lizzie.
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It was yet another ordinary day at Sector V's Treehouse Headquarters. There had been no reports of adult attacks terrorizing kid-kind. While that may usually be to the dismay of Nigel Uno, who would love a good mission, this time it wasn't. This night, things were going to be different. He was going to make a decision. He was going to make a difficult decision. He was going to make a difficult decision that he was very willing to do.
He was going... to make a phone call.
----------
Later, Numbuh One walked down into the living room section of the Treehouse. He found the other operatives, who weren't doing much of anything on this ordinary day that won't be so ordinary for their leader. Kuki Sanban sat cross-legged on the floor with her Rainbow Monkey dolls along with her fellow operative Wallabee Beetles. He actually didn't want to play, but unfortunately the girl kept on begging and begging and eventually gave him the big puppy-dog eyes. He finally accepted, giving the others the excuse, "There's nothing else to do anyway," when they started snickering about him playing with the very things he hated most. But when Kuki played the tape containing the Rainbow Monkey theme song, he quickly wished he had flat-out refused.
Meanwhile Hoagie P. Gilligan, Jr. and Abby Lincoln watched the big-screen television above, boredly commenting on the actions of the characters on-screen.
"Ahem," Nigel tried to get their attention.
"Come on, those were great lines!" said the googled-headed boy to the red-hatted girl.
" 'Count your lucky stars; oh wait it's daytime'? Come on!" she criticized.
"AHEM!"
"C'mon, Secret Crush Rainbow Monkey, give Numbuh Four a hug, you know you wanna!" cooed Kuki, shoving the overstuffed colorful ape into the face of the growling, evasive Wally.
"A-HEM!"
The startled teammates finally turned to their leader.
"Thank you. Now then, team. I have something I must inform you of."
Kuki hopped up and down excitedly. "You're taking us shopping for our own, personalized Rainbow Monkey dolls an' accessories?"
"You're taking us to see live rasslin'?" asked Wally enthusiastically.
"Yer takin' Numbuh Two to someone who knows how to write good dialouge?" asked Abby with a smirk.
"You're... hey!" Hoagie frowned at her but then broke out a smirk himself. "I'm guessing you're taking Numbuh Five to some beauty parlor. Every time I tell a joke she gets an ugly mug!"
"Oh, it's on now!" She charged at the laughing mechanic reaching to do some kind of harm to him, but Nigel managed to step in between them before things could get a little too roughhousey for his taste.
Turning to Numbuhs Five, Two, Four and lastly Three, he shouted, "No! No! No! And no!"
"Awwwww..." The operatives sunk back into their seats and went back to what they were doing.
A frustrated Nigel shook his clenching fists. "There's more to it than that!" When he gained their attention again he calmed, fiddling with his sunglasses. "I am going to take Lizzie out on a date."
"So what else is new?" mumbled Wally.
"Let me guess, you saw the Delightful Children doing 'something peculiar' at some restaurant and you want an excuse to go there without raising suspicion?" asked Abby. No one could see it when she lowered her visor but she rolled her eyes. Numbuh One was always so mission-headed, even on days when he should just rest and relax.
"No. I'm going to take Lizzie on a date, and it WON'T be mission-based. Yes, I, Nigel Uno, am going to take Lizzie Devine on a real date, and I want nothing to do with the Kids Next Door tonight."
A long pause.
"You really serious this time? I bet Lizzie got you with that Boyfriend Helmet again!"
"No! I mean, yes! I mean, no she didn't use the helmet again, and yes, I'm serious. She didn't believe me at first, either, but I managed to convince her." Indeed he did. In fact, it didn't take long to convince her at all when he called her. Despite a skeptical-sounding "Reeeeally?" she instantly and excitedly accepted after he repeated that it was for real. The 'hard part' wasn't so hard after all.
"So," Wally crossed his arms, "you want to go on a real date with Kissy-Lizzie, huh? No missions or nothin'?"
"That's right. In fact, I'm going to pick Lizzie up right now. I'll return later this evening. Until then, Numbuh Five, you're in charge," he commanded as he headed out the door. "Are you, as you might say, down with that?"
His second-in-command teammate smiled from under her cap. "Sure, boss, but using Numbuh Five's words don't sound right from ya."
Numbuh One smiled back and left on his date with the twin-braided redhead. As soon as he disappeared the operatives besides Numbuh Three laid back and sighed. "Great," grumbled Numbuh Four. "Numbuh One gets to go with his little girlfriend while we stay here doing... nothing. Besides being bored. We should have some fun, too!"
"I'm having fun!" giggled the cheery brunette girl as she bounced a Rainbow Monkey doll on her lap.
"ARGH!" The impatient, frustrated Aussie jumped to his feet and paced around, slamming a fist into a palm. "This stinks. We've got to do somethin' instead of just sitting here doin' nothing but being bored, sighing, and watching Numbuh Three play with her stupid Rainbow Monkeys!"
"Can't we just watch TV?" Hoagie suggested.
"We already did that minutes ago, we have to try something else!"
"Well, do you got any bright ideas, shorty?" said Abby.
Growling at the word 'shorty,' he turned to Abby and pointed at her, saying, "I'm thinking maybe rearranging your lips."
Abby lifted up her cap so her glare could meet his. "Numbuh Five thinks she'd like ta see you try," she said in a no-nonsense tone.
"Ehh, maybe some other time," said Wally quickly, shrugging. "So the serious, all-work no-play guy gets to have fun, huh. Well, I have an idea of how we ALL can have fun and not just sit around here waiting for somethin' to happen." They all looked at him as they asked him how.
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Nigel puffed up his chest with an air of confidence. This time he was going to do it. This time, this night, he would take his girlfriend on a real date and won't end up upsetting or angering her like that one time. He will make his sweet, albeit clingy girl happy. He even dressed in what is, in his opinion, his best attire: red sweater, black shorts, brown boots, and his favorite pair of sunglasses.
After taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. "Lizzieeee? Are you home?" No answer. 'Strange,' he thought. 'I could swear I told her I was coming.' He twisted the knob thinking it would somehow be unlocked, however unusual it would be. "Lizzie?" Then an unsettling thought occured to him. "You're not mad at me, are you?" Great, the date hadn't even begun yet and already he made her angry?
Fortunately his mind was put at ease. "No. I'll be down in justa minute, Nigie!" her voice called from her bedroom window.
'Well, that's a relief. But I wonder what is taking her so long.' He huffed and shook his head, frowning. 'Sheesh, she complains when I'm late, but when I'm on time she spends all her lovely little time doing her own little thing.'
He tapped his foot, growing slightly impatient his date. He started to smirk when he thought about what could be the answer to the long wait. 'Maybe... Maybe she's thinking about me? How handsome I look.' He smiled a broad, overly confident smile. 'My smooth, shiny bald head.' His head somehow flashed a sparkle. 'My ultra hard muscles!' He flexed his 'muscles,' or what little there were. 'Yeah! Maybe that's it!'
In his daydream, the starry-eyed Lizzie (no, really, her eyes were like stars) was cuddled up against the sly-smiling leader of Sector V. "Ooo, Nigie, you're so handsome!" she cooed as she ran her hand through his face. "And your head's so smooth 'n' shiny!" she added as she rubbed the top of his head. "And those muscles... Oh my!" she finished as she looked down at Nigel's suddenly built arms. Lizzie then closed her eyes and slowly leaned into his face...
"Gosh, I must look really good to make you smile that big!"
Nigel shook his head at the sound of the voice of an amused girlfriend. He looked down at himself and saw his macho man muscles were gone. Just a daydream. However, when he looked up and saw Lizzie behind the opened front door he grinned and wondered if he was still daydreaming. Lizzie had on a dark blue dress with a red ribbon strapped in the middle, and her twin braids are undone allowing her hair to flow freely. And we can't forget the glasses -- something about the glasses made the picture sweeter. He smiled amusedly when he read the print "I (Heart) Nigie" on the blouse.
Nigel tried to formulate something to say, anything to say, that would sweep her off her feet. "Lizzie, you look... Devine?" He grumbled. 'Yeah, real smooth, Nigel, like lame puns will win this girl.'
But Lizzie giggled and smiled at the boy. "Oh, that's so sweet. And nice play on words, too. You're like a poet, Nigie."
His mouth formed into a wrinkly, goofy smile. "Heheheheh..."
"So, where are we going?"
Nigel shook his head quickly and regained his standard composure. Thinking for a moment, he answered, "How about the Kiderific Super Secret Ice Cream Parlor? It's run entirely by kids, and even has some members of the Kids Next Door."
"Really? What flavors do they have?"
"Oh, the usual stuff. Chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, lemon-lime, cookies 'n' cream, banana, orange, chocolate chip, banana-strawberry, chocolate-lemon, strawberry-orange, banana-lime, vanilla-blueberry..." He went on with even more unique flavors as he started to lead her to the secret kids' ice cream place.
"Ooo, that sounds good! Can I get the banana-lemon-lime-odd-mix-delight sundae with cherries on top?"
"Sure thing. Let's go."
So off they went. Nigel smiled proudly. So far, so good. Their date was starting smoothly, and it would only get better as the evening carried on. Everything was going as he wanted. Nothing could go wrong.
Halfway to the place of ice creamy goods, however, neither of them knew that they were being watched...
----------
Lizzie was impressed. It looked just like any other ice cream parlor except she could see bits of it designed from 2x4 Technology. There were also no sign of adults or even teenagers. Just children, children, and more children. She even saw some kids in weird uniforms and helmets -- presumely Kids Next Door operatives.
Lizzie and Nigel bought their goodies and sat at a round table to themselves. Lizzie blissfully slurped her ice cream while Nigel slowly ate his.
"Mmm! This is the GREATEST ice cream parlor I've ever been to! I'm so glad we're on a real date for a change."
Nigel paused and smiled at her. "Well, it's the least I could do. I've been wanting to do this for some time, anyway. To make up for the times my missions got in the way of our time together and all."
"Well, I think I'm beginnin' to understand how much you love the Kids Next Door and how you're needed and how important it is an' stuff," said the redhead girl, smiling a bit. "Well, okay, not completely. But I'm trying now."
"That's good to know. Still, I'm not a Kid Next Door tonight. I'm just a guy going out with his girlfriend." He paused to take a few slurps from his vanilla ice cream. Lizzie tried to suppress her giggles when he gained a brand new 'cream 'stache. "On that note, did you want to see a movie after we're done here?"
"Oh, do I ever! I'd like to see..."
As the two conversed, a person in a dark costume and mask walked up to the counter and jumped over it, landing right next to the kid who filled in ice cream cones. He just looked at the newcomer confusedly.
"Um, may I help you?"
"Yes. I would like to borrow that for a minute."
The stranger suddenly knocked the boy away and snatched the ice cream filler nozzle. He jumped on the counter and aimed it at the nearby table being seated by a boy with sunglasses and a glasses-wearing redheaded, normally twin-braided girl with undone hair.
Nigel, who had heard the commotion, looked over and saw a strangely-dressed individual aiming the device directly at him and Lizzie. "Hey! What's going on?"
"You like to ruin me and my fun. See how you like it, you stupid lovebirds!" The costumed one sprayed the freezing flavored cream in full blast, all over Lizzie and Nigel, and the stranger laughed derisively while other people giggled at the scene.
"Oh, my dress! It's covered all over in ice cream!" Lizzie exclaimed. She dipped her finger into the sweet contents and tasted some. "Mmmm... fudge-swirl!"
Nigel tasted a bit of his own from his now messy shirt. "Yes. The strawberry-banana is quite tasty. Uh, I mean, I have to stop that kid! Any Kids Next Door here, stop that... person! He's ruining everything!"
One operative looked at him confusedly. "But we're Kids Next Door, and that guy or girl or whatever is a kid, so why--"
"Just fire!"
They began firing their laser guns at the strange stranger but he moved away and retreated from the shop, laughing and pointing at his two victims. The attacking ops simply shrugged and went back to what they were previously doing, as if nothing happened.
"What was he laughing about?" Lizzie asked, glaring at where the kid disappeared to as she plucked a bit of ice cream that landed on her head.
"What's so odd about two kids on a date? Oh well, he's probably just the type that thinks girls are icky," said Nigel, wiping some more ice cream off his smooth head. "So where can we go to get this stuff off us?"
The ice cream filler boy emerged dazily from the counter. "You can try over there." He pointed at a corner, which contained two doors. Above them was a sign reading: 'Cleanification Chambers, for instant good-as-new cleaning when you have the misfortune of being completely covered in ice cream!'
"How convenient," Nigel remarked.
----------
Later that afternoon, as the sun began to set turning the blue sky into a hue of red and orange, Nigel and Lizzie -- whose clothes really were as good as new -- arrived at the theater. Nigel looked at the movie listings, then at his date. "So, what movie do you want to see?"
"Hm. I've seen the Rainbow Monkey one already."
"Me too, Numbuh Three dragged us all to see it once before."
"Hmm. Oh, I know! How about Ladybug 2? I'd really love to see her kick the butt of that Mr. Squid guy!"
Nigel looked at her, amazed. "You watch action movies, Lizzie?"
"Of course! Just 'cause I'm one of those girls that likes lovey-dovey, mushy romanticky stuff, doesn't mean I detest butt-kickin' action flicks. Besides, how many have girl heroes in them? It's inspiring!"
"All right, then." Nigel walked up to the counter, a nerdy teenaged boy sitting boredly behind it. "Two tickets for Ladybug 2, please."
The teen raised one eyebrow. "Are you old enough to see this movie?"
"Um... yes?" Nigel replied nervously.
An awkward pause fills the bald-headed agent with even more nerves. "... Okay, enjoy the show."
"Um, thanks." Nigel paid, swiped the tickets, and quickly grabbed Lizzie's hand and ran inside before the teen could get smart. He heaved a sigh of relief.
Shortly afterwards, a child in a dark costume emerged from the shadows and stepped up to the counter. "One for Ladybug 2."
The teenager gave him the same look he gave the previous two children, but this time with more suspicion. "Um, are you old enou--"
"Yes, now let me in or else."
"Or else, what?"
----------
Nigel paid for their popcorn and drinks and they happily took them. No one seemed to notice the sounds of fighting and pained yelling from outside.
The couple walked into the movie room. Since they came in early, there were still many good seats left. They decided to sit somewhere in the middle rows. Sometime later, after the previews, the movie began. It took great strength for every child, even some adults, to contain their excitement.
A moving shadow scurried from the entrance to the aisle and finally to a row of seats. Directly behind Nigel's and Lizzie's. The head of the masked kid peers over their seats just enough so that the persistent one could see them but also so that they could not see him. The stranger spied the couple sharing a bag of popcorn, every other minute or so sipping their drinks, viewing the movie before them. The kid sat back down, thinking deeply of some kind of plan to make the couple's evening more miserable.
Lizzie discovered she munched on the popcorn a little too quickly, seeing as how her lips now have some stray butter and kernel on them. So she reached her hand down to grab some napkins that she placed on the armchair, when she felt a soft obstacle obscure its path. She looked to discover her hand on Nigel's. They glanced at each other and nothing was said between them for exactly three seconds.
"Um, napkin?" the boy said, seemingly flustered as he handed her one.
"Yeah, thanks." Lizzie gratefully took it and they quickly leaned back in the seats. They let their eyes focus on the screen again, though shades of pink spread across their cheeks. Ladybug was duking it out with the sinister Mr. Squid, tearing his surroundings to pieces with his many, destructive appendages. But Lizzie found it difficult to pay attention to the action.
'We touched hands,' Lizzie thought. 'I mean, yeah, we touched hands before and all, but still. It felt... cooler than usual. I dunno. But I can't say I'm complaining. Man, this's the most romanticky date we've ever been on. Ours usually get ruined 'cause of Nigel's mission stuff or those creepy enemies of his. Oh, I can see it now!' A lovesick smile spread across her face as her imagination ran wild. 'First we hold hands through the whole evening, then we have dinner together, then we walk home, and then, and then, and then we--' "OW!"
Lizzie felt the back of her head as that's where she felt a small bit of pain. She ignored the "Shhhh!" from nearby movie-goers as she looked at Nigel's direction. He was still eyeing the movie. And his hand was suspiciously close to Lizzie's shoulder. Her eyes became a glare.
"Nigel!" she said in a hushed yet scolding whisper. "I know you like my hair and all, but you didn't hafta tug it THAT hard!"
"Huh, what? I didn't yank on your hair, Lizzie," the confused Nigel replied defensively.
"But look at your hand, it's so close to my hair."
Nigel suddenly looked nervous. "Oh, um... That's because... oh, never mind." Nigel, apparently embarrassed about something, returned his hand back to his lap. "And I didn't pull your hair." He looked back at the screen. "Maybe you were just imagining things. C'mon, let's not let this spoil this mo-- AH! Hey!"
"Shhhhh!" silenced the same movie-goers.
Nigel, too, ignored them as he felt the struck ear. He whipped to Lizzie, who had her eyes back to the screen. "Hey! You plucked my ear, that hurt!" he whispered.
"I did not!" she whirled to him, frowning at his accusation.
"Yes you did, you plucked my ear because you thought I yanked your hair!"
"Now who's imagining things?" smirked Lizzie.
"I tell you I didn't do it!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not! I didn't mess with you earlier but I know you plucked my ear because you thought I did!"
"I said I didn't do that, Nigel Uno!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did-- Wait, do you hear that?"
The two looked around them to find the source of the sound they hear. They looked at the screen. It wasn't Ladybug's (or rather, Ladybug out of costume) boyfriend becoming suspicious at her frequent disappearances. They looked down in front of them (they are on a slightly higher elevation). It wasn't the two or three kids who, overhearing their exchange, were taking bets on who would come up with the best insults. They looked to the sides. Two of the seats from either side of them were empty, so it was unlikely they would hear the close sound from further on those directions. So the only place left was behind. So the two turned around and looked over their chairs. There they saw the masked kid, face down on the floor, snickering like mad, covering his mouth to resist bursting out laughing.
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"C'mon, you heard my brother and his friends, we're going to watch another movie because they said Ladybug stunk," said a teenaged girl to her friend as they walked down the hallway.
"I don't know," said the friend. "I still say they're probably just saying that because it has a girl as the main hero. It couldn't be THAT bad."
Just then, a child wearing dark clothes came screaming and flying face-first through the entrance of the Ladybug room, right into the trashcan. The teenagers simply blinked at this scene.
"I stand corrected."
----------
Later, the watchers of Ladybug, including Nigel and Lizzie, began exiting the theater. Despite one setback they seemed no less than satisfied. The sky was now a shade of night blue filled with stars and a bright, crescent moon.
"That was awesome!" said Lizzie excitedly. "It was even better than the first one, so much more funny, actiony, and dramatic... ky. And Ladybug was like POW, BASH, SMACK!" she shouted, mimicking her heroine's moves.
"Yes, I must admit I quite enjoyed myself," Nigel agreed. "But it would have been a lot better if it wasn't spoiled a little by that nuisance."
"Oh yeah," Lizzie replied, frowning. "That's twice that kid bugged us. It's not one of your stupid villian people, is it?"
"No, not anyone I know of. Though I am starting to get this suspicion of his or her identity."
"Oh yeah? Who?"
Nigel sighed. "Possibly one of my teammates."
"What, why them?"
"Well, before I left they were rather bored. Numbuh Four especially. And then I told them I was going to go on a date with you. So I'm having a good time while they're sitting in the Treehouse guarding it, at the same time suffering from their boredom. I'm sure they aren't pleased with that."
"So you think one of your friends is ruining our date on purpose?"
"Yes. Possibly to cure their boredom and/or to get back at me for doing that to them. But then, this is only theorizing, I could be wrong. And hopefully I am, or there is going to be something bad to pay when we get home..."
"Maybe. I mean, they DID ruin one of our dates before!" muttered the girl, placing her hands on her hips with a frown.
"That's because you had me mind-controlled with that Boyfriend Helmet..."
"Oh." Lizzie said simply, smiling sheepishly.
"Well, anyway. Where to now, Lizzie?"
"Hm. How about..."
"In the ground!"
"In the ground. Not exactly what I was thinking, Nigel."
Nigel whirled around and faced the masked stranger at the doorway entrance, his or her clothes wrinkled and dirty, and a banana peel was resting on the shoulder. The angry child flicked the peel away as he pointed a small laser gun menacingly at the couple.
"I'll bury the both of you underground! I tire of that girl and I tire of you, Nigel Uno - Numbuh One! Especially with the way you always ruin my days! So I'll spoil your fun and laugh and laugh, and laugh some more! Haha. Ha ha ha. Hahahahaha!"
"Aw, perfect," Nigel grumbled as he backed away until he was barely making contact in front of Lizzie. "Lizzie, grab hold of me."
"Hehe, no problem, Nigie!" she giggled as she wrapped her arms around Nigel and squeezed him into an embrace. "You sure pick the weirdest times to be romantic," she smiled.
"Just hang on," her sighing boyfriend said as he pressed a hidden button in his boots, igniting the jets within. He blasted off with the surprised Lizzie clutching him even tighter.
"You're not getting away easily!"
The stranger reached to his back and fiddled with something and a second later a small jetpack with mechanical wings appeared and he, too, took off.
"Whooooooooaaaahhh! I dreamt of us flying but not exactly like this!" Lizzie remarked, holding tightly onto Nigel for dear life for fear she might fall and not make a very nice landing. When she didn't receive a reply, she cocked her head to the side. Nigel's brows were furrowed, and though his sunglasses shielded them she could tell his eyes were looking most displeased. "What's the matter?"
"I am now convinced that that kid is one of my teammates! He knew both my real name and my codename, and the way he spoke of me ruining his days... No doubt I sometimes spoil my friends' fun, when I have them work or go on missions despite protests. And, sorry to say, but they are annoyed by you sometimes, too. One of them must be trying to get back at us, mostly me. I doubt it's Numbuh Two, because that kid is skinny while Two is... uh, not as much so. So it must be Numbuh Four."
"Why a 'he'? It could be one of those girls disguising her voice! Heh, I bet she's trying to mess up our date because she's sooooo jealous!" said Lizzie rather smugly.
"I'm not sure Numbuhs Three or Five like-like me that way. Though Numbuh Five may have other reasons to want to destroy our evening. But Numbuh Three? No way, it couldn't possibly be her. I mean... she's Numbuh Three!"
"Yeah... She doesn't seem so bad. So maybe it is that little short twerp!"
Lizzie said that last part a little too loudly, because the masked child, who flew up from behind, suddenly shouted, "Short twerp, huh? Well, let's see what pride you'd have left after this 'short twerp' shoots you out of the sky!"
The nuisance produced the ray gun again and fired multi-colored rays of light at his targets. Nigel dodged each shot frantically.
Lizzie, on the other hand, was enjoying the sight, or at least she's trying to. "Hey! Don't move so fast, Nigel, those lights are pretty!"
"Lizzie, those are lasers."
"Yeah, and?"
"And they hurt."
"So? You fight bad guys with lasers all the time and you turn out fine. What's a teensy sting gonna do to me or you?"
"Okay. Think about getting a cut, and how your parents or the school nurse would rub alcohol on it."
As soon as Nigel said that, Lizzie's eyes widened in horror.
"Well, what are you standing, er, flying there for, dummy? DODGE THOSE LASERS!"
Nigel didn't need to be told twice. One laser shot managed to whiz right by his finger and the stinging effect made him dip his finger into his mouth as he manuevered around the other shots.
"Dodge, dodge, DODGE!"
"I'm dodging, I'm dodging!"
"Hold still!" the pursuer demanded.
Lizzie looked at her boyfriend curiously. "Nigel, why do bad guys tell good guys to hold still when they know the good guys won't do that?"
Nigel didn't have an answer to that, and didn't spend too much time thinking on it when he saw the Hap-Happy Land amusement park closing in on them. He smirked when he suddenly got an idea that was just crazy enough to work.
"Lizzie, whatever you do, don't lose your lunch on me!"
"What do you me-EEEEAAAN!" she screamed as Nigel suddenly dive-bombed until he was just several feet above ground, and then zoomed past the startled crowd.
The pursuer pursued in the same elevation and velocity. But suddenly his target snapped to the left. The masked child almost zipped past them before he whirled left as well. Then Nigel jetted upwards, and the stranger blasted in the same direction. The frantic chase continued in this manner, with random sudden changes of direction and movements, making rings around the Merry-Go-Round, flying alongside the Roller Coaster, and generally all kinds of things that were a huge pain to the one chasing the escaping couple.
"This is kinda fun!" shouted a gleeful Lizzie, outstretching one arm like a bird. But it drooped when she saw what they were heading towards. "Hey Nigel... We're about to hit that Ferris Wheel!"
"Just wait for it," said Nigel, a little too calmly for Lizzie's comfort.
The Ferris Wheel came closer to them...
"Wait for it..."
...and closer...
"Wait for it..."
...and even closer. Lizzie began biting her nails nervously.
"Just a bit more..."
...and now it was getting much too close. Lizzie screamed her head off and closed her eyes. But at the last split second, Nigel blasted upward, right over a Ferris Wheel cart.
"What the..." The stunned disguised kid tried to move out of the way, but due to being caught off-guard he wasn't able to avoid the Wheel in time. One of the jet wings crashed into one of the carts and the jetpack itself suffered damage. With no balance and the pack gradually failing him, the child went tumbling in random directions, smoke trailing behind him until he finally crash-landed on the ground.
Nigel and Lizzie turned their heads in time to see the misfortune of their pursuer and pumped their fists.
"Oh, yes!"
They turned their heads back to the front. Only to see a Yipper billboard heading straight their way. Too fast. With no way to avoid the large board in time. Their faces fell heavily.
"Oh, no."
CRASH!
----------
"I should learn to always keep my eyes on the road," Nigel groaned.
He and Lizzie were sitting on a bench holding ice packs on their heads with one hand and rubbing their sore spots with the other hand, and had dirt and scratch marks in several places.
"Well, at least we got away from him or her, or whatever," Lizzie reassured him. "Sure, we got some boo-boos too, but they can't be any worse than the ones that kid must have, right?"
"Yeah," Nigel agreed. "Our 'boo-boos' aren't that bad, I think we can still walk. Might as well rid of these ice packs, and not let this spoil the rest of the evening. I won't allow it to be ruined now."
"All right, Nigel," said Lizzie as she and Nigel threw away the aforementioned items. "So," she smiled, "we're in Hap-Happy Land. Let's go on some rides or something before that kid comes back."
"Okay," Nigel said, smiling. "Hey, how about the Funhouse!" he said as he pointed to it.
"Good idea, let's go!"
So they went inside. It wasn't long before they started having fun again, giggling at all the different shapes and sizes their mirror images projected. From stickly thin, to blobbery large, to giraffish tall, to shrimpy short, and even odder images that would make one think they were looking at abstract paintings. Nigel flexed his muscles and showed off when he spied himself looking massive in the upper body area, while Lizzie tried to reach the ceiling when she saw one image that made her look taller than even the mirror itself. They were having so much fun they nearly forgot about their misfortunes through the evening. And they became especially interested when they paired up again and saw their reflection looking exactly like the kid who had been chasing them...
Wait a minute...
"Now I have you!" threatened the masked child.
"Man, don't you ever give up? Eeep!" screamed Lizzie as she jumped out of the way from the kid's flying kick.
"Come on!" Nigel pulled Lizzie's hand and wasted no time fleeing.
"Stop running away! This is a Funhouse and your getting away from me isn't fun!"
The chaser chased the escaping escapees through the twisty turns of the fallicious funhouse. For some reason the exit seemed a longer ways than before. But after running a while, Nigel stopped abruptly and Lizzie, being dragged by his hand, bumped into him. When she looked at him, his brows and mouth were furrowed just like before. Except this time he looked particularly unhappy.
"Why'd you stop?" she asked.
"Because I just made a sudden realization. This is our date."
"Well, duh, of course."
"I mean, this is our evening, an evening that we were supposed to enjoy with just the two of us. I set our date not for mission purposes but so I can just have a real date with my girlfriend. Just this once. But ohhhhh NO! Someone just HAD to come along and mess everything up! Well, let me tell you something. I won't stand for that! I don't care if that kid turns out to be Numbuh Four or Five or whoever! They are NOT getting away with ruining our date! I'm going to end this and unmask that kid and get some answers from him! Even if I have to do it the hard way."
Lizzie Devine stared at Nigel Uno, her eyes round and wide in a mix of impressiveness, proudness, and lovesickness. Her "Wow..." could only reach the level of a whisper. It didn't stop her from hugging him a little too tightly, however. "That was so beautiful, Nigie! It woulda sounded cooler if you were standing on a podium and we had a flag flapping in the background with dramatic music playing!"
"Well, it was short notice," Nigel replied.
Soon enough, the individual in a dark costume showed up. When he saw the two of them in their position he just crossed his arms.
"Bah. So typical."
The moment he spotted him, Nigel broke from Lizzie's embrace and glared.
"I don't care who you are, even if you turn out to be someone that I really hope you aren't. You're going down for destroying our entire evening."
"Heh. Really? I guess that's enough for me. Looks like my job is done."
"But mine isn't."
Immediately after those words Nigel tackled the kid and they tumbled and rolled around the floor, shouting fighting words at each other. Somehow they happened to roll over to the exit, bringing them and a following Lizzie back outside. Nearby passerbys looked at the scene curiously and interestedly, if not with some amusement. Some kids, the same kids from the theater, took bets to see who would win.
Lizzie put a finger to her lower lip contemplatively. There had to be something she could do. She looked around for something, anything, that could save her precious Nigie. She found a large trash can and rummaged through it. Balled-up paper, banana peels, empty plastic cups, abandoned old jump rope, more paper, opened boxes...
"Abandoned old jump rope!" she exclaimed excitedly as she grabbed her prize. Just as she did that, Nigel and the kid stopped struggling on the ground and broke away. They were out of breath and tiring. They locked each other in a staredown. Lizzie took this time to get a distance behind the masked person, long jump rope in hand.
"I am through playing around, Numbuh One!" shouted the kid. "I've already ruined your date, so what's the use now?"
"Just seeking some payback is all," Nigel replied calmly. "You appeared to be doing the same."
"Yes. And the pay was quite nice. Seeing your little argument in the theater and your expressions every time I appeared was priceless!"
'Maybe it's Numbuh Two after all...' thought Nigel.
"Anyway. After I have defeated you and left you too weak to do much of anything else, I will be on my way while you two throw a hissy fit that your precious date was spoiled thanks to me."
Nigel did not make any negative expression, however. He was still looking unusually calm. In fact, he smirked. The costumed child thought this was quite odd but heed it no mind.
"Well then. This ends now."
"You have no idea how right you are."
The kid cocked an eyebrow, wondering what he could be talking about. But a moment later, a colorful noose hovered overhead and before he knew it, he was bound by what appeared to be jump rope. The kid struggled to break free but the bonds only got tighter. Lizzie appeared behind him with the rest of the rope in hand, tying it around him to assure he wouldn't get away easily. The boy sunk his head, defeated.
"Thanks, Lizzie."
"No problem, Nigel. I loved playing a cowgirl when I was little," she stated proudly.
Nigel stepped up to the tied-up child, glaring down at him. "Now to unmask this annoyance. Game's over, Numbuh Four!"
"Um, Numbuh One. I'm right here."
"Well, of course you're right here, you're right in front of me."
"No, I▓m right behind you."
He turned around. Slowly. And saw the blond Australian boy standing before him.
"Numbuh Four?"
"Da one an' only."
"Wait... I mean, how... I thought... Er, ahem!" Nigel turned back to the strange kid, regaining his stern exterior. "Very well then, you must be Numbuh Five!"
"No, actually, Numbuh Five and Numbuh Two are over there."
Numbuh Four pointed to a direction, where Abby and Hoagie were helping themselves into some cotton candy. They spotted their leader and approached the group.
"Wassup, Numbuh One?" greeted Abby.
"Hey Numbuh One, Lizzie, how your date's coming along? Whoa, who's that kid you got tied up? Tried to steal your girlfriend, I bet!" joked Hoagie, playfully winking.
"Wha? I, er..." Nigel is totally confused now. "Wait... Numbuh Four? Numbuh Five? Numbuh Two? Then... that means..."
Nigel turned to the kid and he slowly reached out his hand to the mask, thinking, 'It can't be. Could it?' Finally the hand was touching the mask. And just when he was about to unveil the person behind the disguise...
"Hiiiiii Numbuh Onnnnne!"
One turned his head and saw at the distance Numbuh Three riding on the Merry-Go-Round. She was giggling and waving her hand, her long green sleeve flapping wildly in the blowing air.
Nigel was more confused than ever, but at the same time relieved. So it wasn't any of his teammates after all. There were still some questions in his mind, however.
"So, you're all here? What are you doing here? Weren't you all at the Treehouse?"
"Yes, having fun, and we were but we're not now," Wally answered all his friend▓s questions, simply.
"Yeah. Numbuh Four suggested that since there were no adult tyranny going on today, we'd all go to Hap-Happy Land and have a good ol' time," said Hoagie. "He thought we should all go out and have fun and just plain do something, instead of sitting around the Treehouse doing nothing."
"Numbuh Five has difficulty admitting this, but Numbuh Four definitely had a great idea," said Abby, chewing on her cotton candy. "We wouldn't even have thought of this if it weren't for him."
Nigel and Lizzie could only stare and blink. All this time the team was in Hap-Happy Land. And all this time, Nigel thought one of them were... Nigel laughed nervously and sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. His team looked at him confusedly.
"Eh, heh heh... Sorry, guys. I thought one of you was this kid here, trying to ruin our date. You know, to get back at me for leaving you like that?"
"Naw. We weren't mad or anything like that," said Abby. "Besides, the last time we ruined one of yer dates you beat us all around like we were training robots or something."
"Yeah, well... Wasn't like I was right in the head that time," Nigel replied. Then he paused. "So if this kid isn't any of you, then who could it be?"
He turned and unmasked the child. And everyone gasped. For the kid who ice-creamed the couple in the parlor, the child who caused them to get into an accusing argument in the theater, the person who had them in a hectic sky-chase, and the individual who chased them in the confusing Funhouse...
...was none other than the short and blond Delightful Boy.
"What, you? Why, why did you do this?" Nigel demanded.
"Spill it, shrimp, or you're fried shrimp!" Lizzie demanded.
The Delightful Child grumbled as he stood up and tried to struggle out of his bind. "Why? WHY? I'll tell you WHY! Because you two are like the destructive duo, the pandemonium pair, the terrible two--"
"Hey!" Two cut off, frowning.
"--the crrrraaaazy couple! Because when that girl is around when my siblings and I unleash our genius plan and are about to win, you and her - oh, ESPECIALLY her - bring everything into disaster! Oh, we cannot forget that 'date' incident! Because that girl splashed her coffee over the fuse box, our machines malfunctioned and exploded, destroying our rooftop, shutting off our power, and foiling our plot to Delightfulitize the guests!
"And then that one birthday, where we had children tied up in the stadium and we were about to destroy you with our Pound Cake! That GIRL of yours crashed her ship into the Pound Cake, destroying it while its remains splattered over our 'guests,' giving them all a piece of our cake! While my siblings and I got NOTHING! We had NONE of that cake, OUR cake -- how ridiculous is that?
"I wanted to get back at you two. And seeing as how you two have a rocky relationship sometimes, I logically concluded that your 'dates' aren't always the way you want them to be!"
At this point Numbuh Four yawned and Numbuhs Two and Five idly chewed on their cotton candy. The Delightful Boy meanwhile finally broke out of the jump rope.
"So each day I waited for one of you, Nigel Uno, Lizzie, to visit each other and go some place together, which then I would logically conclude you are going on a date. When I saw that happen today, I donned my disguise and decided to... ruin your date! Which, might I add, I have done successfully! Ha! You lost your opportunity to have a REAL date for a change, didn't you? Well, how does it feel to have YOUR plans totally ruined by a nuisance? Huh, huh? How does it feel?"
"Whatever," Nigel shrugged. Lizzie looked none too happy.
"Hmph. And to be quite honest, Nigel Uno... I just do not see how you can still be dating that... that... FAT COW!"
The instant he said those two words, everyone gasped and it felt like time stood still for a full five seconds. It quickly resumed when Lizzie exploded in front of him.
"Who're you calling a FAT COW!" she erupted before driving an iron fist right at the boy's belly, knocking the wind out of him.
The short blond Delightful doubled over, clenching his stomach before collapsing on his knees. "WAAAAHHHH! THAT HURRRRRT!"
Lizzie "HUMPH"'d and stormed away. "C'mon, Nigel, let's get out of here!"
Nigel stood still and blinked for a moment then followed. The rest of the gang simply looked at each other, the Delightful Child's pained groans being the only thing breaking the awkward silence. Then finally, they spoke.
"... Well anyway, I'm gonna go get Numbuh Three off the Merry-Go-Round, it's Numbuh Five's turn." And Abby walked off to do just that.
"So, what about that new episode of Yipper, Numbuh Two?" asked Wally.
"Oh yeah. I heard that Yipper was gonna face his greatest enemy yet and..."
----------
Nigel and Lizzie walked in front of Lizzie's house. Nigel led her to the front door and stopped. He sighed heavily, looking downcast.
"What's wrong?" Lizzie asked, concerned.
"Well, it's just, I had our night together planned, I wanted it to be perfect with no trouble at all. I just wanted us to have a real date for a change and to see you happy. But once again it was ruined, and I can't help but feel responsible. I can never get this date thing right. I would not blame you if you hated this night and would not speak to me for a while, if ever."
Nigel paused, waiting for her response. A moment of silence later, Lizzie gave her reaction. An unexpected one.
"Are. You. Kidding? This was the BEST NIGHT EVER!"
"... wha?" Nigel couldn't believe his ears.
"Yeah! I never knew 'bout that ice cream place 'til you showed it to me, and they have delicious ice cream! I never tasted ice cream so good! Sure, we got blasted by the stuff by that Delightful what's-his-name but it turned out okay thanks to that cleaning room. And while I really liked Ladybug 2, but I don't think I would've enjoyed it as much without you. Yeah, that whatever-Child tried to make us fight but it was funny when we threw him out! Oh, that part when you and I were flying, I really, really loved it. It was so exciting being chased by that Kid Down The Street or whatever he is! And we had such a good time in the Funhouse, it was really funny. And I personally thought your big speech made you really manly and strong... Even if you are kinda scrawny."
"Heh, thanks... I think." Nigel rubbed the back of his head. "So, you really enjoyed the date after all?"
"Well, duh, didn't you get the not-so-subtle hint?"
"Well, I'm quite relieved," Nigel said honestly, smiling. "Even though it didn't exactly went as I planned, I am happy that you enjoyed yourself."
"Yup. It was the best date ever. I hope we have more dates exactly like this one!"
Nigel's eyes suddenly grew behind his shades.
"Hee, just kidding! Well, gotta go, goodnight!"
So Lizzie opened the door to her home and ran inside, closing the door behind her, not giving Nigel a chance to reply. But then, she opened the door again.
"Oh yeah, I forgot something!"
Lizzie put her hands on Nigel's shoulders and, closing her eyes, gave him a very short but sweet kiss. She blushed and giggled as she stepped back inside. "Um, so goodnight," Lizzie waved shyly.
"... Goodnight," Nigel replied, his arms folded behind his back with his usual expression. Lizzie smiled and closed the door.
Still retaining his expression, he walked away from the front door and stopped when he was quite a distance from her house. Then, his normal demeanor turned around into a BROAD smile. He walked the rest of this way home, knowing now that he, too, thought this was his best night ever.
----------
Meanwhile, the short blond Delightful Boy was sitting on a bench in Hap-Happy Land, still rubbing his tummy with the jump rope rolled up beside him. His expression still looked pained.
"Well... At least things cannot get any worse," he sighed.
Just then...
"My jump rope, my jump rope, my jump rope! You found it!"
The boy lifted his head up to see who spoke. His face paled and his eyes widened in fear. It was Laura Limpin... aka the Big Badolescent. She took the jump rope and expressed her gratitude.
"I was sooo wondering where that was at! I must have dropped it when I got really mad at the Roller Coaster line being so darn long. Weird how right after that everyone ran away screaming and I found myself in front of the line. It's kind of a blur. But this is sooo great! Thank you so much for finding it for me..."
Laura's mouth wrinkled with sudden infatuation. She blinked at him flirtatiously with puppy dog eyes and drew slowly close to him. The boy became very nervous.
"You're such a sweet boy! And cute, too!" She suddenly grabbed him and dragged him along with her. The boy uselessly struggled. "You're comin' along with me! As my DATE!"
"D-D-D-Date? Noooo thank you, you stu--"
"I SAID WE'RE GOING ON A DATE!" she screamed in a dangerously deep voice. The boy gulped and settled down. "We're gonna have sooo much fun with us on a date, boyfriend and girlfriend!" she said, her voice returning overly sweet. "We're gonna go on the Ferris Wheel and the Merry-Go-Round, oh, and you're gonna win me prizes and stuff and we'll have ice cream together, oh, and maybe we'll even have a goodnight hug and kiss, and..."
As Laura rambled on, dragging the poor boy with her, he looked terribly downcast and afraid. He could only say one thing:
"It just got worse."
--------------------
END TRANSMISSION