Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or the song that accompanies this fic.
Hey, I know I haven't finished the last fic yet but I thought I'd give ya'll a one shot for the heck of it.
Let That Be Enough
I wish I had what I need
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone
There always was the feeling of being lonely. No matter who was with me, no matter how many demons I ran with, I was alone. Before I met you, I didn't know what it meant to feel like I belonged. However, I met you and soon the four of us were working for the Reikai. For Koenma. I felt that I belonged to something. Something bigger then just me. Bigger than Yoko Kurama. Bigger then the world at times. I felt that I could become something greater, as long as I saw you; I knew that everything was okay.
I don't know when the feelings started to change, started to shift into something more meaningful then just belonging to a group. At the beginning, I was standoffish with all of you but soon you broke through the barrier. Or, perhaps the real breaking point was that day on the roof-top of my mother's hospital. That night, you were willing to give your life for mine and my mother's. It didn't matter that soon after; I saved your life by taking a sword through the stomach and completely betraying Hiei. What mattered was that I owed you something huge. Something I could never give and something I didn't even understand.
And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land
Here I am again, close to breaking and the only thing that sustains me is knowing that someday, I will see you and be with you once more. My heart doesn't care that you might never return, nor that your heart already belongs to someone else. What my heart wants more than anything is to see your face, and hear your voice. To watch you tease and play and smile and fight. My heart doesn't care that you don't want me the way I want you; the way I love you. I am content with the hope that you will someday return and take my loneliness away once again.
And all I see
It could never make me happy
And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing
Even knowing that you will never love me and we can never be happy together, I prevail with the hope for companionship and perhaps the hope of someday being more than companions… no, I cannot allow myself to think that way. I'm alright with knowing that you do not love me and I can never be truly happy.
Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
Let that be enough
All I want to know is that you care. All I want to know is that you think of me and it will be enough. Even if my heart breaks seeing you with Keiko, the memory of your hand on my hand, your arms around me, will be sufficient to keep me sane.
It's my birthday tomorrow
No one here could now
I was born this Thursday
22 years ago
It hurt that you couldn't be at my mother's wedding but I knew your reasons. I knew that the Makai needed you then. Now I know that I have to return soon.
And I feel stuck
Watching history repeating
Yeah, who am I?
Just a kid who knows he's needy
My life is a broken record. I constantly want things I cannot have. Or when I want something that I can receive easily, it never makes me happy. What I want, and what I need are in different categories. The former being easy to attain, the latter being nearly impossible. And who am I to ask for your love? I shouldn't, can't, won't, but how I need you will not allow me to forget.
Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough
Even though I will never send this letter, even though you will never read the words or know my pain, just knowing that we will inhabit the same world in a few days, brings me comfort without measure. Please, let that be enough.
A little different then what I usually write and complete and utter drabble. Let me know if you want me to extend it into a longer fic or just leave it as a one-shot.
As always, reviews are welcomed with open arms. But it's not cool to flame, literally. –laughs-
